Written by Eliana Bonaguro, Licensed Mental Health Counselor Eliana Bonaguro, LMHC, specializes in OCD and anxiety disorders. She blends evidence-based therapy with visual storytelling through her illustrated self-help guides to make complex mental health concepts more approachable, engaging, and easier to understand. Andrew loved his girlfriend. They had built a life together over several years. They shared a cosy apartment in Brooklyn, supported each other through difficult moments, and often talked about a future that included marriage and children. From the outside, the relationship looked healthy, stable, and loving. As their relationship became more serious, Andrew started to feel overwhelmed by his own thoughts. The more conversations they had about marriage and commitment, the more emotionally consumed he became. Some days, he felt deeply connected to her and could easily picture spending his life with her. Other days, he became trapped in relentless doubt and emotional confusion. His feelings ran the gamut from love, guilt, resentment, and fear to the persistent thought that perhaps someone “better” might still be out there waiting for him. At times, he worried he was wasting her time. Other times, he feared he was sabotaging a healthy relationship simply because he could not tolerate uncertainty. He started looking for flaws in the relationship, analysing his feelings, and comparing their connection to other couples. He also questioned whether his anxiety meant something was truly wrong. Over time, these intrusive thoughts became hard to ignore. What if I do not truly love her enough? What if I am making the wrong decision? What if my anxiety is trying to warn me? What if I commit and later regret it? What if I am wasting her time? The more Andrew tried to find certainty in his relationship, the more overwhelmed and disconnected he felt. For many thoughtful and introspective people, this kind of mental loop can appear in their romantic lives. Sometimes, these experiences are more than just normal relationship doubts. They can be signs of Relationship OCD, or ROCD. What is Relationship OCD? Relationship OCD is a subtype of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that centres around intrusive fears, doubts, and uncertainty related to romantic relationships. While it is not uncommon for people to experience occasional, passing doubts in relationships, ROCD involves repetitive obsessions and compulsive behaviours that become emotionally exhausting, time-consuming, and hard to disengage from. Individuals experiencing ROCD often find themselves preoccupied with repetitive questions. They may wonder whether they truly love their partner, whether their partner is “the right person,” whether they feel attracted enough, whether the relationship feels “right” enough, whether they are making a mistake by staying, or whether uncertainty itself means something is fundamentally wrong. These fears often intensify during periods of increased commitment, such as moving in together, discussing marriage, having children, or imagining a long-term future. Because relationships naturally involve vulnerability, emotional fluidity, and inherent uncertainty, OCD often latches onto them powerfully. Why ROCD feels so convincing One of the hardest parts of Relationship OCD is that the doubts feel very real. Many individuals assume that if anxiety feels this strong, there must be a genuine problem within the relationship. They begin treating every shifting emotion, intrusive thought, or temporary fluctuation in attraction as critical evidence that must be analysed and solved. As a therapist specialising in OCD and anxiety disorders, I often see analytical, intelligent individuals become trapped in endless attempts to logically solve emotional uncertainty. Unfortunately, the more someone tries to force absolute certainty, the more tangled and emotionally reactive the thoughts become. Many people with ROCD are highly introspective and emotionally aware. They are not careless about relationships. In fact, they care deeply and place enormous pressure on themselves to make the “perfect” decision. OCD tends to weaponise this deep sense of responsibility. Normal human experiences, such as temporary emotional distance, stress, irritation, boredom, or fluctuating attraction, can suddenly feel threatening and catastrophic. Thoughts that might briefly pass through someone else’s mind become sticky, repetitive, and emotionally charged. Over time, people with Relationship OCD may begin monitoring themselves constantly. They may ask, “Do I feel enough right now?” “Am I attracted enough in this exact moment?” “Why did that couple seem happier than we do?” or “What if my anxiety means I should leave?” Ultimately, this constant internal checking takes its toll on the relationship, which becomes devoid of its natural spontaneity. The connection begins to feel emotionally tense, not because the relationship itself is unhealthy, but because OCD has turned love into a problem that constantly needs solving. Why you keep doubting your relationship When people think about OCD, they often imagine visible compulsions such as constant handwashing or repeatedly checking locks. However, Relationship OCD frequently operates through invisible mental rituals and reassurance-seeking behaviors. Common ROCD compulsions include mental review, where a person replays conversations or memories repeatedly to search for “evidence” of compatibility or incompatibility. It may also include compulsive comparison, where the relationship is constantly measured against other couples, movies, or past relationships. Other common compulsions include excessive research, such as Googling relationship advice, taking compatibility quizzes, or scanning online forums for answers. Reassurance seeking may also become frequent, with individuals repeatedly asking friends, family, therapists, or even their partner for validation that everything is okay. Some people experience confession loops, where they feel an overwhelming urge to repeatedly tell their partner about their doubts or passing thoughts. Others become caught in hypervigilant feeling-checking, constantly monitoring their internal feelings of love or attraction toward their partner. These compulsions might lower anxiety for a short time, but they make the OCD cycle stronger. The brain starts to believe that uncertainty is dangerous and must be fixed right away. This leads to tiring cycles of obsession, overthinking, brief relief, and more doubt. Why reassurance usually makes ROCD worse People with ROCD often look for reassurance, hoping it will calm their anxiety. Reassurance helps for a moment, but the relief does not last. Soon, the doubts return with a new angle. What if I missed something? What if my feelings are not genuine? What if I realise years later that this was a mistake? Over time, reassurance itself becomes part of the OCD cycle. The more someone relies on external validation to feel calm, the harder it becomes to tolerate uncertainty independently. Reclaiming your mental freedom requires a shift in strategy. Effective OCD treatment does not focus on helping people achieve perfect certainty about their relationships. Instead, it focuses on changing how individuals respond to intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and uncertainty itself. How ERP treats Relationship OCD Exposure and Response Prevention, or ERP, a specialised form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, is considered the gold standard treatment for OCD. ERP helps individuals gradually learn how to tolerate uncertainty while reducing compulsive behaviours and mental rituals. This therapeutic process is not just about preserving a relationship. It is about reducing cognitive fatigue and reclaiming peace of mind. Successful treatment for Relationship OCD often involves becoming aware of and reducing compulsive rumination, disengaging from emotional and physical feeling checking loops, and drastically reducing reassurance seeking and compulsive comparison patterns. It also involves learning to allow uncertainty to exist without trying to solve it immediately and shifting focus away from compulsive fear and back toward personal values. The goal of treatment is not to force a decision or generate artificial certainty about a partner. Instead, therapy helps individuals develop a healthier relationship with uncertainty itself. Over time, the mind learns that thoughts and emotions do not always require immediate analysis, answers, or resolution. Breaking free from Relationship OCD All relationships involve a degree of uncertainty, vulnerability, and periods of natural ebb and flow. However, when relationship fears become obsessive, repetitive, and emotionally consuming, it is worth exploring whether OCD may be the culprit. Relationship OCD can leave people feeling trapped between fear, guilt, confusion, and overwhelming pressure. Many suffer in silence because they fear their thoughts mean something terrible about their character or their capacity to love. Yet intrusive thoughts are not reflections of truth, intuition, or hidden desires. Sometimes, they are simply symptoms of anxiety and OCD attaching themselves to what matters most deeply to you. With appropriate treatment, support, and patience, it is possible to break free from the exhaustion of overanalysis, learn to tolerate the unknown, and move toward a more grounded and meaningful life. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Eliana Bonaguro Eliana Bonaguro, Licensed Mental Health Counselor Eliana Bonaguro, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor specializing in OCD, anxiety disorders, panic disorder, agoraphobia, and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. She is also the author and illustrator of several mental health guides that blend evidence-based psychology with visual storytelling to make complex mental health concepts more approachable and easier to understand. Her insights and contributions have been featured in Forbes, Healthline, Newsweek, and RTOR.

In a time of market volatility, financial uncertainty, and increasing anxiety around money, a transformative new book is inviting readers to rethink their relationship with wealth. The Awakened Investor, by Wealth Curator and author Tim “Jai” Baker, offers a revolutionary approach to investing – one that blends traditional financial wisdom with emotional intelligence, behavioral finance, and conscious living. As investors navigate unpredictable markets and emotionally charged financial decisions, The Awakened Investor arrives at a pivotal moment, offering a refreshing perspective on long-term wealth building. Rather than focusing solely on returns, market timing, or financial products, the book explores a deeper truth: sustainable financial success begins within. Drawing on decades of experience in the financial industry, Jai Baker challenges readers to recognize how fear, unconscious beliefs, media narratives, emotional triggers, and inherited money patterns often influence investment decisions far more than logic alone. Through practical insights and thought-provoking reflections, The Awakened Investor provides readers with tools to cultivate clarity, patience, and confidence in their financial lives. “True wealth is not simply accumulation,” Baker explains. “It is alignment – between your values, your decisions, and the life you genuinely want to create.” Unlike traditional investing books focused exclusively on performance, The Awakened Investor integrates the principles of behavioral finance, mindful investing, emotional resilience, and financial wellness, helping readers understand not only what they invest in but why they make financial decisions in the first place. For both seasoned investors and those beginning their financial journey, the book serves as a guide for navigating uncertainty with greater awareness and emotional steadiness. It speaks directly to individuals seeking not only financial growth, but also a healthier, more intentional relationship with money. About the author Tim “Jai” Baker is a Wealth Curator, author, and founder of Luminous Wealth, a Virtual Multi-Family Office designed to integrate financial planning with personal values, emotional well-being, and authentic life goals. After spending decades on Financial Street within an industry driven by commissions and quarterly performance, Jai became increasingly disillusioned with a system that prioritized products over people. A pivotal turning point came in 1997 during an eight-day Chakra Meditation Retreat with Deepak Chopra in Australia, sparking a profound awakening around the relationship between money and consciousness. This realization inspired Jai to leave the traditional financial system and establish an independent advisory firm in North Carolina focused on transparency, trust, and long-term client relationships. After selling the firm in 2021 and taking a two-year sabbatical, he returned to launch Luminous Wealth in 2023, where he now helps individuals uncover unconscious money beliefs and align their financial lives with purpose, fulfillment, and emotional freedom. Through his work and The Awakened Investor, Jai seeks to inspire both individuals and the financial industry to embrace a more conscious standard of prosperity – one that aligns wealth with meaning, emotional wellness, and an awakened heart. “When people heal their financial anxieties, they free up enormous creative and emotional energy,” says Baker. “Prosperity and fulfillment can grow together – but only if consciousness leads the way.” About The Awakened Investor The Awakened Investor is a transformational guide to investing that bridges behavioral finance, emotional intelligence, and conscious wealth creation. By helping readers understand the psychology behind financial decision-making, the book empowers individuals to build sustainable wealth with greater confidence, clarity, and purpose. The Awakened Investor is available in Paperback, Hardback, Kindle, and as an audiobook through Amazon.com. Media contact Tim “Jai” Baker Wealth Curator 1.561.919.4808 Jai@luminouswealth.com

Written by Carlo Cecchetti, Relational Landscape Facilitator and Coach Carlo Cecchetti facilitates relational natural landscaping resonant to the Earth's consciousness and resources. Founder of Integral Gardens, Carlos's work expresses through the human body, relational energetic containers and systemic landscape to channel energies of belonging. The results organisations achieve through their systemic practices depend on the resources they access and on the use of systemic tools that can find them. Organisations with an interest in using systemic practices may not be aware that not every systemic process accesses, by default, any natural resources an organisation can work with. Imagine having watched TV programmes through a standard TV UHF aerial only. Content accessible through a satellite dish, digital decoder, and other devices has been excluded in the meantime. In accessing fields in systemic work, the relational container is the equivalent of the device used to access TV content. A relational container is determined by the energy of the practitioner and what it connects to, not by the systemic processes being used by the practitioner. There is a belief in the systemic industry that it is sufficient for any practitioner to “connect to the field of the client” to access any field of information, for any client, by default. This is simply not true. Regardless of the processes being used, clients will not be able to access what the practitioner is not connected to. When needed, just as upgrading a signal tuner, in order to provide clients with access to more dimensions, practitioners will need to do inner work on themselves first. About my work My work is through human bodies, the organisational field, and elements of the systemic landscape, initiated to provide access to unique energies of belonging for self-regulation. I include the Being Held by the Universe dimension. Visualise inside of you our planet Earth in space, not falling because of the gravitational forces holding it. How do you feel visualising the Earth that cannot fall with all its weight? That internal knowing, “we cannot fall”, is the prerequisite floor, the liberation enabling any other individuation and releasing the weights we carry and need to let go of for transformation. Equally relevant, I bring direct access to the Earth’s consciousness, energy, and resources, where the organisational field holds its energetic bandwidth at One with the Earth’s magnetic field. This is the dimension of our collective root for stability, safety, and secure attachments, as the anchoring foundation for transformation and creativity, where structure and spontaneity are felt by our bodies. These two dimensions combined also restore access to universal consciousness rooted here on our planet, providing an unlimited supply of energy to the demanding systemic human practices going forward. In this Earth dimension, we can access MoltenGaia for Earth transformation capacity that individuals can also work with at scale. Here, we can also access the Earth’s Transducer for creative capability at Earth scale, to generate new relational value that can also be reflected as financial value. Creativity here is intended as finding solutions for simplifying processes, strategies, and new insights. Because of its ancestral nature of generating new life expressions, accessing the Earth dimension enables and resources artistry as an expression of our planet as an evolutionary, self-regenerating living organism together with humans. Another service organisations can find here is the ability to inform and test, directly in real time, their glocal impact operations and environmental policies. What will be very clear to people accessing the Earth dimension is feedback on “protecting the environment”. There will be direct guidance from this space about restoring our indigenous human wisdom of not interfering and working with the Earth, self-regenerating itself, while leaving a minimum environmental footprint at the same time. A relational landscape at work with nature in organisations Through these Earth resonant ecosystems, internal catalysts, practitioners, and teams can practise and self-regulate through natural physical elements of design initiated to provide access to the organisational field. This is designed to provide people who wish a focus through physical elements of nature instead of direct internal tuning to the same field. These channelling physical elements are at the convergence of energy and matter and are generated by working directly with the organisational field, which will initiate existing and new natural elements of landscape to provide people with direct field access. I remember working with a client where their field initiated a picture of a glass of wine that was already on the wall to facilitate access to transformation. Crucially, the organisational field provides people with universal access for self-regulation, generating elements that meet people’s different learning styles and needs. Working with nature as a universal language, the field can manifest visual images, written sentences, natural elements that vibrate at yoga frequency, spaces where people can stop and ask to receive a sentence, spaces for stopping and grounding at One with the Earth, water sounds and vibrations, and colours to use chakras as bridges between humans and the organisational body. On request, I provide written self-regulation guidance people can use. My services are available directly to organisations and also to practitioners wishing to explore possibilities by working on their relational containers. How do you imagine it would be for you to work in an organisational environment like this? Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Carlo Cecchetti Carlo Cecchetti, Relational Landscape Facilitator and Coach Carlo Cecchetti specializes in human relational abilities resonant to the Earth's consciousness and resources. Born in a family of landscape designers, his personal development led him to help people remember themselves being held at One with the Earth. Founder of Integral Gardens, Carlo's work delivers through the human body, relational containers and bespoke systemic landscape to anchor and channel unique energies of belonging.

