From Humanitarian Work To Healing Hearts – Exclusive Interview With Lara El Ghaoui
- Nov 3, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 4, 2023
Lara El Ghaoui worked for 14 years in the humanitarian sector helping people affected by disasters in Africa, Asia, and the Middle East. She always wanted to be a therapist but was never encouraged to follow her heart, given the stigma associated with mental health. She was a client herself twice and knows how transformational therapy can be. Lara kept longing for a path that aligned with her true self until she finally answered the calling she had buried for years and became a person-centred therapist. She now owns the private practice ‘Route To Self’ in North Wales and helps people reconnect with their authentic self. She offers online, in-person, and Walk & Talk sessions outdoors, to harness the healing power of nature.
Lara El Ghaoui, Counsellor and Psychotherapist
Can you tell me more about your journey from working in the humanitarian sector to becoming a person-centred therapist? What inspired this transition?
Working in the humanitarian sector was one of the most rewarding things I’ve done. I travelled around the world and met people from strikingly different cultures and walks of life. When you’re exposed to all this diversity, something in you expands. You realise that your reality is just one of many and that there isn’t always a right or wrong way of doing things. Just a different way. This has pushed me to be even more interested in humans. It also happened that I clashed with the bureaucracy of the humanitarian aid system, and this was when I started to seriously consider a change. I just longed for a deeper connection with people where I could experience the transformational power of relationships. Coming to think of it, I was always fascinated by the human condition. At the age of 15, I was already unpacking every emotion I felt to understand what it was. Despite all the inadequacies I felt in my body and personality as a teenager, I was never threatened by my emotional world. I always looked for ways to embrace and understand it. I think being a therapist satisfies this natural curiosity within me.
What specific experiences or moments motivated you to pursue a career in therapy, especially given the stigma associated with mental health that you mentioned?
Looking back, I think two pivotal moments motivated that change. The first was when I did my own therapy years ago. I did it under the radar, in and out of my therapist’s office twice a week, over 2 years. After that, I couldn’t unsee what I’ve seen or unlearn what I’ve learned. All I was left with was a deep transformation within myself which gave me a way forward in my life. The second moment was when I did a 24-hour hike in Scotland to raise funds for mental health. When I first saw the ad on social media, I was immediately drawn to it. I couldn’t possibly tell you what encouraged me to commit and sign up for this challenge, but it just felt right. It took months of training to prepare myself mentally and physically for it. The amount of support I got was overwhelming and hugely encouraging. For the first time ever, I felt like I was truly making a difference not just by raising money, but also by raising awareness to destigmatise mental health. Exactly a year later, I was taking my first class in counselling skills.
Could you share some insights into the services you offer at "Route To Self"? What is your approach to helping people reconnect with their authentic selves?
I offer online and in-person sessions either as Walk and Talk sessions in nature or as face-to-face in my practice. At Route To Self, I help my clients reconnect with the roots of their selves. Most if not all of us experience a separation from our real authentic self when society imposes on us ways of being and doing that go against our true nature. When we force ourselves to be somebody we’re not or when we do something we don’t want to do, we feel conflicted. And over time, the fear of being ourselves becomes bigger and bigger. My key responsibility is to build an authentic connection with my clients where they feel safe to be fully themselves. When clients experience what it’s like to not be criticised, shamed, or rejected, their true self emerges.
What are the key principles or values that guide your private practice, and how do they influence the way you work with your clients?
There are basic ethical principles all therapists must abide by such as confidentiality and avoiding harm to the clients. Beyond these obvious minimum standards, 3 key principles are particularly important to me.
First, integrity. I strive to be fully myself in everything I say or do. This means going beyond the layers of politeness and diplomacy and truly expressing what’s going on within me. If I expect my clients to connect with and express their authentic selves, then I must also honour my authentic self when I’m with them. So I don’t shy away from expressing my feelings to clients, especially feelings arising in the here and now.
Second, beneficence. This means that I do everything I can to make sure my clients’ wellbeing always comes first. Clients pay money, time, and energy to trust me with the most vulnerable parts of themselves. I take this very seriously and I believe I have a moral obligation to honour their story and be the best therapist I can be for them.
Third, flexibility. Every client is a unique being which means that every session is also unique. As a person-centred therapist, I don’t follow a particular structure or technique. The only tool I have is myself and the relationship I build with the client. The session can go in any direction, and I must be prepared to follow the client’s lead. Flexibility also means accepting that sometimes I could be wrong about something. It could be that I misunderstood the client, or I chose the wrong way of approaching a certain issue. I must always embrace my imperfections and be open to admitting my shortfalls and learning from them.
Tell us about your greatest career achievement so far.
This is funny because I don’t believe in career achievements anymore. Or at least not in the way society presents them. I spent years working hard to jump to the next level, pursuing bigger jobs, bigger titles, bigger salaries… And I succeeded. I worked as an assistant, officer, manager, director, you name it. Eventually, I realised that I was missing the point. What really mattered to me was doing something that was aligned with who I am. Our essence doesn’t care about titles or achievements but about doing something meaningful and true to itself. I’d say my biggest achievement is realising that after climbing the ladder of success for years, it was time for me to climb back down and re-evaluate my purpose.
If you could change one thing about your industry, what would it be and why?
The de-medicalisation of mental health. Every year, millions of people are issued prescriptions to help their mental health. The worry is when prescriptions happen in a vacuum, simply to alleviate symptoms without addressing the root causes of the problem. Many clients talk about how medication numbs their feelings, both the positive and the negative. The language we use also has a significant impact. I personally don’t support the blanket use of terms like disorder, patient, or illness when we talk about mental health, not because of what they mean, but because of how society perceives people with a diagnosis. A diagnosis can lead people to feel boxed, judged, and labelled. And sometimes, it deprives them (and their loved ones) of seeing the beauty of the person behind their depression, anxiety, or ADHD. Of course, this is not always the case and sometimes, a diagnosis can help people understand what’s happening in their world and facilitate their access to services. But that should be the exception, not the norm. It is important to recognise that people are much more than their diagnosis and a pill is certainly not the best answer for a satisfying and fulfilling life.
Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today.
The COVID-19 pandemic was a time of personal change and transformation. When life around me slowed down, I felt that I finally had the space to imagine my future. Something within me was preparing for change only I didn’t know what it looked like. I decided to jot down all my wishes on a ‘dream board’ (which I still have). I hung a few postcards I collected from my travels, and I followed a deep self-reflective process in which I identified my interests and values. I remember writing keywords and sentences that resonated with me. In addition, I was also running by the canal near my house at least 4 times a week which helped de-cluttering my mind. Besides that, I started meditating for 45 minutes every day for about 3 months. I still don’t know how or when it all happened, but I remember one day realising: ‘I know exactly what I want, what I need to do, and where I need to be.’ I suppose that when the mind quiets down, we give space to our essence to rise to the surface. And this is when the truth, our truth, speaks out.
