Reclaim, Rediscover & Rebuild In Mid-Life – Exclusive Interview With Shannan Blum

Shannan has been a helping professional since obtaining her Master’s Degree in Marriage & Family Therapy in 1992. She’s helped teens and adults in a variety of settings: middle schools, private practices, clinical therapist & manager of full- and partial-day treatment centers, and most recently as an assistant director of a group private practice. Currently, she’s passionate about providing a more collaborative, connected experience through transformational coaching and content creation in order to support more people in their healing. She was a stay-at-home mom for 18 years, self-published author, and presenter at parenting/homeschooling conferences and church organizations during these years, only formally creating SBMFT Services, LLC in 2022 at 55 years old. She recently developed her premium coaching program “The Kairos r3 Transformation Method,” to reach and empower more women on their healing journey.

You can learn more about Shannan’s professional background by visiting her website. While her trauma training in Basic EMDR, DBT training, along with specializations in anxiety treatment, digital wellness, and eating disorders offers a strong skill set, it’s the intersection of her personal life and professional expertise that really fuels her impact.

Shannan Blum, SBMFTServices, PLLC

What’s important for us to know about your own healing journey?

Well, for one thing, I no longer apologize for my experiences and how they’ve made me who I am today. I transparently share my pain, hope and strength as I continue my own healing journey. I was born in the ‘60s and lived in the Haight/Ashbury District of San Francisco. When I was about 10, my parents moved to a suburb in the East Bay then divorced and remarried shortly after that. Childhood trauma and the chaos of a dysfunctional family system created a sense of loneliness and anxiety within me, although I was a bright and highly sensitive child. As an adolescent, I was highly insecure and desperately tried to fit in. I demonstrated both people-pleasing and defiant behaviors as I tried to find my center.

So intense was this drive, that I chased security & stability by converting to a conservative, high-control religion when I was 17 years old. While this appeared to provide the belonging and safety I desperately desired, it created long-lasting fractures in my relationships with my parents and step-parents. Decades later, as I was still raising my four incredible kids, I came to understand I experienced religious trauma and was living life in a high-control cult, not ‘just a religion.’ My healing and deconstruction process occurred in my mid-40s as I found the strength to prioritize my mental well-being over the approval of others.

Other than being a parent, I consider my two most transformative experiences to be leaving my unhealthy, 22-year marriage and then deconstructing & healing my way into more wholeness with my second husband. I re-claimed myself along the way, accepted my whole-self, and built a life I truly love.

As a therapist, we’re taught to hold our experiences “very close to the vest unless you’re sure it will benefit the client.” This is a high-control type of instruction, as how can one be ‘sure it will benefit the client?’ This is what I mean by not apologizing for sharing any longer; my life experience is relatable, and that empowers transformative experiences for others to “heal into wholeness.” I find great joy as I support my clients in elevating themselves into belonging rather than ‘fitting in.’

What kind of audience are you looking to help, and how?

I empower adult women on their self-acceptance journey, ‘finding themselves again,’ after being overshadowed by many roles they’ve fulfilled. Even after engaging in traditional therapy, many women express wanting more connected maintenance support as they integrate skills. Obviously, standard therapy fills an essential role in clinically addressing impairments. I believe the deep transformative work comes from synthesizing skills into a healing lifestyle.

I provide premium coaching using my 6-step signature program, “The Kairos r3 Transformation Method: Reclaim, Rediscover, & Rebuild.” I developed this from my own trauma resolution, skills training, recovery support, and professional expertise. The Kairos Method provides clarity in values and purpose, mental wellness content, embodied skills for self-connection, relationship-building skills, and a holistic community of support. All of this is offered to help clients not only avoid relapse, but move from ‘doing skills’ to ‘healing habits.’ My programs are grounded in both group and 1:1 coaching, Q&As, compassionate accountability support, progress tracking, access to all my resources, and community engagement. My 6-step signature program promotes sustainable healing to connect all ‘parts’ into one cohesive whole ‒ what I call ‘whole-self acceptance,’ All of these practices support reclaiming, rediscovering and rebuilding – essential pillars of wholeness and wholehearted living.

