A Dad’s Guide To Teaching Your Daughter How She Deserves To Be Treated
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 9, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 20, 2024
Lark Ericson is on a mission to help shy and socially awkward people embrace their authentic selves and confidently navigate any social situation without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Lark understands that dating and networking can be daunting for those who aren't naturally outgoing or confident.
As a father, do you feel like you play just a small role in your preteen or teenage daughter’s life? It can be a painful transition to go from being the center of her world to being perceived as an annoying and out of touch adult, or, much worse, a man who just doesn’t get it. You might feel like your only real connection is reduced to chauffeuring her around.
This time in her life is so special and fleeting because she is free from needing her parents support for everything but she also doesn’t have the responsibilities of an adult yet. She is more connected to her friends and activities than anything else, which is a wonderful way for her to figure out who she is, what she wants, and to practice some independence.
But that doesn't mean you've finished raising her.
You have a real opportunity right now to impart wisdom that will last her the rest of her life. You have a chance to actually set her up for success in all of her future relationships going forward, both personally and professionally. As an adult male, you possess the valuable experience of understanding how men treat and perceive women.
Growing up, I received no guidance on dating, relationships, or how I should be treated. Many of us are just thrown into the deep end when it comes to relationships without any discussion at all. We learn as we go through our own awkward experiences and from what our friends tell us about theirs.
That means that the people who were teaching me how to be in relationships, what was expected of me, and what I should tolerate were just other thirteen-year-old idiots. All of these ridiculous boys that didn’t have a clue who they were or what was acceptable were laying the foundations for all of my future relationships. Talk about a recipe for building a life with shame, insecurity, and a lack of boundaries.
As a father, you have the unique opportunity to prepare your daughter for success in all her future relationships.
Instead of just throwing out one-liners like, “He better be nice to you,” consider making it a bit more formal and scheduling a weekly “date night” with your daughter. Be open and honest that the point of this time together is to teach her about healthy relationships and how she deserves to be treated.
Ideas to kick off your dad and daughter nights
1. Go on actual “dates” to show her what a gentleman is really like
Bring her flowers, open the door, pull out her chair, and ask her questions about herself.
If you don't teach her these skills now, she may believe that "Netflix and chill" is the only option available, which is too low of a standard for your girl.
2. Ask her about her experiences and stay calm and quiet while she is speaking
Really listen to her experience with love, dating, and friendships, as you would another adult. Be empathetic to her reality.
Don’t get angry. If you don’t like her answers, if you get angry while she is opening up, you will completely ruin her trust in you.
3. Talk about your own experiences, good and bad
Share the mistakes that you've made in relationships, the things you got right, and the times your heart was broken.
This will humanize you and bring you closer together.
4. When you do say a one-liner such as, “He better be nice to you,” take the time to explain what “nice” means
5. Talk about peer pressure, manipulation, gaslighting, stalking, reporting, posting t, power dynamics, and boundary setting
Even if you don’t know much about these topics, you can do your research beforehand and come prepared.
She’s not expecting you to be an expert, just a parent who is trying.
6. Remember all the dumb or mean things you did in relationships when you were young
And then think that some guy is going to say or do those same things to your daughter now.
How can you prepare her?
How can you set her up for success?
How can you empower her to make good choices for herself?
I wish all teenagers received this kind of education. None of us knew what we were doing, and yet we were creating lifelong beliefs about ourselves, love, and relationships with other people who didn’t know either.
Taking the time to show your daughter what love, respect, self-worth, and boundaries mean will set her up for a life of self-respect, deep connections, and lasting love. How’s that for a legacy?
If you're uncomfortable doing this alone, ask other adults for help. Maybe start a Dad and Daughter group or have your partner join you in the conversations. Any way you choose to explore this idea, she will feel special because you took the time to show her what she deserved, and she will remember your little nuggets of wisdom for the rest of her life.
If you're interested in working with Lark to create healthy, fulfilling relationships while increasing your emotional intelligence and confidence, reach out today for a free consultation and start your journey toward stronger connections and a more fulfilling life.
For more info about Lark Ericson, follow her on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook, and visit her website.
Lark Ericson, Relationship & Confidence Coach
Lark Ericson is on a mission to help shy and socially awkward people embrace their authentic selves and confidently navigate any social situation without fear of rejection or embarrassment. Lark understands that dating and networking can be daunting for those who aren't naturally outgoing or confident. Having once avoided socializing due to her own fear of rejection, Lark learned to embrace her "weirdness" and thrive in social settings, achieving success in both love and business. Now known for her confidence and ability to easily initiate conversations, Lark wants to teach others how to ignite their own social superpowers.
