Written by: Eunice Cheung, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It's a different game with different "rules", discipline, system, finances, taxes.
Everything we have been taught in life is a lie.
Well, almost everything.
In school, you’re given an exam to study for, you take it then you learn what you can improve on.
But in life, it’s the opposite.
You’re given the exam (the experience) first then the consequences of your actions (the lesson) teaches you what not to do next time.
It’s painful but a direct learning experience makes it hard for you to forget what you’ve learnt.
What Schools Don’t Teach Us
In school, we don’t get taught how to regulate our emotions, how to cope with failure, setbacks, how to manage our time, finances, how to know when to rest to prevent burnout, how to create an invoice, how to do taxes, how to create a business, how to create a sustainable lifestyle.
There is a reason why we weren’t taught those things, because when you learn these things and you see the other side of the wall…that is when you become incredibly dangerous and unstoppable.
Because it strips you of all the limiting self-beliefs you had, all the reasons why you think you can’t do something, the “shoulds”, the expectations.
How do I know this?
I’ve lived it.
So if I can do it, so can you.
It’s society’s conditioning of keeping you narrow minded. Don’t let them win.
Question it. Challenge it. If your mind knows there is a better way to live your life, listen to that voice.
Dream bigger. Think big. Then act small.
Ask yourself, what is one small thing I can do today that will move me towards the life I want to live?
Maybe it’s googling how to start a podcast, maybe it’s watching a youtube video on how to start an ecommerce business. Maybe it’s looking into someone’s who has done it or reading a book about it.
Take that first step.
I want you to stop talking yourself out of your dreams, your goals and your vision.
Stop making excuses and go do that one small thing.
What Are Your Limiting Self-Beliefs?
Pay attention how being narrow minded comes from not questioning reality and blindly adopting what society tells you to do. So question!
Who told you you can't build something on the side of your 9-5? (I did.)
Who told you you can never help people and find meaning in your work?
Who told you you can't write/draw for a living?
Who told you you will never make it?
Who told you you’re not experienced enough?
Who told you you’re too old to start?
Who told you you don’t know enough?
There is a time to take on feedback and there is a time to filter it out of your brain (especially when it is advice given by people who are on the sidelines). Be selective with who you listen to, what information and media you consume.
As Brene Brown said,
“If the critics aren’t in the arena with you fighting the battle, their words hold no merit. Acknowledge that fear and doubt will be there and go do whatever you want that you’ve been talking yourself out of doing.”
What you pay attention to is what your mind focuses on. So do a life audit on what information (media) you consume and the people you are with.
What I thought was impossible slowly became possible with time.
“The unknown becomes known with time” ‒ Unknown
I’m still in shock as to how much those limiting beliefs and my old mentality has held me back from countless opportunities throughout my life.
It wasn’t until I took small steps into building my website from the ground up and gained real life feedback of clients wanting to book me that I realized I CAN do this.
Bu the thing is you won’t foster this self-belief until you take action and start.
Let me break down the small steps I took at the beginning of my journey of starting Your millennial therapist:
Brainstorm business name
Created Logo
Look up domain name & availability
Compare across different platforms to buy a domain
Look up different places to create a DIY website
Compare different website makers and decide which one is the best for me
Look up custom email name
Embed scheduling
Learnt about the importance of Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and how it affects your website ranking on Google
Read books on selling, marketing, business, entrepreneurs, mindset shift
Register for Australian Business Number (ABN)
Register business name
Register as sole-trader/company
Learn to set aside money for tax so I don’t end up spending it
Learning that business expenses reduces your overall tax
Learning a different tax system (PAYGI, income tax & GST, Quarterly payments)
Once you get a glimpse of what it is like on the other side, you won’t want to go back. Because you know you deserve better, you self-belief grows.
It has everything to do with your mindset. It is essentially a perspective shift.
From a consumer to a creator.
From an employee to self-employed.
From a customer to a business.
You start to see things differently, you understand and appreciate the beauty, the effort and the work it takes behind the scenes.
You understand why people create, innovate, come up with solutions and ideas to change the world. Soon enough, just like them… you find yourself wanting to do the same.
The impact you have on others will bring you fulfilment.
The real life feedback you get from clients and them bursting with joy, telling you about their wins and showing up with their progress in mindset shifts.
The feeling of inner joy and satisfaction is indescribable…in a way that feels different to getting a pay rise or a promotion.
It’s impactful. It’s meaningful.
Contributing and changing someone’s life is phenomenal.
It fuels you.
It’s a mark I leave behind in life.
You can call it my legacy.
At that point, society cannot control you anymore, because you don’t want to or need to conform anymore.
I recently listened to Dan Koe’s podcast (this guys writes, creates for a living and have built so much that changed my life and many other entrepreneurs’ lives), he said,
“The people who make the most money and have the greatest impact in the world are creators, strategists, visionaries, leaders and innovators of the world. Because they CREATE solutions with their mind.” ‒ Dan Koe
“Earn with your mind. Not your time.” ‒ Naval Ravikant
The power of being able to earn with your mind means there is uncapped and unlimited potential of what you can earn. With time, your income is capped at 5pm and it relies on your (physical or digital) presence.
