Give Yourself a Break: How to Practice Self-Compassion

More than ever, especially with Australia’s mental health crisis, it’s important to remember to take a break and practice self-compassion. It is far too easy to get lost in everyday life and be too hard on yourself.

The National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing report outlined that the state of mental health in the country is dire. Statistics show that 42.9% of people aged 16-85 years have experienced a mental disorder at some time in their lives.

With mental health being a key component of physical health and overall well-being, it’s essential to learn skills like self-compassion. Studies have found that self-compassion is positively correlated with better emotional well-being.

If you find yourself struggling with mental health issues, it’s worth practising self-compassion. It’s also important to reach out to a mental health professional, like a counsellor or a registered psychologist with the requisite Graduate Diploma of Psychology.

What is self-compassion?

Before delving into the term self-compassion, it’s important to understand what ‘compassion’ means. Compassion refers to the ability to recognise feelings of distress and suffering in others, care deeply about them and have a desire to alleviate them.

When discussing self-compassion, this particular attitude and mindset are directed internally towards ourselves. Self-compassion consists of directing kindness and care to ourselves and focusing our attention and energy on how we might alleviate our own pain/distress.

Why is it important?

Practising self-compassion is crucial for our mental health and overall well-being, bringing a range of benefits. In particular, the skill is important on a physiological level for self-soothing, which can help with calming the nervous system.

Self-soothing is a popular technique employed in forms of behavioural therapy for managing and regulating one’s emotions. In particular, self-compassion can be a form of self-soothing that helps reduce negative feelings, like stress and anxiety.

Studies have also found that self-compassion leads to higher life satisfaction. This is because when you’re spending time practising self-compassion, you have less time to be self-critical, and you’re more accepting of your flaws.

Other studied benefits of self-compassion include:

• Improved self-esteem

• More fulfilling relationships

• Increased motivation to take risks

• Reduced risk of mental health disorders

Why it can be hard to be self-compassionate

While being able to respond kindly to yourself in moments of need is important, it’s not always possible. It’s common for people to find being self-compassionate hard for a myriad of reasons.

American statistics also suggest people are becoming less compassionate, including for self-compassion. Various factors could contribute to this, but it does reinforce the idea that being self-compassionate is hard. 

Several barriers could stop a person from practising self-compassion or even having the skill entirely. These include:

• Not being taught or shown self-compassion when growing up during early formative years. Never seeing self-compassion from a guardian, like a parent, can make it difficult to apply it to yourself later in life.

• Because of the existing stigmas around mental health, sometimes negative beliefs about self-care, like self-compassion, can be a barrier. It’s common for people to see self-compassion as being self-indulgent or self-pitying.

• Low self-esteem and mental health disorders can also affect the ability to be self-compassionate. For someone who already has a negative perception of themselves, it can be difficult to practice self-kindness and care.

  
  

Tips for practising self-compassion

There are many ways and strategies you can undertake to learn and develop self-compassion. Beyond working with a mental health professional, we’ve listed a few steps you can practice at home to cultivate self-compassion.

Practice self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the ability to embrace and love all your strengths and flaws. Accepting yourself completely and all of your personality traits as you are can help when it comes to practising self-compassion and being easy on yourself when you make a mistake or are in a stressful situation.

Treat yourself like you would a friend 

If you’re having trouble showing yourself kindness, viewing the situation in a new light, like imagining how you’d show compassion to a friend going through the same hardship, can help with practising self-compassion.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness, the ability to be present and fully aware of your current experiences, feelings and thoughts, can help grow your self-compassion skills. It can help self-insight, which is important for self-compassion, and reduce stress.

Remind yourself of your common humanity

When it comes to self-compassion, reminding yourself of your common humanity is crucial. Take time whenever something negative happens that everyone makes mistakes and has tough times—it’s a normal, shared part of being human.

Challenge your inner critic

The adage ‘you are your own worst critic’ is true. When you hear that critical voice in your head, take the time to gently remind yourself that it’s not true and try to recontextualise your thoughts in a positive light.

Make time for self-compassion breaks

Making time for yourself throughout the day is important for self-compassion. Schedule a time every day to pause whatever you’re doing and show yourself kindness and appreciation through a caring act, like making your favourite drink or food.

Take the time to express gratitude

Whether it’s the moment you first wake up in the day or before you go to sleep at night, take the time to express gratitude. Acknowledge and appreciate all the good things going on in your life. This can help you become more compassionate towards yourself in times of need. 

Self-compassion is usually learned in childhood from a guardian or role model. Not everyone, however, is fortunate enough to learn these skills from a positive influence during their formative years.

Thankfully, it’s possible to build self-compassion later in life. Many mental health professionals, like therapists and psychologists, work with clients to help build self-compassion and related skills, like self-awareness and acceptance.

If you’re struggling with self-criticism or low self-esteem, we recommend reaching out to a mental health professional. They can provide direct support, offer personalised advice, and help you understand the cause of your negative thoughts.

There are also so many online mental health platforms that offer self-help resources. For example, the Centre for Clinical Interventions is a government-run department that provides free self-help resources, including workbooks and information sheets on self-compassion.