Sheryl Maharaj Shares The Secret Ingredients To Turning Conflict Into Connection
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 6, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 8, 2024
Sheryl Maharaj is well-recognised globally as a Relationship Consultant, specialising in multifaceted workplace dynamics and interpersonal relationships, with a unique focus on breaking patterns for transformative change. Sheryl integrates her love for ancient traditions and science-based methodology in human development for meaningful results.
Conflict can often create division in relationships, but emotional resonance holds the key to turning conflict into connection. Sheryl Maharaj explores how shared emotional experiences and awareness can bridge divides, offering practical steps to embrace different perspectives, navigate difficult conversations, and build deeper, more fulfilling connections. Discover the magic in connection and learn how to foster harmony in both personal and professional relationships.
Emotional resonance – What is it?
In essence, emotional resonance is a shared emotional experience with another human being at any given moment, in time. It occurs when feelings, expressions, or behaviours deeply connect with and evoke similar emotions in others.
Two friends are at an art gallery. Both are moved by the beautiful artwork on the wall, leading to a shared emotional experience. This is emotional resonance.
If only one friend is moved by the artist's work and the other is neutral or indifferent, we do not share the same emotional experience. This may create a slight division and opposition between us. It isn’t right or wrong. It just is.
Why is emotional resonance important in our relationship dynamics?
As you and I share an emotional experience that resonates, we create a connection and strengthen our relationship.
All our relationships depend on our shared emotional experience and our ability to navigate divisions or opposition from our experience that may create conflict.
This is particularly evident in the multifaceted nature of conflict in the workplace founded by diverse perspectives, personalities, cultures and experiences. In the workplace environment conflict can intensify emotional reactions, elevating stress in individuals, creating disconnection and potentially provoking impulsive actions disruptive to the overarching goals and values of any organisation.
The same goes for interpersonal relationship dynamics. We feel at our best in a safe & connected relationship. From this place, we can maintain joyful, trusting and successful partnerships, friendships, parent-child and/or workplace relationships.
Secrets to turning conflict into connection within the relationship dynamic
1. Bring awareness into the equation
If we are experiencing a situation that is causing unease, division and conflict, best to stop in the moment and take a pause. This is all that is required of you. Pause.
This is how we de-escalate an unproductive discussion. Easier said than done.
Our emotional state plays a vital role in any discussion. It is essential to bring awareness to your emotions rising, in the moment. This awareness alone will allow you to stop and take a pause.
We simply take a pause.
This pause is invaluable. It affords us time and space to respond to the situation with an informed view.
2. Turn towards the conflict
Pausing from the challenging discussion does not give you the liberty to avoid the discussion.
We must respond to the situation. This means to act after the pause.
The pause allows you to move away from a reactive response, create awareness of your emotions and bring clarity of the situation. We are not taking an extended pause forever, running away or dismissing the situation.
By avoiding the discussion, we deepen the conflict over time and widen the gap towards connection, from our self and in our relationship dynamics.
It takes great courage to turn towards the difficult conversation and move through the process to maintain a connection.
3. Encourage different perspectives
Conflict arises through division.
Division within teams, across functions and levels within an organisation to dislikes and disgruntle between interpersonal relationships.
Our thoughts, emotions, likes and dislikes, perspectives, paradigms we operate from, background, cultural diversity, patterns and tradition, ego and history of trauma – ignite division and potential for conflict.
That said, we do not need to agree with everyone’s perspective. We can disagree and have varied and conflicting world views and at the same time remain harmonious.
To be able to increase your capacity to hold the tension of opposites and different perspectives and experiences is truly a sign of maturity, self-worth and wisdom.
Healthy relationship dynamics encourage different perspectives. All parties feel heard, seen and considered in the dynamic. This brings about significant safety and connection for all.
4. Embrace the opportunity
Difficult discussions will cause discomfort. As human beings, we are always looking to avoid discomfort, in favour of ease.
Wrap your arms around conflict and embrace the opportunity for growth. This may seem like a novel idea and counterintuitive. Keep in mind that conflict is a natural part of any relationship.
Choosing the easy way out is costly to our relationships.
Every time we forgo a difficult conversation and turn away from our truth only to keep the peace in any situation, this will cause an internal rift. Over time this behaviour may be the demise of the relationship’s emotional resonance, connection and safety within the dynamic.
By moving through conflict surprisingly, we find harmony and deeper connection on the other side.
5. The magic in connection
Connection permits us to be who we are and to enjoy the things that we love. It provides the freedom to be curious, to love openly, to create beauty and simply be.
To experience social pain through exclusion or conflict feels as real as physical pain.
Human connection is likened to necessity, not a luxury. Our bodies release oxytocin, a hormone that promotes feelings of trust and bonding and is the reason why we crave connection.
Connection is when two or more people interact with each other. Each person feels valued, seen, and heard.
Human connection can be a coffee with a friend, a hug from a partner, or a hike in nature with a colleague. Connecting with someone doesn’t have to always include words, either. Time spent in relative closeness and emotional resonance from an experience together will deepen bonds.
The interaction leaves you feeling energised, gives you strength and inspiration and the felt delight is reciprocated between the parties. You feel nourished from the interaction.
Connection can be found in solitude. It is key in healthy dynamics for each individual to allow time, in solitude. There is magic in taking a walk in nature, swimming in the ocean, embracing simplicity, listening to the birds sing and absorbing the healing power of beauty and awe, gifted in the world around us. This will have a profound positive impact on your mood, emotions, and energy and expand your capacity to create the life, you desire.
The toll of conflict
Navigating conflict can be a formidable challenge, regardless of its origin. Any challenging situation and conflict activate our brain’s stress response initiating a cascade of physiological changes.
Whether it involves discord forming from workplace disputes or interpersonal personal disagreements, the toll extends to our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.
Remember, the brain exists inside the body.
Our thoughts have a profound impact on our emotional well-being. It is crucial to understand the ramifications of stress in our bodies. Emotions left unfelt and unprocessed will show up as unease in our bodies. This will create a domino effect presenting a myriad of symptoms in our lives.
What can we do to reduce conflict and move towards connection and more delight in our lives?
Whether you growl like an angry leopard, shut down like a scared puppy or avoid conflict like a turtle, there are reasons for this.
Let's find out why together. Schedule a session today.
Read more from Sheryl Maharaj
Sheryl Maharaj, Relationship Consultant And Founder, Nourish
Sheryl Maharaj is well-recognised globally as a Relationship Consultant And Founder, Nourish. Her services aim to bring awareness to the forefront for individuals, team and organisations with pragmatic tools for moving through conflict, breaking patterns, creating connection, mastering effective communication and decision-making and maintaining sustainable change. She has a background in human development, conflict resolution, polyvagal/nervous system integration and transformative change.
