Written by Jessie Rose, Relationship Identity Breakthrough Coach Jessie Rose, a Relationship and Identity Coach, helps individuals overcome emotional and physical barriers to unlock their true potential. Through her personalized coaching programs, she empowers clients to achieve lasting transformation in their relationships, health, and overall well-being. At some point, you may notice that you are no longer responding to yourself in the way you once did. Not because you have chosen to ignore what you feel, but because your attention has gradually shifted outward. What is happening internally becomes less immediate. Decisions are made more from what is expected, required, or familiar, rather than from what is actually being experienced in the moment. Recognizing shifts in self-love This movement does not happen all at once. It develops over time, often in response to environments where maintaining connection, stability, or safety required adjustment. Emotional responses are contained, needs are minimised, and internal cues are set aside in order to navigate what is in front of you. At the time, this is adaptive. It allows you to function. But gradually, the relationship with your own experience becomes less direct. From there, what is often described as a lack of self-love begins to appear. In reality, it is not an absence of care. It is a disruption in connection. The body continues to register and respond to everything you experience. Not only through thought, but through sensation, emotional shifts, and changes in physiological state. These responses are part of a wider system that interprets information and signals how to respond. This intelligence is not confined to the mind. It is distributed throughout the body, including the nervous system, the gut, and the heart. Each contributes their own experience of your reality to how you orient, decide, and engage with the world around you. When access to these systems is clear, there is a natural sense of direction. Choices feel grounded. Responses are more immediate. There is less reliance on over-analysis and more capacity to respond in real time. When past experience remains active within the system, however, that clarity becomes less accessible. Unresolved emotional material, what can be understood as interference, alters how signals are received and interpreted. Information may be delayed, overridden, or questioned. The connection between what is felt and how it is acted upon weakens. From the outside, this can resemble a lack of self-love. Internally, it is a breakdown in communication. Shifting this does not come from adding new behaviours or trying to think differently. It comes from restoring access, allowing the system to register and respond with greater accuracy again. This begins with noticing, not correcting, not forcing. Simply allowing what is already present to become more visible. As this develops, changes begin to emerge. There is less distance between the intelligence systems and your experience, and response. Decisions begin to reflect internal alignment rather than external pressure. Situations that once felt manageable may no longer feel sustainable. What you tolerate starts to shift. This is not driven by effort. It reflects increased coherence within the system. In my own experience, this did not come from trying to improve myself. It came through reconnecting with my body in a way that allowed it to regulate and recover, not through control, but through the removal of what had been interfering with that process. This is something I now see consistently. The system does not need to be taught how to function. It needs to be able to function without obstruction. When that begins to happen, the changes extend beyond the relationship with self. Interactions feel different. Tolerance for misalignment reduces. There is less inclination to override what is recognised internally. Remaining connected, even when something is uncomfortable, becomes more possible. From here, the idea of self-love becomes less relevant as a concept. It becomes visible in behaviour, in decisions, in how you respond to yourself in moments that matter. This does not remove challenge or discomfort, but it alters the way both are experienced. What was once managed becomes understood. What was once avoided becomes accessible. What was once disconnected begins to integrate. From that place, the language of self-love begins to fall away, not because it no longer matters, but because it is no longer absent. A final reflection Perhaps self-love is not something to develop, but something that becomes visible when nothing is interrupting your connection to yourself. So it becomes something to return to. Reflect on this Where do you move away from your own experience? What do you notice but not act on? What changes when you allow yourself to remain present with what you feel? If you’d like to explore more or work with Jessie Rose, take a look here and book a free transformative discovery call. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jessie Rose Jessie Rose, Relationship Identity Breakthrough Coach Jessie Rose is an award-winning, UK-based, international-level Identity/ Relational Intelligence Transformational Coach in the field of Wellbeing and Personal Development. Through her work, integrating several processes rooted in science, she supports individuals to break through limitations by reconnecting with their inner intelligences, their own capacity for self-regulation, self-healing, and meaningful change across relationships, health, performance, and purpose.

Brainz Magazine Exclusive Interview Phillip Shoemaker spent years at the center of one of the most consequential trust systems ever built - Apple's App Store. As Director of App Store Review, he oversaw the processes that determined what millions of people could and couldn't download onto their devices. After leaving Apple in 2016, he moved deeper into the identity space, serving as Executive Director of Identity.com, a non-profit pioneering decentralized identity verification on the blockchain. Today, he is the founder of PersonaShield, a platform built to detect and counter AI-generated identity fraud. His path into this work isn't purely professional - he has been SIM-swapped, impersonated, and found his own complete identity profile for sale online for fifteen dollars. That experience, as much as anything, explains why he's building what he's building. Phillip Shoemaker You were instrumental in shaping the early days of the App Store. What lessons from that experience still guide how you approach innovation today? The single biggest lesson from the App Store years is that trust is infrastructure. Everything we built at App Store Review came down to one question: Do users trust what they're downloading? That wasn't a marketing problem. It was an engineering, policy, and human judgment problem all at once. What I carry forward is this: the bad actors never stop innovating. During my time running reviews, I watched developers fingerprint our reviewer devices, build time-bomb code that only activated after approval, and flip server switches the moment an app went live. These weren't amateurs. They were brilliant engineers who studied our systems more carefully than we did. That experience taught me that you can never build a wall and walk away. Security, trust, and integrity require constant re-examination. The moment you think you've solved it, someone is already two steps ahead. The other lesson is that the 2% problem is universal. At Apple, I'd say we built the review process to find the 2% of developers doing bad things. But we put the 98% of legitimate developers through the wringer to get there. Any platform, any company, any system has a version of that tradeoff. How you protect against the bad minority without crushing the good majority defines whether you build something lasting or just something fast. "Trust is infrastructure. The moment you think you've solved it, someone is already two steps ahead." What do you believe most people still misunderstand about digital identity in today's world? Most people think of identity as something they own. It's not. Right now, your identity is distributed across hundreds of corporate databases you've never visited and agreed to in terms of service you never read. It's in Equifax's systems, your carrier's records, data broker profiles, ad networks, and breach repositories circulating on the dark web. You are not in control of your own identity. Companies are. And they are not protecting it well. The second misunderstanding is that a breach is an event. People hear "Equifax was hacked" and think: bad thing happened, it's over. But stolen data doesn't expire. It flows into criminal marketplaces, gets combined with data from other breaches, and gets weaponized months or years later. I personally found my own complete identity profile for sale online for fifteen dollars. Not because of anything I did wrong. Because the systems that were supposed to hold my data securely failed repeatedly, and the data ended up somewhere it was never supposed to be. And the newest misunderstanding is the most dangerous: people think that if someone impersonates them, it requires stealing something. It doesn't anymore. AI has crossed a threshold where an attacker needs only a few seconds of your voice or a handful of your photos to generate a convincing fake. For the first time in history, they don't steal your identity. They generate it. That is a fundamentally different threat model, and most people's defenses are built for the old one. Through your work in blockchain and decentralized systems, what shift do you believe we're currently living through, and how should founders position themselves for it? We are living through the end of the honeypot era, although it's taking longer than I like. For decades, the dominant model for identity, data, and trust has been centralization: one company collects everything, stores it in a giant database, and hopes they can protect it. That model has failed, repeatedly and catastrophically. The breaches aren't bugs. They are the predictable consequence of building systems that make enormous repositories of sensitive data attractive targets. Decentralized architecture removes the honeypot. If there is no central vault, there is nothing for attackers to raid at scale. That's why I was the Executive Director of identity.org and why I remain convinced that self-sovereign identity is not a buzzword. It is the only architectural approach that actually solves the underlying problem rather than patching it. For founders, the positioning opportunity is in building a trust infrastructure for the decentralized transition. The companies that win in the next decade won't just offer features. They'll offer verifiable proof. Proof that you are who you say you are. Proof that a document hasn't been altered. Proof that a voice or video is authentic. The technical foundation exists. What's missing is the user layer on top of it, and that's where builders should be looking right now. You've built, advised, and scaled across multiple industries. What separates companies that truly "break through" from those that never quite get there? Specificity. Companies that break through know precisely who they are failing to protect, precisely what the gap is, and precisely why existing solutions miss it. The ones that don't make it tend to solve a general problem for a general audience. There's no urgency in general. As we built PersonaShield, I've watched the deepfake fraud landscape develop for years and couldn't find a single integrated system that did three things together: establish your authenticated baseline before an attack, detect fabrications as they appeared across the web, and support removal with the documentation platforms actually require. Every tool I found did one piece. Nobody had connected them. That specific gap is what the company was built to fill. The second separator is founder credibility with the problem. Not just expertise in the domain, but personal experience with the cost of not having a solution. I was SIM-swapped. I was impersonated. I found my identity for sale. That isn't a marketing story. It's the reason I know exactly what the product needs to do and why it matters. Leadership in fast-moving tech environments often requires making decisions without perfect information. How do you personally navigate high-stakes uncertainty? I default to the reversible. In any fast-moving situation, the first question I ask is: which decisions can be undone and which ones can't? Resources spent on reversible bets can be recovered. Reputational damage, broken trust, and catastrophic security failures often can't. So I bias toward moving fast on the reversible and moving very deliberately on anything that touches trust, safety, or the user's fundamental wellbeing. The second thing I do is compress the time between assumption and evidence. At App Store Review, we had no choice. Every day, we were making judgment calls on tens of thousands of apps with incomplete information. What