Written by: Susan Hum, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A big buzz in the self-development world revolves around the search for more meaning and purpose in life. Although it is true that achieving a sense of fulfilment requires us to define our “purpose”, too many people go about it in all the wrong ways, causing more anxiety than necessary. Having worked with coaches for so many years, the main focus we embark on is purpose definition. My curiosity to understand why so many people run around in circles, driving themselves insane trying to find the instruction manual to living with purpose, led me to study the complexities of such a simple concept.
The Cambridge definition of purpose is a determination or a feeling of having a reason for what you do. How clear is that? Very, right? Nope. Yes, in theory we understand, but in practice? Not so much. So why do we complicate something that is so simple to understand?
It is important that we understand what purpose really is, rather than focusing too much on what it means. Let’s be clear on one thing: there is absolutely no self-help book out there that will tell you what your purpose is, and they certainly don’t tell you what you will feel like. In fact, the more you read about what purpose is or means, the more you run the risk of complicating the journey and confusing yourself.
Here are the three simple steps that will lead you towards getting more integrated with your purpose in life.
1. Stop searching, just DO:
Purpose is a sense of being, not a physical thing that you can see or find. Your sense of purpose is discovered through experience and wisdom.
There is a reason why the self-help market is expected to reach $14.0 billion by 2025 (source: Market Research). Millions of people are studying how to improve their mental and physical well-being and, don’t get me wrong, that is a wonderful thing. But an integral part of life and personal success is learning how to study about self-mastery.
Again, if the dictionary meaning of purpose is a feeling of having a reason for what you do, then achieving a life filled with meaning and purpose requires that you understand what you do and why you do things. Notice the one word that stands out the most: DO.
Taking intentional actions enables us to create results and experiences giving us the opportunity to become more aligned with our integrity. Although reading is still an action, spending too much time reading about this subject can become counterproductive if it hinders you from making decisions and taking action to move forward. This is called analysis paralysis.
Be intentional with what you choose to read and how you study, and be mindful of the decisions you make and the actions you take. Becoming more conscious is the key to revealing your purpose with greater ease.
This may be easier said than done for most people, and that is why seeking professional support (i.e., psychotherapists, life coaches, etc.) is important to help you get started on your self-discovery journey. These professionals will give you strategies on how to set clear goals, get you motived to take focused actions and keep you accountable to creating continuous wins.
2. Life is simple, NOT easy
Let’s make this super simple! There is only ONE purpose in life, and that is to be happy. Period. What is unique in each and every person is how they achieve their happiness. One of the laws of the Universe is the law of polarity. Without feeling sadness, one doesn’t embrace happiness. Without hate, one doesn’t value love. Without discomfort, one can’t appreciate comfort. Life is all about finding certainty in uncertainty. Without negative, there is no positive.
Everyone experiences hurt and pain, and we all know that is a normal part of life. However, too many of us respond to negative experiences by creating (albeit unconsciously) a purpose of avoiding future negative experiences. Avoidance is a strategy that is fuelled by fear. Instead, choose a different strategy that will inspire you to embrace all experiences that will lead you on a path of self-discovery.
One thing you can do to make this journey so much more enjoyable and inspiring are to surround yourself with people who are like-minded, like-hearted, and goals-oriented. We are not meant to live life alone.
3. Self-Compassion
Because the discovery of our purpose can take a long time for most people, managing our belief system, expectations and patience are key to staying on track towards revealing all things purposeful in our life.
Judgment cuts our connection to others and reduces our awareness of our environment. Life is all about taking risks, making decisions, and moving into action with the purpose of eliciting results. Where we can go wrong is when we judge negative results as failures, and then judge ourselves as failures. All results are simply the guardrails that keep you on track towards your vision and goals. Results by themselves are neither wrong nor right; they can be wrong or right depending on how they relate to who you are and what you want.
A journey is just that – a journey. Life is all about a constant series of actions creating subsequent responses all with only ONE objective… to create experiences for you to have the deepest understanding of yourself, and loving yourself enough to move through the journey of life without fear or judgment.
The greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to experience the vagaries of life with self-compassion. Allowing ourselves to sit long enough in that uneasiness with the purpose of understanding the cause and effect of our decisions and actions enables us to change what we need to change and pivot towards that desirable outcome.
Bring more joy and self-care into your daily practice. They don’t call it growth pains for no reason. There are certain pains that we just have to accept, but it doesn’t mean that we have to be a victim to those pains. Choose to respond by being solutions-oriented … that is when you will become unstoppable.
Susan Hum, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Susan Hum, aka the LoveHacker, is a thought leader and self-mastery expert specialized in the area of love and relationships with a specific focus on emotional intelligence. Her own personal journey in forming a unique voice and unraveling her personal truth led Susan to achieve success in all pillars of life – family, career, financial freedom, and most importantly, love and incredible relationships.
Susan´s success in helping high achievers attract more love and passion into their lives has led her to work with some very prominent leaders in business, sports, music, and Hollywood. In 2020, she created the Steel Rose Movement, a conscious leadership platform for women with a mission to elevate love consciousness in the world by narrowing all divides in society, whether between women, genders, races, cultures, identity preferences, or personal beliefs.
