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Five Legal Manipulation Tactics Employed By Narcissists During Divorce

  • Oct 30, 2023
  • 3 min read

Updated: Jun 4, 2024

Written by: Debra Whitson, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Executive Contributor Debra Whitson

Divorce is never an easy process, and it often brings out the worst in people. When one party in a divorce is a narcissist, the situation can become even more complex and challenging. Narcissists are known for their manipulative tendencies, which can extend into the legal arena during divorce proceedings. In this article, we will explore five legal manipulation tactics that narcissists frequently employ during divorce, shedding light on their disruptive impact and offering advice on how to counter these tactics. As a family law firm in New York, we have extensive experience dealing with such cases and are well-versed in strategies to protect our clients from these manipulation tactics.

Person holding gold wedding ring

1. Playing the victim

Narcissists excel at playing the victim, painting themselves as innocent and wronged parties. They may exaggerate or fabricate claims of abuse, neglect, or unfair treatment to gain sympathy and influence the court's perception. To counteract this tactic, it's crucial to maintain a detailed record of your actions and interactions with your spouse, backed by evidence and witnesses whenever possible. Documenting incidents can help in disproving false claims and establishing your credibility.


2. Delaying tactics

Narcissists are experts at dragging out legal proceedings to exhaust their adversaries emotionally and financially. They may file numerous motions, request endless continuances, or engage in other delay tactics. It is essential to have a proactive attorney who can push the case forward, minimize delays, and help you maintain your emotional and financial stability during the divorce process.


3. False accusations

Narcissists may make unfounded allegations against their spouses, such as drug abuse, child endangerment, or financial impropriety. These false accusations are intended to damage their spouse's reputation and gain a legal advantage. To address this tactic, it is crucial to have a skilled attorney who can challenge these allegations with evidence and counterclaims if necessary.


4. Financial manipulation

Narcissists often attempt to hide assets, inflate debts, or manipulate financial records to minimize their financial obligations during the divorce. A comprehensive financial investigation is crucial in uncovering hidden assets and ensuring a fair distribution of marital property. A forensic accountant may be necessary to examine financial records thoroughly.


5. Child custody manipulation

Child custody battles can become a central focus during a divorce involving a narcissist. They may attempt to use their children as pawns, seeking to gain control or exert emotional pressure. It is vital to maintain detailed records of your involvement with your children, as well as any instances of manipulation by the narcissistic spouse. A skilled family attorney can advocate for the best interests of the children while protecting your parental rights.


Divorcing a narcissist is a unique and challenging experience that can have a significant emotional and financial impact. These individuals employ manipulation tactics in the legal arena to gain an upper hand. It is crucial to recognize these tactics and work with an experienced family law firm to navigate this complex situation successfully.


At our family law firm in New York, we understand the complexities of divorce cases involving narcissistic individuals. Our team of skilled attorneys is dedicated to protecting our clients and their rights throughout the process. By being prepared, documenting actions and interactions, and having expert legal representation, you can counteract the manipulation tactics employed by narcissists and achieve a fair resolution to your divorce case.


For more tips like these, be sure to check out the blogs on our website or give us a call at 518-412-4111 to schedule a consultation today!


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Debra Whitson Brainz Magazine

Debra Whitson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

For the first half of her career, Debra Whitson was a prosecutor, and she spent the latter half specializing in Matrimonial and Family Law. She is an experienced mediator and collaborative divorce practitioner as well as a recognized expert in working with victims of domestic violence. Debra believes that legal battles are more harmful to families than helpful, and is passionate about helping people find ways to make their own decisions for their families, rather than leaving their outcomes in the hands of a stranger in a black robe. When court is unavoidable, Debra aims to educate and support people to make the legal process less costly, scary, uncertain, and stressful.

This article is published in collaboration with Brainz Magazine’s network of global experts, carefully selected to share real, valuable insights.

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