we got good at was building feedback loops fast: deploy a countermeasure, see how developers responded, adjust. It was an adversarial environment that forced us to treat every decision as a hypothesis rather than a conclusion. The thing I'd caution against is the reflex to wait for consensus. In high-stakes uncertainty, by the time everyone agrees on what to do, the moment has usually passed. You need a point of view, a reason for it, and the discipline to act on it while remaining genuinely open to being wrong. Your career has been defined by pushing boundaries and challenging systems. What drives that mindset, and how can others cultivate it? Honestly, it started with irritation more than ambition. When I saw what was happening inside App Store Review, the sophistication of the attacks, the creativity of the deception, the real harm to real people, I couldn't settle for the obvious response. Obvious responses are what the bad actors have already planned for. So I kept asking: what do they not expect us to do? That pattern followed me. When I found my own identity for sale online, the obvious response is to be a victim. The non-obvious response is to spend years building a system that changes the equation for everyone who comes after you. For other people who want to cultivate that mindset, I'd suggest two things. First, stay close to the problem. The further you get from the actual harm, the more comfortable it is to accept partial solutions. Staying in proximity to what's broken keeps urgency alive. Second, develop a healthy disrespect for the way things are currently done. Most systems weren't designed thoughtfully. They accumulated. And accumulated systems have accumulated blind spots. Look for those blind spots. That's where the work is. "For the first time in history, they don't steal your identity. They generate it. That is a fundamentally different threat model, and most people's defenses are built for the old one." Looking ahead, what opportunities do you see emerging at the intersection of AI, blockchain, and identity? The most important opportunity is provenance. As AI-generated content becomes indistinguishable from reality, the thing that will have genuine value is verified origin. Where did this image come from? Was this voice recorded or synthesized? Is this document authentic? Right now, we have almost no reliable infrastructure for answering those questions at scale. Blockchain gives you an immutable record. AI gives you the detection capability. Identity infrastructure gives you the verified source. Put those three together, and you have the foundation for a trust layer the internet has never actually had. The second opportunity is in the personal security space, specifically. The threat model has changed faster than the defense products have. Deepfake fraud losses hit roughly $6.9 billion globally in 2024. Consumer-grade tools that can clone a voice or generate a synthetic face are available for $10 a month or free on trial. The barriers to attack are approaching zero, but the barriers to defense are still too high for most people. The companies that can make serious protection accessible to ordinary people, not just enterprises and governments, will build something very large. That's precisely the market PersonaShield is going after, and the timing has never been more urgent. The intersection of AI, blockchain, and digital identity is no longer a theoretical concern; it's where some of the most consequential battles of our time are being fought. What comes through clearly in this conversation is that the threat has outpaced the defense, and most people haven't noticed yet. PersonaShield is one of the few companies building specifically for that gap. Whether it's the right moment for a product like this isn't really a question anymore — the only question is who gets there first. To learn more, visit Phillip´s website.

Da Rep Ute Able Vol 3 Tears Still Invincible is a 174-page reputable, real-life memoir written by Julius Clark Jones. Released in late December 2024 by Victory Publishing Company Inc., the book provides a raw look into the author's real life. It chronicles his transformation from an inner city gang member to a community beacon of hope. Book summary and details The memoir outlines the true crime realities of the author's past and subsequent redemption. The Catalyst: At just 10 years old, Jones entered the drug trade to help his mother pay backed up bills. Street and Gang Life: He became heavily entrenched in the streets as a member of the West Side 30's Fruit Town Brim (36th Street) chapter in Jersey City, New Jersey. Legal Troubles: His street operations led to intensive tracking by gang task forces and federal agents. He eventually faced two first degree murder ("187") cases. Incarceration and Turning Point: While serving time in State and Federal prisons, specifically Otisville Federal Prison, he had to watch his daughters grow up through photographs. He found his true calling after taking a business management class while behind bars. Redemption and Giving Back: Following his release, Jones shifted his life toward gang prevention and intervention. He now travels to speak at high schools, colleges, and community centers to guide at-risk youth. What people are saying (reviews and feedback) Readers, community figures, and peers have shared highly supportive feedback. An Inner City Inspiration: Reviewers on platforms like Barnes and Noble describe it as an inspirational autobiography that will "motivate any inner city kids around the world". Readers note that it serves as a blueprint on "how to never give up on your dreams and purpose". A Real Page-Turner: Audience members call it an action-packed, fast-paced "tear jerker" that they simply could not put down. Peer Respect: Fellow community voices and peers like "Big Kay'Bee" and "Chucky Cheese" have publicly congratulated Jones. They note that he has successfully transitioned into a "beacon of light and hope for others". They praise him for putting out a story that "people need to know". A Powerful Testimony: Broadly, readers view the book as an unfiltered window into the soul of a man who refused to let prison or past trauma define him, turning his deepest wounds into wisdom. Available on Books-A-Million, Powell's Books, Walmart, Bookshop.org, Amazon, etc. all platforms. Media contact Website

Peter Boeckel works at the intersection of design, systems thinking, and emerging technology. With a global career spanning industries from medical technology to workplace design, his work has evolved from creating products to exploring how systems, decisions, and ways of thinking shape what gets built in the first place. In this interview, he reflects on the growing gap between technological capability and human understanding, the role of judgment in an automated world, and why the future of education may be the most critical design challenge ahead. Peter Adam Boeckel, Designer, Futurist, Educator, & Entrepreneur You built a global career early on by building products and leading design teams in corporates and start-ups. Today, your work has moved beyond traditional design. You seem less interested in creating products and more in understanding how things come into being. What question are you really trying to answer? I still love creating products of all kinds, but there is certainly a pursuit of something deeper. The question underneath everything is, how do things take shape before they become visible? Products are just the surface. What interests me is the layer beneath that, the forces, decisions, constraints, and beliefs that quietly shape what eventually gets built. Over time, I’ve realized that most outcomes are not determined at the point of execution, but much earlier, in how a problem is framed, what is considered important, and what is ignored. This has shifted my focus from designing artifacts to understanding systems of thought. Whether it is a medical device, a workplace, or an educational program, the same pattern appears. What we build reflects how we think, individually and collectively. So the real question is not how to design better products, but how to develop the kind of thinking that leads to better decisions before anything is designed at all. There’s a sense that we can build far more than we can comprehend. What are we missing as this gap widens? We are missing the capacity to fully grasp the consequences of what we create, especially in times of major technological shifts, whether it is the internet or AI. Technology has accelerated to a point where building is no longer the constraint. We can prototype, simulate, and deploy at incredible speed. But comprehension does not scale in the same way. Human understanding still operates on slower cognitive, social, and ethical cycles. This creates a growing imbalance. Systems become more complex, more autonomous, and more interconnected, while our ability to reason about them remains limited. In that space, decisions become more fragile, even if they appear technically sound. What’s missing is not more capability, but deeper judgment. The ability to hold complexity, anticipate second and third order effects, and make decisions without full information, combined with a collective moral compass that we seem to be losing. I believe design is moving into that space. It is less about shaping objects and more about navigating uncertainty, shaping systems, and connecting them to responsibility and long term viability. “We are no longer limited by what we can build, but by what we are able to understand.” You’ve described design as moving from output to judgment. What does good judgment look like in a world shaped by autonomous systems? Good judgment today is less about having the right answer and more about knowing where to intervene. We will automate wherever there are strong incentives to do so. I believe we are heading toward a future where most of what we consume, use, and interact with will be designed and produced by autonomous systems with minimal human input. In this scenario, designers are no longer directly controlling outcomes. They are shaping conditions, setting boundaries, and defining how systems behave over time. Good judgment means understanding not just what a system does, but how it adapts, where it might fail, and how people respond to it. It requires making decisions that account for ambiguity. It also requires restraint. Not everything that can be built should be built. Your work is expanding into education, systemic change, and even shaping policies. What feels most outdated in how we prepare designers today? We still prepare designers for a world where the primary challenge is execution. But we should zoom out beyond design education. Education focuses on tools, processes, and outputs. Students learn how to create, but not how to decide. They are trained to solve problems, but rarely to question how those problems are defined. What’s missing is the development of judgment. The ability to navigate ambiguity, synthesize across domains, and understand broader systems. If the future is about shaping complex systems, education needs to shift from teaching skills to developing ways of thinking. As a result, we end up producing capable individuals who can execute well, but often struggle to operate in complexity or take ownership of direction when the path is unclear. If we were to rethink design education from first principles, what would need to change? We would start by asking a different question, not what people should know, but how they should learn to think. Education would become less about disciplines and more about developing the ability to move between them. Students would work on real systems and understand context, constraints, and consequences. Learning would no longer be front loaded into a degree. It would be continuous and adaptive. The goal should be to develop generalists who can operate across disciplines alongside autonomous systems. This also means placing more emphasis on reflection and synthesis, helping individuals understand why decisions are made, not just how to execute them. You’re exploring new approaches to learning that move beyond traditional disciplines. What gap are these trying to address? They are addressing the gap between knowledge and application. We have more information than ever, but that does not lead to better decisions. The missing layer is the ability to integrate knowledge across contexts. The aim is not to transfer knowledge, but to develop capability and independent value creation. I believe that “Serial Entrepreneurship 2.0” will become the default model for creating value in the future. Traditional education evaluates performance within isolated disciplines, while real world problems require synthesis across them. New learning environments need to reflect this reality, allowing individuals to operate without clear answers and build confidence in navigating uncertainty. A key part of this will be developing an understanding of oneself and having an extended awareness of how one’s mind and emotions work. What do you