Reclaiming Reality After Upending Trauma – 5 Steps To Find Your Joy In Stillness
- Dec 22, 2023
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 1, 2024
Written by: Dr. Monica Riley, MD, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A tragic shooting rocked my world on December 6, 2023, and, no, I am not ok! I remember, I mourn, I will not forget the deliberate, heinous act that took the lives of 3 beloved colleagues on the campus of UNLV-Las Vegas. Hope not Fear.
The pathway back to reality after a tragedy is unique for everyone. We do know, though, that it is typical for people to experience a variety of emotions following a traumatic event. These feelings can include shock, sorrow, numbness, fear, anger, disillusionment, grief, and others. You may find that you have trouble sleeping, concentrating, eating, or remembering even simple tasks. This is common and should pass after a while. It will take some time to recover your sense of equilibrium. Take baby steps. It may help you to track your rest and energy levels to optimize your day.
Talk about it. Ask for support from people who care about you and who will listen to your concerns. Receiving support and care can be comforting and reassuring. It often helps to speak with others who have shared trauma experience, so you do not feel so different or alone. Asking for the kind of support you want, from people you trust, can make all the difference in how you move through this time. Sometimes, we want help by talking out the difficult thoughts that are going on in our head. Sometimes, we want help just being near friends and family and ignoring all the chaos of our lives. Sometimes, we want help just watching NETFLIX & Chillin'
Strive for balance. When a tragedy occurs, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and have a negative or pessimistic outlook. Striving for balance empowers you and allows for a healthier perspective on yourself and the world around you. Here is a simple grounding exercise that may help you as much as it is healing me: A grounding exercise called 5,4,3,2,1 engages all five senses and can bring you back to the here and now. Notice five things in your immediate environment. Then, touch four different things around you. The key to this exercise is allowing your brain to slow down enough to really notice your sensations. Next, close your eyes and listen to three different sounds in your immediate environment. Then notice two different smells near you. Finally, notice the taste in your mouth. You can even bring peppermint oil and smell it — scent is a great way to get grounded. Dr. Monica’s Natural Beauty offers many scentsational scents that gently nurture your spirit while soothing your nervous system.
Turn it off and take a break. You may want to keep informed, but try to limit the amount of news you take in, whether it’s from the Internet, television, newspapers, or magazines. While getting the news informs you, being overexposed to it can increase your stress. The images can be very powerful in reawakening your feelings of distress. Also, schedule some breaks to distract yourself from thinking about the incident and focus instead on something you enjoy. Try to do something that will lift your spirits. Take 5! “Soulitude – Dr. Monica Bickerstaff Riley.
Honor your feelings. Remember that it is common to have a range of emotions after a traumatic incident. You may experience intense stress similar to the effects of a physical injury. For example, you may feel exhausted, sore, or off balance.
Take care of yourself. Engage in healthy behaviors to enhance your ability to cope with excessive stress. Eat well-balanced meals, get plenty of rest and build physical activity into your day. Avoid alcohol and drugs because they can suppress your feelings rather than help you to manage and lessen your distress. In addition, alcohol and drugs may intensify your emotional or physical pain. Establish or re-establish routines such as eating meals at regular times and following an exercise program. If you are having trouble sleeping, try some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation or yoga. Playlist – “How To Get Through Tough Times”.
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Dr. Monica Riley, MD, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Monica Riley, MD, affectionately known as Dr. Monica, is a Doctor of Integrative Medicine with over 30 years of expertise in the Holistic Health Sciences. Dr. Monica is the Founder of Dr. Monica's Natural Beauty, LLC; the award-winning sustainable body care, skin and haircare collection featuring clean fragrances that inspire women 40+, with careful care to communities of color, to Self-Love through Self-Care. This active Vassar College Alum and 2-time Emmy Award winning documentary producer continues to inspire communities to action through her activism against human trafficking and cyberbullying. A sought-after public speaker and podcast guest, Dr. Monica believes that “Self-Care IS Healthcare"™