I might not be where I want to be right now in but I will get there. I will remain consistent with my work and one day I know I will get there.
As Morgan Housel says in his book, The Psychology of Money, “Time is the highest dividends that money pays”.
Time is something we can never get back.
Ask Yourself the Hard Questions
Think of it this way, if you are willing to give 30 years of your life to an employer, why can’t you take some of that time back for yourself to build your OWN empire?
Yes, you will have to make sacrifices. But that’s what makes it worth it. You can’t get what you want without putting in the work. You can’t have it all without sacrificing some leisure time.
Ultimately, you need to ask yourself “How badly do I want this? How badly do I want to have the freedom, autonomy and flexibility in my life?”
Then double down on it.
I know not everyone is willing to tolerate uncertainty, risk or want to fathom the thought of being self-employed or a business owner. I’m not bad mouthing employment in any way.
I just want you to know what IS possible on the other side. So you can remain open-minded to the infinite possibilities outside your perception and the world you live in.
“We can’t be what we can’t see” - A colleague told me about this the other day and I couldn’t agree more. The only way to start seeing possibilities is to immerse yourself in the things you are interested and curious in.
Expose yourself to that world, immerse yourself completely and see what you can gain.
The worst that can happen is you realize you don’t like it and it’s not for you. But the clarity you gain from it is priceless, then you won’t wonder what ifs down the road.
School Teaches Us to be A Component
I was listening to a podcast episode by Deep Dive with Ali Abddal on how to adopt an entrepreneur million-dollar mindset (with Daniel Priestley) talked about how school teaches us to be a component.
Zooming out of this, looking at it in a macro level, it’s because school was designed to keep us as workers, a clog in the machine, a component out of a larger system, a part of someone’s solution.
If you think back to what you learnt in school, it was in chunks, biology was separated from Chemistry and Physics when in reality they are interconnected. I remember feeling shocked in uni when certain subjects were all embedded into one and feeling scared that I did not take one of those subjects in high school.
The reality is school does a poor job at preparing us for life. Most of us are buying into the illusion of certainty and stability that jobs offer us. Because then we wont have to be accountable for the unknown.
You were punished for getting a bad grade.
You were taught to not question the teacher.
You were taught to think in a linear way.
You were taught to not work in teams on the same thing because that would be “cheating”, when in reality that is how businesses, projects and ideas are made.
The essentials to succeed in life relies on your ability to handle and tolerate failure and risk.
Without it, you will stay in your comfort zone and you will not grow.
“Taking no risk is one of the biggest risk in life” ‒ Unknown
What Is On The Other Side?
The flip side is yes you will have to rely on yourself, keep yourself accountable.
Yes, it’s hard, but let me tell you, I will do it again a thousand times because the self-belief, knowledge, wisdom I gained from it is priceless. I would have never become this version of myself without taking that leap of faith.
In the beginning, it felt illegal to not work 8 hours a day. I had all this free time to learn to manage and experiment my way through creating a schedule that works for me. Figuring out what times I am most productive in the day, allocating specific days for being creative, handle admin work, have client work.
Freedom and autonomy feels different when you taste it.
It’s a fair price to pay… to sacrifice “stability”, “security” and having “direct” external accountability.
Because in life, everything comes with a price…an entrance fee, whether its time or money.
Yes I know not all of us have that luxury and ability to take a risk. But don’t ever let that be the only reason stopping you from creation, from building something that is truly your own.
You have knowledge, experience and depth within you. You just need to access it and think of what you want or can offer. We all have a million dollar ideas in our heads, you just need the right tools and guidance to tease it out.
Entrepreneurs are essentially problem solvers, we look for problems in the market and solve it by building a solution.
On the other side, it is a 360 degree switch from what we have been told our entire lives.
It’s a different system to play.
Learn the system so you can play it rather than have it play you.
Here Are 4 WAYS School And Society Has Conditioned Us:
Stop waiting to be told what to do.
Stop waiting for permission to act.
Stop seeking for approval to start.
Stop being passive in your life.
Take initiative, take action, be bold, be brave, be courageous and see where that takes you.
If you don’t know what you want, start looking at what you don’t want.
If you know what you want, immerse yourself in that world and see what is one small thing you can do.
“People who don’t know what they want struggle the most with keeping themselves accountable.” ‒ Unknown
This is the perspective shift you need to get started.
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed this Newsletter. Enjoy the rest of your day.
If you enjoyed this newsletter, feel free to comment below to let me know :)
How I Can Help You When You Are Ready
If you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has affected you today and how it holds you back in achieving what you want in life, you can book a therapy session with me here.
Eunice Cheung, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eunice Cheung is a Psychotherapist. Moving between cities growing up made it difficult for her to fit in with peers which made her question her identity. Since studying Psychology in International Baccalaureate (IB) and in university, she has built her online practice to help others question their limiting self-beliefs and understand the roots of how our conditioning through culture, upbringing can hold us back in life. One of her main focus is on Asian Culture, along with Fear of Failure, Perfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, Relationships & Identity. Eunice is a passionate and ambitious therapist, her mission is to inspire the next generation of Asians to excel, innovate and rise up to their full potential.