see as potential consequences if future education does not adjust fast enough? I think the biggest challenge in the next 10 years is how to avoid, or at least soften, the fall into major societal instability. Instability driven by fragmentation, economic pressure, and loss of purpose. Work has long provided structure and meaning. It provides a rhythm for societies, getting up, commuting, being engaged with others, and so on. As that erodes, we must replace it with new forms of purpose. If we succeed, individuals will create meaning independently. If not, instability will increase. The question is whether we can build new systems of purpose and value creation fast enough to replace what is being lost. As machine intelligence becomes more capable across domains, how do you see the relationship between human intuition and machine generated knowledge evolving? I would describe this relationship as a gradient. It begins as complementary, but becomes increasingly demanding. Machine intelligence is rapidly becoming capable of generating knowledge, options, and even entire systems at a scale no individual can match. This is not entirely negative. In design, for example, autonomous systems could create high quality services and interfaces instantly, making well designed public systems accessible to everyone. The cost of most design work will likely collapse to a fraction of what it is today. This shifts the human role away from producing and toward interpreting, selecting, and deciding. In that context, intuition becomes more important. But it needs to be understood correctly. It is not guesswork or instinct. It is pattern recognition built through experience and exposure to complexity. It helps identify what matters when full understanding is not possible. At the same time, there is a risk. As systems become more capable, they also become more convincing. Without strong judgment, it becomes easy to accept outputs without questioning them. The increasing synthetic nature of news cycles is an early signal of this shift. The challenge is not to compete with machines, but to remain cognitively engaged. Those who can use machine intelligence as amplification without losing their ability to think will remain relevant. If careers are no longer stable structures, how should individuals rethink identity, learning, and their role in the world? I believe future learning comes down to the ability to continuously reinvent oneself while repeatedly finding purpose. For a long time, identity has been closely tied to what we do. Job titles, industries, and career paths have provided structure and stability. That model is starting to break down. I believe we will continue to see the traditional idea of a career path dissolve down to the atomic level of work. Instead of working for companies, people will increasingly work on projects, some lasting weeks, others months or longer. Often self initiated, formed in small teams, and dissolved once their purpose is fulfilled. Work becomes less about belonging to an organization and more about contributing to a sequence of evolving contexts. As careers become more fluid, individuals need to become comfortable reinventing themselves repeatedly. This is not just practical, but psychological. Letting go of a fixed identity creates space for adaptability. This requires a different relationship with learning. Learning can no longer happen in phases. It must become continuous, self directed, and closely tied to real world applications. At the same time, individuals need to develop an internal sense of direction that is not dependent on external structures. When roles become temporary, clarity must come from within. “The ability to reinvent oneself is no longer optional. It becomes a fundamental capability.” This is also the area I actively work in, partnering with universities and institutions to rethink how education can support continuous reinvention and independent thinking in a rapidly changing world. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn and visit my website for more info! Read more from Peter Adam Boeckel

Written by Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach Eljin is a transformative personal development coach from the Midlands, England, and the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme. For over 16 years, Eljin has guided people to release what’s holding them back, rediscover their purpose, and create life-changing transformation. We’ve been taught that intelligence determines success. From an early age, we are measured by grades, performance, and cognitive ability. IQ has long been positioned as the defining factor of achievement. Yet, in reality, many highly intelligent individuals still struggle with stress, relationships, decision-making, and their inner world. So the question becomes, "Is intelligence really the problem or are we missing something deeper?" The answer lies in what we call emotional intelligence. What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence (EQ) is commonly defined as the ability to recognise, understand, regulate, and influence emotions, both your own and those of others. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularised the concept, identified four core components: Self-awareness Self-management Social awareness (empathy) Relationship management However, from a practical and transformational perspective, there is a more powerful way to understand it. Emotional intelligence is not intelligence, it is awareness. Awareness of what you feel. Awareness of why you feel it. Awareness of how it influences your behaviour. Without awareness, there is no regulation. Without regulation, even the highest IQ struggles to translate into meaningful outcomes. Why do people struggle with emotional intelligence? The challenge is not capability, it is conditioning. 1. We are not taught emotional literacy Most people are never taught how to identify or articulate emotions. Research shows that individuals with higher emotional granularity, the ability to distinguish between emotions like frustration, disappointment, or overwhelm, have better psychological regulation and resilience. Yet many people say, “I don’t know what I’m feeling.” “I just feel off.” This reflects a lack of emotional vocabulary, not a lack of intelligence. 2. Autopilot Living Modern life conditions people into constant doing. We move from task to task, rarely pausing to check in with ourselves. This creates what can be described as a state of mindlessness, operating on autopilot while disconnected from internal experience. Neuroscience supports this. The brain’s default mode network (DMN) is associated with habitual thinking and rumination. Without conscious awareness, people remain trapped in repetitive thought loops rather than present moment experience. 3. Over identification with thought Many people attempt to “think their way out” of emotional discomfort. They ruminate, analyse, and spiral, believing more thinking will solve the problem. In reality, this often amplifies distress. Cognitive science shows that rumination is strongly linked to anxiety and depression. The issue is not thinking itself, it is the attachment to thought as truth. 4. Lack of self compassion If someone is constantly judging themselves, they will struggle to empathise with others. Research demonstrates that self compassion is directly linked to emotional resilience, reduced anxiety, and improved wellbeing. Without internal safety, emotional awareness feels threatening, so people suppress, avoid, or deny what they feel. 5. Cultural and environmental factors Education systems, social media, and societal pressures reinforce performance over presence. We are trained to achieve, but not to understand ourselves. The result? High performance, low emotional resilience, constant stimulation, minimal reflection, and external validation, internal disconnection. The reframe: Emotional intelligence is a trainable skill One of the most important truths is this. There is nothing “broken or wrong” with people, they simply haven’t been taught. Emotional intelligence is not fixed. It is not something you either have or do not have. It is a skill set that can be developed through intentional awareness and practice. When it is developed, it transforms not just how you feel, but how you live. The four pillars of emotional intelligence To build emotional awareness and mastery, we can break EQ into four core pillars. Self-awareness: Recognising your emotions in real time. Self-management: Regulating your responses rather than reacting impulsively. Social awareness: Understanding others’ emotions and perspectives (empathy). Relationship management: Communicating effectively and navigating interpersonal dynamics. These pillars form the foundation, but development requires practical application. Practical strategies to improve emotional intelligence 1. Emotional labelling Start by identifying what you feel in the moment. Ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? Can I be specific? For example, not just “bad”, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed. Research shows that labelling emotions reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain’s threat centre, and increases regulation via the prefrontal cortex (Lieberman et al., 2007). You cannot regulate what you cannot identify. 2. Create a pause before reacting Between stimulus and response, there is a gap. In that gap lies emotional control. Practical tools include taking a slow breath, counting to 5 before responding, and delaying reactive communication. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing emotional reactivity and improving decision making. 3. Reframe your internal narrative Your emotions are influenced by your interpretation of events. For example, “This is a disaster” leads to anxiety, while “This is challenging, but manageable” leads to composure. This process, known as cognitive reappraisal, is one of the most effective emotional regulation strategies in psychology. 4. Practice acceptance instead of resistance Many people try to avoid or suppress emotions. But research shows that emotional suppression increases psychological distress (Gross, 1998). A more effective approach is to notice the emotion, allow it to be present, and remove judgement. What you resist persists. What you allow begins to dissolve. 5. Strengthen the mind body connection Emotions are not just mental, they are physiological. Practices that improve awareness include mindfulness meditation, breathwork, with longer exhales to regulate the nervous system, and body scanning. Studies show that mindfulness increases activity in brain regions associated with emotional regulation and self awareness (Hölzel et al., 2011). 6. Reflective journaling Create space to process your internal world. Daily, write freely without filtering. Weekly, review patterns in thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. This builds meta awareness, the ability to observe yourself objectively. 7. Build psychological safety Emotional growth requires a sense of safety. This includes safe environments, supportive relationships, and a non judgmental internal dialogue. Without safety, the nervous system remains in protection mode, limiting emotional awareness. 8. Develop emotional expression and boundaries Emotional intelligence is not just internal, it must be expressed. Practice Honest communication, Assertiveness, Setting clear boundaries. This strengthens both self respect and relational clarity. Final thought: You are not your emotions One of the most transformative shifts is this. You are not your emotions, you are the awareness experiencing them. Saying “I am anxious” creates identity. Saying “I feel anxious” creates separation. This distinction is subtle, but powerful. Emotions are temporary. They move, shift, and evolve. But awareness remains constant. Closing Emotional intelligence is not about controlling how you feel. It is about understanding, allowing, and responding with awareness. When you develop that awareness. Your relationships improve. Your decision making sharpens. Your stress decreases. Your performance increases. In many ways, this is the foundation that allows your intelligence, your IQ, to truly flourish. Because success is not just about how well you think. It is about how well you understand yourself. Follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Eljin Keeling-Johnson Eljin Keeling-Johnson, Personal Development Coach In 2005, Eljin walked into therapy battling anxiety, depression, and drug addiction. What began as a search for healing became a profound journey of self-discovery. Emerging with a renewed sense of purpose, he dedicated his life to helping others find their true selves and step into their full potential. Over the past 16 years, Eljin has delivered more than 16,000 hours of transformative coaching, blending conscious, subconscious, and unconscious work to create deep, lasting change. As the visionary behind the Alignment Method programme, his mission is simple yet powerful, to help people connect, grow, and thrive.

