Excuse Me ‒ I Am Trying To Get Out Of My Own Way
Updated: Nov 26, 2022
Written by: John Scott, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Fourth in a four-part series on Goal Setting and Attainment. Setting a goal and clarifying it in empowering terms (Part One) is the right start to attaining them. Shoring up feelings of self-efficacy, if need be (Part Two), provides the belief we can achieve our goals. And understanding areas of resistance, enriching each micro-step along the way liberates our power and creates more, creating accountability, and using primers (Part Three) are ways we can reap the good we sow.
It may feel all uphill or like a challenging mountain sometimes, but the view is excellent once we get there!
So, what can slow us down, and is it real or imagined?
Cognitive distortion perfectly describes its meaning. There are as many as 15 distortions or lies our brain tells us. Here are a few:
Mental filtering tends to filter out the positives and hold the negatives like a strainer capturing the bad stuff while the good stuff slips through unnoticed.
Polarized thinking is thinking in extremes, like all or nothing: this rarely being true. We are all imperfect, doing some things very skilfully and others not.
Overgeneralization is when not doing well in something once makes us think we are not good at it all the time.
Personalization is taking things personally: don't, it rarely is.
"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.” ‒ William James
Cognitive clarity is the opposite of cognitive distortion and the practice of cultivating more truth and positivity:
Capture and acknowledge the positives and progress by noticing the good facts. Learn from the rest.
We can moderate our thinking by observing what is between the extremes and realize that it is a more accurate representation of all of us.
We can test generalizing statements or thoughts that feel powerful by asking, "Is this true?"
People have a lot on their minds. If a friend doesn't text or call you back, there are all kinds of reasons that could be valid other than being a personal affront.
It's thought that cognitive distortions are an evolutionary design to keep us safe and survive in short-term stressful situations. But on the other side of safety and survival, we desire to be fully alive by growing into the person we envision or feel called to be.
“You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.” ‒ Abraham Maslow
We can experience a flow state as we attain goals, which is rich evidence that we are wired for growth and expansion because it feels so fantastic. In a flow state, parts of our brain shut down, diverting power to the one focus, which is why people often describe flow as a non-thinking experience.
Flow is a state that can be reached by engaging in a task or goal that is:
Well defined and at or slightly above our capacity: feeling possible.
Intrinsically rewarding (doing for the enjoyment of it).
Free of resistance. With distractions removed, we can get out of our way.
“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.”
William Murray, in 1951 was on a British reconnaissance team that went to the Everest region to map out a route most likely to get someone to the top on the next trip in 1953. In a book he wrote about the trip, he talks about the power of fully committing to a goal. That famous quote ends with, "Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."
If we look at the view ahead and see the horizon and know there is further to go or do or have, we must first honour the distance we have come and all the qualities we possess to have made it this far.
After finishing my 51 km swim across Lake Ontario in a world record time and standing on the shore, still wet and cold, reporters eagerly asked how I felt.
I turned to look back across the lake at the big waves crashing into the break wall and said, "It was hard. I thought about getting out a few times, but glad I didn't." And then, as I stood there looking at those waves, turbulent water, and a dark horizon, I realized that somehow, I had made my way through not only the waves and cold but any unhelpful thoughts and followed up with deep pride and gratitude by saying, "That was a good swim."
May your little and big inspired goals be empowered by your strength and exceeded by your ultimate outcomes.
John Scott, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
John worked in sales and leadership in the financial industry for 30 years. For part of that time, he experienced a great deal of stress and didn't know the way back. As a result, John's health and well-being suffered. Becoming burnt out was the stimulus to wake up with a determination to do his life differently.
John began a private journey to understand and overcome the negative stress he was experiencing. He found a formula for sustainable performance he now shares to help people move through common challenges to experience more great and less grind.
John has completed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR, U. of Massachusetts), Foundations of Applied Mindfulness Meditation (U. of Toronto), and the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology (CAPP, Flourishing Center, NY).
John's adventures include:
Climbing Mount Kenya and Mount Kilimanjaro.
Two dog sledding trips to the Canadian Arctic.
Two record-breaking swim crossings Lake Ontario (51km)
The first to swim from Christian Island to Collingwood, in Georgian Bay (32km).
John brings his experience in life, learning, and adventure to help people do life and work well through writing, speaking, and coaching.
