Not Sure What You Are Looking For? How Will You Know When You Find It? — 4 Essential Steps
- Brainz Magazine
- May 7, 2021
- 6 min read
Written by: Martina Krulakova, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You are not the only one.
Having clarity is a gift only a few of us possess. When I was little, I always admired strong and bold individuals who had strengths and who dared to say out loud what they wanted. In my case, it was being a bit different. To these days, I still remember the days and even weeks full of torturing thoughts when I had to make an important decision in my life: what do I want?
I was fifteen, and back then, I had to decide for myself which high school I would attend. During the communist era, this single scariest decision would determine the rest of my working life. The day after you left school, you would get a job in what you trained to do for the rest of your life.
I just couldn’t imagine anything that I would want to do for the rest of my life. Forever! My knowledge of real life at that age was poor, but I also felt very ashamed to talk about it to gain a broader perspective or simply to ask for help. It felt like I was the only one who had no idea what I wanted to do in life. Missing the confidence and not being able to decide. How foolish was I when I look back at it now, judging the situation from the perspective of my wiser self?
Crossroads can hit you at any age and any time.
Things are very much different now, but what hasn’t changed is putting pressure on ourselves at crossroads.
It can hit you at any age. Pushed by some crises in any area of one’s life. We all know those moments when you simply have to stop and ask yourself:
What’s next?
What’s the next step for me?
What do I want?
My life-threatening decision wasn’t the only crossroad I have experienced in my life. Many others followed. No matter your life experiences or age, making an important decision or commitment to yourself can be scary.
4 essential steps to get you out of a downward spiral
So here are some tips that I have mastered along my own journey but also through working with my clients:
1. Be honest with yourself.
Nobody knows you better than you. How you feel about your current situation is real, so don’t suppress your emotions because they are there for a reason. If you have been feeling miserable, empty, or unhappy for some time, there is a reason for that. And those emotions are your feedback, so listen to them.
Writing is healing. That’s the first step I would encourage you to do. Grab anything you can write on and let it all out. Whatever is going on in your life, in your head, and inside of you.
We tend to wear a mask sometimes, pretending that everything is fine when it’s not. This mask can carry us through some periods, whether at home or in the workplace, but our real emotions don’t go away.
So getting clear on how you really feel is the step I recommend you to start with. Let it all out. You own it to yourself. You want to be heard, seen, and understood.
2. Create the future you want to live.
This simple exercise may sound like the case of easier said than done.
I can’t even tell you how many times I had clients who forgot to dream, who don’t even let the what if it works come near them. Who never start because of their self-doubts or not having a clear vision, enough of how to achieve their dreams. So they dismiss all possible options instead of trying to start somewhere.
These are change-makers once you consider things don’t have to be a certain way, not in the way you think they should be:
You don’t need all the answers right now because you don’t
You don’t have to become someone else, someone better to start because you are already perfect as you are (it’s not another cliche, it’s a fact! and I can prove it to you)
You don’t need to know clearly your purpose because you are exactly where you need to be right now – that’s your purpose for now
You don’t need to know your end goal because that’s the one you are creating– you are the co-creator of your life
Your life direction may change few times during life, and that’s ok – fall in love with this process now because you have the power to choose where you want to go
You may encounter several turning points during your life, and that’s ok too
Always commit with your heart and use your mind to figure out the how
You don’t have to do it all by yourself because nobody ever does
3. Let yourself have some joy.
Stop pushing yourself to know all the answers, and start listening instead. Let those answers come to you.
Literally, give yourself a break and do something that you really love. Whatever it is. If you want to watch romantic movies all day, go and do that. If you want to go out and grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea, do it. If you love hiking, go out for a walk!
Do more of what makes you happy. The things that you are looking for are inside of you. You have all the answers you need.
You don’t have to invent the wheel or come out with an extraordinary idea that will save the world. Your job is to do more of what makes you happy. As simple as it sounds, it is also not simple to do.
I can’t emphasize enough how important this step is. Certain things make YOU happy. Not me, not your partner or your Mum – just you.
To work more and harder won’t get you there.
Giving myself this permission and do more of what makes me happy was also my golden ticket out of a miserable downward spiral.
I left my home country and came to London with a big dream. To completely change my life even though I had no idea in what way or how to do it.
I thought that if I had a better job, it would give me more money and I could travel more often. Sounds logical, doesn’t it? It does make perfect sense.
However, not just any job would work for me. To get a better salary, you have to work more and harder. To get a better salary, you have to be good at something. To be good at something, you have to study and learn. To study more and continuously, you have to like it.
That was the core of the issue. I didn’t like what I was learning in the past, so my favorite question would pop up again and again: What do you love?
What I truly loved wasn’t an offer in any regular job I could think of, and so I embarked on the search to find it.
That’s why I have created a new loving path for myself, a job which has been turned into a mission to help other individuals seeking their special something in their lives and develop this idea into a mission-driven by heart and filled with a hunger to create something greater.
4. You are chasing what you have been missing the most.
You are chasing what you need the most. That’s the last but not least important piece of the puzzle.
In my case, it was really good at something. To do something that I loved enough so that I can excel in my own unique way.
The word passion = suffer, which comes from void. Your passion, whatever it is, is there for a reason. To fulfill the void you have felt, and now it’s your soul’s mission to find it so that you can reach up to a whole new level of greatness.
What have you been missing and chasing after?
I hope these 4 simple steps will allow you to connect with your soul’s desire and allow your mind to figure out the best way to make this possible.
It is often the self-imposed limiting beliefs you hold about yourself are those which keep you from living the life you are after.
It all starts with you.
Martina Krulakova, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
MartinaK is a Clarity Alignment Coach helping you become an inspiring leader and master of life you love.
Her constant search for happiness and money left her broke, miserable and lonely in a foreign country. That was when she realized that real transformation starts within, so she mastered the formula to fulfillment.
Her search has turned into a mission. Today she is helping other women find their unique path and fulfilling careers they love and get handsomely paid for it by working with individuals, small groups, and running powerful workshops.
She teaches the importance of self-awareness, mastering yourself and your inner world as the core solution to most problems.
Because it all starts with YOU!