Written by Janie Terrazas, The Mindfulness Coach Janie Terrazas is a Mindfulness Coach and creator of PazMesa, a self-mastery guide to help you access inner peace, joy, vitality, and prosperity through mindful living and unconditional loving. Many people enter relationships seeking love, connection, safety, and belonging. Only to discover that intimacy also exposes unresolved wounds, attachment fears, nervous system patterns, emotional immaturity, and unconscious survival behaviors. This is one of the great paradoxes of human love. Love can feel heavenly, yet intimacy often initiates some of the deepest transformational work of our lives. From a psychological, emotional, and spiritual perspective, conscious connections become mirrors. They reveal not only our capacity to love, but also unresolved pain, emotional triggers, attachment conditioning, communication patterns, fear based coping mechanisms, and relationship with ourselves. What begins as attraction often becomes an invitation into emotional healing, self awareness, nervous system regulation, relational maturity, and spiritual growth. One of the most uncomfortable truths about intimacy is this. Your partner will eventually mirror back the unresolved, unseen, wounded, underdeveloped, and unintegrated parts of yourself. Not because love is punishment, but because true intimacy naturally illuminates what casual connections allow us to avoid. What intimacy truly means One of the most misunderstood words in relationships is intimacy. Many people associate it only with sex, physical affection, attraction, or romantic chemistry. But true intimacy is far more holistic than physical closeness alone. When I work with couples or individuals seeking to improve their connection skills, one of the first questions I often ask is, “How do you personally define intimacy?” Many people pause when asked about intimacy, not because it is unimportant, but because they have rarely been invited to mindfully explore what intimacy truly means. My PazMesa Partnership program, Mindful Love, Building Safe REALationships That Thrive, is designed to help individuals and couples deepen every layer of authentic intimacy. From a PazMesa perspective, intimacy is far more than physical closeness. Into me you see. It is the courageous willingness to truly know yourself while also allowing yourself to be genuinely seen, understood, and experienced by another human being. True intimacy within a partnership includes emotional transparency, psychological honesty, spiritual openness, physical presence, energetic safety, sexual awareness, and conscious connection. At its core, intimacy is about creating a relationship where both people feel safe enough to remove the masks, soften the defenses, communicate truthfully, and connect authentically across the mind, body, heart, and soul. It requires cultivating enough self awareness to understand what makes you feel emotionally safe and seen, what dysregulates your nervous system, what wounds still need healing, what your authentic needs and boundaries are, and what helps you thrive mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and relationally. PazMesa intimacy is holistic. It is not merely physical access to another person’s body. It is safe access to one another’s inner world, fears, insecurities, dreams, emotions, truth, and humanity. This level of transparency can exist within romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, and meaningful human connections. Emotionally safe platonic intimacy can be deeply healing because it reminds human beings they are worthy of connection beyond performance, possession, or physicality. True intimacy is not about ownership. It is about resonance. This is precisely why intimacy becomes such a powerful mirror for growth. Because being truly seen often activates fear, vulnerability, shame, grief, insecurity, and protective survival strategies. Intimacy exposes where love can flow freely and where fear still interrupts connection. Why relationships become mirrors When we are alone, we can maintain certain illusions about ourselves. We may believe we are emotionally available, patient, secure, healed, communicative, or self aware. But intimacy exposes truth, especially sustained intimacy. Close relationships activate deeply embedded fears, including abandonment, rejection, inadequacy, vulnerability, betrayal, invisibility, and loss of control. Conflict and closeness often activate survival responses formed long before the current relationship existed. This is why emotional reactions can sometimes feel disproportionate to the present moment. The body remembers what the conscious mind may not fully recognize. This is why relationships often become some of the greatest spiritual classrooms on Earth. 1. They mirror your unresolved wounds Your triggers often reveal where pain still exists, where shame still lives, where fear still governs, and where the nervous system still feels unsafe. A partner may unknowingly illuminate abandonment wounds, betrayal wounds, rejection wounds, unworthiness, control issues, emotional dependency, or self abandonment patterns. The trigger itself is not always the enemy. Sometimes it is information, an invitation into vaster awareness. 2. They mirror your capacity for emotional regulation Conflict reveals emotional maturity more clearly than comfort ever will. Relationships expose your nervous system conditioning, ability to self soothe, tolerance for discomfort, emotional maturity, and capacity for accountability. Do you attack, collapse, shut down, manipulate, avoid, people please, dissociate, or remain grounded and curious? Healthy communication and emotional regulation are not built through avoiding conflict, but through learning how to remain mindful during it. 3. They mirror your relationship with self worth The way someone tolerates disrespect, inconsistency, dishonesty, emotional unavailability, manipulation, or neglect often reflects their internal relationship with themselves. Partnership reveals where boundaries are weak, where authenticity is sacrificed, where self abandonment occurs, and where fear overrides truth. Conscious relationships invite us to strengthen self respect, emotional honesty, and healthy boundaries rather than abandoning ourselves to maintain attachment. 4. They mirror your relationship with love Many people do not actually understand love. They understand attachment, dependency, fantasy, possession, trauma bonding, control, projection, or validation seeking. Relationships expose whether someone can love mindfully, communicate honestly, remain emotionally safe, compromise fairly, honor individuality, celebrate another’s growth, and stay open hearted without domination or collapse. Real love is not control or obsession. It is a mindful love that creates room for transparency, vulnerability, and humility. 5. They mirror your shadow and emotional maturity One of the most confronting mirrors in relationships is the shadow, the parts of ourselves we unconsciously reject, suppress, deny, or avoid. Often, what intensely irritates or fascinates us in another person points toward unresolved material seeking awareness, healing, and integration. For example, controlling people often suppress vulnerability, hyper independent people may secretly fear dependence, rescuers often avoid their own unmet needs, jealous people often fear inadequacy, emotionally avoidant people often fear engulfment or rejection. Relationships also reveal our emotional maturity. Can you admit harm without collapsing, apologize sincerely, remain compassionately curious during conflict, separate intent from impact, hold two subjective realities simultaneously? Or must someone always win, blame, dominate, defend, or avoid? Relationships also reveal our relationship with power, presence, and emotional safety. Can you attune, witness pain, truly listen with intent to understand, tolerate emotional complexity, and remain emotionally available without controlling or escaping discomfort? Many people love the fantasy of intimacy but struggle with the emotional labor of genuine presence. Mindful love requires nervous system presence, not merely physical proximity. This form of presence is real love in motion. Integration is the real work The hard work of relationships is not pretending conflict does not exist, performing perfection, avoiding discomfort, or maintaining appearances. The real work is integration, integrating the wounded child, the reactive ego, the fearful nervous system, the shadow, the body, heart, soul, and conscious self. This is why these unions feel sacred. Because when two people participate in becoming their most loving selves for the greater good of their well being and of the bond, the inward and outward rewards are divine. Trauma bonding vs. Sacred union Trauma bonds say: “Complete me.” “Rescue me.” “Validate me.” “Don’t leave me.” “Become smaller so I feel safe.” Sacred union says: “Walk beside me.” “Grow with me.” “Tell me the truth.” “Help me evolve.” “Let us create safety together.” One is rooted in fear. The other is rooted in mindfulness. How emotionally safe REALationships create peace within PazMesa teaches that heaven is not merely a place after death. It is a state of coherence cultivated within, the mind, body, heart, soul, relationship, and home. Two mindful individuals can co create peace within themselves and their connection, not because they never experience pain, but because they learn how to regulate instead of react, communicate instead of manipulate, repair instead of punish, reflect instead of project, blame, and shame, collaborate and cooperate instead of competing, and love without domination. This creates emotional safety, trust, respect, authentic intimacy, relational coherence, and mutual expansion. Questions for reflection Awareness is where transformation begins. What relationship patterns repeatedly surface in my life? What triggers feel disproportionately intense? Where do I seek control instead of connection? Do I create emotional safety during conflict? Am I capable of honoring both my reality and another person’s subjective experience simultaneously? Final thoughts When two people commit to personal well being, emotional safety, nervous system regulation, safe communication, and authentic growth, partnership becomes more than companionship. It becomes a sacred space for personal evolution. The connection is more than chemistry or attachment. It is a beautiful union rooted in safety, integrity, wholeness, and peace within. Relationships transform into sanctuaries instead of battlegrounds, mirrors for growth instead of prisons for wounds, and pathways toward embodied love rather than unconscious suffering. These bonds are here not only to make us feel good temporarily, but to help us become more aware, more integrated, more loving, fully alive human beings. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Janie Terrazas Janie Terrazas, The Mindfulness Coach Janie Terrazas, known as The Mindfulness Coach, transformed her media career into a life-coaching and wellness-advocacy mission after a spiritual awakening in 2011. As the creator of the PazMesa self-mastery program and the force behind Rise Above TV, she fosters balance and mindfulness in others. Her triumphs and trials deeply shape her coaching as she helps clients address stress and trauma and build safe relationships. Janie combines spiritual depth with actionable strategies to guide individuals toward a joyful, vital life. Her coaching transcends conventional methods, empowering clients to find peace and purpose within. Janie's empathetic and innovative approaches offer a safe roadmap for self-discovery and authentic living and loving.

