From Cave to Crown – A Letter and a Playbook for the In-Between
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 5
- 5 min read
Lukasz Kalinowski is an executive coach, mentor, and keynote speaker who helps leaders break barriers and achieve lasting impact. Combining strategic insight with transformational coaching, he empowers executives to lead authentically and drive meaningful change.
When growth feels like exile, the quiet seasons of waiting can seem like a step backward. From Cave to Crown offers a grounded playbook for leaders in the “in-between”. The hidden apprenticeship where identity is proven, resilience is shaped, and character becomes worthy of the crown. This is guidance for those who choose purpose long before the world applauds.
For context, David’s caves are the long years between his anointing and the crown, when he was pursued and in hiding. They were not exile. They were apprentices.
When the wait feels like a demotion
Dear leader in the caves,
You did the brave thing. You chose a larger self before your world agreed with you. You wrote the line. You started living it. Now the phone is quiet. The inbox does not care.
Someone else got the title you trained for. You are mending old processes with new thread, and the cloth keeps tearing in your hands.
It feels like a demotion. It is not.
Ask David. The day after the valley he did not get a throne. What he got was pursuit. Hungry men. Tired feet. A cave that smelt of damp wool and fear. He learned what all real leaders learn. Identity is declared in a moment. It is proved in weather.
Here is what to do while you wait for the weather to change.
Write a short rule of life
First, write a short rule of life. Nothing fancy. Three lines you can keep. The hours you work. The recovery you protect. The non-negotiables you honour. Put it where you see it. When the day bends you out of shape, this pulls you upright again.
Keep a hardship ledger
Second, keep a hardship ledger. Not a diary. A ledger. When friction hits, write three lines. What happened. What I did that matched my identity. What I will try next. Do it in ten minutes while the feeling is still warm. Review on Friday. You are turning pain into curriculum.
Build a small, visible scoreboard
Third, build a small scoreboard in plain view. Track inputs you control and signals that matter. Calls made. Conversations with customers. One deep work block each day. Commitments kept on time. Decision speed from issue to decision. A three-question pulse each Friday on energy, clarity, and workload. If it does not drive a decision, drop it. The scoreboard is not for show. It is for steering.
Practise gratitude
Fourth, practise gratitude that is specific. Three lines a day. Names. Moments. Helps. The small good is ballast when the wind is up. This is not pretending all is fine. It is reminding your nervous system that you are held by more than the loud problem.
Rehearse your pressure moments
Fifth, rehearse your pressure moments. Choose the two shocks that visit you most. A client escalates. A key person leaves. A budget is cut. Decide now what you will do, say, and check in the first ten minutes. Under real pressure you fall to your training. Train.
Draw a bright ethical line
Sixth, set one ethical line you will not cross to get there faster. Write it. Tell a witness. Keep it when the shortcut sparkles. David had Saul within reach twice. He waited. In every career there is a moment when force would work. Do not trade your soul for schedule.
Publish clean handshakes
Seventh, publish clean handshakes. End meetings with who, what, and by when. Send a two-line recap. Close loops in public. Reliability becomes your brand long before the title arrives.
Keep creators’ hours
Eighth, keep creators’ hours. One meeting-free hour each day. Make something that moves the work. A draft. A design. A decision. The caves are full of busyness that leaves no fingerprints. Put your fingerprints on the week.
Appoint a witness
Ninth, appoint a witness. One person who will tell you the truth. Share your identity line and your scoreboard. Ask them to mark drift, not only failure. Pay them with your gratitude and your honesty. Solitude makes good people strange. Witnesses keep us human.
Celebrate boring consistency
Tenth, celebrate boring consistency. When the new rhythm holds, resist the itch to tinker. The crown sits on habits, not hype.
Two cliffs to avoid
You will be tempted by two cliffs. The first is speed. You will want to take the crown by force. Do not. Trust given late is trust that lasts. The second is drift. When praise comes, you will forget what made you steady. Do not. Return to your sentence. Return to your rule of life. Return to the ledger. That is how you stay you.
Signs you are graduating
What will tell you, you are graduating. People will bring you quiet, sensitive problems. Meetings will end on time with clear promises. Decision speed will improve without you raising your voice. The room will breathe easier when you walk in. Your scoreboard will stay green without heroics. You will notice that you are tired and at peace.
Write your own psalms
While you wait, write your own psalms. Not poetry unless you like poetry. Just field notes. Put fear and faith on the same page until one of them looks small. You are not the first person to learn to sing underground.
One last story
One last story. A regional leader I worked with stepped into a bigger remit with no announcement. On paper nothing changed. In reality, everything did. He wrote his rule on a card and taped it to a dull filing cabinet. He began each day with the three lines. He kept a ledger. He counted decisions, not meetings. After two months the gossip changed. People said he seems calm, which is a strange way of saying he knows who he is. The title arrived six months later. By then he had become the person the title expected.
Close: From Cave to Crown
If you want the story that sits behind this letter, read Part 1. If you are ready, keep walking. The cave is not your address. It is your apprenticeship.
New to the idea and want the story. Read Identity Wins Before The Fight.
Read more from Lukasz Kalinowski
Lukasz Kalinowski, Executive Coach, Mentor & Keynote Speaker
Lukasz Kalinowski is an executive coach, mentor, and keynote speaker specialising in leadership transformation, resilience, and strategic growth. With a background in business management and coaching, he helps leaders break through limitations, navigate challenges, and achieve lasting success. Drawing from years of experience in high-stakes leadership roles, he empowers executives to lead with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. Passionate about resilience and personal development, Lukasz shares insights on overcoming adversity and unlocking true potential. Connect with him for more expert content and coaching.
