To Live Fully Is to Accept Death
- 13 hours ago
- 10 min read
Sara has a unique ability to quickly shift energy into presence and joy through her work as a mindfulness coach, speaker, and yoga instructor. She is also the author of the book One With Nature (published in 2025) and a popular speaker in the field.
If you are afraid of death, talking about it, thinking about it, losing someone close to you, or facing the fact that one day you will die, you might also ask yourself: Are you afraid of living? Death and life are, after all, deeply connected. At 27, I lost both of my parents. Their deaths became one of the deepest experiences of my life and, paradoxically, one of the most profound reminders of what it means to truly live. In the midst of grief, something shifted in me, but it was not the beginning of my curiosity about these questions.
Since my teenage years, I have been deeply curious about the inner world and about what it means to be human. I have explored meditation, spirituality, consciousness, and the deeper questions of existence, while also being fascinated by scientific perspectives on life, the brain, what it means to be human, and what may lie beyond this life.
So death was never entirely unfamiliar to me as a subject. I had been curious about it, reflected on it, and explored different perspectives for many years. But losing my parents brought everything to another level. Their deaths became a much deeper, more personal exploration of what death means and of whether death really is the end.
Through grief, curiosity, study, and my own experience, I came to understand death differently. For me, death is not the end. It has become a guide, a doorway into a deeper understanding of life and a reminder to live it fully. “Death showed me how to truly live.”
That experience has stayed with me and continues to shape the way I work, the books I write, and my willingness to speak about the things we so often avoid, silence, or push aside in order to keep going: death, grief, love, vulnerability, loneliness, meaning, and the questions that arise when life does not go according to plan.
In this article, I want to invite you to approach the subject of death with curiosity. If the thought of death feels heavy or frightening, I hope these words can also be a steady hand to hold onto, a reminder that you don't have to face these thoughts alone.
Because the truth is, death can, surprisingly, become one of our greatest teachers, opening the door to a deeper and fuller experience of life.
We can choose to meet the subject with curiosity rather than avoidance. We can explore our fears, question what we believe, listen to different perspectives, and become more conscious of what death brings up within us. Perhaps we don't need to have all the answers. Perhaps we simply need the courage to stay open, to explore the mystery, to listen to what resonates with us, and to allow our relationship with death to evolve.
In doing so, we may discover that thinking about death is not really about death at all. It is about life. I’ll share what losing my parents taught me, how those experiences shaped the books I write, and some practical ways we can begin to make friends with death. Because perhaps the question is not simply how we can stop being afraid of dying. Perhaps the deeper question is: How do I want to live while I am here?
Five ways to change your relationship with death
Step 1: Become more conscious
The first step towards becoming more at ease with death, or with whatever you are trying to understand, change, or make peace with in your life, is awareness. Before we can change our relationship with something, we first need to become aware of how we relate to it now. This begins with slowing down and becoming present with ourselves.
Can you slow down for a moment? Can you be present with yourself, rather than immediately getting lost in your thoughts, worries, fears, and stories about what might happen? The mind can create endless scenarios and contribute to anxiety and worry.
When it comes to death, the mind can create so much fear around it because death is something we cannot control. Perhaps what scares us most is that we don't have all the answers. Presence offers another way.
When you become more present, you begin to get to know yourself beneath the noise of your thoughts. You may discover your inner strength, your capacity to stay with difficult emotions, and perhaps even a sense of something deeper, your soul, your essence, or simply the quiet awareness of being here.
Solitude can be an important part of this practice. I believe solitude is an essential ingredient for a meaningful and purposeful life. When we allow ourselves to step away from the noise and simply be with ourselves, we create space for inner peace, awareness, and a deeper connection with who we are.
If you have read my work before, you may know that I often speak about the importance of nature. You can read more about that in my book One with Nature. Nature is one of the most powerful places to practice awareness and learn how to be comfortable in your own company.
Take the time to go out into nature, slow down, explore, and simply be. You don't always need to look for answers. Sometimes, nature has a way of teaching us simply by allowing us to be present. The magic is waiting.
If there is one thing nature knows, it is that life is a cycle. We are born, we grow, we change, and eventually we die. Nature does not resist death. It accepts it as part of the natural rhythm of existence.
Everything is constantly changing, transforming, ending, and beginning again. Perhaps there is something we can learn from that: death is not something separate from life, but a natural part of it. Awareness is where wholeness begins.
Step 2: Start talking about death
For many people, death is something they tend to avoid. One of the simplest ways to become less afraid of something is to stop making it a forbidden subject.
Across different cultures and throughout history, people have developed very different relationships with death. In some traditions, death is openly discussed, remembered collectively, honoured, and even celebrated as a natural part of life.
But this is not the case everywhere. For many people, death remains a subject that is rarely spoken about. So what might happen if we simply allowed ourselves to start talking about death?
