Are You the Complainer, the Talker, or the Doer? – Discover the Psychology That’s Holding You Back
Updated: Apr 19, 2025
Sheryl Maharaj is well-recognised globally as a Relationship Consultant, specialising in multifaceted workplace dynamics and interpersonal relationships, with a unique focus on breaking patterns for transformative change. Sheryl integrates her love for ancient traditions and science-based methodology in human development for meaningful results.
We all flex in and out of one type or fixate over the other.
The complainer
A complainer navigates the world with psychological drama and dread. When life unfolds as they believe it should, they experience fleeting happiness. However, most of the time, they avoid taking responsibility or accountability in any situation.
Everything is an issue, and everyone is to blame. It’s easier to complain than to make a difference in a dreary world. You mostly feel drained of energy after walking away from this interaction.
There is a lack of understanding of how thoughts create feelings and the world around them. Just ask the complainer if they are grateful for anything in life. Wait, and watch how they react to this question.
The complainer will tell you that it cannot be done, it won't be done and persuade you out of your dreams. Why?
Often, the complainer is scared to watch your progress. This would mean taking ownership, facing reality and living their life fully.
The talker
The talker generally knows what to do in context and takes minimal action. Incongruent in their words, actions, emotions and intentions.
For the talker, it is a shock to learn that “you become what you do and not what you say you will do.” The talker loves intellectual debates and seeks the limelight to dominate the conversation and showcase knowledge. You may feel unheard.
In the talker’s world, listening as a form of communication is less favoured. People either leave halfway through the conversation, or the talker finds themselves surrounded by people who have nothing to say.
The talker forgets that the ego is noisy. Since talking is favoured, action is minimal, so objectives and creative endeavours are kept on the back burner for another day, forgotten and unfulfilled.
Trademark of the talker, unfinished projects, half-baked ideas and no follow-through on promises to themselves or others.
The talker forgets they exist as a creator, not just a creation.
The doer
The doer is not the best at everything. They find people best at different things, learn from and empower others to act and shape fruitful outcomes.
The doer's attention is focused on who they are becoming in the process, not the future outcome.
Whether motivated or unmotivated, the doer works with a timeline and has well-dialled-in habits to move them closer to their desired outcome. Setbacks are the fuel that ignites their energy to recalibrate and keep moving forward without becoming consumed by what others think, say, misunderstand or expect of them.
The doer is not highly talented nor needs to be, achieves more with less effort by operating from the core of who they are and for the greater good of humanity.
It seems the doer is aware that both inaction and action speak louder than words. Observe them living in congruence in mind, body, emotions, intention, purpose and energy.
Lessons unique to you
Awareness of your psychology is key.
The theory of adult development suggests that less than 3% of the human population reaches the highest stages of psychological maturity (regardless of age). We are all included in the human population irrespective of profession, role, or function in society – parents, therapists, doctors, lawyers and leaders, all of us.
This means the full completion of adult development and psychological maturity is key.
At what stage are you in the development of psychological maturity?
To gain wisdom, fundamental shifts in awareness and profound insight will require you to walk through an experience and learn each lesson unique to you and for the greater good of humanity.
Read more from Sheryl Maharaj
Sheryl Maharaj, Relationship Consultant And Founder, Nourish
Sheryl Maharaj is well-recognised globally as a Relationship Consultant And Founder, Nourish. Her services aim to bring awareness to the forefront for individuals, team and organisations with pragmatic tools for moving through conflict, breaking patterns, creating connection, mastering effective communication and decision-making and maintaining sustainable change. She has a background in human development, conflict resolution, polyvagal/nervous system integration and transformative change.
