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Busy minds are often hard to settle. A mindful practice can make a profound impact on a family. As a parent days and particularly bedtime can be overwhelming. I remember the feeling of angst as the night was winding down, and my child was winding up. After attempts to create a quiet routine, I learned that his busy mind was seriously struggling to settle, while mine was in exhaustion mode and desperate for a break. Desperate because all day we just went. Busy, on autopilot. Tasks, playtime, responsibilities, repeat.
When I began learning about mindfulness I learned that intentionally slowing down provided so many gifts. With people-pleasing and perfectionistic expectations of self, I had to learn to give myself permission to prioritize the time and soon understood the magnitude that it had on my life and in turn my family’s life.
Children are naturally mindful. They observe the world with wonder. Without judgement. If you watch a little one first explore their hands, they take time to observe them, watch how they move, and how the air feels on them. They move at a slower pace. Naturally noticing many of the things in our world that just become part of our day. As parents, starting with a mindful practice of your own not only has great effects on your awareness, energy, stress levels, and patience but your child’s success to practicing and living a mindful life.
Effects of mindfulness
"Mindfulness is “the awareness of paying attention, on purpose, without judgment." – John Kabat-Zinn (1994) The creator of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR).
A mindful practice is shown to have a great impact on our brains, nervous systems, and social and emotional well-being. By having awareness without judgment we are able to have better self-acceptance, and acceptance of others. For children and youth, these are essential in social and emotional learning. Mindfulness practices also have an impact on increased intuition, enhanced concentration and decreased stress, fostering a sense of peace and effective emotional regulation strategies. This article from Harvard Health discusses the physiological effects on brain pathways and attention.
Mindfulness vs meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are interrelated. Meditation is a practice. Meditation practices create space and time for mindfulness to grow. Often guided by a voice or in silence, opportunity is created to focus on what is being said, to tune into your senses, and to pay attention to what thoughts are coming forward. In turn, a meditative practice can help you become more mindful. However, being mindful is not dependent on meditation. Below we explore 5 ways to develop a mindful practice.
5 ways to practice mindfulness
1. Set a timer to take breaks every day
Whether it’s during playtime, when your child naps, at bedtime or when you are waiting for an after school sport/practice, set a timer and take a mindful break. (It doesn’t have to be long. 2-5mins works too!) Being intentional is key to growing your mindful awareness. Notice your thoughts ( without judgment!), your breath, or the sounds around you. By developing a consistent practice for yourself, you will teach your children to do the same.
2. Recognize mindful opportunities
Don’t be afraid to let them know you need a mindful break, or when you notice that you or they are being mindful-point it out! “Hey, that was very mindful!” Or “I’m just going to slow down and take notice of my breath right now.”
3. Get mindful when in nature
When you are on a walk, stop together and look at the trees or flowers. Scan from the ground, following your awareness up the trunk to the branches and the leaves. Talk about what you observe. What you hear. Notice if you smell anything. Describe what the leaves look like.
4. Have fun
If something is fun there is more of a chance that we want to do it again. Create opportunities that each person enjoys where paying attention happens organically. Crafts, drawing, painting, music, puzzles, kicking a ball, walking, or playing breathing and sensory games are several naturally mindful activities. By immersing your attention and focus in the activity, you are paying attention in the moment. Observing any thoughts and feelings that arise creates an opportunity to remind ourselves to look at them without judgment.
5. Listen to meditations
For busy minds, guided meditations can be an excellent way to wind down, shift focus and allow for mindful awareness and reflection. Whether at bedtime or mid-day, these can be great for children of all ages, especially teens.
Remember that mindfulness is about awareness and observing without judgment. It takes time to develop a mindful way of living if you have been coasting on autopilot for some time. Start slow and have grace with yourself and your family. Slowing down can feel uncomfortable for some. The key to success is intention and making time for the practice. Just keep at it. Little moments. Big ones. They all have an impact and can create a lasting effect on your family.
If you are ready to learn more about Mindfulness practices contact me here.
Read more from Nickola Ceccarelli
Nickola Ceccarelli, Mindfulness and Reiki Master Teacher
Nickola is a Registered Nurse, Certified Adult and Child Mindfulness Facilitator, Reiki Master Teacher supporting individuals of all ages on the path to healing and empowerment. With over 25 years of experience in caregiving, Nickola understood the heaviness and exhaustion that comes with caring for others and the profound impact mindfulness and energy healing can have.
She is the founder of Starlite Guide Wellness, which offers in person and on line workshops, training and energy healing modalities.
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