Giving Voice to the Unheard and Leading Person-Centred Counselling in Hoarding
Written by Lushea Taylor, Person-Centred Counsellor
Lushea is the Co-founder of Lushea Counselling Care Therapy. Lushea specialises and is passionate about supporting and breaking down various mental health barriers that individuals face when it comes to hoarding, so they can reach their potential self.
The moment NM stated, “My son said when she’s gone, just chuck all of her stuff away,” was the moment I became a person-centred counselor. The client’s emotional blanket of once feeling safe and secure for years was no longer the case. Shattered hopes and physical tears of release evaporated into a pocket tissue within 5 minutes. The concerns about her belongings when she would pass and feeling misunderstood opened up further questions of self-worth and loss.
It was important to explore what the possessions meant to her and the feelings arising from overhearing phone conversations from her son. Many might assume the client hoards because of trauma or loss, but through an open-minded perspective, the client is always the expert of their own experience. I am a counsellor, not someone who diagnoses. As a professional, it is important to lead as one.
It’s about exploring the meanings rather than directing or dictating what I think the client should feel or do. This is where many counsellors can go wrong, which can be frustrating to hear. Belongings can have personal memories, physical value, and emotional meaning all in the same boat, but it’s important to allow the voice of the unheard to be heard to establish trust, support the client’s autonomy, and respect the client’s experience, so natural emotions can flow without judgement.
This client had one experience before seeing me and informed me that the safety of the home was the only focus. The free sessions were given through a referral from a GP, but she walked away adding it to her mental health support list of “places I went for help,” like a shopping list for Primark.
Now, can you imagine a client, if you’re a counsellor, or a dear friend arriving for counselling after years of feeling judged by others because of their possessions? A reminder for those wearing the professional title, leadership in counselling does not look like dictating, directing, or telling someone what to do. In person-centred counselling, leadership can be expressed through the therapeutic relationship and the way we influence the culture of care.
In this article, I shall be sharing my views as a person-centred counsellor who is passionate about hoarding and hoarding practice through compassion, autonomy, collaboration, and reflective leadership.
Before the clutter, there is a person
If our first response is to see the possessions as the problem, we may miss the person who is trying to tell us what those possessions mean. Letting things go, whether they are specific memories, physical objects, or routines linked to an experience, can be difficult.
The number of possessions that can contribute to how a home condition looks can overlook what the individual is emotionally going through and/or suppressing without saying. Meanwhile, shame, embarrassment, and fear can make it difficult for the individual to open up.
Myself, as a person-centred counsellor, would seek to understand the client’s subjective experience rather than assume one explanation for their behaviour. Through empathy, unconditional positive regard, and genuine listening, I explore what the possessions mean to the individual and what they want for themselves.
That is why, if we as professionals look beyond the visual situation and seek the person, maybe hoarding support within mental health could be advertised even more to many communities without hesitation from potential clients.
Leading with compassion, not interrogation
Leading with connection does not mean there has to be an absence of change. Leading with empathy, congruence, and positive regard does not mean there has to be an absence of change. Sometimes professionals, depending on what roles the individuals are in, can forget this.
A counsellor’s approach will always be different compared to the neighbour next door or a family’s approach. For me, as a person-centred counsellor, I have the belief that the client is more than the difficulty they are experiencing.
Hoarding may have been a different barrier that they have struggled with, but it does not define who the individual is. Hoarding can come to anyone, at any age, at any time.
For example, a woman named Mary, aged 40, could be the politest florist in the town and well known for her efforts, but behind closed doors, she struggles with discarding shoes and has a loyal membership with Shein. My role is to offer a therapeutic relationship in which the person can begin to explore their experiences without feeling reduced to their possessions.
A previous comment from a client who completed talking therapy for a past hoarding experience once told me she was told, “You need to clear this.” Immediately, where is the collaboration? Immediately, the client is directed to do something for the counsellor, it seems. Leading with dictating.
“What would you like to change?” would be more appropriate, especially in such sensitive matters. A person-centred approach does not mean ignoring serious risks. I can acknowledge that safeguarding, housing concerns, and other practical issues may require collaboration with relevant professionals.
However, leadership is ensuring that the client remains involved and treated with dignity wherever possible. The person-centred approach to respectful change for the individual can be effective through conversations as well as direct work, but the key question is through what style and approach.
I have begun a pattern of reflecting, from being trained as a person-centered counselor. I reflect daily in my personal life and as a counsellor on humility, accountability, and where my emotional awareness lies. Not to mention, I have a supervisor who helps a lot.
This is why I have concluded that leadership includes knowing when to seek support and when to collaborate. I have learned through working with many clients from various cultural backgrounds who suffer from hoarding, and through consultation telephone calls, that the principles of empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard can become blurred if the professional does not allow the client to be heard away from their hoarding possessions.
It leaves more disappointment, emotional pain, and feelings of being imprisoned within the world. The genuine curiosity in attempting to help can be shut down by a professional counsellor who does not allow the client to have a voice but focuses on fixing the issues practically.
This is why it is important that counsellors influence practice through listening, reflection, collaboration, and respect for lived experience.
Read more from Lushea Taylor
Lushea Taylor, Person-Centred Counsellor
Lushea is a Person-Centred Counsellor who drives passion into supporting awareness and the life journeys of those who suffer with hoarding. Before Lushea ever trained as a counsellor, she was a client herself, working through the painful impact of growing up in a home surrounded by severe clutter that was not caused by herself. That experience shaped her deeply. Therapy became a turning point in her life, helping her face, understand, and heal from those difficult chapters of experiencing what someone else was going through but having it placed around her. Having trained and studied in the psychology and counselling field, Lushea continues to advocate for greater understanding of hoarding behaviours and the importance of accessible Person-Centred Therapy (PCT) support.
