Living In Judgment-Free Authenticity
Written by: Fran Pedron, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Standing IN – Standing UP – Standing OUT
Living In Authenticity with Earth Shaking Confidence
To get to the Earth Shaking Confidence, first, you have to uncover your authenticity.
To do that, you must release judgments.
Most people squirm at the thought, “ME, I don’t have judgments!”
Wouldn’t that be a wonderful thought – only if it were true.
SO ask yourself, “What judgments do I have that need to go?”
Judgments Reign Supreme
Judgment, from the dictionary, means the ability to make decisions or come to sensible conclusions; a pronounced opinion or sentence; and the process of forming an opinion by comparing.
Judgments steal from you so much. Many times, you do not realize it until it is too late, and there is no way to regain yourself. You may feel that you do not have time to contribute to your life. You may see yourself as not having the courage to show up for you anymore. You may know that your self-worth is nowhere to be found. It is an endless stream of what you cannot do.
To start recognizing judgments, ask yourself, “How do I judge myself, and how often?”
Answering these questions may uncover AHAs and insights.
How do I determine how I perform: objectively or feeling alone?
Do I compare myself to others by standing on equal footing or using generalizations?
Do I accept others for who they are or who I need them to be?
Is my worth performance-based?
Do I accept all of me: wholly or in bits and pieces?
Do I see the good in myself and others?
If I do not like something about myself or others, then I know the entire person or myself is negative, worthless, or bad – yes or no?
Do you also have this type of self-talk?
I’m such a jerk. How could I have done or said that?
I’m so stupid. I should have learned that by now.
I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right.
No one could love me. I’m not lovable.
These lists are endless. How do you feel about your answers?
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything you will be happiest.” – Sri Chinmoy
Knocking Down the Castle
Judgments are points of comparison and often lead down that yellow brick road to doomsday. You start to realize you boosted yourself via an opinion of others and not “the you,” who looks back in the mirror each morning.
When you choose to make a difference in your life, you begin to choose yourself as the necessity, not the priority. Being the necessity means you come from that place of truth in your heart … that place free of clutter … to deliver your truth – to yourself and the world.
Releasing judgments allows mental and emotional space to clear and increased energy to be a part of daily living.
Look at these ways to release judgments found.
Use pattern interrupts – when you catch yourself having a defining moment, thought, etc. – ask yourself, “Do I really know this person saying, feeling, choosing that?”
Switch to praise – come up with one thing you like about someone and honor them with praise. Say it out loud – the outside conversation takes attention and places it in the praise.
Look within – find places where you make decisions. Ask yourself, “Is this really how I feel? Is this really my truth, or is it how I really feel about myself?”
Be discerning – you delve down to the foundation of feelings, which can bring much clarity. Journaling allows you to see in black and white the truths and falsehoods to be honored or addressed.
Admit to your feelings and findings – self-discovery is an amazing tool. It is also filled with many dimensions of exploration growth, and that growth is filled with many “is this really me” levels to own and embrace or disown and trash. Don’t revisit the trash – Take it out for good!
Be gentle with yourself – this discovery opens old wounds, regrets, and a plethora of human emotions. Self-discoveries are made and must be addressed to heal.
This list takes many forms. This is just a starting discovery point.
“When you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were so caught up in the struggle against the reality that was all you could do.” – Traveling Free, Mandy Evans.
Building the Castle Anew
Now that the clutter of falsehood and untruth no longer defines YOU, authenticity is the word of the day!
In your authentic self, you develop a confidence-building self-acceptance. You start from these foundational truths.
Believe in your worth and uniqueness. There is only one YOU.
Embrace your self-humanity. Self-Joy replaces negativity, whether toiling with a tedious project or growing through self-development.
Accept the mistakes you make. Use them as your newest success-learning curve. Move onto a bigger and better you. Focus on action or behavior change to achieve better “you” results.
Use positive self-talk. Compliment yourself. Use “I can do this,” or “I can find a solution for this,” or “Forgiving others is just what I do,” or find reinforcement statements that support the freer, more positive you.
Be tolerant and compassionate with yourself. You are your own best friend. Take care of yourself, as you would that person you cherish and adore.
What can you add to this list?
Authenticity is highly valued. We seek those who stand up for what they believe in, are committed and passionate about many things, align with their beliefs in what they say and how they act, are consistent in their behavior, etc.
As you experience your authenticity, look for these characteristics:
Have realistic perceptions of reality, not unrealistic perceptions of reality.
Acceptance of self and others, not looking to others for approval.
Non-hostile sense of humor, humor that is not hurtful and derogatory.
Ability to express emotions freely and clearly, not holding an agenda behind what is spoken.
Open to learning from past mistakes, not repeating patterns of self-depreciating behavior.
Understand what motivates you, not knowing what is in your heart.
Being in your authenticity is engaging from healthy non-defensive actions and emotional maturity.
Wearing Your Crown
You have worked really hard. Now it is time to celebrate the You, which has been rebirthed anew.
Through judgment discovery, you have found pieces that do not support the experience you want to live. You have released them and put in their place behaviors that align with your authenticity. Then you have rebuilt yourself with self-acceptance through actions and definitions that support who you are on purpose. This leads you to know your Earth Shaking Confidence intimately and without question.
Fran Pedron, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Fran Pedron combines intuition, education, and life experience to help clients understand their foundational self-definition, make changes, and intention-purposed plans, which align with who they are as they create their desired outcomes.
Her experience in insurance, technology, accounting, communications, along with being abruptly downsized later in life, led her to understand how change affects people and their decision-making processes, along with the need to make decisions aligned with their authenticity.
