You Don’t Need to Know Your Purpose, Here’s Why
- Jul 11, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Brittney Van Matre, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Purpose is an amorphous, fully loaded topic.
There is so much talk about purpose – finding your purpose, knowing your purpose, following your purpose, living a purpose-driven life, having a purpose-driven career, and building a purpose-driven workplace. It is overwhelming.
And if we don’t know our purpose, we can feel like we are somehow falling behind or even failing. If we are following what seems to be an aimless path with no clear goal or timelines, we can easily spiral into confusion, self-doubt, and defeat.
However, what if I told you that your purpose is often not meant to be known but to be discovered.
Purpose does not show up in our lives as a clearly defined goal, but rather as a series of undeterminable, ever-evolving innate impulses that are slowly and mysteriously unearthing our unique destinies.
Purpose lives in the shadow of our lives; we cannot fully know it. It instead reveals itself mainly in hints, intuitions, dreams, sudden urges, and the things that make us odd. Our oddities, those things we were shamed for or the things that make us different, can often point the way toward our unique purpose and calling.
Getting acquainted with our purpose requires deep, curious listening and self-inquiry. How can we do this? Here are a few ways:
Ground Down in Nature
Nature is our home. It is constantly inviting us to grow down and listen. The Earth is here to ground, feed, nurture, help, and teach us. The earth resides in the feminine mode of being and is as Lao Tzu says, “Doing nothing and everything is getting done”. It is receptive, ebbing, and flowing with ease.
Think of different places on this Earth that you have lived.
How has each of these places participated in the story of your life?
How is the place you are living now informing your story and informing your destiny?
How are you aware of and living with the cycles of the seasons?
Nature is inviting us into a feminine receptivity of our life unfolding. We are invited to learn and connect with the history, flora, fauna, and geology of our local natural environments, regulate our nervous systems through consistent connection with nature, and slowly learn how our environments are informing or paralleling our life experiences.
Tip: Significant scientific research shows us that spending 120 minutes in nature per week can have a measurable impact on our minds, bodies, and overall health.
The Little You
Calling is closest and the most present in our lives around the ages of 3 to 8 and again during our adolescent years. During these times we experience less distraction which allows our purpose to get closer to us. We likely acted out our unique callings, albeit unknowingly. Your purpose is always more expressive and your urges are stronger during your childhood.
Thinking of your youth, see if you can recall what were you drawn to.
What was happening in your childhood?
What were you thinking about, excited about, what was moving you?
What were you interested in?
How were you spending your days?
What were the things that naturally poured forth?
What came to you innately and easily?
What was fun?
What did you love?
These are all clues to your destiny. Your child-self knows exactly who you are and what you came here to do.
Understand your Family System
We are born into a specific family for a reason; there are no accidents. Whether you had a good childhood or bad childhood, it doesn’t matter, you were born into that particular family constellation for a reason. Something about your parents and family system is unique to your purpose. We choose the circumstances that will allow us to learn the most. Those dynamics will allow us to realize our destiny later in life. With that in mind, reflect on the following questions.
Whom were you parented by?
Who was the family you were born into and what was the location in which you were born?
Where were you born?
What about your environment parented you?
Family system and the location in which you were born matter greatly. You were parented by everything around you. Every element, human and non-human, plays a part in the unfolding of your life.
Finding a Mentor
Your destiny needs a mentor. And, you can have more than one. Your mentors see something in you at a pivotal moment in your life. Somehow, they understand and can see your innate talents. They nurture those talents and help you bring them forth.
It is as if the Universe chooses them to connect with you and say something meaningful to you that will stick for a lifetime. They come onto your path for a reason. They are unique to your journey.
Who mentored you?
Who is somebody who knows your innate talents?
Who is someone who has seen in you what you couldn’t see in yourself?
These are the beautiful souls helping you create the grounds and conditions for your purpose to flourish.
The Beauty of Surrender
Surrendering to the process of unfolding, dropping into our feminine energy, and embodying the yin to our ever-present yang, is the final key to unearthing our purpose. If we cannot fully know our purpose, cannot fully grasp it, we have no other choice but to surrender to its unfolding.
This is hard.
We live in a world where the masculine dominates. We want to have it all and have it all right now. We want to live in a perpetual state of spring and summer, constantly reaping what we have sown. We don’t want to go into the fall and winter, the darkness, the pregnancy of the experience. But that what is surrendering to your unique destiny requires. Life requires that.
The alchemist says, “In your patience is your soul”.
How can you be patient with not knowing?
How can you be patient with listening to your body and your intuitions?
How can you grow to love your oddities?
We are invited to ground down to the Earth, and look deeply into our family systems and our parental figures, not with judgment for what they did or didn’t do, but with a sense and a knowing that that perfect set of conditions was given to us, chosen by us, to help us realize our gifts and destiny.
I hope this offers a fresh way of looking at your unique life. Your life is important. You do have a destiny and it will manifest itself.
Brittney Van Matre, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Brittney is a workplace strategist, coach, and entrepreneur passionate about building workplaces that prioritize the wellbeing of our Earth and humanity. She helps executive leaders build human-centered workplaces that attract, retain, and grow the world’s best talent, creating a future of work that works for all. Her writing explores the intersection of business, depth psychology, regenerative leadership, and the human experience.
