How To Fire Your Tyrant Boss
- Brainz Magazine
- Mar 7, 2023
- 4 min read
Written by: Michelle Martin, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever worked for a "nothing is good enough" boss? If you have, you know the sinking feeling that comes from your exhaustive efforts falling into the bottomless pit of never being or doing enough.
The tyrant boss creates a demoralizing, demotivating, exhausting, damaging and energy-zapping environment. The thought of a boss like this, or worst yet ‒ your current boss is probably triggering some feelings right now.
You may be thinking, "You know my boss?" or "Been there, done that, never going back." And further, if someone you cared about worked for a boss like this, you would likely and unapologetically advise them to quit.
Here's an ironic twist: the "nothing is good enough" boss is you when you let imposter syndrome hijack your thoughts. The deeper beliefs you hold, potentially ones you are unaware of, feed the "you are not enough" tyrant boss. So whenever you deflect compliments, downplay your part in an achievement, deny your positive impact on others and tolerate the thoughts that you are not enough, I ask ‒ "how are you different from the tyrant boss?"
Psychology Today defines imposter syndrome as people who struggle to believe that they deserve their achievements and the high esteem others hold of them. When imposter syndrome hits, people feel they aren't as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, others will discover this fact.
It's a severe form of self-doubt.
Imposter Syndrome tends to impact those tethered to high standards of success and achievement as part of their identity or worth. Additionally, those different from their peers are more likely to experience Imposter Syndrome.
Here is a short list of how it can manifest, do any of these resonate? Procrastination, workaholic tendencies, negative self-talk, self-comparison, difficulties accepting praise, perfectionism and fixed mindset tendencies. If any of this list resonates, here is how to fire that tyrant boss, aka imposter syndrome.
3 Things to Start Doing
Acknowledge that it's happening to you and the thoughts that cause your confidence to waver. When this happens, reflect on these questions "How well are these thoughts serving me?", "How are these thoughts impacting the relationship with myself?" and "What is the exact opposite thought, and what would happen if I believed that?"
Accept compliments from others. You positively impact others, their thoughts, feelings and their lives. Next time you receive a compliment, get curious and ask, "What about the training did you find most useful?" Questions recruit your logical brain, which can help move your focus away from your feelings.
Get comfortable with your greatness and try one of these exercises!
Ask three people you trust: "What do you admire about me?". The answer will surprise you. This is an uncomfortable task for the hyper-independent, overachiever who suppresses feelings. Challenge yourself to do and then further believe what you hear.
Write out a list of achievements. I recently completed my list for a job interview and found that writing things out is incredibly powerful, more so than just thinking of the list. There was no denying my key achievements – I achieved great things – it was on paper, and I could see it, making it easier to believe.
3 Things to Stop!
Comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the place where happiness goes to die. What if the thing that makes you different is the exact reason why you are meant to be there?
Abandoning who you are to fit in. You, at your best, add more value to your work, family, and mental health.
Crediting your success to luck, networking, timing or anything else that isn't you as the contributing factor. Try this add-on to the achievements exercise; after you list your achievements, write out what it was about you that specifically added to the achievement.
Imposter syndrome is like a sinking ship – bailing water will never end unless you address the holes. You deserve mental health, self-belief and confidence. It's time to fire that tyrant boss so you can bring your full value as you are.
Michelle Martin is a former Executive-Level Leader of a Fortune 250 company turned Executive Coach and Consultant from Canada.
She is a self-made leader starting from the frontlines and making her way through several departments before ending her corporate career. She collected a plethora of business and leadership experiences along the way, including learning what it takes to evolve personally. Wanting to take her leadership skills to a higher caliber, Michelle trained as a professional coach with IPEC, the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching.
Michelle is exceptionally gifted in mentoring others through their self-leadership journey and building synergistic teams. Her experience in start-ups, acquisitions and an entire team rebuild has given her the arena to put concepts into action, fully immersing into the heart of leading through change.
Her mission is to champion each person's individualism, pulling out their strengths and talents while improving self-management as they move towards their North Star. She believes we can do meaningful work while having fun and living a balanced life.
Are you interested in taking your learning to a higher level? By partnering with a coach, you can deepen your self-belief and address the situations that hijack your confidence, building resilience and giving you the ability to shine as your best self.
Want to discover how Michelle can help you enhance your self-belief to improve your performance? Then, apply to book a Clarity Call at this link.
Michelle Martin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Michelle Martin is a self-made executive-level leader for a fortune 500 company turned professional Coach. Starting from nothing, not even a high-school diploma, she proves a successful business track record forged solely from personal growth. Her journey naturally led Michelle to the craft of core energy coaching. A coaching practice that starts at the core of the client, who they are and want to be. With a co-created path, clients learn to lean into their energy using their newfound power to achieve their personal and professional goals. Her Motto: Be courageous, ever-evolving and true to yourself.
