Written by: Jean Fleming, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
1. Not managing your career
You are well established in your career, but you have got there by chance, not by design.
If you took time to really think about where you want your career to go, put a plan in place, and started sharing your ambitions with those who could help you, what direction would your career take?
2. Not setting boundaries
You don’t feel comfortable saying No! You don’t want to let people down. You want to be liked. You want to please people. So you squeeze more and more in and get more and more exhausted.
By not having your own boundaries you are not respecting yourself. Not respecting your own needs and wants. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect others to respect you.
Have a look at your calendar, what do you really want to say No to? As a start decline, one invite and see how liberating that feels.
3. Not being clear about the value you bring You feel uncomfortable sharing your successes, your wins, your achievements. You feel you are ‘blowing your own trumpet’ so you get your head down, roll up your sleeves and get on with the job. You expect to get recognised for your efforts – only you don’t! It is so easy to take yourself for granted, which of course, teaches others to take you for granted too. What can you share with others that show the value you add? What difference could that make in your career? Life? 4. Not asking for help You try to be superwoman. You think you should be able to cope. You should be able to work full time, organise the children, make sure they have everything they need for school, that they do their homework, that they are entertained, that the house is clean, the shopping is done, dinner is on the table, blah blah blah… We want to show we are capable, that we can do it all.
Asking for help is a sign of strength. What do you need help with and who can help you?
5. Making assumptions! We often tell ourselves I don’t know enough, I am not brave enough, I don’t have the time, they won’t want me, etc. The list is endless. The list is also unhelpful. Making these statements to ourselves can stop us from doing all sorts of things.
What if I told you none of these assumptions were true? What else could be true?
What else would you do if you freed yourself from these limiting beliefs?
6. Getting stuck in a rut
Time passes so quickly. You are stuck in the same routine, the same job, like a record playing on loop. Sleep, get up, work, organise, fall into bed, sleep and do it all again!
You hardly get time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. You don’t have time to get yourself out of that rut because you are busy living that rut.
There is a difference between being stuck and choosing to stay.
What do you want to choose?
7. You listen to your inner critic
You want to make a change but you’re too busy, don’t have the energy, the motivation, don’t know what change you want to make.
The voice in your head keeps telling you that you can’t change because you don’t know enough, you are not good enough, it won’t work, you will fail, you just need to achieve this before you can change. And you listen to that voice. You allow it to keep you stuck. You allow it to feed your fears.
Motivation is found when the purpose is discovered. Be clear about your purpose and it will drive you to overcome your fears and make the change.
8. Procrastinating
You know you want to get it done but you just can’t bring yourself to focus on it. You spend your time organising, planning, writing lists but not actually taking real action. If I just get this done then…
The only cure for procrastination is action. What action can you take today to help you progress?
9. Overwhelm
When we get overwhelmed we become indecisive, inefficient and stuck. This creates even more overwhelm. We tell ourselves, if I just get this done it will be ok, I will be on top of everything. Overwhelm is not cured by doing more.
Stop, take a break and recharge your batteries – taking time out will help you more in the long run!
10. Not prioritising yourself
You are too busy. Busy working, organising the children, the house, your social life, the admin of life, the list goes on… Constantly thinking of others before yourself. This leaves you tired, stretched, and unfulfilled.
Take a step back to reflect on you and your own needs, wants desires. What one thing could you do for yourself this week?
Jean Fleming, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jean Fleming is an Empowerment and Leadership Coach helping women to create the life they want. With over 30 years of business experience, Jean was the first woman to join the Board of a global company – a role she still fulfills 12 years later. Jean is an experienced ICF accredited Coach, a DiSC Profiler, an Emotional Intelligence EQi-2.0 Assessor, and a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD). Jean uses her extensive range of skills and experience to bring a dynamic and supportive service to her clients to help them identify and create the life they want.
