Chapter 1 – Born With It All
- Jun 15, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 14, 2023
Written by: William Lee, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I was forty when my twin daughter and son were born.
My life had been pretty complicated up to this point. Their births transformed it instantly.
The purpose, the mission, the strategies, the plannings, the methodologies, the systems, the structures, the processes, and the mystical work-life balance all became crystal clear and congruent. Magic!
Would I get the same alignment, were they born in my 20’s or 30’s? Most likely not.
Overserving too many people’s interests with limited knowledge and skills were recipe for disaster. Instead, inner desires and external realities had to come together.
No brainer, right?
When we think deeper about what connects our mind to the outside world and how we can utilize it to good use, it gets more complicated than that.
What’s In Our Mind
Informed by a mix of Buddhist’s Prajnaparamita Sutra «波若波羅密多心經», Taoism’s Tao Te Ching «道德經» and Confucianism’s Chung Yong «中庸», when a human makes contact with the external world, or with another person, there is a natural flow of chain reactions happening inside that person’s mind.
First, the person feels 受 the external world through the five senses of vision 眼, hearing 耳, smelling 鼻, tasting 舌, and touching 身. This part of the mind spontaneously reacts to the newly collected information with their previous experience or natural instinct – the (sub)consciousness 意識 – and attaches an emotional feeling to it.
Second, this emotionalized information is then relayed to the thinking part of the mind. Here, the information is compared and categorized against a set of mental yardsticks. Whatever reacted out of this comparison forms a new stream of internalized information to be further fermented and processed at the next part of the mind.
The internalized information next mixes and reacts with our (sub)consciousness to produce a decision to act (or not). Guided by a set of known methodologies, instinct or pure trial-and-error, actions are subsequently devised to close that gap. This event-specific decision and actions, along with the information previously collected, internalized, and now processed, is stored for future emotional attachment at the said first step of thoughts. The (sub)consciousness also provides the mental yardsticks utilized at the second step and the known methodologies at our internal processor, influencing the future.
From Naught (?) to Something
The twins are now a little more than 4 years old. I am intrigued by their growing differences each day. But, I wonder how much I contribute to that.
At first milk, Xin-Xin the girl was gorging like there was no tomorrow. She probably would eat anything. On the other hand, the boy Kai-Kai frowned and stopped immediately when the milk touched his tongue. He was chewing and tasting, perhaps trying to discern the new sensation. When he was finally able to associate that taste with food and satiety, he was drinking like his sister.
Similarly, the way they learn a language has always been establishing the connection between a certain sound and the corresponding thing or feeling. By instinct and trial-and-error, they learn to discover – later remember and repeat – certain muscle movements capable of reproducing that same sound. Empathy is learned by identifying a certain set of conditions that would give the same feeling as one would to another human being. With growing discoveries, connections, and repeats, they start to have enough databases to learn and think consciously, logically, reasonably, and critically.
They started with no experience, no memory, and no idea of how to use their individualized body parts. But, by living, experiencing, and connecting dots, they now become something capable of anticipation, imagination, reflection, and diversion.
They have independent minds, but we are connected through our five senses and love.
Good Faith the Future
On a cold December morning in northern China, Mr. J woke up early.
“Tender documents, check. Quotation sheets, check. Strategic roadmap, check. Pen, check. Printer, check. Paper, check. Spare battery, check. Chocolate, check. Water, check. Extra clothing, check. …”
He was about to attend a commercial tender worth tens of million US dollars annually, making up around 45% of his region’s turnover. His customer was infamous for attempting anything possible to wear down suppliers’ spirit to gain commercial advantage. That included a “broken” heater in a sub-zero temperature negotiation room for hours.
Then suddenly, his mobile phone rang. It was from a customer machine superintendent. At an extremely low inventory level, if Mr. J’s product was to be replaced early, an installation accident or two could cause production loss, costing millions. Without compensation, Mr. J’s company was destined to years of desolation.
“Is this a negotiation tactic?” He got angry when he associated this incident with a bad experience. The anger stopped him from thinking freely and creatively.
Calling his mentor, he was advised to have good faith.
After recalling another incident of great success, a positive mentality returned. He remembered he was always going to be a positive contributor, even if he had to sacrifice. Assisted by a calm, confident and empathetic voice, Mr. J was able to get that superintendent talking. His experience allowed him to ask the right questions. Then, with facts established, he was able to find a plausible solution worth trying.
With just a flip of internal recollection, good faith, and the ability to connect. Mr. J and his team found space and time to visit the customer's head office, complete the tender registration, ask for temporary leave, visit the troubled mill, resolved the issue, and re-joined the tender. His company later became the biggest winner, and years to come.
“You have to do the best with what God gave you.”
“Remember what I told you, Forrest. You’re the same as everybody else. Do you hear what I said, Forrest? You’re the same as everybody else. You are no different.”
Famous lines from Mrs. Gump to her son in the 1994 film Forrest Gump.
Our ability to learn, grow, love, and be happy is no different from others, so understand how our minds work and use it to the fullest.
Each one of us has been born with it all. So enjoy the journey and be comfortable with it.
William Lee, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
William Lee, a business coach and expert in connecting people’s wheels of fortune together, excels at producing positive results in complex multi-stakeholder engagement, end-to-end customer experience satisfaction, and remote team management. Frustrated by years of conflicts and external negativities, William dug deep to understand how our minds work, how we interact with one another, and how good faith can improve our connected world together. Through a process called CentriFusion, William’s methodology and system provide an easy first step to vastly improve team empathetic capability. With increased presence and engagement, as a result, fertile mental grounds are sown to enable organic and spontaneous growth, aligned to a shared common purpose. William provides the way to attain TRUE and SUSTAINABLE COMFORT in your businesses. Enjoy life without complacency!
