What To Do When You Feel You Are Being Emotionally Hijacked
- Apr 5, 2022
- 4 min read
Written by: Sharleen Beaumont, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We utilize energy in everyday interactions and by using our minds and emotions. Our energy is a treasure that we should guard and protect. How do we conserve it and not give it away? We tend to give our energy out when we react rather than respond. We operate from this place when we are not grounded nor working from our most empowered self.
Some examples are when a person, place, or event triggers us. Here we go into blaming, complaining, feeling guilt, shame, anger or frustration, judging, putting conditions on love, and holding a grudge or silent contract. They are silent as the person we grudge against often doesn't know or care.
If we can observe ourselves in these low resonating emotions, we can identify we are misaligned.
Hate and anger take up a lot of energy, and if we were to dive into these emotions, we would find we are often acting from our wounds. Can you think of the last time someone did something that triggered something in you? The incident throws you off, and you instantly feel your emotions taking over or hijacked.
We recognize emotional hijacking by becoming disoriented in a heated conversation. We cannot think and make decisions; we lose perspectives and only view the interaction as I am right; you are wrong. Our memory is compromised, and we build evidence against the person while forgetting any positive attributes. We become unable to hear or communicate positively, and we are not seeking resolution in this space. In short, we lose control of our emotions and our behaviour.
When emotions run high, logic runs low. Some quick antidotes are naming the emotion, taking and counting ten belly breaths, and talking with a trusted person.
We can find lots of opportunities to identify further self-development. One way is to change our perspective on emotions. Emotions are simply messengers nudging us in one way or another. Rather than reacting, divesting into them would serve us better. For example, anger lets us know when there has been unfair treatment. When we see it in others, we tend to engage less, feel attacked, or get defensive. It perpetuates emotions. In anger, we can lose the ability to hear or understand what the other person may be trying to convey.
However, anger can also be helpful. When we view it from a new perspective, even though there has been an injustice, we can still use this energy as rocket fuel to take appropriate empowered action to get us to where we want to be.
How do we take empowered action instead of disempowered reaction?
After being triggered by a person or an event, we need to pause, take a pause, even if it means stepping away and disengaging and letting the other person know we will get back to them when calm.
The next step is moving our energy; going for a walk is an excellent way to do this. We can then take the time to view the situation from another perspective.
Our emotions will rise and point us in a direction; in taking the above steps, we regain control and decide where to put our energy; you are the creator of your reality with creative control of your experience.
Dependent on the situation, we may require more processing time. Journaling is always helpful to get the tug of war thoughts out of your head and onto paper. It also gives our minds some relief.
Some questions we can ask are:
What am I not seeing that may be below the surface?
What is my role or responsibility?
How did I betray myself or go against my values, causing me to become unaligned?
What am I gaining by holding on to this?
What do I need to let go of that no longer serves me?
Where can I forgive myself and the other person?
Can I give others the benefit of the doubt that they are not intentionally trying to be a crappy human rather doing the best with what they know?
We all require a degree of healing and are walking wounded somehow. A caveat; know what is yours and what is not. Additionally, we need to recognize what we need to feel safe. If you struggle to decipher, find a professional with an unbiased opinion.
Getting a hold of our sense of well-being, emotions, and feeling good starts with daily routines. Routines that bring us closer to our empowered selves. For many, meditation, walking, connecting with nature, loving ourselves, and not judging by controlling our self-talk are ways to do this.
The great news is that this is something anyone can do and start today! The act of starting will help you gain momentum. There is a treasure in understanding our emotions, don't bury them.
Sharleen Beaumont, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sharleen Beaumont is an EQ Master Empowerment Coach and Founder of Brave New Ending.
She helps clients get unstuck from their stories and manage their emotions. Her clients re-imagine their life, connect with their highest self utilizing the foundation of all change; emotions!
After graduating from University, Sharleen's career began in Victim Services. She then became a Certified Mediator, and Mediated for her Community and Courts. Her career moved to Corporate Communications and Consulting, working globally. Next, she stepped into an Entrepreneurial life, helping take a new company to the multi-million dollar level. Deciding to live life on purpose, she received her Master Empowerment Coach certification and started Brave New Ending.
Brave- a strength of character, courageous, faces fear, determined, passionate, on purpose.
New Ending-keeps the end goal in mind to write their next chapter and life story.
