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# 1 Success Formula ‒ Bring Your Dreams To Reality By Giving Life To Your Goals

Written by: Bernice Fabi, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

 

Few things have equaled the incredible feeling of gratitude I had sitting on that mountain ledge taking in a spectacular view of Haleakala Crater on that clear Hawaiian day. That is until the guide shuffled us back to reality. That was it. We went up the mountain. Now we were headed down the mountain. View over.

This thought takes me to a holiday we had years ago with our daughters in Hawaii. Part of the pre-holiday planning involved booking a day trip for the time we were planning to be in Maui. We explored our options and decided on a horseback riding tour up and down the backside of Haleakala Crater. Our daughters were beyond excited! Being the only inexperienced rider in the family, I was leery (no, scared was more like it!) but I wanted more than ever to show my support to our young girls and husband. I knew they would all be thrilled to have me share their love for horses. So, our dream became a goal. I was far out of my comfort zone to even commit to such an adventure but realized my reason to make this happen ran far deeper than my fear. We made our plan and I made my plan. I did several riding lessons at home to get over my new rider jitters. I actually became more and more confident. My supporting squad, all the while, helping and cheering me on. I was finally ready for the real adventure.


The actual day was a perfect Hawaiian day, sunny and warm despite raining for several days beforehand. Albeit, I was still nervously saddled on a horse manoeuvring up and down some pretty steep muddy paths. The horses though were sure footed, calm and knew their way with confidence. They’d likely done this path hundreds of times. As the day wore on, I grew to be comfortable, relaxed, and quite enjoyed the experience. I also grew to trust my horse and where he was leading me, despite that I was holding the reins. I probably didn’t even need reins and they were more for my sake of feeling in control. I later tried handling them and my gosh, they actually worked! I was having fun!


I was thinking today how that entire adventure involved setting and accomplishing several goals. Some were the smallest steps. I’ve long forgotten about the details of the view but I remember clearly what was involved to get there. I still feel such gratitude for what I was able to overcome, the incredible support, the bonds formed along the way, the thrills of accomplishing even those smallest steps. We are far more likely to get to where we want to go when we plan, prepare, follow through and really live every experience along the way. Here’s a bit of a guide to help you along in your journey.


Set your goals using the SMART formula - This is the basic foundation for all goals. They must be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time bound. We booked the day trip and knew exactly when and where we were headed and what we planned to do. Consider who, what, where, when and how.


Know your “why” - Never lose sight of this. Why is your goal important to you? It’s important to reflect on this often. There will be hurdles and bumps along the way. When your “why” is strong enough, it’s less likely that you’ll give up on your goals. Make giving up hard. I was afraid of horses as I saw them as powerful and wild. I had had a bad experience years ago and wanted to overcome that. I wanted this to be a family adventure. My intent was to feel comfortable enough to make the most of this potentially fun and once in a lifetime experience. I had a choice to let them down or believe in myself.


Plan - Consider all that’s necessary for you to achieve your goal. Do you need to overcome any obstacles? Give thoughts to furthering your education, reorganizing your life and priorities, mental hurdles or maybe even setting boundaries for others or yourself. It may involve coaching and a great support system is always a benefit. Challenge yourself. What sacrifices are necessary? We saved for the trip. and planned our dates and time off. I took lessons with a trusted and capable riding coach. There was a lot of fear to overcome and confidence to gain before I would dare be on the back of a horse on any mountain path.


Prepare - Map out your journey. It’s not going to be a straight line and only on paper if it is. You may anticipate that at first, but it won’t work out that way. It just won’t. There will be winding roads and twists and turns and some three point turns. (Just like Maui! Whew!) Sometimes you’ll even feel you’re going in the wrong direction. Expect that to happen. Your plan should accommodate flexibility so you can redirect as necessary.


Execute - This is when you get to do the real work. It’s time to put your car in drive and start moving forward. Open the windows and smell the breeze. The joy is in the journey. Sometimes you’ll go highway speeds, other times you’ll be barely crawling or stopped. Occasionally you may need to back up and get out of a ditch. If it rains, close the windows. Get out your umbrella and put on sunscreen to protect yourself before the sun comes back out. This is where consistency, hard work and perseverance will never fail you. In my case it involved getting back on the horse, after being bucked off, and trotting on.


Revise (your plan if necessary) - Be flexible. Things may not go quite as planned. Maybe you need to revise the plan, reorganize, even alter the goal if necessary. That’s ok. You’re steering the car and it’s your life. Maybe half way there you decide you want to go bungee jumping instead of horseback riding. Believe me, I thought about it. In my case, I knew I had no other choice but to stay grounded and show the horse I was in control.


Celebrate - You worked hard for this. Celebrate not only the end result itself but what you learnt and achieved in all aspects of getting there. This includes the mistakes you made and overcame. This means celebrating along the way at every juncture. You have challenged yourself, faced hurdles, and accomplished lots. You have grown and continue to grow. Include your team! Mine loved milkshakes! I relaxed in epsom salt baths. Celebrate every success!


Evaluate (where you’ve been) - Take in the new view from where you are currently. Really enjoy it. Be inspired by everything around you and feel the joy of the moment. But don’t stop there. What did you enjoy most about getting to where you are? What did you least enjoy?! Look at this experience from every angle. I suggest journaling from your heart. There’s a lot of insight to be gained from your own reflections.


Re-evaluate (for where you’re heading) - Consider evaluating where you’re headed on your current path. Do you need to make any adjustments? What new experiences do you want to have? What would you do differently next time or in the next leg of your current journey? How would you prepare and plan differently? What new experiences would you like to have in the future? And what did you do well that you will continue to do?


There are a few primary reasons I believe we don’t succeed at our goals. First, they don’t follow the SMART formula. In other words, they’re vague. They’re wishful dreams. Put goals to pen and paper for success. Second, we get distracted and lose sight of what we need to do to get to where we need to go. Third, we don’t review our goals consistently. Especially when we set long term goals, consider that life changes and so do we. Never consider yourself a failure for not succeeding or not being where you expect to be at any point. Some of the greatest insights and opportunities have arisen from failure. This is only a reason for us to revisit our goals and modify them. Fourth, we often consider goal setting a mundane task. Make it fun. Plan an evening out or weekend away that’s focused on goal setting. Dream, determine your values, and where you want to be in one year, five years and ten years. Most importantly, how do you want to be and what difference do you want to make for the world or others? When we are clear about these big questions and revisit them often, it’s much easier to maintain a positive perspective and forge ahead, despite obstacles and setbacks that come our way.


Finally, when you get to the top of your mountain, stop to take in the view. Give gratitude and celebrate what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve gained in the process and who you’ve become as a person. Include your support system in your circle of gratitude. Gratefulness is a strong element of who we are and how we’re portrayed to the world. That outcome in itself is invaluable.


My overall advice is to do more than envision and strive for the end result of your goals. Bring life to your goals and set goals with the intent to live each day full out, while maintaining your values. When you reach your version of the mountain view and look out over the horizon, be grateful. Not only will you feel how great it is to be there, even for the moment, but more so, how great it was to get there. That’s success!


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Bernice Fabi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Bernice Fabi is a Purpose & Fulfillment Coach for women in business. She graduated as a Jay Shetty certified life and success coach and is currently being trained by Shirzad Chamine toward the goal of Positive Intelligence mental fitness certification. Bernice’s career background involved 20 years in banking which included team management and business lending. Currently, she’s an entrepreneur, alongside her husband, with experience in real estate investment and service based sectors.


Bernice helps her clients to discover their potential and break free of what’s holding them back in life so they can discover true happiness and freedom.

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