Written by: Shan Merchant, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Amid the busyness and noise of everyday life, a relationship – and particularly the nurturing of it – can get lost. Routines, responsibilities, and the pressing practical demands of the outside world can plaster our to-do list with a constant barrage of urgent-but-not-that-important tasks.
Meanwhile, our fundamental life priorities wait at the bottom, unaddressed.
At the centre of this modern-life maelstrom is two people with a connection that was once strong, but slowly fading. We long for the emotional intimacy we once enjoyed with our partner.
How do I reconnect with my partner?
Reconnecting is not about making big gestures; it's a set of honest talks. It means peeling away the everyday routines and practicalities to rediscover what makes ’us’.
So, let's get straight to it. If you want to bring back that spark, here are 24 questions for couples to reconnect and statements to share with each other. They are designed to uncover what is being left unsaid, explore your shared history, and lead you toward a more connected future.
Questions for couples to reconnect
The part of our history together that I treasure the most is...
The quality I value the most in you is...
The time I feel most free is…
One thing I’d love you to love about me is…
If we had a time machine and could revisit any moment in our relationship and change a moment or decision, what would it be?
What's one small thing I do that makes you smile that I’m not aware of?
What's a childhood fear you had that you've never really talked about?
In my family the power lies with…
I’m most competitive when it comes to…
The place where I feel the most grounded and at peace is...
When faced with a challenge, my go-to coping mechanism is...
I feel most alive and connected to you when we're doing...
I secretly admire your ability to...
The moment when I knew I was in love with you was...
One thing from your past that you've never shared but I’ve always wondered about is…
Back in the day, I wish I could've clued in my younger self with this nugget of wisdom…
The way that I am most like my Mum or Dad that I don’t want to admit is…
What adventure would you love to have with me?
One thing I need to let go of is…
What was your biggest unfulfilled wish as a child?
Is there a memory from your school years that, despite the passing of time, you still feel a twinge of resentment or anger about?
The time I had the most fun with you was…
What's a shared goal or dream you have for our future, and how can we work towards it together?
If we were to create a quirky joint tradition that's uniquely ours, what would it be, and how would we celebrate it?
If you need help
If you’re a couple that needs help reconnecting and want to feel more affection, love and closeness in your relationship or marriage, I can help. Book a free 15-minute clarity call with me now here.
Shan Merchant, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shan is a relationship coach and couples therapist who takes professional couples from the brink of divorce to peaceful, reconnected, and unafraid of conflict in 90 days or less. Shan teaches couples a simple communication skill that takes them from the ‘Power Struggle’ to the ‘Peaceful’ stage of their relationship. Testimonials from her clients across the globe range from, “We put our wedding rings back on,” to “Things are a million times better between us.”