Written by Anastasia Schenk, Pediatric Feeding Specialist/Integrative Nutrition Anastasia Schenk is a Pediatric Feeding Specialist and Integrative Nutrition Health Coach. She supports children from starting solids to young adulthood with evidence-based strategies for ARFID, picky eating, gut health, immune support, allergy prevention, and chronic inflammation. It is 7 pm. Dinner has been refused for the third night in a row. Your child has eaten approximately one cracker and the parsley off your plate. You scroll your phone, half watching them, half searching for something, anything, that might fix this. The algorithm has already understood you. A pastel bottle appears. Trusted by 50,000 parents. Picky eater approved. A pediatrician formulated. You add it to the cart. You feel a little better. This is the entire business model. The customer is not your child Children don’t buy supplements. Children couldn’t care less about magnesium, cacao or methylated B-vitamins. The customer is the exhausted parent of a child who eats three foods, and who would do almost anything to make sure those three foods are not the reason something is being missed. The implication is never quite said out loud, but it is always there. Your child has deficits. The deficits are probably your fault. This bottle will quietly cover what you have not been able to. A recent Swiss study of nearly 2,000 families found 58% buy supplements or special children’s food to promote their child’s health. The marketing has worked. I have been that parent. These products are not the answer they pretend to be. What happened when somebody tested the bottle Nutrition science studies whole food. When researchers see that populations eating more colourful fruits and vegetables have less cancer, the headline becomes “antioxidants are good for you” and an industry bottles them. Then the trials get run. In the 1990s, beta-carotene supplements were given to people at high risk of lung cancer, because carrots are linked to less lung cancer. The CARET trial was stopped 21 months early. The supplement group developed lung cancer at a 28% higher rate than the placebo group, and died at a 17% higher rate. A larger trial called SELECT did the same thing with vitamin E and prostate cancer, it increased risk by 17%. Stopped early. The Cochrane Collaboration, the global gold standard for medical evidence, has since pooled 78 randomised trials of antioxidant supplements. No mortality benefit. Beta-carotene and vitamin E appeared to slightly increase the risk of dying. Last year, the largest study yet looked at 390,000 healthy adults followed for twenty years. Daily multivitamin users did not live longer. They had a small but real increase in death from any cause. The largest study ever done on whether a daily multivitamin extends your life quietly found the opposite. Why a pill is not an orange The reason has a name. The food matrix. Take an orange, the vitamin C inside comes packaged with fibre, water, dozens of flavonoids, and a long list of other compounds that change how the body absorbs and uses it. Pull that vitamin C out, put it in a chewable, and the body recognises something different. It absorbs less, processes it differently, and pees most of the excess out within hours. The carrot study did not find that beta-carotene prevented cancer. It found that carrots did. The two arguments that come up every single time Two arguments come up every time. Worth addressing both. The soil is depleted, so food doesn’t have the nutrients it used to. There is some truth that intensive farming has lowered certain mineral levels in some crops, but the effect is routinely overstated in supplement marketing. A carrot is still mostly a carrot. The studies showing benefits from food were done on food grown in current conditions, not in 1840. We can’t eat fish because of mercury. Mercury levels vary enormously by species. Smaller, shorter-lived fish like sardines, anchovies, salmon, and trout are low in mercury and safe to eat regularly, including for children. The fish to limit are the large predatory ones, such as sharks, swordfish, and big tuna. A capsule is not the only alternative to a fish you are nervous about. The right fish is. The capsule may not be harmless either. Independent laboratories have found roughly 45% of omega-3 supplements on the market are rancid, with children’s products showing the highest oxidation values of any category tested. Where the goodness in the capsule actually comes from A question worth sitting with. Where do you think the things inside those capsules come from? Unicorn tears? Vitamin C is almost never extracted from a lemon. The cheapest route is to take corn starch, convert it to glucose, hydrogenate it with a nickel catalyst, ferment it with bacteria, and put it through chemical conversions until ascorbic acid falls out the other end. The process was developed in a Zürich laboratory in 1933, won a Nobel Prize, and is now behind almost every vitamin C supplement on the planet. Vitamin D3, the one most kids’ bottles proudly contain, is extracted from sheep wool grease. Wool is sheared, washed in hot detergent, and the lanolin is saponified, centrifuged, refined, and irradiated with UV light. Your toddler’s chewable comes from sheep wool grease. Vitamin E, the one the trials kept showing harm from, is typically stripped out of vegetable oils with chemical solvents. The industry runs on the premise that you can take the goodness out of a food and bottle it. What made the nutrient useful was everything sitting next to it inside the food. This is, by every reasonable definition, ultra-processed food. The exact category parents are told to avoid. Reformatted into a chewable. The execution is also a mess Even if you accept the premise, the quality control is worse than you think. In its 2025 review, Stiftung Warentest, the consumer testing body Swiss and German families know, tested 18 children’s supplements from familiar brands like Abtei, Centrum, Doppelherz, Sanostol, and Orthomol. Seventeen of the 18 had defects. The institute strongly advised against five of them because they contained levels of copper or vitamin A high enough to cause health problems in children. Some doses exceeded the recommended upper limits for adults. A year earlier, the Bern University of Applied Sciences ran its own analysis of children’s supplements on the Swiss market. The conclusion was three words: superfluous, expensive, overdosed. Then there is melatonin, the new darling of the supplement aisle, marketed as a calm, natural sleep aid for children. In Switzerland, it cannot legally be sold as a food supplement at all. Swissmedic classifies it as a prescription-only medicine. The same is true in the UK, Denmark, the Czech Republic, and Slovenia. A 2025 European analysis still found melatonin products reaching EU consumers via American-style channels that exceeded permitted doses by triple, several aimed straight at children. Pediatric melatonin poisonings in countries where the gummies are sold freely have risen over 500% in the last decade. Two children have died. In 2024, the French food safety agency ANSES, after reviewing 165 documented adverse event cases, officially recommended suspending vitamin supplements for children under three except under specific medical advice. That is a government agency telling parents to stop. If your child is a picky eater You did not cause this. Picky eating is developmentally normal and deeply common, peaking between two and six years old. Most children grow out of it. A supplement is not protecting you from a deficit you created. The thing that actually helps is patient, repeated, low-pressure exposure to a wide variety of foods, supported properly, over months and sometimes years. The evidence suggests it takes around 8 to 15 exposures to a food before a child reliably accepts it. Not eight times in a week. Eight times spread out, without pressure, without bribes, without the parent at the table holding their breath. Not a powder. Not a gummy. The work is slower and far less satisfying to scroll past. It also works. Before you buy another bottle, ask three things. Has a paediatrician identified a specific, diagnosed deficit? Has someone who actually knows your child’s full diet, history, and growth recommended this product? Have you worked on food first, with proper support, for long enough to know? If the answer to all three is no, the bottle can wait and so can the guilt. Follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Anastasia Schenk Anastasia Schenk, Pediatric Feeding Specialist/Integrative Nutrition Anastasia Schenk is a Pediatric Feeding Specialist and Integrative Nutrition Health Coach who reversed her own autoimmune disease through nutrition. A mother of two, she combines clinical expertise with lived experience to help families navigate picky eating, Pediatric Feeding Disorders, ARFID, gut health, and chronic inflammation. Her programs are evidence-based and rooted in real life, supporting children from starting solids to young adulthood. She is the founder of Early Eaters Club, a platform dedicated to raising resilient, adventurous eaters for lifelong health.

