Learning To Love Your Life Before Transforming It
Erik Dmitriy Palatnik is a renowned psychotherapeutic coach and hypnotherapist specialising in inner child work. He helps individuals overcome challenges like low self-esteem, social anxiety and self-sabotage by addressing childhood traumas and shifting their mindset towards a fulfilling future.
Often, we seek to change our lives because there's something we hate about it. However, it's crucial to differentiate between running away from something we dislike and moving towards something we desire.
In the thought-provoking book "Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue" by Neale Donald Walsch, there's a profound idea that deeply resonates with me:
Before you set out to change your life or your reality, you must first learn to love it
This concept challenges the traditional approach to transformation, which often emphasizes fixing what is perceived as broken or inadequate. Why else would we want to change, right?
However, finding something that needs to be fixed, we should first “bless it”, as it reads in the book, before starting to change it. It's about owning and even loving our present situation, job position, body, partner, regardless of what we dislike them for.
Learning to love our lives as they are doesn't imply ignoring the areas that need improvement. In the opposite, I’d say that:
Whenever I label something as imperfect, this is my chance for evolution
So, it's about approaching change from a place of abundance rather than a scarcity mindset.
How do we learn to love the job that doesn’t fulfill us, our "ugly" or "wrong" body, our partner, we are miserable with?
It begins with mindfulness and self-reflection. We can own the so-called "imperfections" and then choose either to improve or to turn away from them, moving towards something we’d call a better fit.
The unfulfilling job was once a desired one, we have learned through it and now we have grown out of it, it’s time for something new. We can thank the universe for this opportunity. We can thank ourselves for feeling that discomfort pointing us exactly that this is an area of our life that could benefit from change.
A body can never be ugly or wrong. A body just is. The only thing our body really wants is health, and its healing power is amazing when we let it and support it by visualizing what we want instead of forsaking its appearance.
We can also love and accept our partners as they are without trying to change them. This does not mean that we agree with them. We can realize that we just are not a good fit and go our own way, letting them go theirs.
As you learn to love your life as it is, you'll naturally become more attuned to areas that could benefit from change. You will positively move towards something you consider as better. This is your personal evolution.
The idea from "Conversations with God" serves as a powerful reminder that before any change, we must first learn to love and appreciate that very thing we want to change.
Earlier, I mentioned that this idea deeply resonates with me as I went through a very life-changing body and social transformation.
One day I will write about that, too.
Erik Dmitriy Palatnik, Psychotherapeutic Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist
Erik Dmitriy Palatnik is a renowned psychotherapeutic coach and hypnotherapist specialising in inner child work. He helps individuals overcome challenges like low self-esteem, social anxiety and self-sabotage by addressing childhood traumas and shifting their mindset towards a fulfilling future. Erik's own journey intertwines gender and identity reformation, which gives him a deep understanding and empathy and helps him to create a safe space for personal growth. His mission to help individuals realise their inner potential resonates in a world seeking authentic connection and self-expression. With fluency in English, German, and Russian, he effortlessly connects with individuals from diverse backgrounds.
