Are We Managing, or Are We Controlling?
- Jun 14
- 3 min read
Priyanka Ayodele is a leadership and organisational development specialist and the founder of The Leadership Method. As a Chartered Manager and Associate CIPD member, she supports organisations through leadership development, coaching, and culture-focused work with managers and teams
Management is often experienced in vastly different ways, shaped by individual expectations of support, structure, and control. Yet beneath these varying perspectives lies a deeper question of whether leadership is truly empowering people to take ownership, or slowly replacing it with oversight that feels more like control than guidance.
I have spoken with many people over the years about their experience with management, and one thing I always find interesting is that everyone experiences management differently. I ask one person what makes a good manager, and they will tell me it involves a manager who is supportive, communicates well, and builds truth within their team. I talk to another person, and they will talk about organisation, accountability, and oversight.
Neither person is wrong, but sometimes I wonder whether we have confused control with leadership. We have probably all had at least one experience with a manager who, for example, needed to approve everything, every decision, request, or change. This doesn’t always mean they are intentionally trying to be difficult. Sometimes, managers start to believe that being in charge means being involved in absolutely everything, including whether or not you get that day off for a doctor’s appointment that they demand to know all the details for to justify their decision. I know, they aren’t allowed to do this! But some do it anyway!
What is ironic about this is the more control they try to gain, the less ownership people around them seem to take. Their job becomes harder now because the team has stopped making decisions, stopped using their initiative, and stopped speaking up. This is not because they aren’t capable. It’s because they’ve learned that everything will be checked, challenged or overruled anyway.
I have seen similar things happen with things like annual leave or flexible working requests. Their decisions suddenly start to become less about fairness and more about control. There are lots of reasons managers might act like this.
Maybe there are things happening outside work that are affecting them. Maybe they’re afraid of losing control. Maybe they’re worried people won’t listen to them or maybe, just maybe, they’re just not a very nice person!
Although not all these managers are bad people, they’re often hardworking, dedicated, and sometimes even amazing at managing the work. The rotas will always be done on time, the spreadsheets are updated, the reports are submitted, but the people who work with them feel unheard, frustrated, and mistrusted. The challenge is that people can feel managed without ever feeling supported. As managers, we are in a privileged position to create an environment where people can think, contribute and take ownership without feeling like they are being micromanaged.
So, the question isn’t about whether managers should have oversight, because of course they should. The question is whether that oversight is helping people grow and take ownership or making them feel monitored and dependent.
Read more from Priyanka Ayodele
Priyanka Ayodele, Leadership and Business Specialist
Priyanka Ayodele (CMgr MCMI, Assoc. CIPD) is a Chartered Manager and Associate CIPD member and the founder of The Leadership Method. Her work focuses on leadership, team culture, and organisational development. Earlier in her career, she studied psychology and worked in mental health, which shaped her interest in how people experience leadership at work. Having experienced both poor management and the kind of leadership that helps people grow, she saw firsthand how much impact managers can have on someone's confidence and development. The managers who recognised her potential played a big part in shaping the leader she is today. That experience now influences the work she does at The Leadership Method
