Embracing Authenticity – How Much Of It Do You Need Where And When?
- Mar 20, 2024
- 6 min read
Written by: Tatjana Gaspar, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We all love the word “authentic,” don’t we? Not because it has a special sound to it, but because it automatically triggers in us the association with something genuine, credible, and sincere that has a good vibe and attracts us. Authenticity is the essence of being true to oneself and to others, a state where our actions, beliefs, and aspirations are congruent with our core values and identity. At the heart of authenticity lies self-awareness – a deep understanding of our strengths, passions, ambitions, and ideally also of our shortcomings and vulnerability.
Let’s look at the way we live our authentic personalities day to day, in our careers or leadership moments. To do that, we need to ask some tough questions first:
Is complete authenticity possible and always ideal or does it have its pitfalls? Is it necessary or even productive to be 100% truthful and genuine in every moment? Is authenticity perhaps just something we like to emphasize in modern and prosperous (Western) societies? Does being authentic mean that we never lie, conceal, or deceive? Unlikely!
According to many inconclusive studies that have been conducted over several decades, most people cheat regularly, but on average only a couple times a day. Few people lie often.
We are for the most part products of our cultural heritage, of our education, and of our professional environment that teaches us how to navigate the rules of salesmanship, hierarchy, and competition. Without these major areas of complex guidelines, how would we ever know which part of us should be visible where and when, and which one we should avoid showing; what behavior might be helpful, and what could be detrimental? Society often imposes narrow definitions of success and acceptable behavior, pressuring us to conform to predetermined norms and expectations, and putting our commitment to authenticity to the test. How does this play out e.g. in the choice of our profession?
Choosing a professional path that resonates with our authentic self is not merely a pragmatic decision but a profound journey toward self-discovery and fulfillment. But when I look around, I notice that many competent people embark on a professional journey that does not correspond to their personalities, values, and wishes. Pressure from outside, low self-esteem, or the wish to uphold a certain standard are likely some of the reasons for it, but there may be more. Then, the questions are: How much authenticity is left, when my time is spent doing things that do not inspire me and do not correspond to my talents and skills?
How do I expect to actively shape my life and impact the lives of others positively if what I do does not allow me to be myself, if it is merely an exercise for the sake of it? What price am I prepared to pay for the sacrifice of my authenticity? This question is key for all other aspects of our lives, too!
In certain contexts, we may resort to lying as a form of self-preservation, to shield ourselves from judgment, harm, or undue scrutiny, e.g., someone might lie about their beliefs or preferences in a hostile environment to avoid conflict or persecution while someone else lies to hide their ignorance, insecurity, or shame. While the act of lying contradicts the ideal of authenticity, it may be perceived as a strategic maneuver to protect one’s genuine identity from external threats.
Furthermore, the concept of authenticity can be subject to interpretation and context. What may be authentic in one situation or culture could be considered indecent or rude in another. Societal norms, cultural expectations, and personal values all play a role in shaping these perceptions. In some cases, lying is rationalized as a means of conforming to social norms or upholding group cohesion. A person might fabricate a story to fit in with their peers, maintain harmony within their family, or conceal something that is a source of embarrassment for them. Within the framework of specific social dynamics, this could be perceived as authentic.
Moreover, interpersonal relationships often blur the distinction between authenticity and lying, where we have to navigate a delicate balance between honesty and diplomacy. White lies, omissions, and embellishments are common in everyday interactions, often employed to spare someone’s feelings or maintain rapport and goodwill. These behaviors may deviate from strict honesty and transparency; however, they may be perceived as pragmatic, strategic, and goal-oriented, redefining authenticity in a particular context. One could even argue that we all might find ourselves in such a situation from time to time. I would love to hear your story or opinion on that.
What do we mean and look at when we judge whether someone comes across as authentic? Even if it is difficult to describe in words, there is our general impression of the sincerity of a messenger as well as our common sense and our gut feeling that speak to us. In other words: A truthful message should go hand in hand with a matching appearance and behavior. (Whether the person was lying about the content despite their impeccable visual and vocal communication often only becomes clear afterward.)
Example 1: When our boss steps in front of his management and staff to announce a forthcoming company restructuring, then we in the audience have certain expectations concerning the transparency of the message, a respectful attitude, eye contact, and empathy for those employees who face a potentially imminent termination. As soon as something in this picture does not match our expectations, we sense it right away. Our gut feeling tells us that the communication is off because the authenticity is missing.
Example 2: The human being wants to believe in the sincerity of the messenger. Let’s assume, a successful influencer praises a healthy lifestyle on social media, but photoshops her genuine appearance and applies beauty filters. Do we still consider her authentic – after all she has many followers – or rather a liar? How many of us think that her message would be more credible and that she would be just as successful without photoshopping and beauty filters? Would we still believe her message and buy her product? Is authenticity on social media possible and desirable or counterproductive?
Example 3: You are preparing for the last one in a line of job interviews within the same company. The job is expected to boost your career; therefore, you want to make the best possible impression when meeting C-level executives. While being authentic is of the essence, you are also aware of the requirements of the new position. How much do you exaggerate your experience, know-how, commitment, and leadership qualities? Do you engage in a hard sell to show your competitive edge, or do you decide that a softer, humbler approach comes across as more honest?
To conclude: Authenticity and lying exist on opposite ends of the moral spectrum. While authenticity is rooted in integrity, lying entails deliberate deception and manipulation. Being authentic is innate, effortless, and has no ulterior motive. Lying, concealing, and deceiving is a conscious decision with a hidden agenda. Albeit not always ill-intentioned at the core, it may still erode trust over time. The complexity of human nature and social dynamics can sometimes blur the lines between the two. The whole debate about authenticity is not as straightforward as we would like to believe. Being authentic demands courage, but safeguards our dignity in the long term. Upholding a lie or deception may fulfill a purpose, but ultimately drains our mental energy.
Tatjana Gaspar, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified Systemic Coach and Online Trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues. Before coaching, she spent 20 years in international wealth management and leadership positions with different banks in Zurich. Initially, Tatjana obtained a Degree in Hispanic and Russian Literature and History from the University of Geneva. She is a firm believer in life-long learning and fluent in seven languages.
