When Animals Grieve: Advice for Loss and Healing – Understanding Your Pet's Grief and How to Help
- Brainz Magazine
- Jun 25
- 7 min read
Angela Kearney is a holistic therapist for people and pets. She is a Registered Animal Healer, Reiki Master Practitioner, Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioner and Pet Bereavement counsellor. Angela offers healing and consultations for animals (and their humans) in London, UK.
When a beloved animal companion dies, we often focus on the heartbreak of the humans left behind and rightly so. But what happens to the pets who remain? Do animals grieve the way we do?
It's a question I'm hearing more often and one I've spent years witnessing firsthand. In my work as an Animal Healer, I support animals and their guardians through loss. I've seen subtle and sometimes heart-breaking expressions of grief from the surviving pet.
Scientists have yet to determine whether animals comprehend death or experience grief in the same way humans do. Due to the nature of grief, it remains challenging to quantify and analyse it in animals. Researchers caution against anthropomorphism, warning that attributing human emotions to animals without definitive evidence can lead to misinterpretation.
While animals may not grieve in the same way humans do, they most certainly seem to feel the absence of a bonded companion and the impact can be profound.
Behavioural clues to a pet's grief
Grief in animals may not always be loud or dramatic. Sometimes, it's in the stillness: the dog who stops sleeping in their bed, the cat who begins meowing at night for no apparent reason. Recognising these signs of grief is crucial for pet owners, as it can help them understand and support their pets during this difficult time.
Look out for changes such as:
Loss of appetite or changes in eating habits
Withdrawal from affection or social interaction, such as play or walks
Clinginess or seeking extra attention
Pacing, restlessness, or searching behaviours
Altered sleep patterns or disrupted routines
Vocalising more than usual, crying, or unusual noises
Loss of confidence
Signs of sadness, anxiety, stress, or shutting down
When pets absorb our grief
In my intuitive work with animals, I've come to understand that grief often resides in the unseen. The surviving pet may feel the energetic "hole" left behind more acutely than the death event itself. They may wait by a door, search for their friend, nap in a recently vacated spot, or vocalise into silence.
Many pets respond not only to the absence of their companion but also to shifts in the emotional atmosphere created by the humans around them. Animals are sensitive to changes in energy and mood, which can influence how they experience and express grief.
There's also the phenomenon of pets taking on their human's emotional state—absorbing grief, holding space, or even mirroring distress. It can be more challenging to distinguish between their grief and the empathetic resonance they're expressing on behalf of their household.
Every pet is different. Every bond is unique. And every loss echoes differently.
Healing the heart: Emotional and energetic support for grieving pets
Pets experiencing loss benefit from calm, thoughtful care that respects their way of grieving. This section outlines gentle, holistic approaches to support their emotional and energetic well-being during this time.
1. Recognise, respect, and reassure
Recognise signs of grief: withdrawal, pacing, searching, loss of appetite, changed sleep patterns, or sudden clinginess.
Maintaining familiar routines, whenever possible, is a key strategy for pet owners to help their pets feel secure and in control during times of upheaval.
Speak to your pet gently about what has happened and reassure them, even if it feels strange, they feel your intention.
2. Support with Bach flower remedies
As a BFRAP (Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioner), I often recommend Bach Flower Remedies to help animals process emotional stress. These remedies work subtly on the emotional body and can be incredibly effective for pets experiencing grief.
Some helpful options include:
Star of Bethlehem: For shock or trauma and sudden loss
Walnut: For transition and adjustment to the changed home environment
Gorse: For despair when the pet seems to have lost hope
Honeysuckle: When longing for the past
A qualified practitioner can create a custom blend tailored to the animal's specific needs.
3. Animal Reiki to support grieving pets
Animal Reiki is a non-invasive energetic support that allows the animal to process grief at their own pace. It doesn't push or try to "fix." Instead, Reiki creates a calm and safe space where healing can unfold gently.
Many grieving animals visibly relax during or after a single Reiki session, as if exhaling a weight they've been quietly carrying. This release can mark the true beginning of their emotional recovery and healing. Invite a practitioner to visit your home or consider taking a beginner course. Sharing Reiki with your pet is a beautiful way to bond. You can also share the healing benefits!