What is something different about you as a helping professional?

I would say being a generational cycle-breaker and cult-survivor has empowered me to see signs of high-control organizations that most others will miss or minimize. High-control organizations leverage individuals to ‘outsource’ their worth, inherent value, and decision-making to support the organization. I was in the exploitive systems, both personally and professionally, and survived as I healed my way out.

Many providers are unaware of the systemic mechanisms of high-control groups, and because they are systemic, many unknowingly reinforce compliance with them. I’m able to help individuals learn & notice the signs for themselves, observe impacts, and make effective choices for personal recovery.

I’ve heard the phrase, “my mess is my message of hope.” Well, here’s my journey’s messy message: a) nearly two decades of chaotic dysfunctional living and family substance abuse, b) to 37 years of “stable,” conservative, religious cult living, and c) reconstructing a wholehearted life after deconstructing cult beliefs and practices.

While my profession gave me a ‘trauma-healing-from-the-outside view,’ my personal wholeness healing gave me a “trauma-healing-from-the-inside view.” While I can’t say I was a fan as each new insight brought new layers of pain and old wounding, I was ready to move out of suffering and heal into wholehearted living. I now get how “disorders” aren’t maladaptive, but very adaptive skills in the truest sense.

As a result of my own “burn it down to build them up” process, I can speak truth to power when I see it. Dedicated focus and willingness to shift into sustainable, thriving skills is something I’ve experienced and coin “healing habits into wholeness.” I am a sharp observer of patterns in interactions, both effective and ineffective, and have a felt-sense of how to alleviate relational suffering. Because I’ve been there, I bring my full, authentic self into connection with my clients as they seek internal, relational, and holistic repair.

What are your current goals for your business?

I’m in the early stages right now, working on increasing my visibility, growing the business, and helping more women heal. I believe individual healing fosters collective healing, especially as women, sisters, mothers, and daughters. I’m dedicated to promoting embodied self-connection, self-trust, and more whole-self acceptance. This coaching program is truly where my heart lies: to stand for my clients’ transformation, to inspire and elevate them to overcome obstacles and bridge to what they fiercely desire. Within the next few years, I plan expanding and offering weekend intensives/retreats, single VIP days, and hopefully producing a podcast as well.

What inspires you?

Since I’m a generational cycle-breaker, I am profoundly aware of the lonely path it takes. I find inspiration in empowering those who walk the cycle-breaking path. It’s inspiring to witness how powerfully they invest in themselves, heal their inner wounds, and experience whole-self transformation. They embody authenticity and stepping into their power versus guardedness and living small. I love seeing how this influences family relationships, friendships, and personal and professional choices. Holding space for my own story and healing journey is how I say, “You’re not alone, I see you, there is hope for us!” I feel inspired when these cycle-breakers integrate their traumas, embody self-trust, intuition, loving-kindness, mindfulness, and self-compassion. Because they are connected to themselves in an authentic manner, they are also capable of being powerful and generous, holding healthy boundaries, being playful, creative, and encouraging. My younger sister is one such person and consistently inspires me.

Facts

• Name & Age: Shannan Blum, 56 y.o

• Family: Husband, 4 children, 5 step-children and 8 grandchildren

• Top Fave Hobbies: pool or beach time, horses, watercolor, digital photo books

• Top Fave Experiences: watching my adult children and partners hang out & laugh, just about any convo with my sister and husband!

• Dislikes: I don’t enjoy cooking much, really dislike breaches of trust

• Fun Fact: I have never taken a chemistry class (back then, I didn’t believe I was smart enough for it and found ways to sub other classes)!

If you want to support developing healing habits and could use premium, transformational coaching to feel more yourself and cultivate whole-self acceptance, please visit my resources page here, my website, book a consultation or follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram.

Read more from Shannan!