How The Language We Use To Describe Ourselves And Others Can Really Shape Our Reality
Written by: Sruti Kanabar, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We sometimes think oh this is just a small negative comment that I have made about my appearance, or it’s ok to say that someone always behaves in the same way when we feel angry.
This may meet our human need for certainty though we meet it in an unskillful way and limit our desire to explore life along the way. Whether you are a coach, author or speaker we know how important it is to be aware of our own viewpoint of life so we do not lead our clients away from their inner guidance. However, how often do we use our past viewpoints to talk us out of pursuing our dreams? We naively say:
‘This seems beyond my grasp now!’ ‘Yeah right do you remember what happened last time!’ By saying such things we think we are stating our present reality or harmlessly proclaiming a past state of events to a loved one or bystander but to our mind we are saying that these instances are concrete pieces of evidence to why we should not take action into the unknown. The mind then takes this command and ferociously brings to us more evidence to support the belief that: what we desire is impossible and then the default routine continues into the next day. If we are mindful during the frustration of living the same day again we realise that we have become trapped by the conditioning of ‘making things’ happen rather than letting things happen from a place of inner alignment. For me I have realised that the best strategy for my life and business is to focus on my inner alignment so profusely that the guidance comes from within and shows me the undeniable next step towards what I truly desire. This has been a scary change for me because I used to go into my head a lot to try and figure out what the next 10 steps would be ahead of time, making me feel anxious and then step back into a state of shame. I had continued this habit for so many years thinking that this was a normal way of living as I would attract others into my reality who would believe the same.
Let's face it we can all see destructive behaviors everywhere we go and although we are on a journey of healing and enlightenment, the suffering comes when we start to make an identity from these habits which then stops us from taking the next intuitive step.
The next intuitive step to a more, healthier and happier version of ourselves.
This identity formation leads us to talk in absolute terms and the cycle continues of lack, relying on others to fill the void we feel, numbing our darker emotions and not living our potential.
Here’s a poem I have written to illustrate the above topic:
Talking in absolutes means loving in absolutes...
I realise when I talk in absolutes, it reduces my capacity for uncertainty! Yes it feels so good to say ‒ They always react in this way
However, it cuts off the umbilical cord of understanding which promotes nourishment to my life’s purpose which is always expanding. What if there was another way?
What if we healed the parts of ourselves which are showing us that there is a void within? Then we wouldn’t look outside for others to bring what can be cultivated within
We would love ourselves more abundantly and give more freely.
As whoever is meant to be in our lives is taken care of by our capacity to let go and surrender deeply
What came up for you?
Sruti Kanabar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sruti Kanabar is a distinguished Life and Small Business Coach. During her journey with Depression and Anxiety, she has found her purpose in helping women accept that they are good enough to live the life and build the business they want. She transforms women by increasing their shame resilience, helping them heal from minor and major traumas from the past, and connecting to a great purpose in life. When setbacks, obstacles, and failures come, they are seen as a beautiful part of the journey than being internalized. She empowers women through wisdom and knowledge nuggets from multiple faiths and disciplines to get the right solution to their challenges in life.