Clayton Leavitt is an attachment-based relationship coach and trained counsellor who helps people understand and transform the deeper emotional patterns shaping their relationships. His work focuses on identifying core beliefs formed through early attachment experiences and guiding clients toward lasting change through self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and values-based action. Clayton Leavitt, Attachment-Based Relationship Coach and Trained Counsellor How does understanding attachment theory help individuals transform their relationship patterns and cultivate healthier connections? Understanding attachment theory helps people see that their relationship patterns aren’t random – they were learned. In my work with clients, one of the biggest shifts happens when people begin to see that the way they respond in relationships is often shaped by early experiences of connection, safety, and inconsistency. What once helped them stay connected or protected often continues to show up long after those environments have changed. For a lot of people, this also softens the tendency toward self-blame. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” they start to see that their responses make sense in the context of what they’ve lived through. When that shift happens, the focus moves away from trying to fix themselves and toward becoming curious about the patterns they’ve developed – and that’s where real change begins. What key emotional patterns do you find most often shape the relationships of your clients, and how can they be shifted? Most of the patterns I see tend to follow a few familiar dynamics – moving toward connection in a way that overextends yourself, or pulling away from it in a way that protects you from vulnerability. Underneath those patterns are usually a few core beliefs: “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,” or “I’m a burden.” From there, people begin to organize their behavior around those beliefs – either trying to secure connection or avoid the risk of losing it. Many people already recognize the pattern. What they don’t always understand is why it keeps happening. The shift doesn’t come from trying to stop the behavior directly. It comes from understanding what that pattern is trying to do. When people begin to see these responses as protective rather than problematic, they can start relating to them differently – and that’s what allows the pattern to change. How does integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) into your approach enhance emotional intelligence and relational growth? IFS offers a way to understand that we’re not just one consistent self – we’re made up of different parts, each with its own role, perspective, and intention. What many people experience as “self-sabotage” is often a protective part trying to prevent something painful from happening again. When those parts are met with curiosity instead of judgment, something begins to shift. Part of the process is helping these parts become aware of each other. Often, they’ve been operating in isolation, each trying to do its job without understanding the role of the others. As they begin to recognize one another, the system becomes more aligned and less reactive. Emotional intelligence deepens, not because people are trying harder to manage themselves, but because they start to understand what’s happening inside of them in real time. From there, the patterns that show up in relationships begin to make more sense. And when those patterns make sense, people are less reactive, more grounded, and more able to respond in a way that actually aligns with who they are. What are the most profound changes you’ve witnessed in clients once they develop a secure relationship with themselves? One of the most profound shifts is that people stop relating to themselves through criticism and start relating to themselves through understanding. For many, that inner critic begins to soften. They start to recognize that the voice they’ve been relating to as their own is often a reflection of an internalized authority figure, rather than something inherently true. In its place, a more gentle, supportive, and nourishing way of relating to themselves begins to emerge. From there, something begins to settle. There’s less internal conflict, less second-guessing, and a greater sense of steadiness in how they move through their lives. Boundaries become clearer – not because they’re forcing them, but because they feel more connected to what actually matters to them. Decisions feel less confusing. Relationships feel less like something to manage and more like something to be in. There’s also a shift in how they experience others. They become less reactive, less interpretive, and more able to stay present. It’s not that challenges disappear, but they’re no longer navigating them from a place of internal instability. What are the biggest misconceptions about attachment styles, and how can your approach to emotional intelligence help debunk them? One of the biggest misconceptions is that attachment styles are fixed identities. People will often say, “I’m anxious” or “I’m avoidant,” and begin to relate to that as who they are. But attachment is better understood as a set of learned strategies, not a permanent label. It’s also important to recognize that attachment exists on a spectrum. Someone may lean more anxious, but still have avoidant patterns that show up in certain situations. These patterns are fluid, and they can shift over time as people begin to understand themselves more deeply. Another misconception is that awareness alone is enough to create change. Many people can clearly identify their patterns and still find themselves repeating the same dynamics, which often leads to more frustration and self-blame. A big part of the work is reframing how people relate to those patterns. Instead of seeing them as something that needs to be fixed, they begin to understand them as protective responses that once made sense. That shift reduces self-blame and opens the door to something different. Emotional intelligence then becomes less about managing or controlling reactions, and more about understanding them. And from that place, people can begin to change their relationship to those patterns – rather than trying to force them to disappear. What does it mean to truly feel safe in a relationship, and why is that so difficult for many people? Feeling safe in a relationship isn’t just about the other person’s behavior – it’s about how your nervous system experiences connection. Many people find themselves in relationships that are objectively safe, but their system doesn’t register it that way. Instead, it responds based on what it has learned from past experiences, where closeness may have been inconsistent, overwhelming, or unpredictable. Because of that, safety can feel unfamiliar. And unfamiliar often gets interpreted as unsafe. This is where a lot of confusion happens. People assume something is wrong with the relationship, or with themselves, when in reality their system is responding to something much older. What I often see is that people feel like they have to earn safety – to perform, get it right, or manage the relationship in order to keep it. Those responses are usually protective parts stepping in, trying to prevent something painful from happening again. Developing a sense of safety, then, isn’t about finding the perfect partner – it’s about creating a different relationship with your internal experience. As that begins to shift, people feel less pressure to perform and more able to simply be in the relationship. From there, they can stay more present, communicate more clearly, and respond rather than react. The patterns don’t disappear overnight, but they no longer have the same hold – and that’s where something new becomes possible. Follow me on LinkedIn, and YouTube for more info! Read more from Clayton Leavitt

Written by Lovisa Engstrand, Nervous System & Stress Specialist Lovisa Engstrand is a Nervous System & Stress Specialist and breathwork practitioner who helps high-functioning women shift out of chronic stress and survival mode so they can sleep deeply, feel calm, and show up fully without burning out or pushing harder. Ram Das once said, “If you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family”. He was joking. He was also entirely serious. If you have ever walked back into your childhood home as a fully grown adult, capable, self-aware, perhaps even someone who teaches others how to regulate their nervous system, and still found yourself faintly furious about a question regarding breakfast, this article is for you. I am going to explain exactly why it happens, and what to do about it. Have you ever walked into your childhood home and immediately felt fourteen again? It is day four. I am sitting at the kitchen table, where I have sat approximately ten thousand times in my life. The same table, the same chairs, the same slightly uneven leg that rocks if you shift your weight wrong, which I noticed immediately, because apparently my body remembered that even though I have not lived here for over a decade. My mother is asking me if I want hard-boiled eggs for breakfast. I have already had breakfast. She saw me eat breakfast. Still, she is asking. I had already cleaned the stovetop to perfection that morning, after my milk boiled over on the induction stove I had forgotten existed, scrubbing it meticulously because fingerprints on the stove will, in this house, put you on house arrest. Then I remembered I am thirty-one years old and I work from home, so it would make no sense to ground me whatsoever. I also spent approximately three minutes wrestling with the back door before it opened. My body has apparently not retained that particular piece of muscle memory. I take a breath, the long kind that I teach other people to take. I remind myself that I am a nervous system specialist. I remind myself that I understand co-regulation, the window of tolerance, and the importance of responding rather than reacting. I am still sitting here feeling fourteen years old and faintly furious about a question about breakfast. I am on day four of sixty. I have moved back home to Sweden, into my parents' house, into my childhood bedroom. I am thirty-one years old. I have lived independently in Australia, Canada, and the United States, travelled across the globe. I have navigated more challenging situations than most people encounter in a lifetime. Currently, my husband and I are in the middle of a 2-stage, highly complex urethroplasty, a complete reconstruction of his urethra, challenging us in ways neither of us expected. None of that, it turns out, is sufficient preparation for this kitchen table. If this is familiar, if you have ever been in a situation where you absolutely know better and still cannot seem to act like it, then what I am about to tell you is not a comfort. It is something more useful than that. It is an explanation. What is actually happening in your nervous system when you go home What is context-dependent state activation and why does it make you feel like a different person? Your nervous system is a pattern recognition machine. From the very beginning of your life, it was building maps of what safety looks like here, what connection feels like here, how you need to be in this specific space in order to be okay. Those maps were built in early childhood, fast and deep, and without your conscious input. So when you walk back into that environment, the same table, the same smell, the same particular quality of your mother's voice, your nervous system does something completely automatic. It reaches for the old map. Not because you are weak, or unhealed, or have not done enough work on yourself. But because that is what nervous systems do. They pattern-match. They say, I know this place. I know what to do here. Then they hand you the old software. The old software is the version of you that was fourteen, or twelve, or eight, or four. It is the version of you that learned, in this very specific environment, how to manage belonging, approval, and safety. She is not wrong, that version. She was doing exactly what she needed to do. But she is not who you are now. The gap between who you are now and who your nervous system thinks you need to be The gap between who you are now and who your nervous system thinks you need to be in this room, that gap is where the agitation lives. On day two, I walked down the familiar path through the soft moss, across the meadow, and through the green canopy to the lake. To the dock my father built. The place that has received me with grace and compassion, across every season of my life, exactly as I am. Standing there, I could see the island where I held my junior high graduation party at fifteen. In preparation, I had written letters to every parent in my class assuring them there would be adult supervision at all times and absolutely no alcohol involved. There was a great deal of alcohol involved. My grandmother house-sat from three hundred metres away and waved at us twice a day from the dock. I had completely forgotten that I was once this person. My nervous system, it turns out, had not. Because that is the thing about going home, it does not just show you who you were. It shows you the full distance between that version and this one. Somewhere in that distance is exactly where the work lives. That is context-dependent state activation and it is happening in real time, at this lakeside dock, right now. Why your parents have not done anything wrong, and why does that not make it easier Research in nervous system science shows that when you return to an environment where you were formed, your nervous system can revert to earlier emotional responses even when you have done significant personal growth work. Your parents do not need to have done anything wrong. This is the context-dependent state activation. The environment itself, the sounds, the smells, the patterns of interaction, and the roles established decades ago are enough to activate the old responses. You become hypervigilant in ways you are not hypervigilant anywhere else. You read your mother's tone in a way you would never read a colleague's tone. You monitor your own reactions, and then have reactions about your own reactions, which is its own exhausting loop. Here is something worth saying clearly: this is not your parents' fault. They are people who love you. They are also people with their own nervous systems, their own maps, their own patterns established across their entire lives. When you come home, you are not walking into a neutral space. You are walking into a nervous system ecosystem, one with its own history, rhythms, and ways of doing things. Your job is not to fix the ecosystem. Your job is to find your own regulation inside of it. Which is, as I can confirm from day four of sixty, genuinely hard. Three tools that work in real kitchens, in real moments Awareness alone is not enough. You need tools that work in real time in real kitchens, with real breakfast scenarios, when you feel the old version of yourself sliding back into the driver's seat. Here are the three I come back to. 1. Journaling: Unfiltered, not optimised Not a gratitude list. Honest, unfiltered writing, the kind where you write, I felt fourteen years old this morning because someone asked me about breakfast, and I do not know what to do with it. The reason this works is not only cathartic. When you write something down, you create distance between yourself and the experience. You move it from inside your nervous system to outside of it. You can look at it, get curious about it, rather than just being inside it. When you feel the agitation rising when you are three days in and something small has landed harder than it should, write it down before you say it, before you act on it. Get it out of your body and onto the page. Then ask yourself, what is actually going on for me here? What is this really about? 2. The 4-6 breath: The fastest route back to your prefrontal cortex A longer exhale than inhale directly activates the vagus nerve, signalling to your body that the threat has passed and it is safe to come down. Inhale through the nose for four counts. Exhale through your nose for six counts. Ten to fifteen rounds take three to four minutes and are enough to meaningfully shift your physiological state, not erase the difficulty, but give your prefrontal cortex enough access to function so you can choose a response rather than just have a reaction. Here is a guided session for you to use. Do this before you walk back into the kitchen. Before a difficult conversation. In the bathroom with the door locked, if that is what it takes. I am not judging I have done it. I am doing it right now. If you want to explore more breathing techniques, this guide will be helpful. 3. Curiosity over management Not performance, not forced positivity, not pretending you are fine when you are not. Genuine curiosity about the people in front of you who are, if you let yourself see them clearly, actually quite remarkable people who have been living their entire lives trying their best with what they had. When the question about breakfast lands for the seventh time, instead of managing your reaction to it, try getting curious about it. Why does she ask this? What is she actually saying when she asks this? What is the version of love this question comes from? In my case, both of my parents express love through acts of service. We do not always speak the same love language. Knowing that does not make the question less frequent. But it makes it land differently as love in the only language they currently have, rather than as something being done to me. The genuine turning toward rather than the managing away is what makes the difference between surviving time with your family and actually being present in it. Which is, as Ram Das would tell you, the whole practice. How the nervous system actually changes There is no environment that will show you your edges faster, activate your old patterns more reliably, or humble you more thoroughly than the people who knew you before you knew yourself. There is also no environment with more potential to show you exactly where the real work is. Practice done consistently in exactly the environments that are hardest for you to practice in is how the nervous system actually changes. Not through insight. Not through reading the right article at the right time. Through the repeated, lived, often unglamorous experience of catching yourself sliding into the old software, and choosing slowly, imperfectly, one breath at a time, something different. The most regulated person in the room has the most influence. On a good day, that can be you. On a hard day, the best you will manage is breathing through your nose on a walk and coming home slightly less reactive than when you left. That counts. It genuinely counts. Ram Das said, “If you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family”. It is day four of sixty. I know I have not tried my absolute best yet to get where I want to be. But I notice my patterns, I notice my behaviour, and I do the things I need to do to come home softer than when I left, whether that is journaling, going for a bike ride, or just breathing through my nose past the cows on the road. That is not enlightenment. That is just practice. But practice done consistently, in exactly the environments that are hardest for you to practice in, that is how the nervous system actually changes. Find out which nervous system pattern is running you and change it If this resonated, if you recognise the agitation, the hypervigilance, the exhausting loop of having reactions about your own reactions, the most useful next step is understanding which nervous system pattern is underneath it. Because the way this shows up for you is specific to you, and the tools that shift it are specific to that pattern. Take the free Nervous System Archetype Quiz in three minutes, and it will tell you exactly which of the six patterns your system is running, what has been maintaining it, and where to begin. The work that shifts needs to be built around that. I work with a small number of women at a time in personalized 1:1 coaching, structured support built around your specific nervous system pattern and your particular version of the stress, the reactivity, and the depletion. This is not a generic program. It is built around you. If you are ready for that kind of support, book a free 30-minute discovery call to explore whether 1:1 coaching is the right next step. Take care of your nervous system this week. If you are home with family right now, try to be curious. The most regulated person in the room has the most influence. That can be you. Follow me on Instagram for more tools on nervous system regulation and wellbeing. Visit my website for more info! Read more from Lovisa Engstrand Lovisa Engstrand, Nervous System & Stress Specialist Lovisa Engstrand is a Nervous System & Stress Specialist and breathwork practitioner working at the intersection of psychology, physiology, and behaviour change. She specialises in helping high-functioning women who feel exhausted, overstimulated, anxious, or stuck in survival mode. Her work is grounded in her own lived experience of training, eating well, and still waking up anxious, bloated, and depleted - until she understood her nervous system. Through her Regulate & Restore Framework, Lovisa addresses stress regulation, sleep, movement, nutrition, and identity to help women rebuild capacity from the body up. She lives between Australia, Sweden, Canada, and the USA and works with clients globally through 1:1 containers & online programs. Please note: This article is for informational purposes only and reflects personal experience alongside nervous system science. It is not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you are navigating complex family dynamics or trauma responses, please seek support from a qualified practitioner.

