Authenticity – Are You Leading as Yourself?
Paul Corke is an executive coach, author, speaker, and leading expert in mindset, leadership, and innovation, as well as the managing director of Paul Corke International. With 25 years of award-winning corporate experience, he specializes in organizational effectiveness, coaching, employee engagement, talent management, and leadership development across global markets.
How much of the person you are today have you consciously chosen, and how much has been chosen for you? It is a question I have been reflecting on increasingly through my work on authentic leadership, and one that I think deserves more consideration than we often give it. We hear so much about the importance of being authentic. Be yourself. Be true to your values. Bring your whole self to work. These are familiar messages, and for the most part I agree with them. But there is something that has always interested me about the advice to simply be yourself. What if the person you believe yourself to be is not entirely the person you would have chosen to become?
From the moment we enter the world, we begin to be shaped by it. Our upbringing, education, relationships, culture, experiences and the expectations of others all influence how we see ourselves. We develop beliefs about what is acceptable, what success looks like, how we should behave and what other people expect from us.
Some of these influences serve us well. Others may limit us without us even realising. Over time, the behaviours we adopt become habits, our habits become preferences, and eventually we begin to describe them as part of our personality. We tell ourselves, and others, that this is simply who we are. But is it?
Perhaps authenticity is not quite as simple as being ourselves. Perhaps it begins with understanding how we became ourselves in the first place.
The person we become
In my previous articles, The Intelligence of Intent and The Will to Love, I explored two ideas that I believe are fundamental to leadership that is ready for the future. The first is that leadership begins within. Before we can lead others effectively, we need to develop a greater awareness of our own thinking, beliefs and intentions. The second is that leadership requires a willingness to participate in life, to care, to contribute and to take responsibility for the wellbeing and development of others.
Authenticity brings these ideas together. If we are to lead intentionally, and if we genuinely want to make a positive difference to the lives of others, surely we must first understand who we are and what is driving us. Yet I wonder how often we really do.
Throughout our lives, we learn to adapt. We adapt to our families, our friendships, our workplaces and the organisations we become part of. We learn what is rewarded, what is discouraged and what behaviour appears to help us succeed.
In leadership, this can become particularly interesting. We develop an image of what a leader should look like. Perhaps confident, decisive, assertive, charismatic or always in control. We observe leaders we admire and sometimes begin to adopt their behaviours, believing that this is what leadership requires.
There is nothing inherently wrong with learning from others. Much of our development comes from observing, reflecting and experimenting with different approaches. The difficulty arises when we begin to confuse the role we are playing with the person we actually are.
I have worked with many leaders who have become highly successful by adapting to the expectations around them. Yet sometimes, when we begin to explore their identity, values and preferences, there is a realisation that the way they have learned to lead is not necessarily the way they would naturally choose to lead.
They have become very good at being the leader they believe they are expected to be. But somewhere along the way, they may have lost sight of themselves.
The authenticity gap
This is something I explored in my second edition of Leadership Boxed, Authenticity: Leading True to Yourself. I think of it as the authenticity gap, the distance between who we are and who we feel we have to be. We can experience this gap in many aspects of life, not just leadership.
It might be the career we pursue because it meets somebody else's definition of success. The behaviours we adopt because we want to belong. The opinions we keep to ourselves because we fear judgement. Or the expectations we continue to meet long after we have stopped questioning whether they are right for us. The wider that gap becomes, the more energy we can spend maintaining a version of ourselves that doesn't quite feel like us.
There is an interesting connection here with what I have previously described as the happiness gap. We can spend much of our lives pursuing things we believe will make us happy, only to discover that achievement and fulfilment are not necessarily the same thing.
Authenticity asks us to consider whether we are pursuing a life, and a form of leadership, that is genuinely aligned with who we are. Not who we think we should be. Not who others want us to be. But who we consciously choose to become.
Nature doesn't try to become something else
Throughout this series of articles, I have often turned to nature as a way of exploring leadership. There is something about spending time in the natural world that encourages us to reflect on our own lives. Perhaps it is the absence of many of the expectations, distractions and pressures that occupy so much of our everyday thinking.
A tree does not try to become another tree. It grows according to its nature, while continually adapting to the environment around it.
Its roots provide stability, but its branches respond to the conditions in which it finds itself. It may bend towards the light, withstand difficult weather or change its pattern of growth as the seasons unfold.
I think this offers an interesting perspective on authenticity. Being authentic doesn't mean remaining unchanged. It means understanding what should remain constant while recognising what needs to evolve.
Our values may provide the roots, but our behaviour needs to be capable of adapting to the world around us. That is particularly important in leadership.
Authenticity is not an excuse
One of the things I have become increasingly conscious of through my coaching work is the way authenticity can sometimes be misunderstood. I have heard leaders describe themselves as direct, demanding, impatient or outspoken and then justify the impact of those behaviours by saying, "That's just who I am."
But is that authenticity? Or is it simply a reluctance to consider how our behaviour affects others? For me, authentic leadership has never meant having permission to behave however we choose. We can be true to ourselves while still recognising that other people experience the world differently.
We can be naturally direct and learn to communicate with greater sensitivity. We can prefer time to reflect while recognising that others may need more immediate engagement. We can be highly driven without expecting everybody around us to share the same pace or priorities.
