How to Deal With Trauma & Healing After FGM
Updated: Jan 16
Written by Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a survivor of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and a life coach who has experience when it comes to trauma that a survivor goes through and the journey it takes to heal. She helps women to reconnect and love themselves again. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching and "Women Empowerment edition: Impact for change" Podcast.
Have you ever felt alone, or wanted to isolate yourself from everyone? Do you feel disconnected from yourself because of the trauma? Do you feel you are not confident & have low self-esteem? Dealing with trauma after FGM can be very challenging and painful.
Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is a harmful practice that has affected millions of girls and women around the world. For those who have lived through it, FGM is not just an issue or a statistic, it is a deeply personal experience.
What is female gentile mutilation?
FGM is a procedure that involves the partial or total removal of the external female genitalia for non-medical reasons. FGM is often performed by traditional circumcisers or cutters who do not have any medical training. But in some countries, it may be done by a medical professional. Most of the time performed without anaesthetics or painkillers.
Types of FGM according to the World Health Organisation
Type one – Partial or total removal of the clitoral Glans (clitoris).
Type two – Removing part of the clitoris and labia
Type three – (infibulation) – narrowing the virginal opening by creating a seal, formed by cutting and repositioning the labia, leaving a small opening for urine or blood passage.
Type four – it involves other harmful procedures to the female genital, including piercing, cutting, scraping, or burning the area.
It was not your fault
Some survivors blame themselves for what happened to them. If you are one of them, know that it is not your fault. FGM is usually carried out in childhood, without consent, and within systems of power that deny girls control over their own bodies. If you are a survivor, it is important to know this clearly, what happened to you was not your fault. Responsibility lies with the practice itself, not with those who were subjected to it.
Acknowledging the impact
Survivors of FGM may experience a wide range of physical, emotional, and psychological effects. Physical impact can include chronic pain or discomfort, sometimes ongoing or recurring. Menstrual difficulties, including pain or irregular flow, Urinary or reproductive health issues, increased risk of infections, complications in childbirth, sexual health challenges, or trauma-related symptoms. Others may not experience ongoing physical symptoms but still carry emotional or cultural wounds. Every survivor’s experience is different, and all responses are valid.
Psychological impact
Trauma affects the mind as well as the body. Psychological responses may appear immediately or years later. Common emotional and mental health effects include:
Depression or feelings of sadness and hopelessness
Post-traumatic stress symptoms, such as flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories
Difficulty trusting others
Shame, guilt, or self-blame, even though the harm was not their fault
Low self-esteem or negative body image
Emotional numbness or disconnection
Difficulty with intimacy or relationships
Survivors may also struggle with silence, feeling unable to speak about what happened due to fear, stigma, or cultural pressure.
Social and Identity Impacts
Beyond physical and psychological effects, survivors may experience:
Isolation or feeling misunderstood
Pressure to remain silent
Conflict between personal healing and cultural expectations
Fear of judgment from healthcare providers or community members
These challenges can affect daily life, relationships, and a survivor’s sense of identity.
You are not alone
Across the world, survivors are speaking out, supporting one another, and leading efforts to end FGM. But no one speaks about how survivors suffer mentally, each survivor fighting a battle that no one knows but them. There are survivor-led organisations and support networks that provide safe spaces for sharing experiences, accessing healthcare, and finding community. Connecting with others who understand can be an important step toward healing.
Accessing care and support
Survivors have the right to respectful, confidential, and non-judgmental healthcare. This includes physical care and mental health support. Providing trauma-informed care, a care that listens, believes, and respects boundaries, can make a meaningful difference to a survivor. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it is an act of self-care and courage.
Reclaiming agency and identity
Healing is not only about treatment, but it is also about reclaiming control, voice, and identity. Some survivors choose to speak publicly, others privately, and some not at all. There is no “right” way to heal. Your choices, your pace, and your boundaries deserve respect.
An important reminder
Not all survivors experience trauma in the same way. Some may feel resilient and functional while still carrying invisible pain. Others may struggle deeply. There is no “right” way to respond to trauma.
What matters most is this
Survivors deserve to heal, be compassionate towards themselves, and have respectful care. Healing is possible, even if it takes time. Seeking support, medical, psychological, or community-based (coaching), can make a meaningful difference in your healing journey.
A message of hope
Being a survivor does not define your worth or your future. Strength, resilience, and dignity exist alongside pain. Support, healing, and justice are possible. Your life, body, and voice matter. Are you ready to start the journey of healing, Lets work together to help you to re-connect and love yourself again.
Read more from Howaida Abdalla
Howaida Abdalla, Life Coach
Howaida Abdalla is a life coach who helps women (survivors) of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) to reconnect & love themselves again. She was seven years old when the FGM procedure was done on her, which left her lost and disconnected not only from people, but also from herself.
She has since dedicated her life to help other survivors to reconnect and love themselves. She is a founder of "The Growth Hub Coaching" where she helps & coaches survivors. Her Mission: To hep, To inspire & To empower.