Written by Abi Hill, Entrepreneur, Mentor & Coach Abi Hill is a UK entrepreneur, mentor & coach, and the founder of Just Starting Out. Widely recognised for championing underserved communities and cost-of-living resilience, she’s on a mission to cut first-year failure rates. “If you want to make waves, pack a swimsuit!” For years, ambition was associated with movement. Climbing the ladder. Chasing promotions. Switching industries. Launching businesses. Relocating for opportunities. Reinventing yourself repeatedly in pursuit of something bigger, better, or more fulfilling. But something has changed. Britain has not stopped working, but many professionals have quietly stopped moving. Across offices, remote workspaces, retail floors, hospitality venues, and corporate boardrooms, there appears to be a growing sense of emotional paralysis within the workforce. Millions of people are waking up each morning to jobs they have mentally outgrown, yet feel unable to leave. Others dream of starting businesses, changing careers, reducing hours, or pursuing more meaningful lives, but remain frozen by uncertainty. So, we ask ourselves, has ambition become costly? As the co-founder of a platform supporting early-stage business owners and someone who has spent years researching the realities facing aspiring entrepreneurs and working professionals across the UK, I believe we are entering what could best be described as “The Great Career Freeze”, a period where people are increasingly prioritising stability over progression and survival over risk. What is the great career freeze? The Great Career Freeze is not a lack of ambition. It is the growing gap between what people want to do and what they feel financially able to do. Many professionals still aspire to launch businesses, retrain, pursue promotions, reduce their hours, or explore entirely new career paths. The difference is that the consequences of making the wrong move now feel far greater than they once did. A mortgage payment still arrives every month. Childcare costs continue to rise. Household bills seem determined to break personal records. Even those who are financially comfortable often feel less secure than they did just a few years ago. Twenty years ago, many workers worried about being replaced by another person. Today, some are wondering whether they will be replaced by software capable of fulfilling their role before they have finished their morning coffee. The result is a workforce that often feels simultaneously exhausted, anxious, and hesitant to make major career decisions. The rise of career paralysis One of the most overlooked challenges facing professionals today is not a lack of opportunity, but an overwhelming abundance of it. Social media presents a never-ending stream of success stories. Every day, someone appears to be launching a six-figure business from a laptop, retiring at 24, becoming a digital nomad, or discovering the secret formula to wealth while working four hours a week from a beach somewhere considerably warmer than Birmingham. The reality, of course, is somewhat different. Most people are not contemplating whether to buy a villa in Bali. They are wondering whether they can justify replacing the washing machine, paying for driving lessons for their teenager, or booking a family holiday without feeling mildly irresponsible. Comparison has always existed, but technology has amplified it. It used to happen occasionally at school reunions. Now it happens every time we unlock our phones. Career paralysis is not always obvious. According to recent UK research from Careershifters, nearly three quarters of aspiring career changers have been considering a move for at least a year, while more than a quarter have been contemplating change for over three years. The desire to move exists. The action often does not. Why stability has become the new promotion Historically, career success was often measured through progression. A better title. A larger office. A pay rise. Greater responsibility. Today, many professionals define success rather differently, and increasingly, stability has become the aspiration. Even individuals who openly admit they no longer enjoy their jobs often choose to remain where they are because certainty has become one of the most valuable commodities in modern working life. This phenomenon is particularly visible among aspiring entrepreneurs. Over the past several years, I have spoken with countless individuals who dream of becoming self-employed. Talented photographers. Skilled tradespeople. Designers. Consultants. Coaches. Dog groomers. Bakers. Accountants. You name it, we have heard from them. Most possess the ability to succeed. Most possess the desire to succeed. What they often lack is confidence that now is the right time to take the leap. As a result, side hustles are replacing full business launches. Research from Scottish Widows found that nearly one in five UK adults now has a side hustle or additional source of income, highlighting a growing reluctance to rely solely on one employer for financial security. Related article: Bootstrapping your side hustle: 6 ways to save costs The hidden cost of staying put Remaining in a safe position is often portrayed as the responsible choice. Sometimes it is. However, there is a hidden cost associated with permanent caution. People who repeatedly delay opportunities often experience declining confidence over time. The longer we postpone action, the larger the obstacle appears. A decision that initially felt intimidating gradually begins to feel impossible. I have met countless people who have spent years preparing to start something new. They have researched the market, designed the logo, purchased the domain name, created the business plan, and watched every YouTube tutorial known to mankind. Some have reached the point where they possess enough preparation to launch three separate businesses simultaneously, yet they still hesitate because they are waiting for certainty. The problem with this, of course, is that certainty rarely arrives. Life itself seems remarkably unwilling to provide guarantees, other than death, bills, and taxes, as we all know. Four practical ways to escape the career freeze 1. Start before you feel ready One of the biggest misconceptions about success is that confidence comes first. In reality, confidence is often the result of action rather than the prerequisite for it. Many people spend years waiting until they feel completely prepared to make a move, launch a business, or pursue a new opportunity. In my experience, the people who make the best early progress are usually those who start while still feeling uncertain. 2. Focus on one small step When viewed as a whole, career changes and business ventures can feel overwhelming. It is the same as tidying the house after a large gathering. The good news is that meaningful progress usually happens bit by bit. It often begins with one customer. One networking event. One proposal. One conversation. One social media post published despite worrying that nobody will read it. Small actions may feel insignificant in isolation, but they create momentum that larger ambitions can grow from. 3. Stop chasing perfect timing There is always a reason to delay today. The economy might improve next year. Interest rates might fall. Work might become less busy. Life might become less complicated. Yet perfect timing is a whopping myth. Successful people did not act because conditions were ideal. They did it because they recognised that waiting indefinitely carried its own risks. 4. Build confidence through action Nobody learns to swim by reading books about swimming, right? I remember in my early twenties, I ran a bar for a few months and convinced myself that repeatedly watching Tom Cruise in Cocktail counted as training. Did it help me on my first shift? Not remotely. To this day, I still cannot pull a pint properly. What is my point? At some stage, you have to get into the water, even if it is only up to your knees. The same applies to careers, businesses, and personal growth. Eventually, preparation has to make way for action. The future belongs to the flexible If there is one lesson emerging from today’s economic climate, it is that adaptability may be becoming more valuable than certainty. The individuals who thrive over the next decade will be those who are willing to experiment and adjust. The modern workplace is changing rapidly. Technology continues to reshape industries, and consumer behaviour evolves constantly. Entire professions are literally transforming before our eyes. Those who remain flexible will be best positioned to take advantage of opportunities as they emerge. Just think, if business has changed so much in the last twenty years, what will it look like twenty years from now? Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Abi Hill Abi Hill, Entrepreneur, Mentor & Coach Drawing from a Senior Management background and 20+ years working alongside minority and underserved communities, Abi is best known for advocating within the start-up community, her mission being to reduce the 20% of small businesses that don’t make it through year one by giving them the tools, training, and trust they deserve. Because why should starting out mean forking out?

