Written by: Malissa Veroni, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We have heard about bullying bosses, difficult coworkers or clients, but does narcissism exist in the workplace?
Narcissism has been a hot word for the last few years with more people becoming aware of this personality style in hopes to understand it and avoid the often devastating and maddening effect it can have on people, in relationships, workplaces, and the overall community. While it is true that not all workplaces have narcissistic people in them, for the organizations or workplaces that do have it, it can hurt team morale, employees’ mental health, productivity, and customer outcomes.
We all had rough days at work but this is a whole other level. Narcissism in the workplace can be covert or overt and can vary in how it is observed and supported. It can show itself in a coworker, someone in leadership, or be a communal culture. While leaving your job may be an option for some people, it may not be an option for everyone. One may need to stay at their job, for a variety of reasons, so here are a few examples to help you recognize narcissism in the workplace and help you manage your mental health while keeping your job.
Give Aways of Narcissism in the Work Place
You typically can see the overt bully coming, however, they may not be as obvious. Discovering and coping with it can be confusing and can trigger relational and family traumas which can have a greater impact on one’s mental health.
People often say that they are being ignored or feel like there are going crazy (gaslight). They may also report that they feel like they are being bullied and may even share stories of how a narcissistic person stole their project or clients at work.
Here are a few tell-tale signs you might be dealing with narcissism personality styles in the workplace:
Does someone in the workplace put on a big show for simply doing what they are supposed to do anyways
Does someone in the workplace think and act like the boss, perhaps even give your direction or discipline but they do not have the authority to do so
Does someone in the workplace think that rules (and sometimes laws) do not apply to them and that they may readily break them without remorse
Does someone in the workplace, struggle with or cannot handle criticism?
Do they “blow up” with feedback so people may avoid telling them things that may need correction?
These examples and more can challenge your ability to do work, want to show up, and be part of the team. It can also negatively affect your mental health, how you feel about yourself and how you feel about your work. Because of this, it is something that people often bring home with them which in turn can also impact your relationships and your time away from work. There is only so much one can handle before it gets to you!
So how do you keep your sanity and your job?
How to Keep your Sanity and your Job:
This is going to sound easier than it is and will take a lot of extra effort from you. It can be challenging as when you feel dragged down it is preciously the time you need to take positive action.
Here are some tips for you to keep your sanity and your job at the same time:
It is really important to keep records. You may need to keep it in a secure place at work or take it home with you if you are worried that someone may read it or use it against you. Keep one journal for your factual interactions and observations and keep another journal for your feelings and experiences.
It is essential to establish clear boundaries. It is okay to have different boundaries than your coworkers with the egoistical person at work. An example of a boundary may be how often you talk to the combative person. Sometimes keeping your communication to email only can help limit challenges and help you keep a paper trail.
It is imperative that you build your support system, both inside and outside of work. We all need to be around people that help build us up and fill our cups. Be sure to be that for someone else as well. People need people.
Please do not ignore abusive behaviour. If you feel you are in danger call protective services, and talk to your leadership, Human Resources, and/or your union. Everyone deserves to be and feel safe at work-in fact it is the law in many countries.
Life is all about balance. Make sure you have something outside of work to look forward to regularly. Exercising can be helpful to cope with feelings of stress and tension as well as to help build overall wellness.
There is hope and help. By following these tips you can be well on your way to making your workplace and mental health more safe and more satisfying. We all deserve peace and to be safe at work. If you need more support, it is important to see a qualified registered therapist who is trained and understands narcissism and abuse as well as the additional complexities of dealing with it in the workplace. This is your livelihood. We at Keep’N It Real Solutions are happy to walk alongside you with this issue, and other issues, to help strengthen your mental health and get the solutions you need and deserve!
Malissa Veroni, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Malissa Veroni is the founding CEO and lead therapist at Keep’N It Real Solutions. For the past 15 years Malissa has been a foot solider in the field of social work; teaching, and serving students and clients alike. She is a published author, mentor, and mental health therapist who focuses on combining theory, practical approach and individual quality holistic care to help clients heal and grow from a variety of concerns. Malissa is known as a specialist in the field of Narcissistic Abuse, Intimate Partner Violence, the LGBTQ2s Community, and in Sex Therapy. She is also a Designated Capacity Assessor and a mentor to several social workers worldwide.
