Battling Back-To-School Anxiety For Parents And Children
- Brainz Magazine
- Sep 4, 2023
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 6
Written by: Danielle Baron, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The start of a new academic year can be a rollercoaster of emotions for both parents and children alike, even if a child is still attending the same school as before the summer holidays. The mix of excitement and apprehension that accompanies the transition to a new year group or a new school, or transition from state to private, can be both exciting and fear-inducing, as children and parents anticipate what is to come. For parents, the sight of their once-confident child navigating this unfamiliar territory in the next year group with harder work and perhaps a new schedule or being relegated to the youngest year group due to starting secondary school can trigger a surge of concerns. Likewise, children who were once ‘leaders’ in their previous school or secure in their previous class may find themselves grappling with unexpected anxieties in the face of this significant change.
As parents, equipping ourselves with the right tools to tackle this back-to-school anxiety is essential. While well-intentioned advice from others can be valuable, it's important to remember that every child's journey is unique. There's no one-size-fits-all solution to this transition. Rather than becoming overwhelmed by a flood of tips and opinions, focusing on your child's individual needs and maintaining a composed and reassuring presence can prove more effective. Acknowledging the specific challenges that they might face and being prepared to tackle them head-on through open dialogue can provide immense comfort. The journey from one year group to another or from primary to secondary school might appear substantial, but each school's approach to easing this shift is distinct. By staying informed about the school's policies, culture, and possibly even arranging visits with our child, we can help bridge the gap between the unknown and the familiar. In this process, we not only provide our child with a better understanding of their new environment but also offer the stability they need to overcome their anxiety. Encouraging connections with familiar friends and the cultivation of new friendships can also be invaluable, serving as a crucial anchor amid change. Ultimately, by finding the balance between support and autonomy, parents can pave the way for their child's successful navigation through the exciting yet challenging landscape of schooling.
Staying informed about the school's policies and culture is crucial. It can alleviate much of your child's anxiety, as their imagination may paint more daunting scenarios than the reality they will encounter. Maintaining open and honest communication with your child is vital. Be receptive to any worries or anxieties they may have and encourage discussions about potential solutions. Offer guidance on how to navigate various situations, from making new friends during playtime to handling challenging classwork or moments of solitude.
But, just as it's important to assist your child in overcoming obstacles; it's equally crucial to give them space to problem-solve and cultivate independence. Finding this balance can be challenging, but remember, there's no instruction manual for parenting through these transitions, and we can only try our best to help support. Most of the unpredictable journey will be up to your child, and it is important to allow them some autonomy to develop independence. Collaborate to establish a manageable homework and extracurricular activity schedule, breaking tasks into manageable portions. Ensure your child has quality leisure time to recharge their energy and engage in activities they enjoy.
5 Tips for parents
Open and Honest Conversations
Foster an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings and concerns about the transition. Initiate open conversations about their worries and anxieties and be sure to actively listen without judgment. Providing a safe space for them to express themselves can help alleviate their apprehensions.
Familiarise Through Visits
If possible, arrange visits to the new class/teacher/school before the term begins. Exploring the environment and getting a feel for it can significantly reduce the fear of the unknown. Familiarity can go a long way in calming your child's nerves and helping them adjust more smoothly.
Create a Supportive Routine
Establish a balanced daily routine that includes designated study time, leisure activities, and family interactions. Routine brings a sense of predictability and security, helping your child feel more in control of their new environment. Be sure to involve your child in crafting this routine, considering their preferences and energy levels.
Encourage Peer Connections
Encourage your child to stay connected with their current friends and to give them a positive stance about making new friends. Social connections can provide a sense of belonging and comfort during a period of change. Plan playdates or get-togethers with classmates before school starts to facilitate new friendships and ease social anxieties.