Written by Marianne Van Oyen, Psychologist | Author Marianne Van Oyen is a psychologist in private practice with over 30 years of experience. She is a published author with three books to offer those who wish to expand their knowledge and skills by implementing her tools and insights. Marianne brings a blend of intuition, creativity, and psychology to her work. Ready to elevate your energy, efficiency and enjoyment? In today's very busy lifestyle, knowing how to conserve and use your energy effectively is essential. Whether you are a single person or a parent, knowing how to manage these resources is crucial. In this article, we will explore four ways to maximize your time, energy and efficiency, four key ingredients guiding you toward a more satisfying life and lifestyle. 1. Create a menu Much like reading a restaurant menu, creating a “to do” menu for all your tasks, activities, chores, etc., is mandatory for better time management. Too many people don’t plan their time, so they waste it or get caught off guard by unexpected deadlines. Doing so causes stress, cortisol and adrenaline rushes, panic, and poor productivity, even if you claim to do good work under pressure. Completing tasks at the last minute reinforces procrastination, as the task feels gruelling. This cycle reinforces the avoidance of such activities in the future, perpetuating maladaptive behaviours. Define your list of “things to do” Make a list of everything you want or need to do in the coming weeks. There is no need to put the items in any order. Simply write them down. Do a mind dump so that you don’t forget what these items and tasks are. If you enjoy order, you can list the items in categories later, such as work related tasks, personal chores, and miscellaneous. You can add one off items that need attention, much like a menu that is organized into categories such as appetizers, entrees, desserts, and time limited specials. Listing and identifying things that need completion, or personal items you want to tackle, calms your mind and saves brainpower from having to keep the running list in your head. If you don’t write the items down, you will surely forget something, causing unnecessary stress. Set realistic goals When setting goals, make sure you can achieve them in the most productive way possible to avoid overwhelm and analysis paralysis. Too often, people jump into a project or activity with no direction or clue about what it will require in terms of time and resources. Then they get caught off guard and are unpleasantly surprised by the rude awakening that they may not have enough time to complete their task. Clearly define what you want to achieve with your goal. The more precise and detailed your objective, the easier it will be to develop actionable steps to reach it. Measurable: Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward your goal. Achievable: Set goals that are realistic and attainable within your resources and constraints. While it's essential to aim high, setting unrealistic goals can lead to frustration and demotivation. Relevant: Ensure your goals are aligned with your academic, professional or personal objectives and contribute to your overall vision and mission. Focus on pursuing goals that will meaningfully impact your success. Time bound: Set a specific timeframe for achieving your goal to create a sense of urgency and accountability. Deadlines help you stay focused and motivated, allowing you to prioritize tasks and allocate resources efficiently. 2. Establish time estimates Knowing how much time you will need to start and complete a task before the deadline is very important. Not doing so is where many people get lost and panic when they encounter an upcoming deadline without a clear plan to execute their project. In minutes, you can create a time management and time estimate map that will guide you to achieve your success calmly, in control, and with confidence. Planning this map is a very good investment of your time, and it will support you on your journey. Take a piece of paper or create a spreadsheet with the following titles across the top of the page. This approach is effective for students, professionals, or your own personal projects: Subject / Projects Assignment Time estimates Real time Due dates History Paint a room Write an article Make a list of subjects or projects you want or need to accomplish, then break each topic into its components. Beside each section, estimate the length of time required to achieve each step, and then multiply it by two in case you underestimated the time needed. Once you have completed each phase, record the actual time under the Real Time column to verify how close you were to your estimated time. Note the due date for each assignment. Subject/Project Assignment Time estimate Real time Due date History project Select topic 30 min 1 hour May 15th Do research 3 hours 6 hours Take notes 3 hours 6 hours Write intro 1 hour 2 hours Main body 3 hours 6 hours Conclusion 1 hour 2 hours Edit 2 hours 4 hours Print 30 min 1 hour Assemble into a folder 30 min 1 hour Total 29 hours Paint a room Select a colour 1 hour 2 hours June 2nd Select the finish 30 min 1 hour Identify supplies needed 30 min 1 hour Purchase paint and supplies 1 hour 2 hours Prepare the room, move furniture, etc. 1 hour 2 hours Wash the walls 1.5 hours 3 hours Repair holes, etc. 1 hour 2 hours Tape the room 1.5 hours 3 hours Primer 1.5 hours 3 hours First coat 1 hour 2 hours Second coat 1 hour 2 hours Clean up 1 hour 2 hours Arrange furniture and decor 1.5 hours 3 hours Total 28 hours Please do this for everything with a deadline. You may not need the extra allotted time, but you will be glad you accounted for it in case you do. You can see that if someone does not create a time estimate map, this person will be caught off guard and become more stressed and exasperated if, for example, they begin their project the day before it’s due. Doing so would require doing nothing else for a complete day, including no sleep. This approach will also result in a lower mark for the project, as there was little time to focus on quality, reflect on ideas, and prepare the most professional presentation possible due to insufficient time and rest. As the experience will be gruelling, one will not want to think about the next project, leading to procrastination, and the cycle will continue. A sense of success and satisfaction will eventually elude a person who either quits or fails to meet their potential, all due to a lack of a plan or inadequate time management. Conduct time estimate research Investing time in assessing what needs to get done and when will change your life when you add the time estimate map to your “to do” menu. You can quickly see how fast time can pass by and elude us if we are not investing in where our time goes and how much time we will need to be successful. Twenty nine hours over two days will feel like torture, whereas if you give yourself 28 days to complete a project, you can decide when you will spend this time, allowing yourself to breathe, think, rest, enjoy life, sleep, and get a multitude of other tasks and projects done. Whether you decide to invest an hour a day over 28 days or commit to doing chunks of time, such as 3 to 4 hour blocks over a period of four weeks, you get the idea. Just reading this should give you a sense of relief. 3. Energy is currency No one teaches us that energy is currency. Rather, we treat energy as a never ending supply, ready to be abused and misspent, much as we treat time. Everything we have, time, energy, and money, has limits in how it can serve us. Yet we put ourselves into financial and energetic debt, leading to stress and a slippery slope toward poor recovery, costing us our physical and mental health and further taxing our nervous systems and bank accounts. We borrow perceived energy from the adrenaline that courses through our veins to get us through a day, always at the expense of our health. Adrenaline and cortisol are the price of getting energy on credit. We can’t afford things, yet we spend regardless and often borrow from banks, paying interest that keeps us stuck in debt. We need to respect ourselves, our energy, and our money so that we can best invest in and support ourselves in a hopefully long and fulfilling life. Sometimes we may need to borrow energy or money in the short term to invest in ourselves and our lives, as long as it is for investment purposes, such as building a business or reaching a substantial goal that will pay dividends in our lives. Otherwise, it’s spending and wasting precious resources. When we rip through our energy by rushing, doing things at the last minute, running marathon sessions of work or school projects, trying to get a million things done in a compressed time frame, and not enjoying any of the process, we are overspending our energy. Once the adrenaline calms down, this will leave us feeling exhausted and in need of recuperation, slowing us down and creating stress as time runs away from us while our energy is trying to catch up. Eventually, the gap becomes too large, and we fall into the abyss of exhaustion, stress, and burnout. 4. Visualize your way to satisfaction To benefit from the menu and time management mapping, you will need to integrate visualization to make the most of your time and energy. We need to remember that life is a marathon and not a sprint. Those who insist on sprinting through life will pay the consequences through illness, injury, dissatisfaction, stress, and/or burnout, not to mention an untimely death. Rushing raises cortisol and pumps adrenaline through your system, giving you a false sense of energy. Like money, if you spend more energy than you have available, you will go into deficit, where, like financial debt, it makes it harder to climb out of negative energy and climb back into the positive energy account. If you gain traction and then overspend your energy, you will quickly fall into a deficit position again, where every round of overspending energy will leave you exhausted and frustrated. One way to help make the most of your energy, like stretching a dollar, is to use visualization and check in with your feelings. The early signs of entering an energy deficit are when tasks and activities feel harder, even the ones that used to bring you joy and satisfaction begin to feel draining. You need to look at a spectrum of activities, etc., from work related to pleasure, and where your energy feels taxed. It’s understandable if your energy becomes impacted when doing heavy or difficult tasks or activities. One would hope that, along the continuum, energy feels less drained during mid range tasks and even restored after engaging in enjoyable activities, such as spending time with friends and family. You know that you're in trouble when the entire spectrum feels heavy and draining. This signal is one of the most telling signs that you are burning out. Visualizing how and when you will attack and accomplish any task will help you manage your time, efficiency, and energy best, preventing or reversing the energy drain on the spectrum of things to do on your menu. You may begin to enjoy what you used to love doing and even enjoy most of your tasks and activities, raising your overall sense of satisfaction and quality of life. Visualization Rather than jumping unquestioningly into your day and tasks, take the time to peruse your menu of things to do. Ask yourself and your energy which item(s) you are up for, and consider whether any of these items have an urgent deadline. Hopefully, none do, as you have mapped out your projects and activities in advance of due dates, which gives you the luxury of choosing what you do on any day and how long you wish to engage in that activity. That is the entire objective of creating a menu and a time management schedule, complete with task breakdowns, time estimates, and due dates. You will have a sense of which tasks you feel like doing by taking a few long, deep breaths and exhaling slowly while tuning in to your energy. Are you tired, restless, anxious, or loaded with energy? Etc. Which task or activity do you “feel” like doing, and for how long? Just because it might take 6 hours to start and complete, if you have ample time before it’s due, you can choose how much time you wish to spend on it. Ask your body how it feels about any given task. Imagine doing the activity and see if your body feels heavy and stressed, which is often an indication that you will spend more energy than needed to start this task. Rather, if your body responds with a sense of lightheartedness or even excitement, you will not have to tackle any barriers or resistance during this activity. Instead, the perceived energy available when you think about engaging in this activity will feel like wind at your back, helping you move forward with ease. Doing so means using less energy to complete the task, which will also feel more pleasurable, giving you more energy and positive feelings as you do it. This energetic state will make the task feel easier, and this is an essential ingredient in preventing procrastination. Once you have chosen the activities and tasks, visualize doing them and the order in which they are to be executed. Consider how much time you wish to devote to each, based on your time estimates and due dates. The vision in your mind should feel light, and the tasks should flow from one activity to the next, picturing where you will need to take a break so that you don’t overextend yourself and run out of steam. If your schedule feels too hectic or long, what can you remove from the list and do another day? Where will your breaks serve you, and what feels right in your energetic system? Once you start an activity and have decoded the order of events, make sure to check your energy periodically so you don’t overdo your workload. For example, you may start cleaning your closets, which you estimated would take two hours. However, if you are 90 minutes in, with 15 minutes left to complete the task, and you are getting tired, stop what you are doing and leave those items for another day. Why, you ask, when there are just 15 minutes left? Because you may have soared through the first 90 minutes with relative ease, yet pushing through the remaining 15 will take up too much energy for what the task would require on another day. Pushing through uses more energy than it should, exhausting you and sapping energy that could better serve you for the next task that feels lighter. Also, pushing through will leave you more tired and feeling negative about the activity by ending on a heavier note. You will have less energy for other tasks, and more often than not, you will pay for the overextension by being extra tired the following day, when you could have stopped sooner, rested, and had enough energy to complete more tasks. If you overdo it, you will pay for it, and it will set you back in the long run. Invest your time and energy well Time and energy are limited resources. We cannot create more time or more energy. Rather, we need to optimize our use of both entities to make the most of these commodities and achieve our objectives with good health, optimism, and satisfaction. When we listen to our bodies and take the time to identify what we need and want to accomplish, we can lay out our objectives in advance and do them in the best ways possible to avoid burnout and increase efficiency and success. If you would like to learn more about time and energy management, please reach out to me via my website here. Take care of your time, energy, and your health. You can’t buy more. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Marianne Van Oyen Marianne Van Oyen, Psychologist | Author Marianne Van Oyen answered her call to serve others at the age of 21 and to help make the world a better place, one person at a time. She works primarily with adolescents, adults, and couples in person and virtually. Marianne has spent money, time, and energy in many professional development programs, learning many modalities of therapy to offer her clients the best service and results possible. She has also taken the same path to develop her skills as a writer, author, and publisher so that she can expand her reach.

