Writing Your Own Story
- Aug 13, 2021
- 4 min read
Written by: Marnix Pauwels, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A couple of years ago I started to write like this.
This.
Just one sentence at a time, followed by a bit of space, a blank line.
And then another sentence or word.
No paragraphs, no cluster of sentences, no formal formatting.
After decades of writing advertising stuff and many, many blogs and columns and articles for magazines, I just let go of the required, obvious structures.
Not to be different, but because it just felt good.
It felt like me.
When I was around my 4th post following this new way of writing, a nice guy who is a Facebook friend commented on the story, saying he quite liked it, but also telling me the formatting was off, and that would eventually work against me. “People are used to a specific organization of words,” he told me, “there are strict rules, and they don’t like it when it’s different from what they know.”
And I thought he was right.
He was as right as someone who is not interested in following his heart can be, as someone who fiercely adheres to the standard because it’s safe and because it is proven to be what works and what people like.
He was as right as his way of thinking allowed.
So I thanked him for the comment and his inclination to help me out, but I also told him that this was simply the way I was going to do it because it connected authentically to the energy I feel when I write, and I told him that was way more important to me than keeping up with the standard.
So.
Fast forward to this year and a few hundred blogs in, and I can tell you I have seen more people who started posting in this specific way.
Now that is truly funny to me, and I like it a lot, and it is even quite flattering, but that’s just more of a vanity thing, and not why I am so happy that I kept doing it the way I wanted it to do (in spite of well-meant advice to get back in line).
What makes me truly happy is how I feel while doing it.
Like momentum has got my back, and I am lovingly filled with inspiration.
And that deep, intuitive vibe has led me to a new rule:
I only do what feels good.
It took me many years of struggle and all kinds of weird shit and embarrassing moments and self-judgment to surrender to that deepest wish, but here I am.
I only do what feels good because when it feels good, I know it’s me.
The Real Me.
Feeling good is what the universe uses to help you find your truest Self. It’s there for a reason.
And when you follow the feeling, you will start doing what only you can do.
The thing is: everybody likes rebels, but most of us are not interested in the bumpy road that leads to becoming one.
We don’t like to feel discomfort, criticism, and judgment, and we hate it when things take time to evolve and grow into something beautiful and special.
So if you are in for a stretch of exploring the soul of everything you do and want in life, cultivate some patience, resilience, and a personal vision (even if the vision is nothing more than a felt sense of direction), you have to do what feels good and learn to listen to that feeling, keep it close, make it your best friend.
You also have to stop giving a shit about the crowd out there that is trying to get you back in line, their line, mostly.
Because this is what people do who make their own rules (and stick to it): they don’t wait for approval of those rules.
They do and create and be what feels authentically good.
They realize, deep within, that it’s more important to find their voice and speak it than to say things that are safe and universally agreed on.
Which to me seems really very boring and uninspiring.
Listen: our life, this life, is an amazingly precious, wonderful happening, and if we are lucky enough, we find ways of expressing gratitude for that miracle we get to be a part of for a short while.
I don’t mind being a wise-ass, but mostly because I really like to live intuitively, authentically, powerfully, and in flow.
It takes time and endurance to find your voice and learn how to use it, and you will have to overcome quite some adversity and anxiety, and criticism.
But it’s so fucking worth it!
And although it’s probably the road of most resistance: that is also exactly why it’s so valuable, and powerful, and invigorating, and liberating.
Resistance is the smell of delayed reward coming closer.
And patience is a true superpower.
Stay curious, find your voice, don’t go for less, cherish it, and keep speaking it.
Let the light inside of you find you, and use you.
Before you know it (which is later than you want but quicker than you think), you’ll find people who have been looking for you all their lives.
And you will be a rebel in your own respect.
Find the good feeling, and keep following it, no matter what.
That is my purpose, and I wish it to be yours too.
You can totally do it.
Just take it one line at a time.
Marnix Pauwels, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marnix Pauwels is a Dutch transformative coach and author of eight books -mostly- about mental health, living in Amsterdam with two cats. He has worked in advertising as a copywriter and Creative Director for 30 years, is a singer/songwriter, and has extensive knowledge of addiction/compulsive behavior, depression, and anxiety, deepened by personal experience. Marnix has always been fascinated by what drives people, and more in particular, what drives them crazy. He’s read over 5.000 books on self-development/improvement, life-hacks, and spirituality viewed thousands of videos on the topics, and kept on exploring the depths of the human mind and how to navigate our psychological storms with grace and respect. As a transformative coach, Marnix has helped thousands of people find a more playful, exciting, creative, and liberated life, living from a clear mind and a deep trust in their personal resilience. Marnix is a curious world traveler who loves to meet new people, write, wonder, and keep fit and happy.