Model Calmness and Resilience
Children often take cues from their parents' behaviour. Demonstrating your own calmness and positive attitude about the transition can help alleviate their concerns. Share stories from your own experiences, emphasising that challenges are a natural part of growth. Teach them problem-solving skills and show that setbacks can be overcome with patience and determination. Give them some possible future anxiety-inducing scenarios, like finding themselves alone at lunchtime, and ask what strategies they could use to tackle this situation. We want to help children develop resourcefulness as this is the key to success.
Remember, every child is unique, and their response to back-to-school anxiety will vary. Be patient, understanding, and adaptable in your approach. By providing unwavering support and effective coping strategies, you can help your child navigate this exciting yet potentially overwhelming transition with confidence. You know your child best.
5 Tips for children
Break Tasks Into Small Steps
Schoolwork might seem overwhelming at first. Break down assignments and tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This approach can make studying and completing projects feel less daunting and more achievable.
Use Creative Outlets
Expressing yourself creatively can be a therapeutic way to cope with anxiety. Whether it's journaling, painting, playing a musical instrument, or writing poetry, find an artistic outlet that helps you channel your emotions and thoughts in a positive way.
Seek Help When Needed
It's okay to ask for help when you're feeling anxious. Talk to your parents, teachers, trusted person, or school counsellor about your worries. They can offer guidance, support, and resources to help you manage anxiety effectively. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Take Breaks and Have Fun
School is important, but so is having fun and relaxing. Make time for activities you enjoy, whether it's playing a sport, reading, drawing, or spending time with family and friends. Taking breaks helps recharge your energy and reduces stress.
Practice Gratitude
Each day, take a moment to reflect on things you're grateful for. It could be something as simple as a good conversation with a friend, a sunny day, or a delicious meal. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from anxious thoughts to positive aspects of your life, promoting a more optimistic outlook and reducing anxiety.
Remember that everyone goes through changes, and it's okay to feel a mix of emotions; it's only human. But it is our ability to bounce back quickly that counts. With time, you'll adapt to your new school environment, build new routines and friendships. Stay positive, be open to new experiences, and remember that challenges are opportunities for growth.
Follow me on Linkedin for more info!
Danielle Baron, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Danielle catalyses children and adults to rise like a phoenix from the flames 🔥 and to reach their optimum potential. She is an entrepreneur, inspiring 11+ and 7+ entrance exams tutor, rapid transformational therapist®️, business coach for overachievers, a life coach for all, and an NLP Master practitioner, and she is also certified by the ILM.
One of Danielle’s much-loved abilities is being an overachiever because she thrives on the excitement and follows her passion, which is to help people live fulfilling lives.
Over the last five years of her tuition business, Danielle has become extremely popular and respected in the tuition industry and is a mentor and coach to other tutors to help them increase revenue in their businesses, but ultimately to be the best tutors they can be. Her own tuition service incorporates coaching for parents and children throughout the exam process and NLP classes for children to help them with lack of confidence, bullying, and anxiety and to help them focus on the imminent goal of exams and to visualise and believe in their success.
Danielle’s second business, coaching and therapy, has been a long time coming and her personal interest in people and psychology led her to invest in the most high-quality courses to be the best for her clients. For her rapid transformational therapy ®️, she had the privilege of personally being mentored by Marisa Peer, a world-renowned therapist. Rapid transformational therapy is a combination of NLP, CBT, psychotherapy and hypnosis.
It has been Danielle’s personal experiences that have led her to where she is today. At age four, her father died of suicide, which installed in her a determination to help prevent people from ever becoming despaired again. Her best friend passed away at fifteen, which solidified Danielle’s determination to live life to the full. Growing up with a single parent, they struggled with money, but Danielle was very inspired by her mother’s work ethic, which had a huge impact on her.
As a teacher in some schools, the politics and bullying amongst staff were toxic and she suffered from depression, stress and burnout and was treated badly at her most vulnerable time of being pregnant and having a newborn and that’s why she’s passionate about helping teachers. She wishes that she had someone to help her at the time.
She has been through the journey of setting up successful businesses on her own while undertaking childcare as a single parent of two after she divorced and strongly believes anyone can achieve anything they put their mind to with grit, focus, and passion.