Written by Heather Higgins, Counsellor & Grief Coach With extensive experience supporting people through grief, and the professionals who work with them, Heather delivers practical, compassionate insights grounded in counselling, psychology, and emotional wellbeing. Her work focuses on helping individuals and organisations navigate grief with confidence and care. Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet many people still struggle to talk about it openly. Despite growing awareness around mental health and wellbeing, grief often remains hidden behind silence, discomfort or an expectation to appear “fine”. Loss affects us all, but when conversations around grief are avoided, people often feel isolated and unsupported. Open and honest discussions around grief have the power to create connection, safety and compassion, allowing us to better understand what it really means to live alongside loss. Why is grief still so difficult to talk about? Although grief is something every person will go through at some point in life, many of us still find it deeply uncomfortable to talk about. We are often taught to suppress difficult emotions, avoid uncomfortable conversations or “stay strong” for others, leaving many without the emotional language or confidence to navigate bereavement. As a result, grief can feel incredibly isolating, with people fearing they may say the wrong thing, burden others with their feelings, or appear unable to cope. In a society that often values productivity, positivity and fast recovery, grief unfortunately doesn’t always fit neatly into everyday life. Yet, avoiding these conversations does not remove grief. It simply leaves people carrying it alone. The impact of silence on children, adults and families Avoiding conversations around loss can have a significant impact on our mental health, wellbeing, relationships and behaviours. It can create feelings of emotional isolation, leading to negative self esteem and internalised feelings. This can show up in different ways. In children, it might look like withdrawal, changes in mood or acting out. Adults may suppress emotions to protect others or to appear as if they are coping, while internally struggling with exhaustion, anxiety, anger, sadness or even emotional numbness. Within families, silence around loss can create misunderstandings, emotional distance, and the unspoken belief that grief should be hidden rather than shared. Avoiding conversations about grief can leave people feeling isolated in their pain, disconnected from support and questioning if what they are experiencing is normal (spoiler alert, it is normal!). Honest conversations do not remove grief, but they reduce the loneliness that often accompanies it. Why grief conversations matter in the workplace Typically, people return to work or “normal life” quite quickly after a bereavement. This can be due to expectations from others or even ourselves. Some may want to return to work as a form of distraction from the heaviness that accompanies grief and for some, it comes down to finances. It is important that however and whenever people return to work after a loss that they are supported. Conversations and support at work can make a huge difference in a bereaved person's transition back into the workplace. This is why grief education in an organisational context is so important. It teaches managers, business owners, and staff members how to support employees and colleagues returning to work, strategies and techniques to reduce stress and create psychologically safe spaces where employees feel listened to, heard and understood. When organisations are willing to openly acknowledge grief rather than avoid it, they foster trust, compassion and connection in the workplace. This can lead to reduced burnout and emotional overwhelm in staff, but also improve morale, strengthen employee retention and foster healthier workplace relationships which benefits everyone. What do helpful grief conversations actually look like? A common misconception is that people need to have “the perfect words” to support someone who is grieving. In reality, that pressure can make conversations feel even more difficult. Often, the most meaningful thing we can offer is simply our presence. Helpful grief conversations are not about trying to “fix” someone’s pain, but about listening without judgement, acknowledging their loss and allowing emotions to be expressed openly without fear of criticism. When we create space for people to grieve in their own way, we give them permission to feel seen, heard and understood. Grieving people know their pain cannot be simply “taken away”, and it is not our job to remove it. But sometimes compassionate listening is the most powerful support we can offer. Seven practical ways we can improve our conversations around grief Improving conversations around grief does not require perfect words or professional training. It starts with us creating more openness, compassion and willingness to listen. Small changes in the way we respond to loss can make a significant difference to someone who is grieving. By normalising conversations and creating space for emotional expression, we can help people feel more supported and less alone. Here are seven practical ways we can begin creating more grief informed conversations in everyday life: 1. Replace advice with listening and validation It’s often our first instinct to want to “fix” someone's pain or make them feel better and that, at times, comes with well intentioned but sometimes unhelpful advice. During a time of emotional turmoil, an empathetic ear and just showing up for someone is sometimes the most helpful thing you can offer. 2. Stop rushing people to move on People need to grieve in their own time. There is no timeline for grief and there is no “getting over” a loss. There is also no “right way” to grieve and everyone handles it differently, and that’s ok. Over time, we can learn to live alongside the loss as we navigate the stages of grief, but telling someone to “move on” or that they should “be over it by now” can create feelings of shame and guilt on top of an already complex and heavy emotion. 3. Check in with grieving people after the funeral period After a funeral, life goes back to normal for everyone else. But for those suffering a loss, this is often when grief hits the hardest. They are adjusting to a new world without their person, but often this is when the check ins stop. This is commonly when people need it most, so check in on your grieving friends. Grief doesn’t end after a funeral. More often than not, it is just beginning. 4. Normalise talking about grief in schools and workplaces Schools and workplaces play an important role in shaping how people understand and respond to grief. When conversations around bereavement are acknowledged openly rather than avoided, it helps create environments where people feel safer expressing emotions and accessing support. Normalising these conversations reduces stigma and helps people feel more understood. 5. Teach children emotional language early While in their developmental stages, it is important that we encourage emotional language in children and young people. It helps them build confidence in emotional expression and validates their experience. If children learn early to suppress their emotions, this can cause grief to show up in other, often more harmful ways (changes in behaviour, isolation, anxiety). 6. Create workplace policies that acknowledge emotional wellbeing Workplace policies should recognise that grief and emotional wellbeing can have a significant impact on employees both personally and professionally. Compassionate bereavement support, flexible communication and psychologically safe environments can help employees feel supported rather than pressured during difficult times. Grief doesn’t disappear for people when it is time to return to work, and it is important that organisations acknowledge this. 7. Encourage grief education and awareness training Education and training around grief can help individuals, workplaces, schools and communities feel more confident in supporting people through loss. Many people avoid grief conversations through fear of saying the wrong thing, or lack of understanding around how grief can affect emotions, behaviour and wellbeing. By increasing awareness and guidance, we can create more compassionate, informed environments where grief is acknowledged openly and people feel less alone and more supported. Creating a more grief informed society Grief is part of being human, and at some point, every one of us will experience loss in some form. By improving emotional literacy and encouraging more open conversations around grief, we can begin to create a society where people feel safer expressing vulnerability rather than hiding their pain in silence. Compassion matters because feeling seen, heard and supported makes a huge difference during life’s most difficult moments. When we normalise conversations about grief in our homes, schools, workplaces and communities, we not only support those grieving today, but also help future generations develop healthier, more compassionate ways of understanding loss and supporting one another. Creating change through conversation Perhaps creating change begins with something much simpler than we realise, a conversation. When we allow grief to be spoken about openly, we help remove that fear, shame and isolation that so many of us carry after a loss. We may not be able to take someone’s pain away, but we can ensure that they don’t have to navigate it alone. Let’s encourage more open conversations around grief so that we can begin to build a more emotionally aware and compassionate society for future generations. If you need 1:1 support through loss, grief or bereavement or would like more information on grief education workshops for organisations, workplaces and schools please reach out. You can find me through email, Instagram or my website. You can also read more about processing loss in my memoir Guided by Grief. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Follow me on Facebook and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Heather Higgins Heather Higgins, Counsellor & Grief Coach Heather is a grief specialist, counsellor, author and facilitator with extensive experience supporting children, young people, adults and the professionals who care for them. After loosing both parents at a young age, she now uses her lived experience to support others through bereavement. Her work focuses on helping individuals and organisations better understand grief, loss, and emotional resilience through practical, compassionate approaches. Through her writing and teaching, she aims to make conversations around grief more informed, accessible, and human.

