Crones Don't Live in Regret
- Jun 22, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Feb 16, 2024
Written by: Pia Antico, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“Let it go, let it go!
Can't hold it back anymore.
Let it go, let it go...”
When I was 42, I married abuser No.2
Abuser No.2 was 17 years younger & from an ethnic background that particularly prized youthful women & fertility, to the point that if you did not come up with ‘the goods’, you were cast aside for a new, more fertile model.
Yeah, you can see where this is going.
Long story short, after 3 years of hyped-up fertility therapy & 2 missed miscarriages needing surgical removal. Throughout this trauma, I put my body through, & the 'thanks for trying' prize was an abuse of every kind.
Needless to say, for a while there, I was swimming in fear & self-loathing in my new country of origin.
Yes, ladies, I sold up the life I had clawed back from after toxic marriage No.1 & a traumatic brain injury acquired at age 28; thrown in for good measure.
The mistake at 42 was denied the stage of life I had entered, trying to wind back time & force myself to go in the wrong direction.
At a fundamental level - I was ashamed of aging. I had bought into the misogynistic myth that unless I looked & acted as if I am 20, I have no value & was irrelevant. So I told myself I was lucky that a handsome 29-year-old chose to 'risk his future' to marry me.
I believed I had to prove my worth.
I got sold on the bullshit that the only way a woman 40+ would be desirable is if she denied the energy & symbolism of the life stage she was in. So I allowed myself to be devalued compared to a 20-something because I denied wearing the crown of my authentic Crone self.
When I accepted & appreciated who I was & the entire scope of my life choices— that is when I stepped into my power.
No more regrets!
At 49, I no longer care what people think, I am not trying to relive the past & I am not worrying about the future.
My power comes from tapping into my heartful wisdom and creating a life that I want, with no explanation & no apology.
Living from my heartful wisdom in the present moment means I can take on limitless adventures with calm, clarity, & confidence. It means I can live & love fearlessly in complete authenticity.
I get to define how my Sacred Crone shows up & what she looks like. I define 'the Crone' as the Divine Feminine wise woman, who has shifted her focus toward living her life from her innate wisdom & no longer holding back due to her fear-based, Ego overthinking.
This life transition appears to kick in as we enter our Menopause cycle & it continues through to old age & death.
Yes, living from your heartful wisdom will change the face of the Crone through the maturing life cycle & the benefits of living in your wisdom will produce different outcomes.
An empty-nester in her 40s - 60s may be seeking to pick up what fell away during the motherhood years, or maybe she wants to redefine herself completely.
A never-nested in her 40s - 60s may have had a life of uninterrupted self-prioritizing but is now looking to call in her Divine feminine wisdom to reshape & reenergize an outward-focused career & community building life.
Neither are ready for retirement but are also no longer chasing youth.
Their vitality & power is magnetic & mystical as she strengthens her connection to her heartful wisdom at the beginning of her Crone Quest. This is where I am currently at.
Now, for some women, they never 'retire & continue feeding the Community with the fruits of their wisdom & continue to challenge the status quo well into their 90s.
The call toward a Crone Wisdom Quest has them in retreat & solitude much earlier than the stereotypical retirement age slow down for other women.
So, for me, the crone is not about strict biological or developmental life stages; our modern world has blurred the lines & extended our lives in ways never seen before.
The Crone represents the tapping into our innate heartful wisdom & creating unapologetically authentic lives of fearless compassion & joy. It's all about squeezing every last drop of juice from our lives.
It's about rebelling against the youth-obsessed misogynistic society that dismisses or pathologizes the aging of women.
We all have our own realities, so what that looks like for you, for me & others, will not be the same.
Archetypes & Stories are great. They help us try and describe the formless energetic truth of our existence. But they cease being useful when we limit our present moment wisdom experience by overthinking labels & definitions.
So, when I call women over 40 on a Crone Quest. I am inviting them to tap into their innate heartful wisdom & create lives free of self-limiting labels.
I want to invite women over 40 to learn from my mistake & embrace wholeheartedly this season of your life. Awaken the joy within©️ & embrace your Sacred Crone.
Join me for this 90-minute masterclass where I will share with you how to effortlessly ditch your regrets & step into your unapologetic, authentic self after 40.
*A replay will be emailed to those who register.
Pia Antico, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
“In the middle of a storm, it is possible to find peace and strength when we tap into our innate Spirit-led wisdom and step heartfully into the present moment.” - Pia Antico.
Pia Antico is the Founder of Essential Awakening Mentoring, a Relationships Reset Mentor/Coach/Trainer, Speaker, and Author. Pia is also in a Creative Partnership with the charity “More to her life,” contributing a percent of her sales/fees to inspire and support women to dream and build beyond domestic violence.
She guides and encourages unfulfilled women over 40 who have spent their adult lives looking after others and following ‘the rules’ to courageously step into the second half of their lives with a total ‘Joy Reboot’ using her signature AWAKEN Model © of joyful living, based on a 3-step transformational journey embodying the 6 key elements of joy. This allows her clients to respond to any situation with calm, clarity, and confidence, enabling them to live and love fearlessly in the present moment.
Pia holds three degrees in Psychology, Counseling Training, and Certification in the Inside-Out Paradigm. Additionally, she learned how to thrive after two toxic marriages and following an accident that left her with a life-altering brain injury, all while she raised a resilient, courageous, and creative daughter who has now stepped into her own light and soulful marriage.
