How To Release A Grudge
Updated: Oct 14, 2022
Written by: Chris Janssen, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Recently a bumper sticker caught my attention: Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Easier said than done, right?
Has holding a grudge threatened your contentment? If you’ve taken personality assessments, you know that some types have a tougher time forgetting and forgiving (example: a high ‘S’ on the DISC Assessment).
The great news? A personality assessment doesn’t have the final say about you. Whatever your wiring, you get to choose how you want to feel. You get to create the life you want. And as cliche as the bumper sticker sounds, you deserve peace.
Here’s an exercise to move you from troubled to tranquil:
Think of the person you grudge and the reason.
Notice the effect holding onto this grudge has on you. Write it down.
Ask yourself, Am I contributing to the continuation of the grudge? (Be honest.)
Aside from the situation, what good qualities does this person have?
Compare the good and troubling. Which outweighs the other?
How do you feel when focusing on the troublesome qualities? Is it possible you’ve exaggerated them?
How do you feel when you focus on the good qualities?
How would you rather feel, and which feel serves you best?
What will you choose to focus on to feel how you want to feel and move forward?
Write your new focus and place it where you can be reminded of it daily. If your focus veers back toward your resentment (question two), celebrate your awareness and shift to what serves you instead. Destroy your answer to question two and commit to letting go of the effects the grudge had on you.
The bottom line? You cannot control others or all life circumstances; however, you can control your response to them. Move toward what you want and can control. Shift your focus to what works instead of what hasn’t worked in the past. Ditch that old record of wrongs and start enjoying the life you want. You deserve it!
Read more on this topic and others in my new book Living All In: How to Show Up for the Life You Want, available in Fall 2022. Follow me on my socials below or visit Living All in —available now on Amazon for upcoming announcements.
© 2022 Chris Janssen. No part of this article may be reproduced online or in print without the author’s written permission.
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Chris Janssen, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Chris Janssen is a Board Certified Life Coach and Author of the book, Living All In: How to Show Up for the Life You Want. With an honest, strategic style she helps her clients master habits and skills to move toward and thrive in what they love. Chris excels in working with high performers and understands the character traits associated with driven achievers. As a trained Business Coach, Chris specializes in closing the gap between where a company or individual is and where they want to be. Chris partners with her clients to access their creativity and resourcefulness necessary to achieve the sustainable results they want. She cares deeply about her clients' careers, relationships, spirituality, wellness, health, patterns, and mindsets. Chris says her clients are experts at what they do and she is an expert at the psychology of what they do. Together they are unstoppable.