Written by Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen, Acupuncturist Dr. Kanokwan “Nina” Jatuparisuthiseen is a board-certified and licensed acupuncturist and Certified Sports Medicine Acupuncture® practitioner, and the founder of Nina Acupuncture. Her work is known for its clinical precision, individualized care, and effective results for pain, stress-related conditions, and well-being. Pickleball’s rapid rise in popularity has also brought a quiet increase in overuse injuries affecting the elbow, shoulder, and knee, especially among adults who play regularly. As an active sport that demands repetition, quick movement, and endurance, it often exposes the gap between performance and recovery in ways many players do not notice until pain begins to interfere with daily life. How acupuncture helps with three common pickleball injuries Pickleball has rapidly become one of the fastest-growing sports in America, especially among active adults seeking movement, community, and long-term wellness. Yet alongside its rising popularity comes another growing trend, repetitive strain injuries affecting the elbow, shoulder, and knee. In clinical practice, I increasingly see pickleball players struggling with pain that begins as mild soreness but gradually interferes with daily movement, sleep, and overall quality of life. Many continue playing through discomfort, only seeking treatment when symptoms become persistent or begin limiting performance. As both an acupuncturist and a pickleball player myself, I understand how important it is not only to relieve pain, but to help people continue doing the activities they love with confidence and resilience. Acupuncture has gained increasing recognition as a complementary therapy for pain management, sports recovery, and nervous system regulation (Vickers et al., 2018). Rather than focusing solely on symptoms, treatment often addresses movement patterns, muscular tension, circulation, and the body’s recovery response as a whole. Here are three of the most common pickleball injuries I see in clinic and how acupuncture may help support recovery. Tennis elbow (Pickleball elbow) Tennis elbow, or lateral epicondylitis, is one of the most common overuse injuries among pickleball players. Repetitive gripping, swinging, and wrist extension can overload the tendons of the forearm, leading to pain and inflammation around the outer elbow. Common symptoms include: Pain on the outside of the elbow Weak grip strength Pain while lifting or twisting Forearm tightness that may travel into the shoulder or neck One of the most overlooked aspects of tennis elbow is that pain is often connected to larger tension patterns throughout the arm, shoulder, and upper back. In Sports Medicine Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine, practitioners frequently evaluate the entire movement chain rather than focusing only on the painful area itself. Acupuncture may help by: Improving local circulation Reducing muscular tension Supporting tendon recovery Regulating pain sensitivity Addressing compensatory tension patterns For many active adults, treatment is not simply about reducing pain temporarily, but about restoring comfortable movement and preventing recurrent flare-ups. Shoulder pain and rotator cuff strain The shoulder is one of the most mobile joints in the body, making it particularly vulnerable to repetitive overhead movement and strain during pickleball play. Rotator cuff irritation may develop gradually over time or appear suddenly after repetitive serving and swinging motions. Symptoms often include shoulder stiffness, weakness with overhead movement, limited range of motion, pain that interferes with sleep. In many cases, shoulder pain is not isolated to the joint itself. Posture, neck tension, scapular stability, and movement compensation patterns often contribute to ongoing discomfort. Acupuncture treatment frequently focuses on improving circulation, releasing muscular tension, and regulating the nervous system’s protective guarding response that commonly develops around chronic pain conditions. Some patients also report improvements in mobility, recovery time, and overall body awareness following treatment. Knee pain and overuse injuries Quick directional changes, repetitive loading, and pivoting movements can place considerable stress on the knees during pickleball. One common presentation is pain around the kneecap associated with muscle imbalance, overuse, and repetitive strain. Tight quadriceps, hip tension, and reduced mobility may increase pressure within the knee joint and contribute to discomfort during activity. Common symptoms include pain with stairs or squatting, stiffness after activity, swelling or irritation, and discomfort during prolonged play. Acupuncture may help support recovery by promoting circulation, reducing muscular tension, and helping regulate pain response pathways. Treatment is often combined with movement recommendations and recovery strategies to help reduce reinjury and improve long-term function. Recovery is part of performance One of the most common misconceptions among active adults is the belief that more activity automatically leads to better performance. In reality, many injuries occur when recovery cannot keep up with repetitive physical demand. Recovery is not simply about rest. It is about creating the conditions that allow the body to heal, adapt, and maintain resilience over time. Acupuncture continues to gain attention not only for pain management, but also for its role in supporting nervous system regulation, recovery, and overall well-being. For many individuals, treatment becomes part of a broader approach to sustainable movement, longevity, and quality of life. Ultimately, the goal is not simply to remove pain. It is to help people continue doing the activities they love with strength, confidence, and vitality for years to come. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen, Acupuncturist Dr. Nina Jatuparisuthiseen, DAc, L.Ac., LMT, C.SMA, LE, is a board-certified licensed acupuncturist and founder of Nina Acupuncture. She holds advanced training in Sports Medicine Acupuncture, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and Lifestyle & Wellness Coaching through Harvard Medical School Executive Education, and specializes in evidence-based pain management, sports injury recovery, mental and women’s health, preventive care, and systems-based approaches to long-term health and resilience. Her work emphasizes mindful, ethical, and patient-centered care. Reference: Vickers, A. J., Vertosick, E. A., Lewith, G., MacPherson, H., Foster, N. E., Sherman, K. J., ... & Linde, K. (2018). Acupuncture for chronic pain: Update of an individual patient data meta-analysis. The Journal of Pain, 19(5), 455–474.

