The AuDHD Fight – When ADHD And Autism Fight Against Each Other
Alexis Lynch specializes in neurodiversity and encourages the community to incorporate a "difference, not a deficit" mindset. Lynch is neurodivergent herself and feels this assists in the therapeutic process and client relationship.
Having ADHD or being autistic has its quirks. Some are superpowers, and some are kryptonite. Understanding this about others can be easier for the neurodivergent, but understanding it within themselves can be more difficult. An interoception dysfunction affects how a person interprets the signals within their body. Examples of a lack of interoception would look like difficulty interpreting hunger or pain. This can affect a person because interoception plays a part in regulating our internal state. As they have difficulty with interoception, there is also a dysfunction in proprioception.
Proprioception is the inability to interpret the space and boundaries in the environment. With ADHD and autism, sensory stimuli are processed differently and can make it difficult for them to process visual information. Being able to process visual information is what allows a person to have the spatial awareness to, let’s say, not bump into walls. Many of the neurodivergent clients I see in my office are part of the “mysterious bruise club” because they (sometimes, without knowing) will bump into walls or slam a body part into something.
Although ADHD and autism both have interoception and proprioception dysfunction, they differ in the ways the characteristics present themselves. There are many overlaps in the symptoms but daily functioning for ADHD and autism can look very different. Imagine being someone diagnosed with both AuDHD.
An autistic person may prefer routines and organization, while ADHD can look like disorganization and resistance to schedules. When my AuDHD clients struggle with needing to be spontaneous but also needing to keep their schedules, we work together to find a middle ground where both ADHD and autism can function without becoming overwhelming. I describe it as ADHD is like running a loose ship while autism is always steering the boat with two hands. There are pros and cons to both.
Autistic people tend to have a more difficult time with social communication and wanting to be part of a group, while it is seen less in those with ADHD. This can be socially isolating for an autistic person as they are discouraged from social situations due to the uncomfortability of eye contact, analyzing everyone’s body language and words while also taking in the sensory events in their environment. It is common for an autistic person to have a subconscious script when interacting with others, causing an increase in anxiety. This also can make it difficult to socialize because we cannot always predict what a situation will be like. As autistic people may function within their script, those with ADHD can be impulsive and lack attention to detail.
Now, imagine being autistic and having ADHD. The internal fight and struggle can be overwhelming, on top of being overwhelmed by sensory processing issues and the guilt of feeling disorganized or forgetting appointments. With autism, there is a sense of feeling unsafe in the central nervous system, while those with ADHD want to build a business and move across the country. Are you seeing the fight?
The internal battle can feel confusing, like waking up as a new person each day. This is why I find psychoeducation and meeting yourself where you are so important. There is nothing “wrong” with you, and yes, there are others who experience the same ups and downs as you (in varying degrees, of course). There is a community of people who don’t fit into one box but have multiple boxes they are juggling.
If you resonate with this, give yourself some grace and feed the sides of you that need it. Give yourself the freedom to be spontaneous to a degree that the autistic side will not get overwhelmed. Create a flexible schedule that will help the autistic side feel safe but not overload ADHD. Finding the balance that works for you and mediating the fights as they arise will help you gain more self-acceptance as you are always present with yourself by meeting yourself where you are in that moment.
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Alexis Lynch, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Alexis Lynch is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the State of Florida. She specializes in neurodiversity and encourages the community to incorporate a "difference, not a deficit" mindset. Lynch is neurodivergent herself and feels this assists in the therapeutic process and client relationship. Lynch empowers her clients to utilize their strengths to work toward self-discovery and find comfort in feeling uncomfortable to gain confidence when met with challenges. The client can feel more present in their lives and reduce their anxiety by gaining this confidence and a newfound sense of self.
