Finding the Good in Life
As a Life Mastery Certified Coach®, Susan integrates spirituality with practicality, guiding women to discover their unique Soul Goal™ and chart a personal path to success and happiness. Unlock your inner wisdom, align your heart with your mind, and uncover actionable steps that resonate with your authentic self.
I have a good friend whom I truly admire. Not because her life is perfect. Not because she never has a bad day. Certainly not because nothing ever gets to her. What I admire is what she does after something gets to her. She may take a moment to vent. She may talk it out. She may get frustrated, disappointed, or downright annoyed. You know what? I think that's healthy. Sometimes you just need to say, “This stinks!” and give yourself permission to feel it.
But then something happens. She turns the corner. She finds something good in her life to smile about. She shifts her attention. She reminds herself that whatever is happening right now isn't the entirety of her life.
I have watched her do this enough times that I've started paying attention to her secret. I think it comes down to this, she doesn't deny the difficult moments. She simply refuses to let them have the final word.
So, with her permission, here are a few of her lessons for getting through the darkest of days.
1. Give yourself permission to vent
One of the things I admire most about my friend is that she doesn't pretend everything is wonderful when it isn't. If she's frustrated, she says so. Sometimes you need to get something off your chest. Keeping every disappointment bottled up doesn't magically make it disappear. Talking with someone you trust can help you process what you're feeling and put things into perspective.
Action step: The next time something is really bothering you, give yourself a little time to vent. Talk to someone you trust, write it down, or simply say out loud what you're feeling. Then give yourself permission to move on. The goal isn't to live in the frustration. It's to acknowledge it and then turn the corner.
2. Look for one good thing
When we're having a difficult day, our attention naturally gravitates toward what's wrong. That's understandable. But if we stay focused there, it can begin to feel as though everything is wrong.
My friend has a knack for finding one little thing that makes her smile. It might be a funny conversation, a good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunset, a favorite song, or simply something she is grateful to have in her life. It doesn't erase the problem. It simply reminds her that the problem isn't the whole story.
Action step: When your day feels dark, stop and ask, “What is one good thing in my life right now?” Don't overthink it. Find one thing. Then find another.
3. Don't let one moment become your whole day
We've all done it. Something goes wrong first thing in the morning, and suddenly the entire day feels ruined. A difficult conversation happens, and we carry it with us for hours. One disappointment becomes evidence that nothing is going right. But one moment is just one moment.
Action step: When something goes wrong, try saying, “This is a difficult moment. It doesn't have to become a difficult day.” Then consciously choose what you want to do with the next moment. You don't have to let the last five minutes determine the next five hours.
4. Find something that makes you smile
Sometimes we wait until we feel better before we do something that makes us feel better. Why not reverse that? Put on the music that always lifts your spirits. Call the friend who makes you laugh. Take a walk. Watch something funny. Sit outside. Do something that reconnects you with a lighter part of yourself.
Action step: Create your own personal “mood-lifting list.” Write down five things that reliably make you smile. Keep the list handy for those days when you need a little help turning the corner.
5. Remember that this, too, will pass
Perhaps the greatest lesson I've learned from watching my friend is that she doesn't expect every day to be a good one. She simply trusts that a bad day is not forever. Life moves. Circumstances change. Feelings change. Problems get solved. New opportunities appear. Sometimes, something wonderful shows up when you least expect it.
Action step: When you're going through a particularly difficult moment, remind yourself, “This is where I am today. It isn't necessarily where I'll be tomorrow.” Give yourself permission to believe that things can change.
The Wise Woman says
We are all going to have dark days. There will be disappointments, frustrations, losses, unexpected challenges, and moments when we wonder how we're going to get through whatever is in front of us. You don't have to pretend those moments don't hurt. Vent. Cry. Talk it out. Feel what you need to feel. Then, when you're ready, turn the corner.
Look for something good. Find something to smile about. Remember what is still right in your life.
My friend has reminded me that resilience doesn't necessarily mean bouncing back with a smile immediately. Sometimes resilience is simply knowing when it's time to stop looking at what's wrong and start looking for what's right.
So on your darkest days, don't ask yourself to have the perfect attitude. Just ask yourself, “What good can I find here?” It might be something small. But sometimes, one small spark is all you need to begin finding your way back to the light.
Read more from Susan F. Moody
Susan F. Moody, Intuitive Business, Life & Success Coach
Susan F. Moody, Wise Woman, is dedicated to empowering women to tap into their own inner wisdom and discover the power of intentional living. Along her personal journey, Susan became a wisdom seeker looking for ways to connect with the divine for inspiration and guidance. She started working with the I Ching, angel cards, wisdom cards, runes, and pendulum work over 20 years ago and now offers these spiritual insight tools as an option to her clients. She has also developed a tangible technique, the Soul Goal™ finder, to help clients answer the contemplative question “Why am I here?”
