Finding Joy – A Twelve Step Guide To Happiness
- Jul 16, 2024
- 6 min read
Director of Calm Confident Create, Angela specializes in empowering individuals to thrive by adopting a creative thinking mindset. She guides them to shed limiting beliefs, paving the way for remarkable personal and professional growth.
Happiness is often viewed as an elusive destination, something to be achieved after hitting certain life milestones. However, we frequently replace each milestone with a new one and happiness seems no closer. As a wellness coach specialized in working with women, I've learned that happiness is not a distant goal but a daily practice. It’s a state of being that can be cultivated through intentional actions and mindset shifts. In this article, we'll explore practical steps and insights to help women discover and nurture their own happiness.
Understanding happiness
Before diving into the practicalities, it’s important to understand what happiness truly means. It’s not about a perpetual state of euphoria or constant smiles; rather, it’s about a deeper sense of contentment and fulfillment. Happiness encompasses moments of joy, but also the resilience to navigate life’s inevitable challenges. Happiness is also a chemical state, and we can manipulate our brain to produce happy chemicals with our actions.
Cultivating self-awareness
The journey to happiness begins with self-awareness. Knowing yourself—your desires, strengths, and values—is crucial. Spending time to reflect on what happiness means to you has great value. Is it spending time with loved ones, pursuing a creative passion, or contributing to your community?
Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can help you connect with your inner self and identify these core sources of joy. They also help to release the chemical serotonin responsible for regulating our mood.
Embracing authenticity
Many women struggle with social expectations and pressures to conform to certain roles or standards. Embracing authenticity means letting go of these external pressures and living in alignment with your true self.
This might involve setting boundaries, saying no to things that don’t serve you, and pursuing activities and relationships that genuinely resonate with you.
Oxytocin is a powerful bonding chemical and time spent with friends and loved ones is important. Even simple gestures like giving a compliment or holding hands can help release oxytocin.
Prioritizing self-care
Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for happiness. It involves taking deliberate actions to care for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep form the foundation of physical health. Endorphins are released by exercise and dopamine by good quality sleep.
Equally important is emotional self-care, which can include activities like reading, spending time in nature, or enjoying a hobby. Mental self-care might involve practices already mentioned like meditation, mindfulness exercises or therapy, but can be as simple as taking breaks to unwind and recharge.
Building positive relationships
Humans are inherently social beings, and our relationships at home and at work greatly impact our happiness.
Cultivating positive, supportive relationships can provide a sense of belonging and emotional support.
Invest time in nurturing connections with family, friends, and community.
It’s also important to recognize and distance yourself from toxic relationships that drain your energy and well-being.
Practicing gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful tool for increasing happiness. Regularly acknowledging and celebrating the positive aspects of your life can help shift your focus from what’s lacking to what you already have.
In your daily journal a gratitude section where you jot down things you’re thankful for makes this a deliberate and mindful part of the day. This practice can enhance your overall outlook and help you find joy in the small, everyday moments. Completing that task everyday will boost your serotonin as a bonus.
Setting and pursuing goals
Having clear goals gives you a sense of purpose and direction, which is essential for long-term happiness. These goals should be meaningful and aligned with your values.
Break them down into manageable steps and remember to celebrate your progress along the way.
Remember, the journey is just as important as the destination, and the pursuit of your goals can bring immense satisfaction.
Why not fill a jar with promises, little celebrations for yourself then pick one each time you complete a step.
Embracing positivity
A positive mindset can significantly impact your happiness.
This doesn’t mean ignoring life’s difficulties but rather approaching challenges with a hopeful and resilient attitude.
Surround yourself with positive influences—whether it’s uplifting books, inspiring podcasts, or encouraging people.
Practice reframing negative thoughts and focusing on creative solutions rather than problems and threats.
Living in the present
Happiness is often found in the present moment, yet many of us spend too much time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
To help you stay grounded in the present. Ground yourself by focusing on one of your senses and putting thoughts aside for two minutes. Engage fully in whatever you’re doing—whether it’s eating a meal where you savour every bite noticing texture, flavour and smell. Walking in the park feel the contact of your feet in minute detail or listen for far and near sounds. Engaging with nature and the outdoors is a great way to increase serotonin levels in the brain. During a conversation, notice the detail of the tone of voice and facial expressions while you listen.
Being present can enhance your experience and bring greater joy to your everyday life.
Giving back
Acts of kindness and giving can boost your happiness.
Whether it’s volunteering your time, offering support to a friend, or simply performing small acts of kindness, giving back creates a sense of connection and purpose.
It reminds us of our shared humanity and the positive impact we can have on others.
Managing stress and anxiety
Stress and anxiety are common barriers to happiness. While stressed the chemical balance in our brain changes we produce more adrenaline and cortisol which make us more likely to consider potential threats and have a narrow vision of the issue.
Learning effective stress management techniques is crucial. This might include physical activities like yoga or tai chi, relaxation techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, or mental strategies like cognitive-behavioural techniques.
Identifying the sources of your stress can significantly improve your overall well-being and coaching is an excellent way to explore and find healthy ways to cope.
Seeking professional help
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we may struggle to find happiness. It’s important to recognize when professional help is needed. Therapists, counsellors, and wellness coaches can provide guidance, support, and strategies tailored to your unique situation.
Seeking help is a sign of strength and a proactive step towards better mental health.
Creating a balanced life
Finally, strive for balance in all areas of your life. This includes balancing work and leisure, socializing and solitude, and activity and rest. A balanced life allows you to meet your needs without overextending yourself in one area.
Our balance point changes at different times in life and can be particularly affected at times of change and transition. Regularly assessing your life balance allows you to make adjustments as needed to maintain harmony.
Conclusion
Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all formula but a personal and dynamic journey. By understanding your unique sources of joy, embracing authenticity, prioritising self-care, building positive relationships, practicing gratitude, and managing stress, you can cultivate a happier, more fulfilling life.
Remember, happiness is a practice that requires ongoing effort and attention, but the rewards are well worth it. As a wellness coach, my hope is that these insights and strategies empower you to create your own path to lasting happiness.
You can contact me to discuss any of these issues via my website and I am happy to offer a free discovery call.
Read more from Angela Cairns
Director of Calm Confident Create, Angela specializes in empowering individuals to thrive by adopting a creative thinking mindset. She guides them to shed limiting beliefs, paving the way for remarkable personal and professional growth. Angela seamlessly integrates holistic healthcare knowledge with a fusion of positive intelligence coaching and creative expression which creates a unique coaching experience that transcends traditional boundaries. This distinctive approach enhances performance and cultivates lasting happiness, guiding individuals towards their full potential. Her clients not only manage the demands of a busy life but emerge stronger, more confident, and ready to live their truth.