Written by Jenny Gaynor, Social Emotional Learning Coach and Founder Jenny Gaynor, author and founder of Calm Education, teaches SEL tools to help kids, families, and teachers build confidence, connection, and calm. June often brings equal parts excitement and chaos. The school year rush disappears, routines loosen, and families suddenly feel pressure to create a summer filled with magical memories. Sometimes we even create bucket lists packed with beaches, camps, road trips, and big adventures. But what if we also created a summer bucket list that nurtured something deeper? Summer offers all of us, especially our children, the wonderful gift of space. Summer gives us room to slow down, notice our emotions, build stronger relationships, practice independence, and develop emotional resilience. The best part is that ordinary summer moments give our children time for meaningful growth. Here are a few bucket list ideas that help build emotional intelligence while still feeling playful, relaxed, and fun. 1. Have a “Yes day” for someone else Often, we give our children a choice of their preferred summertime activities. Instead, encourage them to spend one day focused on someone else’s interests. Maybe they play a sibling’s favorite game. Or they visit Grandma’s special place. They could even let a friend choose the afternoon activity. This simple and intentional practice helps children build empathy, flexibility, perspective-taking, and cooperation. Watching someone they care about genuinely enjoying an activity can help children discover joy in making others happy. This can be a win win for everyone! 2. Watch a sunset without phones This sounds simple, but for many of us it can feel surprisingly difficult. We may feel compelled to snap photos and instantly share on social media with our friends. Instead, try simply sitting together and watching the sky change colors without distractions or multitasking. Moments like this create a sense of awe that we often miss when our phones are in our hands. This time of quiet, stillness, and togetherness helps calm our nervous system and increases feelings of connection and gratitude, which are important for emotional well-being. None of us, including our children, needs more stimulation. Sometimes we simply need to intentionally stop and notice what is already beautiful and awe-inspiring. 3. Create a kindness mission jar Kindness activities help children feel capable, connected, and emotionally fulfilled. Research consistently shows that helping others also boosts our mood and emotional resilience. Together as a family, fill a jar with small acts of kindness written on slips of paper. Some ideas include donating toys, making cookies for someone, writing thank you notes, helping a younger child, or setting up a “free” lemonade stand for neighbors. Once a week, pick a slip from the jar and dedicate some time throughout the day to doing that act of kindness. Ask your children how it made them feel to do these things for others. You may be surprised at their responses! 4. Try a “Boredom hour” This may be the most challenging activity on the list for both children and adults. The key is to explain what this means and to give ample time for everyone to prepare. Boredom is an important emotion to learn how to regulate. Feeling bored creates opportunities to be creative, solve problems, manage frustration, and become more self-aware. These are regulation skills that often develop during unstructured play. To create this summer moment for your child, explain that a portion of your day will not include screens, planned entertainment, or structured activities. Brainstorm ideas with your family ahead of time on how to pass the hour. Maybe they look through a box of toys they haven’t played with in a while, find a good book to read on their shelf, or organize their craft supplies. Explain that the adults will be doing the same thing, and help brainstorm a list of ideas for the grown ups in the house as well. Then, have at it! Enjoy the hour of nothingness! At the end, discuss what everyone enjoyed, disliked, and would do next time. You may be surprised at what comes of this hour for your family. 5. Practice “Rose, Thorn, Bud” How many times have you asked your child, “How was your day?” only to receive “fine” as an answer? Try this reflection on a summer day instead. At dinner, bedtime, or even during a car ride, have each family member share a “rose” (something good from the day), a “thorn” (something challenging), and a “bud” (something they’re looking forward to). This simple activity builds not only emotional vocabulary and communication skills, but also creates time for reflection and family connection. It teaches everyone that difficult emotions can exist alongside joyful ones and helps set up the following day for success. Not to mention, it gets the family talking beyond the response of “fine.” 6. Spend time in silence together When was the last time you spent time in silence, let alone with your family? When children learn to slow down and observe the world around them, they also become more aware of the world inside themselves. Guess what? So do the adults! Mindfulness doesn’t always have to mean guided meditation. Sometimes it simply means learning to notice. Try going on a silent nature walk, listening to the rain together, cloud watching, or sitting quietly by the ocean. Before silence begins, encourage your child to use their senses. Teach them to notice what they see, hear, smell, feel, and even taste! Is it hard for them not to tell you all about it at the moment? Hand them a journal. Let them draw or write what they notice. Model doing the same for yourself. The sharing at the end might be more valuable than you realized. 7. Do something brave Confidence is not built on avoiding discomfort. It grows when we experience challenges and realize we can handle them. Encourage your family to choose one thing that feels uncomfortable to them. It could be introducing themselves to someone new, trying a new food, performing at camp, sleeping away from home, or trying a new activity. Often, we avoid discomfort because we feel we aren’t “good enough” at something, or maybe we are simply fearful. This is a great time to build emotion regulation skills as well. Teach your child to breathe deeply and give them a helpful thought before attempting the activity. Remember, the goal is not perfection. The goal is practicing courage. Remind your family and yourself that in order to feel brave, you have to pass through the unpleasant discomfort first. That is what makes bravery feel so wonderful! A different kind of summer Children may not remember every camp theme, outing, or perfectly planned activity from summer break. But they often remember how summer felt to them. They remember feeling connected, calm, safe, free, and seen. This summer, alongside the big adventures, consider making space for the quieter moments that help children build emotional intelligence, resilience, mindfulness, and connection. Sometimes the smallest moments become the most meaningful ones of all. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Jenny Gaynor Jenny Gaynor, Social Emotional Learning Coach and Founder Jenny Gaynor is the author and founder of Calm Education. She teaches children, families, and teachers essential SEL (Social Emotional Learning) skills. Her mission is to help others build confidence, resilience, and healthy connections. Jenny is a former educator with over 20 years of classroom experience. She holds certifications in both elementary and special education. Jenny also has training in yoga, meditation, and SEL facilitation. She lives in Barrington, Rhode Island, with her family and therapy cat, Tiller.

Written by Aleya Belamour, Relationship Recovery Coach Aleya Belamour is the founder of Breakup to Blissful, a program that helps women recover from breakups and rebuild confidence, clarity, and self-worth. Her work focuses on practical emotional healing, mindset tools, and behavior change to support real-life recovery after heartbreak. The parent wound typically stems from childhood experiences such as criticism, abandonment, emotional neglect, overcontrol, inconsistency, or name-calling. These experiences can shape the way we see ourselves, others, love, safety, and connection. Over time, they often lead to patterns of unhealthy relationships, low self-worth, people-pleasing, emotional dysregulation, or difficulty feeling truly safe and secure. Recognizing that these wounds are rooted in past experiences is the first step toward healing. Acknowledging your parent wound does not mean blaming or resenting your parents forever. It means understanding how their patterns shaped yours. For me, it wasn’t until my mid-30s that I fully connected the dots between the relationships modeled to me growing up and the unhealthy relationships I later chose for myself. I realized I had unconsciously normalized emotional instability and name-calling because it was familiar. Once I became aware of the connection between my childhood experiences and my adult patterns, everything started to make sense. That awareness gave me the power to break the cycle and begin making different choices without carrying resentment toward my parents in the process. Sometimes doing this work can strengthen your relationship with your parents, especially if they are emotionally mature enough to listen, acknowledge your experience, and take accountability. Sometimes one sincere apology can soften years of pain. Other times, healing comes from accepting that your parents may never have had the emotional tools or self-awareness to do this work themselves, but you do. That is a gift not only to yourself but to future generations as well. Self-reflection check-in Take a moment and notice what comes up as you read this: What emotions arise when you think about your childhood? Do you feel more anger, sadness, numbness, guilt, or confusion? Do you feel protective of your parents or critical of them? Where do you notice these wounds showing up in your current relationships? What coping mechanisms did you develop to feel loved, safe, or accepted? What toxic pattern have I emulated or accepted in romantic relationships because I experienced it at home first? There are no right or wrong answers here, only awareness. Awareness is where healing begins. Steps to heal the parent wound Healing begins when you stop minimizing your pain. Many people spend years dismissing their childhood experiences because “others had it worse” or because their parents “did their best.” While both things can be true, your pain still deserves acknowledgment. Allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with your experiences, whether anger, grief, sadness, disappointment, or resentment. You cannot truly release pain you refuse to acknowledge. Understand the context Understanding your parents’ upbringing, trauma, limitations, or emotional capacity can create compassion and soften blame. This does not excuse harmful behavior. It simply allows you to see the full picture. Often, our parents were operating from wounds they never healed themselves. Generational trauma gets passed down unconsciously until someone becomes aware enough to stop the cycle. Sometimes that person is you. Seek support Parent wounds often run deep and can be difficult to untangle alone. A therapist, support group, coach, or trusted friend can provide a safe space to process emotions and identify patterns. If possible, look for someone who specifically specializes in childhood trauma, attachment wounds, family systems, or inner child healing. Healing in safe connection with others can be incredibly transformative. Inner child work Inner child work involves reconnecting with the younger version of yourself who felt unseen, unsafe, abandoned, criticized, or emotionally neglected. Through journaling, visualization, meditation, or guided healing exercises, you begin learning how to give yourself the validation, protection, and love you may not have consistently received growing up. One powerful question to ask yourself is, “What did I need most as a child that I didn’t receive?” Your answer often reveals what still needs healing today. Healing the parent wound sometimes requires changing the dynamics that continue to hurt you in the present. Healthy boundaries are not punishment, they are protection. You are allowed to distance yourself from conversations, behaviors, or family dynamics that are emotionally harmful. You do not have to tolerate name-calling, manipulation, emotional invalidation, or disrespect simply because someone is family. Sometimes healing relationships requires space first. Practice self-compassion Healing is not linear. You may notice yourself falling back into old patterns, reacting emotionally, or struggling to communicate differently. That does not mean you are failing, it means you are rewiring years of conditioning. If you grew up without healthy relationship models, it makes sense that emotional regulation and communication may feel difficult at times. Be patient with yourself as you learn. You are not becoming difficult. You are becoming aware. Create a new narrative Many parent wounds leave behind limiting beliefs such as: “I am not good enough.” “Love must be earned.” “My needs are too much.” “I have to prove my worth.” “I am responsible for other people’s emotions.” “Screaming and name-calling come from people you love.” Healing involves consciously replacing these beliefs with healthier truths. You are allowed to rewrite the story you carry about yourself. Sometimes, true healing also means no longer obsessively revisiting the pain. Once you have processed, learned, grieved, and grown, you are allowed to move forward without constantly reopening the wound. One of the hardest but most freeing parts of healing can be realizing your parents were imperfect humans carrying their own unresolved pain. This realization can create deep compassion. Not every parent had the emotional tools, support, safety, or awareness needed to parent in healthy ways. Many were surviving rather than consciously parenting. Understanding this does not erase your pain, but it can help release the emotional weight of resentment. We are all shaped by what shaped us. Long-term benefits of healing the parent wound Healing the parent wound can transform every area of your life. You may begin to choose healthier relationships, feel safer expressing your emotions, stop seeking validation from emotionally unavailable people, build stronger boundaries, improve your self-esteem, feel more emotionally regulated, break generational cycles, and experience deeper inner peace. Could you benefit from doing this inner work? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Aleya Belamour Aleya Belamour, Relationship Recovery Coach Aleya Belamour is a certified Relationship Recovery Coach, Energy Medicine Practitioner, and the founder of Breakup to Blissful, a transformational journey that helps women heal their hearts, release emotional baggage, and rediscover their inner radiance after a painful breakup or divorce. She offers free guided meditations and an online support group, with deeper transformation available through her signature program and soulful healing journeys around the world.