This is where awareness of ourselves becomes so important. Understanding our values, strengths and preferences helps us recognise what comes naturally, what gives us energy and where we may need to make a more conscious effort.
But awareness alone is not enough. We also need to understand our presence, the impact we have on others and our willingness to adapt.
In Leadership Boxed, I explored five interconnected areas of authenticity: values, strengths, preferences, presence and adaptation. At the centre of these sits alignment.
Because authenticity is not simply about knowing ourselves. It is about bringing greater consistency between who we are, what we believe and how we choose to behave. Perhaps most importantly, it is about recognising that our authenticity should never come at the expense of somebody else's.
The experience of authenticity
There is a thought that has stayed with me throughout my work on this subject. Authenticity is experienced by others. We may believe ourselves to be authentic. We may describe ourselves as honest, open, respectful or guided by our values. But ultimately, other people experience our leadership through what we do.
They experience it in the conversations we have, the decisions we make, the promises we keep and the way we respond when things don't go according to plan. They notice whether we behave consistently when under pressure. Whether we listen to opinions that challenge our own. Whether we are prepared to admit that we have made a mistake. Whether the person who turns up in one situation is recognisably the same person who turns up in another.
This doesn't mean behaving identically in every circumstance. Different situations require different approaches, and leadership would be incredibly ineffective if we failed to recognise that.
But there should be something consistent beneath the behaviour. A sense of integrity, a connection to our values. A recognisable humanity.
The psychologist Carl Rogers placed great importance on congruence, the alignment between our inner experience and outward expression, alongside empathy and acceptance in creating conditions for personal growth. I think there is something particularly relevant here for leadership.
When people experience us as genuine, when they feel respected and when they believe they can express themselves without constantly having to protect who they are, we begin to create the conditions in which they can grow. Perhaps that is one of the greatest responsibilities of an authentic leader. Not simply to become more fully ourselves, but to create the space for others to do the same.
The courage to be yourself
There is another dimension to authenticity that I think we sometimes overlook. Courage. It can take courage to question beliefs we have held for much of our lives. Courage to acknowledge that the version of success we have been pursuing may no longer be the one we want. Courage to challenge expectations or admit that something we once believed about ourselves may no longer be true.
It can take courage to stop performing. Particularly when that performance has brought us recognition, status or success.
I think this becomes increasingly important as we develop as leaders. There comes a point when we have to decide whether we are going to continue meeting the expectations of others or begin to lead more consciously from our own values and sense of purpose. That doesn't mean rejecting everything we have learned or abandoning the responsibilities we hold. It means becoming more intentional about the person we bring to those responsibilities. Which brings us back to psychological intelligence (PsyQ) and the importance of choosing who we intend to become.
Because we are not fixed. We are continually learning, evolving and becoming. Authenticity is not about returning to some perfect, original version of ourselves that existed before life influenced us. It is about recognising those influences, understanding what matters to us now and making more conscious choices about how we want to live and lead.
Am I leading as myself?
There is a question I would encourage every leader to spend some time considering. Am I leading as myself, or am I leading as the person I think I am supposed to be? It sounds simple, but I suspect the answer is not always straightforward.
Perhaps there are situations where you feel completely comfortable being yourself, and others where you feel the need to perform. Perhaps there are behaviours that have served you well professionally but no longer reflect the leader you want to become. Or perhaps there are parts of yourself that you have kept hidden because you have never been entirely sure they belong in leadership.
I would encourage you to explore those questions with curiosity rather than judgement. Authenticity begins with awareness, but it develops through reflection, choice and action. We do not have to change everything about ourselves. Nor should we assume that everything we have become is somehow wrong. Sometimes the greatest development comes from recognising that we already have more to offer than we have allowed ourselves to believe.
Leading true to yourself
As I look towards the future of leadership, I believe authenticity will become increasingly important. In a world where artificial intelligence can generate information, replicate communication styles and produce increasingly sophisticated content, the human experience of leadership will matter enormously.
People will still want to know whether they can trust us. Whether we mean what we say, whether our actions reflect our values and whether we genuinely care. Whether they can be themselves in our presence. This is why authenticity sits so naturally within my thinking around Leadership 5.0 and the leader who is ready for the future. The future will undoubtedly require us to become more adaptable, more technologically capable and more comfortable with uncertainty. But none of those things should require us to lose our sense of self.
In fact, I would argue that the more complex the world becomes, the more important it is that we understand who we are and what we stand for. We need roots strong enough to hold us steady, while remaining flexible enough to grow. Perhaps that is the real challenge of authentic leadership. Not simply asking ourselves who we are today, but considering who we are becoming, why we are becoming that person and whether the choices we make are genuinely our own.
Because leadership is not about becoming somebody else. It is about becoming more consciously ourselves, while helping others find the confidence and freedom to do the same.
"Lead true to yourself. Create the space for others to do the same."
Read more from Paul Corke
Paul Corke, Leadership Innovator, Author & Speaker
Paul Corke is an executive coach, author, and speaker, and is considered to be a leading expert on mindset, leadership, and innovation. He is also the managing director of Paul Corke International, an innovative executive coaching business. He previously spent 25 years in the corporate world with award-winning results, specializing in organizational effectiveness, coaching, employee engagement, talent management, and leadership development, with experience in the UK, Ireland, Europe, the US, and the Middle East.
