Written by: Sarah Tricker Alchemy, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Women are damned if they do and damned if they don’t!
What is the first thing that comes into your thoughts as you read this statement? If you are a woman, there are many different things that may come to your mind. Sit with that for a moment! If you are male, what comes to your thoughts?
Our world has, and is always, changing. What was acceptable in society 100 years ago is not today. It was normalized back then and is ridiculed now. As a historian, you are asked when looking back at history not to judge it with your knowledge and eyes you look through today. This is easier said than done for many.
The patriarchal system is discussed in great detail as we watch the shift in power over the last few hundred years in white western societies. The most prominent group was that of The National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies, which was formed in 1897. However, they had begun in 1832 to petition for women to have a voice in parliament. Some of the key changes that came about were women having the right to vote, to own property, the right to legal representation, healthcare, and education.
The feminist movement over the years has a more negative connotation. Is this partly because women want equality and men are afraid to give up what they have held onto for many hundreds of years? Is it the distortion through media outlets creating the image of masculine lesbians who want to destroy men?
As a white woman, it is certainly true that I indeed have a privilege over women of color, and that angers me. There is a new phrase that is circulating now of ‘feminine privilege’! The premise of this being that women can get what they want in life by the power of the pussy. Pretty girls only have to flutter their eyelashes and marry rich men to get all they desire in their life that. It is women who control the reproduction of their family and hold men hostage, using their childbearing as a bribe to get what she wants.
The more ‘equality that women have, the more inequality we suffer. Many women may be triggered by this concept; however, before you scream and stop reading, hear me out. There is such a huge unrealistic expectation placed on the modern woman. Women who choose to be homemakers have given themselves up, women who focus on their careers who have children are uncaring mothers, women who choose not to have children well. They are not even women. For those women who try to have it all; the perfect family, the perfect home, the perfect career, the perfect body, the perfect children, nothing they do is ever good enough.
Women are damned if they do and damned if they don’t!
I think you may be beginning to see how emotionally charged this statement is. In all areas of her life, a woman has to make a choice. This choice is more often than not even a conscious decision. She can keep herself small as she is not good enough, or she can step into her power and risk being alienated or ridiculed. This shows up in the family, friendships, and the workplace.
Socially these things are saturated in the way we bring our little girls and boys up, to how women are treated in the workplace and the home—picture two children playing in the playground. The little boy is encouraged to take risks and push any limits he may believe he has. The little girl is told to be careful. That’s not very ladylike, and you might hurt yourself. The sexualization of girls starts even as babies. How many parents put their baby girls in cute little outfits with sayings like ‘dad says I’m not allowed to date’ and how he owns a gun. Now move into the corporate world. If women do break the glass ceiling, they sure as heck are not allowed to be feminine and have to take on the masculine energy to succeed.
For women, it doesn’t really matter the realm she steps into, as there is this unspoken choice that she has to make. With the removal of the feminine power in our world, the lack of honor of the feminine, and the rights of passage that were stripped from women, there has been a cascade of unexpected fallouts that have occurred.
Our earth became a commodity and has been stripped in the name of profit. Think back to hunters and gathers. The women were are the center of the community; they bore children, fed the family, clothed, and nurtured. They asked the men to gather food and wood for the fire. When there was enough, they told them to stop. With the removal of the feminine power, there was no one to say it is time to stop. We have enough.
With the shift to monotheism, the female was no longer honored. The life-giving and sacredness of woman was taken, and she became a slave to man. An object for the pleasure of man. In many countries, this is still true. In a western society with the feminist movement, there have been changes slowly. We still live in a culture where we teach girls how not to get raped. Don’t go out at night alone, don’t accept a drink from a stranger, park under a light in the street, walk to your car with a key in your hand, don’t walk down allies, don’t wear revealing clothes, and don’t go out alone. Who is teaching our men to respect women? Who is teaching our boys not to rape girls?
It is true women are now working in realms that were male-dominated for hundreds of years. For women to work in those realms, she has to give up her femininity. She cannot show emotion. She has to become a b***. Otherwise, no one will take her seriously. She has to let slip the derogatory remarks and hands that touch her inappropriately. Her want to be successful comes at a steep price for many women. Price men most often don’t have to pay.
It is important to point out a very important factor here—one which may have been overlooked for centuries. Women do not want to emasculate men and take their power from them. Women want to bring balance once again to our earth. Balance comes from both the feminine and the masculine energies working equally together. We are not here to take your place and enslave you as we have been. Women are the healers and the life bearers and want to be honored once again as such, heard, and understood.
Picture this if you will find a society where there is true equality. Where we are all humans no matter of gender; the color of skin, ethnicity, religious beliefs, eye color, height, weight, childbearing or not, and their sexuality; everyone can freely be who they want to be. No longer are women passed over for promotions because they ‘might’ have children, no longer are women frowned upon for being emotional and instead celebrated, no longer are women of color judged and are fully accepted.
Privilege is where the system is set up in favor of a particular group of people. Even as a white woman, I have privilege over my friends who are of color, and yet women still do not have the privilege of men. However, today I want to tell all women out there that It is okay for you to set high standards! It is time for us to step into our power and accept that we, too, are great and worthy of success.
I challenge all women to honor the other women in your life. Hold out your hand and lift other women when they are down. We need to stop placing unrealistic expectations on each other and instead support one another. We have more power together than against each other. It takes great strength to stand up against the system.
I challenge all men to honor women. Teach your sons to honor women. Empower women around you and watch how working together shifts the world you live in.
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Sarah Tricker Alchemy, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sarah Tricker Alchemy is a change-maker and has the ability to see what lies in the unseen and unexplained. After realizing her dream to become an educator, Sarah soon understood she herself was not fulfilling her life purpose. In 2016 she began the journey of entrepreneurship and had been forging her way to true authenticity. Sarah is a Public Speaker & Spiritual Empowerment Coach helping women who are in transition within their life. With her gift as a healer, she facilitates women in finding their authentic selves as well as their life purpose. Every moment is a miracle, and there is always opportunity even when you cannot see it.