Written by Elle Kersey, Founder of Luxe Maverick Elle Kersey is the founder of Luxe Maverick, specializing in sports portfolio asset protection. Her work centers on auditing and managing the Capacity Field to ensure alignment with contracted capacity and financial outcomes. The performance economy has changed. The way we define readiness has to change with it. In modern sport, the word “cleared” carries enormous weight. Once an athlete is medically cleared, a quiet assumption enters the room: that the athlete is available, ready, and capable of returning to the expected level of output. But availability is not the same as capacity. An athlete can be cleared and still not be operating at full performance capacity. They can be active, visible, and participating while still carrying post-injury limitations that affect explosiveness, confidence, reaction time, load tolerance, durability, range of motion, and consistency. That distinction matters because sport is no longer just a game-day performance environment. It is an investment environment. Contracts, scholarships, NIL deals, sponsorships, roster decisions, transfer opportunities, draft projections, media value, and long-term career outcomes are all influenced by performance capacity. When capacity is assumed instead of verified, every stakeholder carries risk. The post-clearance field is where value begins to leak Traditional recovery systems are built around injury status, medical progression, rehabilitation timelines, and return-to-play clearance. Those checkpoints matter. They are essential. But they do not always answer the bigger performance question, "Is the athlete actually back to the level of output their opportunity, contract, role, or valuation depends on?" This is where the post-clearance field appears. At Luxe Maverick, we define the post-clearance field as the active space between medical clearance and true performance capacity. It is where residual trauma, compensation patterns, scar tissue interference, mobility restrictions, reduced circulation, reduced range of motion, and protective movement habits can remain active beneath the surface. The athlete may no longer be injured in the traditional sense, but they may not be fully restored either. That difference can affect every layer of the sports economy. This is also where capacity leakage begins. Capacity leakage occurs when an athlete is present, available, and participating, but unable to consistently access the level of output their role, contract, scholarship, brand deal, or valuation assumes. That is not just a performance issue, it is a governance issue. For athletes, this field can become overtraining disguised as discipline Athletes are often praised for pushing through. They train harder, add more sessions, and chase the feeling of getting back to themselves. But when the body is still managing unresolved post-traumatic factors, more work does not always create better results. Sometimes it creates an overload. An athlete who is cleared but not restored may compensate through other muscles, joints, or movement patterns. Their output may fluctuate. Their recovery window may lengthen. Their confidence may feel inconsistent because the body is not giving them the same feedback it is used to. From the outside, this can look like underperformance, hesitation, poor conditioning, or lack of discipline. In reality, the athlete may be operating inside an unresolved capacity field. When that field is not identified, the athlete may train harder against a limitation that needs correction rather than motivation. For agents, the field can suppress valuation Agents are not just managing contracts; they are managing timing, leverage, perception, opportunity, and long-term earning power. A player who is technically available but not performing at full capacity may lose leverage without anyone clearly identifying why. The film may look inconsistent. Testing may not reflect the athlete’s true ceiling. A small performance decline may affect draft projection, roster position, contract negotiations, transfer desirability, or confidence in renewal. This is especially important because value loss does not always announce itself as a major injury. Sometimes it shows up as a half-step slower, reduced explosiveness, missed reps, lower confidence from decision-makers, or a quiet shift in how the athlete is discussed. For agents, understanding the post-clearance field creates a new layer of protection. It gives them a way to ask a sharper question before their valuation drops, "Is this athlete truly underperforming, or are they operating below restored capacity?" That question changes the conversation. Because if the athlete is still carrying unresolved capacity limitations, the issue is not simply performance decline, it may be capacity leakage. For trainers and performance teams, the field affects programming accuracy Trainers are often asked to build performance on top of incomplete restoration. That creates a problem. If the athlete has hidden restrictions, compensation patterns, or unresolved tissue interference, the performance program may be technically sound but applied to a body that is not fully ready to absorb it. This can cause frustration for both the athlete and the trainer. The athlete works hard but does not progress as expected. The trainer adjusts load, intensity, volume, or mechanics, but the same limitations keep returning. Understanding the post-clearance field allows trainers to separate three different issues, "Is this a programming issue? Is this a conditioning issue? Or is this a capacity integrity issue?" That distinction matters. If the limitation is structural, compensatory, or post-traumatic, better programming alone may not solve it. The athlete may need capacity correction before performance acceleration can fully take hold. For teams and front offices, the field becomes financial exposure At the organizational level, the problem becomes even larger. Teams often measure availability, injury status, participation, and performance output. But many do not have a clear mechanism for identifying whether a cleared athlete is performing at the level the organization is financially committed to. A player can be active and still be under-realizing contracted performance capacity. This creates performance volatility, roster uncertainty, and financial leakage. The issue is not simply whether the athlete is playing; it is whether the organization is receiving the performance value it has already committed to. This is why post-clearance readiness should not only be viewed as a medical or performance issue, it is also a capacity governance issue. Organizations need better visibility into the difference between assumed availability and actual capacity. Because once an athlete is cleared and active yet still operating below expected output, the loss becomes harder to name. WWhat cannot be named is rarely governed. For NIL collectives and sponsors, the field affects brand reliability NIL and sponsorship deals depend on visibility, momentum, consistency, and public confidence. When an athlete experiences post-clearance performance inconsistency, their brand value can be affected even while they are still active. Reduced performance can change media attention. Missed moments can reduce exposure. Inconsistent plays can affect fan confidence. A diminished role can lower activation value. For sponsors and NIL collectives, capacity is not just a physical concept, it is tied to brand performance. If a deal is built around the athlete’s visibility and competitive presence, then capacity leakage can affect the reliability of that investment. This does not mean sponsors need to interfere with medical decisions. It means the sports business ecosystem needs a more complete understanding of performance readiness and the hidden factors that can affect it. In that context, the post-clearance field is not only a physical field, it is a commercial field. The future belongs to stakeholders who can interpret the field The next evolution in sport will not come from simply asking whether an athlete is injured or cleared. It will come from asking better questions: Is the athlete restored? Are they operating at full capacity? Are they performing at the level their role, contract, scholarship, brand deal, or valuation assumes? Is the system measuring the field between availability and actual output? Most importantly, is there a way to identify and correct what remains after clearance? This is the shift. The sports industry has spent decades building systems around injury recovery. Now it must expand into capacity governance. In today’s performance economy, the costliest losses are not always the ones that occur when an athlete is unavailable. Sometimes the greater loss occurs when the athlete is present and active yet still not operating at full capacity. If you are responsible for athlete performance, valuation, or investment protection, the question is no longer only whether an athlete has been cleared. The sharper question is, "Is the athlete cleared, or are they truly at capacity?" That is where the next layer of performance protection begins. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Elle Kersey Elle Kersey, Founder of Luxe Maverick Elle Kersey is the founder of Luxe Maverick, a sports portfolio asset protection firm. She specializes in auditing and managing the Capacity Field to align performance with contracted capacity and financial outcomes. Her work provides organizations with visibility into capacity-related risks that are often unseen until they impact valuation. She operates within high-performance environments where decisions carry immediate financial implications. Her focus is on ensuring performance and value remain aligned under demand.

Written by Jazmina Mba Gonzalez, MD, MIP, Jungian Coach Jazmina Mba Gonzalez is a former aspiring surgeon turned medical intuitive specializing in chronic pain unresolved by conventional medicine. She bridges science and soul through her Shadow Alchemy Method, helping clients release pain and awaken their body’s innate ability to heal. Your body is always speaking to you, but most of us were never taught how to listen. When symptoms appear without a clear medical cause, it can feel frustrating and isolating. In this article, you will learn what those symptoms may actually be communicating and discover practical tools to begin a conversation with your own body that can open the door to deeper healing. When medicine doesn’t have the answers The mysteries of the human body have gradually, over time, been solved thanks to the miracles of modern medicine and science. However, there remains an elusive area that often baffles medical experts, the moments when a patient comes in with symptoms, and all the tests, the scans, and the physical drivers that might reveal the origin of that symptom come back normal. The patient insists that something is wrong. They feel it. But the physical mirror says otherwise. There is no “real” reason why the symptom exists, but it is there nonetheless. Research confirms just how common this experience is. According to a 2024 article in Psychology Today, medically unexplained symptoms account for 40% of primary care visits in the United States, yet a biological cause is identified only 25% of the time. This is not a new phenomenon. Research published over two decades ago showed that among the most common reasons people visit their primary care doctor, only 10 to 15% of those symptoms are ever traced back to an underlying organic cause within a year. Various factors can contribute to these numbers, everything from the experience of the clinician to the rarity of a disorder that requires an array of additional tests to find a physical cause. But regardless of the physical root, every symptom carries a message. A message that comes from a language the body speaks, which most of us are never taught to learn. That language comes from a space that speaks about our inner world, our mental, emotional, and spiritual state, regardless of our spiritual beliefs. The parts of ourselves that we may subconsciously push away because it is not the right time to deal with them, because we fear the changes we must make, because it is too traumatic to remember, or because the thing we most desire feels too intangible to hold onto. Even when we believe we are doing all the “right things” and still experience illness, the body remembers these truths about the parts of the world that cannot be seen physically. Since the body has no other way of communicating, it presents us with symptoms that have an uncanny similarity and representation to what is going on in our inner lives. As a physician and medical intuitive, I walk both worlds simultaneously, seeing how the physical responds to the energetics behind it all, to the stories and experiences that my clients have lived and are living. A beautiful dance is constantly happening in their lives, often unbeknownst to them. My clients ask, "What does this all mean? Why aren’t my symptoms going away? What is my body trying to tell me?" In this article, we are going to explore some of the answers to those questions so that the body feels heard and healing is on the horizon. How your body speaks to you In the world of medical intuition, every single symptom has an origin, not just a physical one, but an energetic source of information. That source tells us about a person’s journey and how it has caused the body to manifest illness in a specific way, at a specific time, and why it may not have responded to treatment, or why everything continues to come back as normal when the person clearly does not feel that way. When you begin to learn the language of your body, the number one thing to understand is that nothing is separate. The mental, physical, and emotional parts of your life are all one, communicating consistently at all times, providing feedback to each other and responding in turn. An impactful event in childhood can affect the mental and emotional state, which then causes a physical response to similar situations later in life, which further affects the mental and emotional state, and the cycle continues. With this in mind, when we are dealing with symptoms that are unresolved or mysterious in nature, we must always ask, "What else is going on underneath it all?" It is no coincidence that those hives appear every time you go to work, or that you experience severe gastric distress before or after a family reunion. The symptoms are not random. They are a message sent by the body to look at a deeper layer that feels unheard and unseen. Ways to speak with your body There are a multitude of ways that your body can communicate beyond physical symptoms. The key is to understand the message behind the symptom by understanding that you are having a dialogue with the body instead of demanding answers. See this as a dialogue between two friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time. These practices are perfect initiations that anyone can use in order to start hearing the whispers underneath it all. The mirror practice This practice is great for seeing what life events, relationships, or environments are related to the symptom. Writing everything down as you go is highly recommended, as reading your responses back to yourself deepens the practice. First, we locate the symptom in the body, and if it is in a generalised area, we simply expand our awareness around it. We then notice how we feel when we first notice that symptom in our lives. Is it anger, frustration, hopelessness? What thoughts arise whenever you think about this symptom? For some, it may be that no one understands what they’re going through. Others may feel that they aren’t being heard when they tell others about how this symptom makes them feel. Or maybe they wish that they could have some time alone to themselves to process it all. Be very attentive to what comes to mind. Ask yourself how this symptom has affected your life. Does it make you feel like you’re limited in your choices? As if you are feeling stuck? Go really deep here. After writing everything you can, we hold up the mirror to our responses and point it across various areas of our lives, relationships, childhood experiences, career, and physical environments. We start to ask ourselves where in our lives we feel, or have felt, in a similar way. Where do we feel angry, unseen, limited, like our life isn’t or wasn’t our own? With whom do we feel that the interaction has always given us a feeling of being stuck or unheard? What part of our passions or career choices holds patterns of being pushed away? The goal of this practice is to see ties between the emotional, mental, and environmental parts of our lives and how our body is actively responding to those areas. We see that the body isn’t responding just to some unknown force, but to a pattern that keeps showing up in our lives that we may not have been aware of before. We may even begin to notice people or environments that show up before or after our symptoms flare up. This practice provides a beautiful breadcrumb into the realm of where we need to start the next step of our healing journey. Your friend, the symptom practice This practice is ideal for those who are more into the visual aspect of their intuitive talents or are visual learners. For this one, it may also help to write down the responses so that you can have notes to revisit on ways to work with the internal world as the body begins to process the work that you’re doing. Begin by sitting or lying comfortably. I recommend sitting so that you don’t risk falling asleep. Close your eyes. Locate the symptom in the body and sit with it. Notice the feelings, sensations, and thoughts that arise when you focus on it. Then, begin to form an image in your head. This image represents the symptom as a person in front of you. Imagine them sitting in front of you, ready to have a conversation. What do they look like? What are they wearing? How does this personified version appear to you as they sit before you now? How do you feel with them in the room with you? From there, you ask them questions, and you await their response, as if you’re having a conversation with them. I like to start by asking them about their origin, where they are from, or when they decided to appear in your life. Asking them why they chose that exact moment and what was going on in your life is an incredibly powerful question, as often it will reveal the pattern hiding behind the physical. Remember to treat this as a conversation between two people, staying open to what they have to say. Don’t be afraid to ask about what they’ve been wanting to say for the longest time, what they are here to do for you, and so on. Get as creative as you feel in the moment. Treat this practice with