4. Clearing the space: Healing the home's energy
The energetic "hole" left by a companion can linger in the environment. Gentle clearing using sound, Reiki, or simple intention can help clear the space.
Shared rituals, such as lighting a candle or placing a memory box and photo of the departed pet in a calm, dedicated place, can also help realign the home's energy and foster collective healing.
Helping pets adjust: Practical guidance
In addition to emotional and energetic support, some practical, compassionate steps can help a pet navigate the absence of a companion more smoothly.
Allowing farewell: When possible, giving the surviving animal a chance to see the body of their companion before physical changes occur can help them comprehend the loss. This moment of witnessing may reduce the confusion that leads to ongoing searching or vocalising for a friend who won't return.
Be mindful of burial: If burying the deceased pet at home, it's often wise not to allow dogs with a tendency to dig to observe the burial site. This can help avoid distressing behaviours later.
Consider temporary change: In some cases, a brief change of scene, such as a peaceful stay with a trusted friend or relative, can gently disrupt patterns of attachment and reduce the intensity of grief. Decide with sensitivity to the individual animal's temperament and needs
Introducing new relationships: When a pet has lost a close companion and no other animals are present, some guardians find it helpful to introduce a new animal, ideally before the anticipated loss. The surviving pet has an opportunity to form new bonds, which may help cushion the emotional impact of losing their original companion.
However, this approach isn't always suitable for every species or household. Dogs are often more open to welcoming a new animal. In contrast, cats tend to be more territorial and may reject or resist new feline introductions. The grieving animal might not form a close connection and, in some cases, may remain aloof or even aggressive toward the newcomer.
Timing is everything. For both grieving humans and pets, introducing another animal into the home should never be rushed. The desire to 'fill the void' can be intense. Still, the decision must be made with care when the guardian feels emotionally ready and able to manage the adjustment.
Encourage independence early: When preparing for the death of one pet in a bonded pair, a gentle way to help the surviving animal become more comfortable with independent activities is to occasionally separate key activities, such as feeding times, so they can become more accustomed to doing things alone.
These small, intentional changes can help animals gradually adapt to life without their companion, with less distress and greater emotional resilience.
When pets lose their humans
Though most of this article focuses on the grief experienced when an animal companion dies, many pets also experience profound loss when a human they've bonded with passes away.
This grief can be particularly confusing for them, as the person may be gone without visible explanation. They may wait by the door, sleep on the deceased's belongings, or seem disoriented and withdrawn. In some cases, pets will go off food or display signs of depression.
Dogs often adjust more readily than cats, who may take longer to reorient, or never quite settle into a new attachment.
Rarely does anything more serious happen, although there are reports of some animals who have "died of a broken heart" shortly after losing a human with whom they shared a very close bond. If grieving persists and the animal struggles to adjust over time, seeking a referral to a qualified behaviourist is often helpful.
Otherwise, lean into the previous methods of support and healing along with time, patience, and love.
Closing thoughts
Grief isn't something we fix; it's something we move through. For animals, as for us, it's a reflection of love and connection and a response to absence that's felt in the body as much as the heart. When a companion is lost, the world shifts. Familiar routines feel different, the energy in the home changes. And our animals notice, often more deeply than we realise.
One of the most compassionate understandings we can bring to grief is the idea of continuing bonds, the recognition that relationships don't simply end when someone dies. Instead, the love changes form. It lives on in memory, in daily rituals, and in the quiet ways we carry their presence forward. Animals often show us this instinctively, holding space for those they've lost in ways that are tender, instinctive, and real.
When we witness and support this grief with patience, presence, and care, we offer our animals the same thing we seek ourselves: a path through pain that leads not to forget but to a gentler way of remembering.
Read more from Angela Kearney
Angela Kearney, Holistic Therapist for People and Pets
Angela Kearney is a holistic practitioner and advocate of holistic living for both humans and animals. During a profoundly challenging time in her life, she turned to Reiki and Bach Flower Remedies in search of safe, gentle, and non-addictive healing therapies. When her young cat was diagnosed with idiopathic epilepsy, Angela was determined to support him wholly. This led to a new career path as she expanded her knowledge, qualifying as a Reiki Practitioner and Teacher, Bach Foundation Registered Animal Practitioner (BFRAP), and Registered Animal Healer. Angela’s multimodal approach to pet wellbeing yields transformative results, addressing the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of every animal.