Written by Dr. Shamma Lootah, Self-Leadership & Mental Wellbeing Expert Dr. Shamma shares insights on clarity, emotional resilience, and purposeful growth, helping individuals and organizations navigate personal and professional transformation. Not all reactions are about what is happening in the moment, some are echoes of patterns the nervous system has learned over time. This article explores how the body responds before conscious thought and how awareness can create space to shift those automatic responses. It’s not just your reaction There are moments when your response feels immediate, too fast to think, too strong to explain, too familiar to ignore. You may tell yourself, “I overreacted.” “I shouldn’t feel this way.” “I don’t know why this affects me so much.” But what if the reaction is not the problem? What if it is a pattern your system has learned to repeat? The body reacts before the mind understands Most reactions do not begin with conscious thought. They begin in the body. Before you analyze what is happening, your nervous system has already interpreted the situation. It has already decided whether something feels safe, uncertain, or threatening. It responds accordingly. This is why your heart rate changes before you understand why, your tone shifts before you choose your words, your body tightens before you realize you feel uncomfortable. These responses are not random. They are learned. How patterns become automatic Over time, the brain and nervous system build associations. Certain tones, situations, or dynamics become linked to past experiences. Not always consciously. But physiologically. From a neuroscience perspective, the brain prioritizes efficiency. It relies on past patterns to predict and respond quickly. When something resembles a previous experience, especially a stressful one, the nervous system can activate a similar response, even if the current situation is different. This is why a present moment can feel heavier than it objectively is. Because your system is not only responding to now. It is responding to what it remembers. Why some reactions feel bigger than the moment You may notice this in everyday situations. A small comment feels like criticism. A delay feels like rejection. A disagreement feels like conflict. Silence feels uncomfortable or uncertain. Logically, you may know that the situation is manageable. But your body reacts as if something more significant is happening. This is not a lack of control. It is a learned response. The role of safety in your reactions At its core, your nervous system is not trying to be right. It is trying to keep you safe. If, at any point in your life, certain environments required you to: stay alert anticipate outcomes manage emotions carefully avoid conflict stay in control Your system learned to operate from that place. It continues to do so. Even when the environment has changed. The gap between awareness and response One of the most important shifts happens when you begin to notice the gap between what is happening and how you are reacting. You start to see that: not every situation requires the same level of response not every feeling needs to be acted on immediately not every reaction reflects the present moment This awareness creates space. In that space, something new becomes possible. Regulation before reaction Most people try to change their behavior by focusing on thoughts. But change becomes more accessible when you begin with the body. Because when your system feels regulated, your thinking becomes clearer. You can respond instead of react, communicate instead of withdraw, stay present instead of becoming overwhelmed. Simple shifts can support this, slowing your breathing, releasing physical tension, pausing before responding, bringing awareness to what you are feeling. These are not quick fixes. They are ways of creating stability in your system. Relearning a different response Changing patterns does not mean eliminating reactions. It means creating new ones. Over time, when you pause instead of react, stay present instead of withdrawing, respond with intention instead of habit, your system begins to learn that a different response is possible. Gradually, it becomes more familiar. A final thought Your reactions are not random. They are informed by experience. They reflect how your system has learned to interpret the world. But they are not fixed. With awareness and consistency, you can begin to shift how you respond, without forcing, without suppressing, and without losing yourself in the process. Call to Action If this resonated, and you are ready to better understand and shift the patterns shaping your responses, you can explore working with Dr. Shamma Lootah by booking a session through her profile. Follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Shamma Lootah Dr. Shamma Lootah, Self-Leadership & Mental Wellbeing Expert Dr. Shamma Lootah is a UAE-based leadership and mental well-being consultant, Partner and Director at The Holistic Culture, and an Adjunct Professor in business and leadership. With over 17 years of experience in UAE government strategy and institutional excellence, she brings a rare blend of system-level expertise and human-centered insight. Her work focuses on self-leadership, emotional clarity, and sustainable performance, helping individuals and leaders navigate pressure without losing themselves in the process.

Women now make up nearly half of all gamers worldwide. According to a 2025 global industry report, the figure sits at roughly 48 percent across 21 countries. Yet when you look at who actually builds the games, the picture changes sharply. A separate annual developer survey found that women represent just 25 percent of the game development workforce. That is not a talent gap. It is an access gap. And it teaches a lesson that extends far beyond gaming. Too many industries treat awareness as the finish line. They host panels, launch campaigns, publish reports, and celebrate rising consumer diversity as proof of progress. But consumer representation and professional representation are not the same thing. One measures who shows up. The other measures who gets to build. Gaming is one of the clearest examples of what happens when an industry confuses the two. Enthusiasm does not create careers One of the most persistent assumptions in diversity conversations is that interest will naturally convert into opportunity. If enough women play games, the thinking goes, more women will end up making them. But that logic only works when the professional infrastructure exists to support the transition. In most industries, hiring pipelines, mentorship networks, and professional communities were not designed with diverse participation in mind. They were built around the demographics that dominated the field early on, and they continue to favour those demographics by default. Not always intentionally. Often just through inertia. What I have seen work is something different. Community spaces that were originally built around shared enthusiasm can become genuine professional on-ramps when they are designed with that outcome in mind. A gaming group that connects members with development roles, writing opportunities, voice acting work, and design positions is not just a community. It is a career pipeline. But it only functions that way when someone deliberately builds it to be one. The question worth asking is not "how do we get more women interested?" It is "how do we build systems that turn existing interest into careers?" Relationships built on trust outperform transactions Business development in most industries rewards speed. Meet someone, identify the mutual benefit, close the deal, move on. Whether the context is a console publisher, an indie studio, or one of the growing number of web gaming platforms, that transactional model works well enough for people who already have access to the right rooms. For professionals from underrepresented backgrounds, it often does not. The relationships that genuinely open doors for people who are still building their place in an industry are rarely transactional. They are built over time, through patience, consistency, and a willingness to stay open to conversations where the value is not immediately obvious. An introduction that seems irrelevant today can become the most important connection in someone's career two years from now. This applies to professional visibility as well. Developing skills across different formats, whether that means public speaking, hosting, pitching, or simply showing up consistently, compounds over time in ways that a single networking event never will. The professionals I have seen build the most durable careers in underrepresented spaces are the ones who invested in relationships long before those relationships paid off. Being seen is not the same as having a seat This is the distinction that matters most, and the one that too many industries still get wrong. An industry can acknowledge its diversity problem publicly. It can feature underrepresented voices in marketing, create dedicated programming, and celebrate milestones in representation. All of that is valuable. None of it is sufficient. If the people being celebrated still lack the tools, entry points, and structural support to build sustainable careers, the celebration changes nothing. Visibility without access is performance. What actually moves the needle is less glamorous. It is mentorship programmes that pair emerging professionals with people who can open real doors. It is leadership training that prepares underrepresented talent for senior roles, not just entry-level ones. It is career resources, professional development, and organisational commitment that outlast a single awareness campaign. These are not substitutes for systemic change. But they are the building blocks that give people a genuine footing in industries that have historically made entry difficult for anyone outside the traditional mould. The lesson gaming teaches every industry The pattern playing out in gaming is not unique. Many industries have reached a point where awareness of their diversity gaps is high, but the infrastructure to close those gaps remains underdeveloped. The lesson is straightforward. The work of inclusion is not finished when representation improves on the consumer side. It is finished when the professional side catches up. That requires deliberate, sustained investment in pipelines that convert interest into access and access into careers. Community spaces that function as professional on-ramps. Business relationships built on trust rather than transaction. Organisations that provide real tools instead of symbolic recognition. These are not just gaming solutions. They are a blueprint for any industry serious about closing the gap between who it serves and who gets to build it.