curiosity and notice if their appearance changes as you continue the conversation and they answer. See if you notice any shifts that happen in your own body as they speak to you. Whenever you are complete, thank them for showing up today, slowly come back to your body, and write everything you recall from the conversation, the insights, and how your body feels. The language of the body Everyone’s personal body language is different. However, there are some overarching themes I’ve seen consistently across my clients that can help point you in the right direction if you’re feeling stuck on what yours is trying to say. Each body part, down to the cells, carries an energetic significance, so this list isn’t an exhaustive one, but it aims to point you in a direction that makes sense to you. And, as always, please seek appropriate medical advice first, and then look into the meanings behind these areas alongside that care. Head and neck This is the space of conscious connection to the mind. The eyes carry the inner sight you have with the world, in addition to physical sight. The ears carry what you hear or what you refuse to hear, while the mouth, in conjunction with the ears, speaks to communication, both how it’s received by others and how we reject the information that we may intuitively know is true for us. Similarly, our voice is where we hold our intuitive centre and how we communicate that to those around us. Do we feel safe in our sense of expression, or do we mute ourselves for the comfort of others? Heart and lungs These areas contain the vitality of our essence. When we talk about a breath of fresh air, it goes beyond the physical sense of breathing. We look to the areas in our lives where we feel suffocated or stifled. Where have we felt drained of our sense of vitality or our internal battery? This is also an incredibly powerful centre for how we process grief and how we’ve allowed grief to show up in our lives. The gut and digestive system This is a huge area where many clients experience symptoms related to their sense of self, how they feel in terms of acceptance, especially from close friends and family, and how they allow themselves to process strong emotions, such as anger, in their lives. Often, when we feel that certain boundaries are crossed, especially when we feel that we cannot express who we are as individuals, it will show up in the gut. Sometimes, if we are holding on to emotions that we feel are unsafe to process, our body will mirror this mechanism, creating an environment that is sluggish or slow to move. Anger is an incredibly intense emotion that is closely held in the liver and gallbladder, with resentment being a close second that lives in this space. The womb space This powerful and intricate place contains some of the strongest processing powers when it comes to what we desire, feel, create, hold, and release. Oftentimes, there is more than one story held in this area, with themes often overlapping and affecting each other. Sometimes, we may stifle our desires because we feel we aren’t being realistic. Therefore, we don’t create for fear of judgement, and we hold on to the dreams that could never come to fruition. This space can sometimes be complex. However, under the right guidance, it can be a powerhouse of information for life changing transformation. The hips and legs The hips are often the seat of emotional retention, especially when we notice that we are holding an unusual amount of tightness. We ask ourselves where we feel we are holding back when it comes to emotional expression and what we think would happen if that emotion were to be expressed. Where are we feeling rigid and trying to control the direction in which we are being intuitively led? Our knees are where we honour ourselves and our boundaries. Do we kneel before others, or do we give ourselves the kindness of listening to what we truly need before making ourselves available to others? The feet speak to the path that we are walking on and how sure we are of the steps that we are taking towards the goal or life we know we are going towards. The immune system The protectors of our bodies, and also of our lives energetically. A significant amount of our trauma is carried in the immune system, and the field of psychoneuroimmunology is increasingly finding the science to back this up. When we experience trauma, the body’s instinct is to protect us from reliving it. When we are taught that certain emotions are unsafe to experience, the body remembers that in this space too. This is a place where we intimately look at our childhood experiences and how they shape the way that we protect ourselves, how we feel our emotions, how we express them, and so much more. A word of guidance, when we are exploring the deeper layers of these questions, we may want to seek the help of a mentor or a mental health specialist to safely find ways to shift these areas of our lives. Combining the physical with the energetic Although there are energetic origins to the physical manifestation of our symptoms, this doesn’t mean that we neglect the wonders of modern medicine and the treatments it has to offer. Diagnostic exams help point clinicians in the right direction in the body. A diagnosis helps to give a name to what is happening in the physical body so that proper treatment can be given. You can have a diagnosis and still do this work. They do not have to be exclusive from one another. In fact, healing can become incredibly powerful when they both work together. When I had my chronic pain, I did everything on the medical side. I had the X rays, the physical therapy, the pain medication, the exercises, all of it. However, with the ongoing pain, it was time to go deeper. So, I looked at the meaning behind the pain, where the pain was located, and worked on that simultaneously after the peak of the pain helped me concentrate enough to go deeper. We don’t push aside the aid of modern medicine or a chance at a diagnosis just because a symptom has a deeper origin. If anything, we use what medicine has to offer so that we can explore those deeper layers in peace, create resolution from within, and, as a result, don’t need to revisit the doctors multiple times in the future. By understanding the message, the language, that the body is speaking, we create an avenue to decrease doctor visits, find ways to become self sufficient in the ways that we care for ourselves, and shift our lives in a way that tells the body, I hear you, I see what you’re trying to say, and I will take action on this part of myself so that the message no longer has a place in my life. Continuing the conversation Once we start to understand and unravel the language of the body, the work doesn’t stop there. We begin to take steps after we understand what our body is trying to tell us that we need to shift or process in our lives. Maybe we begin to express how we feel a little more. Maybe we start to have those tough conversations with a loved one. Transformation can even begin by looking into that art class that has piqued your interest on the way home after work. Everyone’s journey is completely different. The one thing to remember is that we are so incredibly powerful and resilient, as is our physical body. With the right amount of patience and questions, we can decipher the secret language of the body and begin a path of healing. If you are ready to start on that journey yourself, I invite you to work with me to uncover the mystery behind the symptom and to learn how your body is communicating with you. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok for more info! Read more from Jazmina Mba Gonzalez Jazmina Mba Gonzalez, MD, MIP, Jungian Coach Jazmina Mba Gonzalez is a former aspiring surgeon turned medical intuitive and creator of the Shadow Alchemy Method. After experiencing chronic pain that conventional medicine couldn’t fully heal, she began exploring the deeper connection between the body, mind, and spirit. Through medical astrointuition and Jungian depth psychology, she discovered that every symptom holds a message waiting to be decoded. Today, she helps others uncover the emotional and energetic roots of chronic pain, guiding them back to their body’s natural wisdom and capacity to heal. Her mission is to bring hope to those who feel their condition is forever, because healing is always possible when we learn to listen within.

Written by Linda Lee Smith, Transformational Wellness Services LLC Linda Lee Smith and Richard Schmelke are authors and transformational coaches who believe the most meaningful chapter of life can begin at any age. Through their writing and teaching, they empower others to reconnect with themselves, embrace new possibilities, and live with greater purpose and vitality. Aromatherapy is more than a wellness trend, it’s a subtle yet powerful tool to improve workplace productivity and well-being. This article explores how essential oils can reduce stress, enhance focus, and support emotional balance, helping create a calm, centered, and connected work environment for employees and teams The invisible atmosphere we work in Walk into any workplace, and you can feel it immediately. Some environments feel heavy, rushed, and tense, while others feel open, calm, and quietly productive. Long before a word is spoken, the body senses a space's energy. What many people do not realize is that scent plays a powerful role in shaping this invisible atmosphere. Research in this area has been available for decades. Aromatherapy, the intentional use of essential oils to support physical, emotional, and mental well-being, offers a simple yet profound way to shape how a workplace feels, and how people function within it. While often associated with spas or personal self-care routines, aromatherapy is increasingly used in offices, clinics, and collaborative environments where clarity, creativity, and calm are essential. In a world where workplace stress, burnout, and distraction are at an all-time high, integrating aromatherapy is not about adding another task to the day. It is about shifting the environment so that well-being becomes the foundation from which productivity naturally arises. The science behind scent and productivity Our sense of smell is directly linked to the limbic system, the part of the brain responsible for emotions, memory, and behavior. Unlike other senses, scent bypasses the rational mind and triggers almost immediate emotional and physiological responses. This is why a single aroma can evoke a memory, shift a mood, or even alter alertness within seconds. In the workplace, this connection is incredibly valuable. Essential oils can gently support focus, reduce stress responses, and create a sense of ease that helps individuals think more clearly and engage more fully. For example, certain oils have been shown to support mental clarity and sustained attention, while others help regulate the nervous system, reducing subtle but chronic stress that often undermines productivity. When thoughtfully introduced, scent becomes an ally rather than a distraction. Creating a calm and centered work environment One of the most immediate benefits of aromatherapy in the workplace is its ability to ease tension. Many work environments operate under a constant hum of low-grade stress. Deadlines, digital overload, and interpersonal dynamics can all leave the nervous system rarely at ease. Essential oils such as lavender, bergamot, and frankincense are well known for their calming and grounding properties. When diffused into the air, they can subtly signal safety to the body, encouraging deeper breathing, reduced muscle tension, and a more relaxed mental state. This does not mean the workplace becomes sleepy or passive. Rather, it becomes centered. From that place of calm, individuals are better able to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Conversations become more constructive, and challenges are approached with greater clarity. Enhancing focus and mental clarity Beyond relaxation, aromatherapy can actively support concentration and cognitive performance. In environments where sustained attention is required, whether in writing, analysis, design, or problem-solving, the right scent can make a noticeable difference. Oils such as peppermint and rosemary are often used to promote alertness and mental clarity. These oils have a fresh, invigorating quality that can help counteract fatigue and mental fog, especially during mid-afternoon slumps. Incorporating these scents during key work periods can create a natural rhythm to the day. For example, energizing oils might be used in the morning or during focused work sessions, while more calming oils are introduced later in the day to support a gentle transition out of high-intensity tasks. Over time, the brain begins to associate certain scents with specific states of being, reinforcing focus and productivity through sensory conditioning. Supporting emotional well-being and team dynamics Workplaces are not just task systems; they are communities of people. Emotions, whether acknowledged or not, shape communication, collaboration, and overall morale. Aromatherapy offers a subtle way to support emotional balance without requiring individuals to openly discuss their internal state. Oils such as sweet orange and ylang-ylang are known for uplifting, heart-opening qualities. These scents can help create a more welcoming, positive, and connected atmosphere. In shared spaces such as meeting rooms, diffusing gentle, uplifting aromas can ease interpersonal tension and encourage more open communication. While aromatherapy is not a substitute for a healthy workplace culture, it can support the emotional tone of that culture in meaningful ways. Reducing stress and preventing burnout Chronic stress is one of the most significant challenges in modern workplaces. Over time, it affects not only productivity but also physical health, emotional resilience, and overall job satisfaction. Aromatherapy can support stress reduction by helping regulate the nervous system. Oils such as chamomile and sandalwood are particularly effective at promoting relaxation and emotional grounding. Even brief exposure to these scents, during a short break, a mindful pause, or a quiet moment at a desk, can help interrupt the stress cycle. Over time, these small resets accumulate, creating a more sustainable and balanced work experience. For organizations concerned about burnout, this is a simple, cost-effective tool that supports employee well-being in a gentle, ongoing way. Practical ways to introduce aromatherapy at work Integrating aromatherapy into the workplace does not require a complete overhaul. Simplicity is often the most effective approach. Diffusers can be used in common areas to create a shared sensory environment, while personal inhalers or roll-ons let individuals choose scents that resonate with them. Establishing guidelines, such as using subtle concentrations and being mindful of sensitivities, ensures aromatherapy remains supportive rather than overwhelming. It is also helpful to introduce aromatherapy intentionally. Rather than randomly selecting scents, workplaces can align specific aromas with desired outcomes, such as focus, relaxation, or creativity. Over time, this creates a cohesive sensory experience that reinforces the organization’s values and goals. A holistic approach to workplace wellness Aromatherapy is most effective when integrated into a broader approach to well-being. It complements other practices, including mindful breaks, supportive leadership, and environments that honor both productivity and humanity. What makes aromatherapy unique is its ability to work quietly in the background. It does not demand attention, yet it continually shapes how people feel, think, and interact. It is both subtle and powerful, offering a way to care for the whole person within the structure of the workday. A word of caution While aromatherapy offers many benefits, it is important to use essential oils with care and discernment. Not all products labeled “essential oils” are pure or naturally derived. Many commercially available oils are diluted, adulterated, or synthetically produced, which can diminish their therapeutic value and, in some cases, cause unwanted reactions such as headaches, skin irritation, or respiratory discomfort. For this reason, it is important to choose high-quality essential oils that have been tested for purity and sourced from reputable suppliers. Pure, plant-derived oils contain the complex chemistry, and energetic qualities, that make aromatherapy effective. In the workplace, it is also essential to be mindful of others. Some individuals may be sensitive to scents or have allergies, so oils should be used at low concentrations, in well-ventilated areas, and with consideration for shared spaces. Offering scent-free zones or using personal inhalers can be a respectful alternative. When used thoughtfully and responsibly, essential oils can enhance the workplace experience. Choosing quality and practicing moderation ensure that aromatherapy remains a safe and supportive addition for everyone. Conclusion: Transforming the workplace from the inside out The modern workplace is evolving. There is growing recognition that true productivity does not come from pressure alone but from environments that support clarity, creativity, and well-being. Aromatherapy offers a bridge between these worlds. Engaging the senses helps shift the internal experience of work, creating spaces where individuals feel both grounded and inspired. In the end, enhancing the workplace is not just about what we do, but how we feel while we do it. Sometimes, the most profound changes begin with something as simple as the air we breathe. If aromatherapy resonates with you and you want more information, I invite you to begin with a complimentary strategy session, where we can take a closer look at your needs. This is an opportunity for you to receive free recommendations on introducing essential oils into your workplace. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info! Read more from Linda Lee Smith and Richard Schmelke Linda Lee Smith and Richard Schmelke, Transformational Wellness Services LLC Linda Lee Smith and Richard Schmelke are authors, coaches, and TEDx speakers dedicated to helping people rediscover purpose, vitality, and joy. Linda brings decades of experience in holistic healing and has trained thousands worldwide in integrative practices. Rich’s background in leadership and personal development inspires others to think bigger and live more intentionally. Together, they create transformational programs that blend inner healing with practical life guidance. Their work is grounded in both professional expertise and their own experience of creating a vibrant new chapter later in life.

