Written by: Ashha Agarwaal, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What if communicating could be elegant, kind, playful yet very powerful? Most often, what people say is not the complete information they want to deliver. Behind every communication, there is a story or background of information. You communicate to get the information across to the other person, which you would like to have as an outcome. The receiver receives the information that he/she would like to hear and receive. In this process, the communication is often misidentified and hence turn out to be most unkind, intense and create separation.
People would like to do domination in a conversation to get control over you. When you do not agree to their point of view, they may fell repudiated. When you agree to the point of view with an internal conflict, you invalidate yourself with extreme prejudice.
How to bring elegancy in communication?
Elegance is the willingness to create a maximum effort and impact using the least amount of energy. The beauty of communication is that it connects with one another whether it is verbal or nonverbal.
Pacing yourself to lead
Any conversation, it is important to pace people by listening. It is about perceiving the background information based on your awareness. Mainly people use their ears and eyes to perceive the communication. That's not enough. You need to be present and highly sensitive to the emotions and responses
Being aware of creating Connection
Animals use telepathic communication. As a human being, you do have the capacity to perceive the energies and intensities. Being in awareness of the nonverbal language, tone of voice and energy levels, you can pick up the key points and the background information they are trying to share. You can match and mirror the styles, gestures, and tones the other person uses to establish the connection. This create a naturally comfortable space and a sense of sincerity
The power of being Authoritative
The power of being authoritative is being self. It is the willingness to have and acknowledge your own superiority. It is different from proving your superiority that comes from believing you are inferior.
One of the most killing word is "sorry" when used in not needed situations. Using 'sorry' frequently undermines the gravitas of yourself. It puts you in an undermining value and in a subservient position.
Most often, you can see women use the word ‘Sorry’ often. Why? At an early age, women had been taught that the feminine characteristics are to be resilient, be nurturing, tolerant, be sensitive, kind etc. Apologizing before speaking is just way to avoid any potential conflict of any situation, bringing the softer tone to the conversation and playing safe to sequencing the thoughts and emotions.
To be authoritative and in control of the matter you need to put forward, you can change the perceptual positions. Change yourself to a position of the other party on how the person would receive the information. If you have to say, ‘I am sorry I am late,’ and you can just rephrase it to ‘I hope you don’t mind for me being late.’
Approach the situation with No Point of View
Most often, you try to impel people with how perfect your point of view is. You would like to be fed as a humble pie of victim judging yourself as your point of view is right or wrong or get into a reaction or agreement. Approaching a situation with no point of view is, you deliver what you need to deliver with utmost conviction, and you have the willingness to receive everything but not to hold onto anything. You are not judging and validating what another person is thinking. You are being yourself and authentic. This keeps the conversation more playful, kind and truer to yourself.
Finally, bringing the Elegancy
How can you create change, being completely different? Having the willingness to be vulnerable that you can acknowledge, sometimes you can bring the change and sometimes you cannot. Placing your communication in the elegance of needlessness will take you out of the feelings you are using to make you fit in being superior. Feelings are the greatest limitation. Allowance is another way of bringing elegancy onto communication. Allowance is caring, having no alignment or agreement. Everything is just an interesting point of view. Then you are not into the loop of control.
Then elegancy in communication is just a free flow, no judgment and being in absolute gratitude. It is just the total willingness to honor yourself and other people. That create the openness, trust and respect in the communication.
Ashha Agarwaal, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ashha is a thought leader, an influencer with a purpose and mission to contribute in creating a world and community with more consciousness. She is an MBA graduate, specialized in Strategic Management and an IT Professional working with a Fortune 500 multinational conglomerate. She is also a Mind-Shift Coach and facilitate in creating possibilities in any area of the life from Career, business, health, relationships and much more. She is the founder member of Coachmeright LLP, a platform to provide the support and guidance through coaching for one to move from their limited current reality to create and invite more possibilities in life. It is a simple, pragmatic way of creating life and an invitation to be the real persona in your life, Business and Career. CMR offers life changing transformation tools that one can use in daily life to create an impactful change. Being a passionate Coach, she is also a Certified Facilitator for Access Consciousness Bars, Certified NLP Practitioner, Public Speaker, Mentor and an explorer of Spiritual journey.