7 Steps to Finding a Therapist Who Is the Right Fit for You

Written by Parveer Brar, Clinical Counsellor & Life Coach

Parveer is a Clinical Counsellor who integrates life coaching into her work with clients. She is the founder of Parveer Brar Counselling. Alongside her private practice, Parveer works as an Instructor for a Counselling Program.

Do you often think about starting counselling, but feel overwhelmed as to where to start? Are you wondering if there’s a therapist who will truly understand your concerns? It’s completely normal to feel hesitant about taking the first step toward seeking help. Opening up about your personal struggles or past traumas can be anxiety-inducing, and finding the right person to guide you through the journey can seem just as overwhelming. Additionally, if you’ve tried counselling before and had a negative experience, it’s understandable to feel resistant to trying again.

Suppose this is you, don't worry! In this article, we’ll provide you with 7 simple steps to help you find a counsellor who is the right fit for you.

What is a therapeutic alliance?

You might have heard the term therapeutic alliance, which is sometimes referred to as the therapeutic relationship. In counseling, this alliance is defined as a professional relationship built on trust, honesty, and confidentiality (Young, 2017). In simpler terms, when a client feels a genuine connection with their counselor, they are more likely to feel comfortable sharing their personal struggles. On the other hand, if the connection is weak or nonexistent, clients often drop out after just a few sessions (Young, 2017).

Imagine walking into a session where you feel judged or misunderstood. The chances of you returning to work with that counsellor are probably highly unlikely. The therapeutic relationship is not just important; it’s the foundation for meaningful change.

Benefits of a strong therapeutic alliance?

Research has shown that the therapeutic relationship is almost twice as influential as the specific techniques used in a session (Lambert, 1986). While you may be tempted to focus solely on a counselor’s credentials and expertise, it’s just as important to ensure you can connect with them for a successful therapeutic outcome.

A strong therapeutic alliance can transform your therapy experience in the following ways:

• Lower dropout rates

• Deeper exploration of emotions and trauma

• Active participation of the client

• Motivation for change

7 steps to finding the right counsellor for you

1. Government funded vs. private practice

• Government funded: One advantage of working with a counselor in a government agency is that it is free of charge. However, there are often long waitlists, and due to high demand, treatment is usually short-term (typically 6–10 sessions).

• Private practice: This type of counseling requires you to pay out-of-pocket. However, depending on your insurance, you may be reimbursed. It’s important to check your insurance coverage, as counseling rates can vary by location. Some counselors offer lower rates for clients without insurance, which can be discussed during a consultation (see Step 5). The advantage of private practice is that you can begin therapy right away, and there are no limits on the number of sessions.

2. Where to search for a counsellor

• Online platforms: Websites like Psychology Today let you search for a registered clinical counselor based on location, presenting issues, gender, cultural background, therapy modalities, and more. This ensures you’re working with a verified professional.

• Word of mouth: Referrals from friends or family who’ve had a positive experience can be a great starting point, especially if you’re looking for a counselor with specific expertise. However, remember that your connection with the therapist is key, so it's essential to complete the other steps in this guide.

• Google search: A simple Google search can lead you to a variety of therapists in your area. Many therapists have websites with detailed information about their qualifications, treatment approach, and areas of expertise.

3. Choosing the right setting (online vs. in-person)

• Online sessions: If you're hesitant to try online therapy but think it could work for you, rest assured that research has shown success rates for online therapy to be just as high as in-person therapy. Online therapy is especially beneficial for those who may be dealing with anxiety, phobias, or trauma, as it offers the comfort of attending sessions from home.

• In-person: If you prefer face-to-face interactions and feel you communicate more effectively in person, in-office sessions may be the right fit for you. Some clients opt for in-person therapy because they lack privacy at home and feel more comfortable discussing sensitive topics in a confidential office setting.

4. Considering the specifics

• Cultural background: Some clients prefer working with a counselor who shares their cultural or racial background, believing it fosters better understanding. While this can help some individuals, research suggests that expertise is more important than shared cultural background (Pedersen & Carey, 2003). Ultimately, it's about comfort and preference. If working with someone who shares your cultural background will enhance the therapeutic alliance, it’s worth considering.

• Modality: You may have a preference for a specific therapeutic approach, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is commonly used for anxiety and depression. Make sure your counselor has the training and experience in the approach you’re interested in.

• Language: If English isn’t your first language, or if you feel more comfortable expressing yourself in a different language, seek a counselor who speaks your preferred language. It’s essential that you can communicate freely during therapy.

5. Consultation

Most counselors offer a free 15-minute consultation, either by phone or in person. It’s a good idea to schedule consultations with multiple counselors (3 or more, if possible) to get a sense of who feels like the best fit.

The consultation will give you a brief overview of the counselor’s style and approach, allowing you to assess whether they’re a good match for your needs. You’ll also have the opportunity to ask any questions and address concerns before committing.

6. Initial session

The first session, often called an intake session, is where you start building the therapeutic alliance with your counselor. You will gain a sense of what it would be like to work with this counsellor and if it feels right for you. During this session, the counselor may ask several questions to understand your issues and begin creating treatment goals. It’s important to remember that you’re not obligated to share anything you’re not comfortable within the first session.

7. Continuing working with this counsellor or considering other options

At the end of your first session, the counselor may ask if you'd like to schedule the next appointment. Some therapists will recommend taking some time to process the session before rebooking. Remember, you have the right to end therapy or take a break at any time.

Finding the right therapist is a personal journey, and it's important to be patient with yourself throughout the process. Remember, it's okay to take your time, explore different options, and choose someone who feels like the right fit for you. Seeking help is a courageous first step, and with the right therapist by your side, you can work toward the healing and transformation you deserve.

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Read more from Parveer Brar

Parveer Brar, Clinical Counsellor & Life Coach

Parveer Brar is a dedicated therapist committed to empowering individuals on their journey toward healing and self-discovery. With a diverse background as a therapist, group facilitator, youth and child care worker, life coach, and instructor, she brings a wealth of experience and a unique perspective to her practice. Parveer specializes in creating strong, supportive connections with her clients, fostering a safe space where true healing can unfold. Her mission is to guide individuals in uncovering their authentic selves and building the resilience needed to thrive.

References:

• Lambert, M. J. (1986). Implications of psychotherapy outcome research for eclectic psychotherapy. In J.C. Norcross (Ed.), Handbook of eclectic psychotherapy (pp. 436-462). New York, NY: Brunner/ Mazel.

• Pedersen, P., & Carey, J. (2003). Multicultural counseling in schools (2nd ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

• Young, M. (2017). Learning the art of helping: Building blocks and techniques (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson.