Is Life Not Going Your Way? – 3 Questions to Overcome Manifesting Blocks
With over 30 years of international executive and boardroom experience, she helps leaders design future-ready organizations by integrating business architecture, leadership, culture, and human intelligence into practical, sustainable transformation.
Recently, I presented a lecture at Nyenrode Business University, Circle Business Spirituality, in the Netherlands, about quantum reality, manifestation, and the new economy’s need for energetic embodiment in leadership. A brave woman in the audience asked a bold and vulnerable question: “Is it my fault when I’m unwell, or when life just doesn’t go the way I envisioned?” This question highlights a growing tension in the personal development space, particularly for high-performing individuals who are starting to explore consciousness, energy, and the mind-body connection. Let’s unpack the truth, without blame, without shame, and with deep love and clarity.
Responsibility vs fault: A vital distinction
Yes, your thoughts shape your reality.
Yes, your emotional state influences your body on a cellular level.
And yes, ultimately you are responsible for what you experience.
But that does not mean you’re to blame when life doesn’t match your vision.
There is a big difference between fault and responsibility. Fault implies judgment and shame. Responsibility implies power and ownership. It means you are the creator, not the victim, of your experience, even when your current circumstances feel challenging or misaligned.
Connecting with this truth on a deep level is where true freedom begins. You actually have the power to change reality.
Why manifestation doesn’t work (even when you are doing the work)
Many people apply manifestation tools, such as affirmations, vision boards, and visualizations, and still feel stuck. Why?
Because manifestation doesn’t respond to surface-level effort. It responds to frequency, to the energetic alignment and embodiment of the future you.
It requires a deep coherence between your conscious desires and your subconscious programs. And that coherence is often missing. It’s the coherence between your brain and your heart.
Even more crucial: manifestation unfolds according to universal laws, which cannot be bypassed by effort or willpower. These laws are neutral, exact, and precise. They don’t judge. They don’t delay or deny. They respond to who you are being and your matching beliefs, thoughts, and emotions, your energy, not just what you want. Because what you want might be the opposite of how your subconscious tries to keep you safe by not wanting it. Read that again!
If you are ready to learn more about the 11 components in the manifestation process and how you can create your shortcut, click here.
The willingness to become the frequency of what you seek
Here’s the deeper question underneath it all:
Are you truly ready to become the version of yourself who effortlessly lives the life you’re trying to create?
Often we say “yes” with our minds of course we want success, healing, love, freedom.
But deeper inside, there may be another layer – one that’s uncertain, fearful, attached to the familiar, or simply not ready to let go of what’s known.
And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is:
“No, I’m not ready yet. And that’s okay.”
There is no shame in that.
No guilt. No judgment.
Just honesty.
And from that honesty, transformation begins. Then you can start to uncover the hidden truths and the reason why what you want is not here yet.
3 powerful questions to ask yourself when you feel stuck
If you’re practicing manifestation but not seeing the results you long for, ask yourself these questions. They will unlock hidden gems if you choose to sit with them long enough. Don’t settle for the first answer that comes to mind.
1. Am I trying to get something I don’t believe I already have?
The quantum field mirrors identity, not desire. If you’re affirming abundance while secretly feeling lack, the field responds to the lack. Manifestation becomes magnetic when you shift into the state of already being, already having.
What are you currently thinking or discussing that you would no longer discuss or talk about once your desire is fulfilled? Take a closer look and start talking and thinking as if your desire is met.
2. What part of me benefits from staying where I am?
This question reveals unconscious loyalties, survival patterns, and emotional safety zones. Sometimes, we unconsciously protect ourselves from change because it threatens our identity, sense of belonging, or control.
It’s okay if you conclude that you would rather stay where you are now. It simply means that you can stop talking about what you want because you have made a conscious decision to be here and maintain this identity. This is fine, if you are 100% sure it is fine.
3. Am I willing to surrender control and trust something greater?
Manifestation isn’t about force. It’s about alignment. And alignment begins with surrender, trusting your higher mind, your heart, and the intelligence of the field that already knows who you truly are.
Do you have 100% faith in the manifestation process? Do you truly embody the fact that you and the quantum are one? That whatever you think is immediately noticed by a small particle in ‘the nothing, the field, the void, space, universe, source, whatever you name it’, starting to produce what is needed to bring your wish into reality? That your wish is created twice, in your mind and by a ladder of incidents, of which you do not have to bother about the how and when.
Final thoughts
You are not broken. You are not behind. You are not doing it wrong.
You are in process, a sacred, intelligent unfolding of consciousness.
And when you stop trying to “fix” yourself and start listening more deeply, you’ll find that everything you’ve been seeking is already within you.
And when you’re truly ready, being the life, health, love, and abundance, embodying this energy, all of it will rise to meet you. It must. It’s the law.
If you feel a deeper understanding of this material is required and you want to accelerate creating the results you are longing for, especially in your business, you can either read more articles in my Nuggets of Being on LinkedIn or, if you’d like to explore a collaboration, please schedule a connect call.
Read more from Elsbeth van Lienden
Elsbeth van Lienden, Founding Partner, The Indigo Elephant Advisory BV
With more than 30 years of international executive and boardroom experience, Elsbeth van Lienden advises CEOs, entrepreneurs, and leadership teams on designing organizations that thrive in an increasingly complex world. As Founding Partner of The Indigo Elephant BV, she integrates business architecture, leadership, culture, and human intelligence to create practical, sustainable transformation. She believes organizations are the foundation of the next evolution of society. By creating environments where everyone has equal opportunity to contribute through their unique talents—and where leadership is guided by collective intelligence, shared responsibility, and an awareness of our interconnectedness—businesses can become a force for lasting prosperity, innovation, and human progress.
