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How To Become An Energetic Match To Your Dreams

Written by: Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


We don’t attract who we want, we attract who we are an energetic match to.

AKA an energetic match to a narcissist is an empath = trauma bonding = codependency = one can not exist without the other…

I remember feeling so disempowered and meek shortly after my divorce.

I worked so hard on rebuilding my self-esteem and confidence and growing into the person I am today.

I used to identify myself as shy, nice, empathic, emotional, sensitive, introverted… the list goes on and on.

I don't even know how I acquired all those labels but they became my identity and I was living my life in the ‘box’ of those definitions thinking that

THAT was who I am.

That box was my glass ceiling and it was limiting me from doing/being/having all of the amazing things in life I envisioned for myself.

This definition created my [limited] identity and the need to fit in the ‘box’.

Later I realized that who I am is an ever-evolving woman.

I can be all of those things or I can be none of them.

I can be who I consciously choose to be.

I released all of my 'labels' that I used to wear so proudly and THAT gave me the freedom to become who I am today.

I have consciously chosen new definitions that would support me on my ever-evolving journey of growth and evolution.

The new ‘labels’, or character traits, I chose INTENTIONALLY.

  • Powerful

  • Open

  • Vulnerable

  • Self-expressed

  • Free

  • Bold

  • Loving

  • Grateful

  • Abundant

  • Brilliant

  • Unique

  • Brave

I realized that nothing was ever carved in stone.

Everything is fluid.

My reality is fluid.

My identity is fluid.

It’s a holographic projection of my beliefs.

Every time you say “I am …..” what you put after that – you become.

We can choose to become different versions of ourselves at every moment.

We get to choose to be:

  • Free.

  • Alive.

  • Confident.

  • Self-expressed.

  • Self-loving.

  • Powerful.

  • Enlightened.

I smashed my own glass ceiling with my new definition:

Instead of ‘empathic’, I identify myself as kind,

Instead of ‘nice’ – authentic,

  • Instead of ‘emotional’ emotionally intelligent,

  • Instead of ‘shy’and ‘sensitive’ – powerful and bold,

  • Instead of ‘introverted' – intentional.

And that’s how we create our new identities that become an energetic match to our dreams.

Healing trauma, reprogramming belief systems, and changing how we see the world and ourselves is how we relate to our own self-image. A self-image that creates a new identity that is capable of more and is available for more.

And as I grow and become more, more opens up for me.

THAT is the calibration of energy and power.

Your power is in YOUR hands.

It’s your FREQUENCY.

Here’s the thing, there are many women out there living the lives you are

dreaming of.

They are rolling in the abundance of success, love, intimacy, connection, fulfillment everything!

Because they were brave enough to:

Take themselves out of their box, smash their own glass ceiling, interrupt their patterns, and walk through their fears.

They let go of codependency and self-neglect patterns and gave themselves permission to feel worthy of their dreams.

They are no different than you!

They just decided to go after their dreams.

They mastered their emotions, claimed their worthiness, and understood the science of love.

Literally, that’s it.


They live the life of success AND love. BOTH!

Not either-or. ​​

When blockers are cleared, the floodgates of abundance open up!

Money, men, and soulful relationships become available and are at your fingertips. ​​

P.S. My “Dream Girl Frequency” program will help you identify and heal your limitations and release ‘labels’ that are blocking you from living your dreams.

It will help you shed all the layers of conditioning of your old identity that is still carrying the scarcity and fear mindset in your DNA.

It will allow you to feel safe when feeling unconditional love and consequently attract love and abundance to YOU.

Cheers to your happiness!

If you want to have success, Every. Single. Time in your dating experience without relying on ‘luck’ or ‘chance’, connect with me at my LinkedIn, Facebook Profile and connect with me on Instagram or visit my website. I look forward to sharing my zone of genius with you!

Read more from Oksana!


Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Oksana Irwin is a Certified Mars – Venus Life and Relationship Coach, trained by the legendary John Gray. She is on a continuing mission to change the world one love story at a time!

Oksana is a leader in the dating and relationship coaching field. She equips her clients with powerful behaviors, winning mindsets, and gender intelligence knowledge that empowers them to unleash their mental and emotional constraints and achieve their very best in love, life, and career.

Within 3 years of sadly losing both her long-term marriage and role in a thriving family business, Oksana has created a new loving, passionate relationship and built a successful coaching business. She turned her pain into passion, passion into purpose, and purpose into profit by helping many women along the way.

She impacts her clients by unlocking access to feminine power, lowering stress, and skyrocketing confidence. Her clients learn effective and powerful gender dynamics, sufficient hormonal balance, and potent attraction and polarity techniques that produce outstanding results in creating loving and lasting passionate relationships and thriving successful and fulfilling lives.


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