Pricing With Power ‒ Healing The People Pleaser In You
- Brainz Magazine
- Feb 24, 2023
- 7 min read
Written by: Jenny McCabe, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you find yourself frequently worried about what others think of you? Do you feel like you can’t put a price on your service because you’re afraid of what people may think? Have you ever tried to raise your prices and then the fear causes you to drop them down again?
If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with the people pleaser in us and it can be difficult to stand up for ourselves and own our worth. However, with the right mindset, energy, and strategies, you can learn to know your value and own your worth to price with power to heal the people pleaser in you.
What is People Pleasing?
People pleasing is a core need to be liked and accepted and a deep need for a sense of belonging or security. A people pleaser's behaviour often puts other people's needs and wants before their own. People pleasers are usually afraid of confrontation or upsetting other people, so they often put their own needs and desires on the back burner. People pleasers often struggle to set boundaries and say no, because they fear that they will disappoint someone. They may also feel guilty if they don’t comply with the demands of others, so they end up giving in and feeling like they are not in control of their own lives.
People pleasers may be overly concerned about what other people think of them and feel the need to be perfect to be accepted. They often struggle to find balance in their relationships as they find it difficult to say no and set boundaries. This can lead to feelings of resentment and anger as they often end up feeling taken advantage of.
In business, people pleasing can show up in your pricing and if you have a tendency for pricing to people please, you are sabotaging your income. The cost of being a people pleaser can be immense because low fees undermine your creditability and plays havoc with your self-worth and capacity to receive financial abundance.
People pleasers often feel like they don’t have a voice and their own opinions and needs get pushed aside. They often feel, taken advantage of as they may end up doing things they don’t really want to do and then feel guilty or resentful afterwards.
Whether you’ve been in business for a few months or even a few years, people pleasing with your prices can be a challenge, especially for women because of the societal conditioning that teaches women to be pleasing, to be modest, and not to ask for too much, instead of standing in our power and going after what we want. The consequence of this in your business means, you may feel the need to cave in and reduce your fees at the first sign of an objection, under-quoting to win business or customising all your quotes or offers to please your clients.
But when you can overcome the people pleaser in you, and price with confidence, you are taking control of your life and taking back the power that people pleasing has taken away from you.
When you price with confidence, you are making a statement that you value your time and your work, and that you are not afraid to put a price tag on it. Being able to set boundaries and say no to clients who can’t afford your prices will also give you the freedom to make decisions that are best for you, without worrying about what others think.
Charging your value will also help you feel courageous and empowered by your fees as you experience greater success in your work. When you price your work confidently and fairly, you will attract clients that value your work and are willing to pay what you are worth. This leads to more successful and potent outcomes and transformation for your clients, resulting in much happier clients.
It also leads to a deeper sense of self-worth and greater fulfilment as you will no longer be taking on projects that don’t pay enough or clients who are challenging to work with.
When you can overcome the people pleasing, you’ll reduce a lot of the money drama around pricing because if you don’t, it creates an environment where you are doubting yourself, questioning your worth, and feeling overwhelmed, instead of growing your business with ease and grace.
The Importance of Knowing Your Value
Knowing your value is essential for pricing with power and integrity. You need to be able to recognise and appreciate the unique skills, expertise, and experience that you have to offer so that you can assign value to your service which should be based on the results, outcome, or transformation that you offer.
Your pricing is a business decision so here are three questions to consider:
Q1. What do my fees say about me?
Remember your fees are a business decision and your fees are a message that you send out to the world about you, how you value yourself, and where you fit in the market.
Q2. Do my fees represent the value, clients receive from my service, or do they represent my fears?
In other words, do your fees represent the results, transformation or specific outcomes from your service, or do your fees represent your fears; or other people’s opinions about what you should charge?
Q3. Whom do I want to attract with my fees?
What does your dream client look like? Is it someone who shows up and does the work, and sees the value of your service, or someone who is going to complain and be difficult to work with?
If you want to work with your dream clients, you have to ensure your fees are high enough so that people take you and your sacred work seriously and are willing to invest in themselves and their business.
Four Tips to Stop People Pleasing with Your Pricing
No. 1 Stop Apologising For Charging Respectable Fees
People pleasers will often have apologetic energy about their fees but it’s perfectly acceptable to make money doing something that you LOVE to do or that you find easy. In fact, you are a business so you’re absolutely allowed to make money to support yourself and your family and make a profit. Being apologetic for charging respectable fees is not empowering and it’s not empowering for your clients.
Instead, be proud of your fees and state your fees with the confidence that your service has value. Let go of any guilt or shame you might have for charging respectably. It really isn’t serving you. The only way to do this, ‒ is to give yourself the PERMISSION to start owning your worth and to have a lucrative business.
No. 2 Accept That Being Judged Has Nothing To Do With You
The fear of what others think is a major obstacle to overcoming the people pleaser in you because of the need to be liked and accepted by everyone and this can lead to a fear of speaking up and standing up for yourself.
But being judged is not something you can control because it’s already happening. You are being judged for everything you do or say and how you show up on social media or at meetings etc.
Stop giving it any power, let go of caring about it, and don’t let other people’s opinions determine what YOU charge.
No. 3 Learn To LOVE Your Fees!
Like anything you love, you will stand up for them, uphold them, and respect them and you’ll expect your clients to respect them too.
Everything in your business is energy and your fees have energy too, it’s up to you to get energetically aligned with your prices and give your prices the energy that you want to put out.
For example, if you’re being apologetic about your fees, then the energy that you are shrouding your fees in, is of guilt or shame and these are negative emotions. If you don’t feel congruent with your fees, your potential clients will feel that energy. But if you LOVE your fees, you’re sending out loving and positive energy around your fees and your clients will respect you for it.
No. 4 Do Not Confuse Your Business With A Charity
When you have a clear understanding of your value, it is important to start setting boundaries and saying no. People pleasers often struggle with this as they are afraid of disappointing others or upsetting them.
As a coach, healer, therapist, or service provider, you are inherently built to want to help people but it is important to remember that you have the right to say no and to have boundaries. You don’t have to help everyone who knocks on your door.
Start running your business as a business and not a charity. Set clear boundaries around what you will and won’t do. Get clear and concise about who you are willing to work with and who you’re not willing to work with. This will help you to stay focused and help you to avoid taking on projects that you don’t really want or clients who can’t afford your fees.
Get paid for your work and THEN give to a charity of your choice. Your business is not a charity, there’s a difference!
Pricing with power and confidence is the key to start healing the people pleaser in you. By setting boundaries, saying no, and understanding your value, you will be able to take back the power that people pleasing has taken away. You will be able to experience greater success and even fall in love with your business again as you will be able to focus on projects that you are passionate about and clients who are happy to you what you are worth. So, take the step today and start pricing with power, passion, and purpose.
Jenny McCabe, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jenny McCabe is the founder of The Business Queen Collection and is a business coach and alchemist, marketing & brand strategist, energetic worker, and spiritual entrepreneur.
Previously a business coach for an award-winning franchise, her experience in business and talent for identifying opportunities and solving problems, helps her transform her clients’ big visions into leveraged programs, and packages. Jenny stands for every woman living in financial abundance and their femme power to raise the global frequency.
Jenny helps coaches, healers, therapists, and service providers learn how to package and price their high-end offers, close high-ticket and attract their soul-aligned clients through her signature program: High-End Business Queen.