Written by Dr. Alex Kokkonen, Peak Performance Mentor and Life & Leadership Coach Distinguished Technologist, model (100+ covers), athlete & fitness pro with a PhD, a DBA, three Master's & CIMA Fellow. 35 years of global leadership across over fifty countries. Passionate coach & mentor, inspiring others to achieve strength, resilience & their best self. Comfort zones often provide a sense of safety but can hinder growth and innovation. This article offers a roadmap to move beyond complacency with 12 actionable steps that encourage discomfort, challenge routines, and foster lifelong personal and professional development. Whether you're an individual or part of an organization, these steps can lead you to greater performance and fulfillment. Comfort is the new complacency Comfort zones are now a critical issue because modern life and organizations are increasingly engineered to minimize friction. Technology, process automation, risk aversion, and performative well-being have diminished healthy resistance, creating environments in which people feel busy but rarely stretched. This breeds apathy, entitlement, and quiet stagnation, mistaken for stability. At an individual level, comfort erodes self-motivation; at an organizational level, it suppresses innovation, accountability, and resilience. Growth, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual, has always required effort, discomfort, and the willingness to face uncertainty. When comfort becomes the goal, progress stops. In a volatile world, avoiding discomfort is no longer safe, it is the risk. The hidden architecture of comfort In practice, comfort zones are patterns of behavior, thinking, and systems that prioritize familiarity over growth. They manifest as avoiding challenge, resisting feedback, adhering to proven methods, and choosing short-term ease over long-term development. Individually, comfort zones look like routine without reflection, effort without stretch, and safety without purpose. Organizationally, they appear as risk aversion, consensus thinking, legacy processes, and a preference for harmony over truth. Comfort zones reduce friction but also diminish learning, resilience, and ambition. Over time, they quietly normalize stagnation, making underperformance feel acceptable and mediocrity feel safe rather than alarming.[1] How comfort becomes the default Comfort zones are created and driven by a mix of psychological safety, fear, and reinforcement. At an individual level, they form through habit, past success, identity attachment, and the brain’s preference for predictability and energy conservation. Fear of failure, judgment, or loss further entrenches them. Organizationally, comfort zones are driven by incentives that reward compliance over courage, leadership that avoids tension, and systems designed to reduce risk rather than enable learning. Over time, routines harden into norms, and norms become untouchable. What once protected performance quietly begins to protect ego, status, and convenience instead of growth.[2] The many faces of comfort Comfort zones manifest in predictable but often subtle ways, both individually and organizationally. First, avoidance of challenge becomes normalized. People choose familiar tasks, proven methods, and “safe” goals, steering clear of anything that might expose weakness or failure. Growth opportunities are postponed indefinitely. Second, resistance to feedback appears. Feedback is reframed as a threat rather than data, leading to defensiveness, justification, or polite dismissal instead of reflection and change. Third, routine replaces intention. Activity continues, but purpose fades. People stay busy without being stretched, mistaking motion for progress and consistency for excellence. Fourth, risk aversion dominates decision-making. Organizations default to incremental change, excessive governance, and consensus-driven choices that prioritize comfort over creating value. Finally, lowered standards quietly emerge. Mediocrity becomes acceptable as long as it is familiar. Performance is measured by effort or tenure rather than impact. Over time, ambition erodes, energy drops, and both individuals and organizations settle into managed decline while believing they are being responsible. The hidden signals of stagnation Comfort zones reveal themselves through subtle but consistent signs. For individuals, symptoms include low energy, declining curiosity, defensiveness to challenge, over-reliance on past success, and a preference for certainty over possibility. Effort remains, but ambition fades. For organizations, comfort zones show up as slow decision-making, excessive risk management, consensus over candor, and innovation theater without fundamental change. Meetings multiply while impact diminishes. Feedback loops weaken, standards quietly drop, and underperformance is rationalized as “stability.” Both people and organizations begin protecting what is known rather than pursuing what is needed. The most apparent symptom is stagnation disguised as safety, where comfort feels reassuring, but growth has already stopped. Breaking free: 12 steps beyond the comfort zone Comfort zones, while providing temporary security, subtly erode growth, innovation, and resilience. Breaking free requires intentional effort, self-awareness, and structured action. The following 12 steps provide a roadmap for individuals and organizations to move beyond stagnation and embrace growth. 1. Cultivate self-awareness The first step is recognizing the boundaries of your current comfort zone. Individuals must assess habits, routines, and decision-making patterns that limit growth. Organizations should conduct introspective audits to identify processes, cultures, or mindsets that resist change. Self-awareness allows us to distinguish between genuine stability and limiting comfort. 2. Set stretch goals Growth begins with clearly defined, challenging goals. Individuals can create targets that demand new skills or perspectives, while organizations can implement ambitious but achievable strategic objectives. Stretch goals create a sense of purpose and provide measurable benchmarks for progress. 3. Embrace discomfort Discomfort is an essential catalyst for growth. Whether it is learning a difficult skill, taking on a high-stakes project, or addressing internal conflicts, facing discomfort strengthens resilience and adaptability. Individuals and teams must normalize temporary discomfort as part of the growth process. 4. Break routine patterns Predictability reinforces comfort zones. Individuals should introduce variability into daily routines, experiment with new ways of working, or explore unfamiliar experiences. Organizations can rotate team roles, introduce new methodologies, or encourage cross-functional collaboration to disrupt habitual patterns. 5. Build a support system Supportive peers, mentors, or coaches provide guidance, feedback, and accountability. Individuals benefit from networks that challenge assumptions and celebrate progress. For organizations, cultivating a culture of constructive feedback, mentorship, and collaboration accelerates collective growth and mitigates fear of risk. 6. Reflect and learn continuously Growth is fueled by deliberate reflection. Individuals should journal or review experiences to extract lessons, while organizations can establish post-project reviews and knowledge-sharing mechanisms. Learning from both success and failure reinforces the value of stepping beyond comfort zones. 7. Take incremental risks Moving beyond comfort does not require reckless action. Start with manageable challenges that stretch skills or thinking. Individuals might volunteer for challenging tasks; organizations can pilot small innovations before scaling. Incremental risks build confidence and demonstrate tangible progress. 8. Foster a growth mindset Belief in the ability to grow is foundational. Individuals must shift from a fixed mindset, fear of failure and avoidance of challenge, to embracing learning opportunities. Organizations should cultivate cultures that reward experimentation, learning from mistakes, and continuous improvement. 9. Develop resilience Discomfort often triggers stress or resistance. Building mental, emotional, and physical resilience enables sustained effort despite setbacks. Individuals can practice mindfulness, stress management, and self-care, while organizations can provide wellness programs, flexible work arrangements, and supportive policies.[3] 10. Seek feedback and adapt Feedback is a compass for growth. Individuals should actively seek insights from trusted sources, using constructive criticism to adjust actions. Organizations can implement structured feedback loops, employee surveys, and iterative planning to ensure adaptation and responsiveness to challenges. 11. Celebrate progress Acknowledging achievements reinforces motivation. Individuals should recognize small wins, reinforcing confidence and encouraging further risk-taking. Organizations can highlight milestones, celebrate innovation, and reward teams for initiative, reinforcing a culture that values growth over complacency. 12. Commit to lifelong growth Moving beyond comfort is not a one-time event, it’s an ongoing practice. Individuals should adopt a mindset of continual self-improvement across mental, emotional, and physical domains. Organizations must embed continuous learning, innovation, and adaptive strategies into their DNA to remain competitive and resilient. Conclusion Comfort zones are natural, but they hinder potential when left unchallenged. By cultivating self-awareness, embracing discomfort, setting stretch goals, and fostering a culture of growth, both individuals and organizations can move beyond complacency. Each of the 12 steps reinforces a dynamic cycle of challenge, learning, and advancement. The path beyond comfort zones requires courage, intentionality, and resilience, but the rewards, enhanced performance, innovation, and fulfillment, are profound. Growth is never accidental; it is the product of deliberate action, risk-taking, and a commitment to step into the unknown. Step into growth: Your call to action To grow personally and collectively, we must deliberately step beyond our comfort zones. This requires embracing discomfort, challenging routines, and pursuing stretch goals with courage and resilience. Individuals should seek new experiences, take calculated risks, and commit to continuous learning. Organizations must foster cultures that reward innovation, experimentation, and feedback. Growth demands action, moving toward the unknown, confronting fear, and resisting complacency. The call to action is clear: choose discomfort over stagnation and transform potential into progress.[4] Ready to move from inaction to impact? Book a coaching session today and start transforming distraction and overwhelm into focused, value-adding action. Let’s unlock your potential and turn clarity into measurable results. Follow me on Instagram, and visit my LinkedIn for more info! Read more from Dr. Alex Kokkonen Dr. Alex Kokkonen, Peak Performance Mentor and Life & Leadership Coach At 55, Alex is a rare blend of technologist, athlete, and global leader. A Distinguished Technologist with a PhD in IT, a DBA in Business, and a Fellow of CIMA, she also holds three master’s degrees. Her 35-year career spans leadership and consulting roles across four continents and over fifty countries. Beyond her corporate life, she is a published model with over 100 magazine covers, an award-winning fitness professional, and a competitive bodybuilder. Today, she channels her unique mix of intellect, resilience, and discipline into coaching and mentoring, helping others achieve their best in life, career, and wellbeing. Related articles: [1] Comfort zone orientation: Individual differences in the motivation to move beyond one's comfort zone - ScienceDirect – Investigates psychological traits that predict whether individuals value pushing beyond comfort zones. [2] When to challenge employees' comfort zones? The interplay between culture fit, innovation culture and supervisors' intellectual stimulation - ScienceDirect – Discusses how culture and leadership influence when and how staff are encouraged to step out of routine behaviours. [3] Comfort zone orientation: Individual differences in the motivation to move beyond one's comfort zone - ScienceDirect – Investigates psychological traits that predict whether individuals value pushing beyond comfort zones. [4] Frontiers | Using a comfort zone model and daily life situations to develop entrepreneurial competencies and an entrepreneurial mindset