Talk to someone, such as a family member or close friend. Ask them what they think about death. Ask what they are afraid of. Ask what they would want at the end of their life. Talk about your parents, your grandparents, and people you have lost. Share memories.
You may discover something surprising: when we give death words, it can become less frightening. Sometimes when we dare to speak about what we fear, we realise that it wasn't as difficult or frightening to talk about as we imagined. Instead, it can be healing, freeing, and help us grow.
Also, ask yourself these questions: What is it about death that scares me? What is holding me back from living fully, from being fully myself, or from doing what I truly want to do?
What is important to me? How do I want to live? What could I do, even in a small way, to live more fully each day? Perhaps the fear of death can become a guide, not towards having all the answers, but towards asking better questions about how you want to live.
Don't stop at talking. Read, learn, explore, and listen to other people's experiences. Be curious about different cultures and traditions, as well as stories from people who have had near-death experiences or who have lost someone close to them.
You don't have to agree with everything you encounter. Simply allow yourself to be open, curious, and inspired. The more we dare to explore the subject, the less unfamiliar it can become.
Step 3: Get curious about your fear
Instead of trying to hide your fear, push it away, or pretend it isn't there, what if you became curious about it? Start by noticing what happens inside you when you think about death. What do you feel in your body? What thoughts appear? What are you actually afraid of?
Maybe you are afraid because you don't know what will happen, because you don't have the answers. Maybe you are afraid of losing someone you love and not knowing how you will cope. Maybe there are things you haven't said, things you haven't done, or parts of your life you feel you haven't fully lived yet.
Instead of judging your fear or trying to push it away, try becoming curious about it. Ask yourself: What am I actually afraid of? What is this fear trying to tell me? Is there something I need to say, do, feel, or change while I am here?
Being curious about your fear doesn't mean making it disappear. It means getting to know it. Sometimes when we dare to look closely, we discover that underneath our fear of death is something else, a longing to love more, live more fully, or make peace with the life we have.
Step 4: Let death remind you what matters
Knowing that our time here is limited can be a powerful reminder to pay attention to what truly matters to you. Instead of constantly asking yourself, “What is the right way to live?” or “What should I be doing with my life?” you can ask simpler, deeper questions: How can I become more loving while I am here? How can I grow? What do I want to learn? Which relationships do I want to nurture? What do I want to give to the people around me? How can I become a person with a pure heart?
Death can remind us that we don't have forever to leave these things for later. It can bring our attention back to what is truly important.
You don't have to figure out your whole life. Perhaps you can simply ask: What is the next step towards the person I want to become? Then take it. Let death not be a reason to live in fear. When we remember that our time is limited, we may become more willing to use it for what makes our hearts feel most alive.
Here is another gentle reminder: value what you have and practise gratitude for it. Losing both of my parents has taught me this in a profound way. Even though I lost two of the people who meant the most to me, I also learned to see my life with a deep sense of gratitude for the people who are still here, for the experiences I am given, for the gift of being alive, and, perhaps most importantly, for the years I was given with my parents.
Step 5: Make peace with the fact that you don't know
Perhaps one of the hardest things about death is that we simply don't know exactly what happens next. Maybe that is part of the mystery of life: that we are not meant to have all the answers.
Instead of needing to know, we can become curious. We can explore different beliefs, traditions, cultures, and perspectives about what happens after death. Some believe that death is the end. Others believe in an afterlife, that we reconnect with those we have lost, or that we are born again in another form.
You don't have to agree with everything you hear, and you don't have to choose a belief simply because someone else has chosen it. But you can remain open. Listen. Explore. Notice what resonates with you and what brings you a sense of peace, meaning, or connection.
For me, death is not the end. This belief has helped me enormously. I feel that my parents are still with me, even though they are no longer physically here on Earth. I have never felt closer to them than I do today. I carry their love with me, feel deeply connected to them, and experience their presence in my life every day.
Exploring different cultures and traditions that hold a less fearful relationship with death has also helped me understand my own experience in a deeper way.
You may believe something completely different, and that's okay. The point is not to find the “right” answer. The point is to allow yourself to be curious about one of life's greatest mysteries.
Because when we accept that we don't know, something can soften. We don't have to control the unknowable. We can simply live the life that is here, now, with an open heart, with curiosity, and with the awareness that we never truly know what tomorrow will bring.
Perhaps that is not something to fear. Perhaps it is part of what makes being alive so precious.
A final thought
So, if I could leave you with just a few thoughts, they would be these: practise awareness. Come back to the present moment. Practise kindness and openness. Stay curious.
When you don't know what to do or where to go, perhaps simply say, “Show me the way to a pure heart.” Let that guide you towards what matters, towards love, connection, healing, growth, and a deeper experience of being alive.
If you have lost someone you love, I want to leave you with this reminder: you are never alone. The people we love may no longer be physically here, but their love is still here because love can never die.
Remember: death may be part of life, but it can also remind us how precious life truly is.
Let's stay connected
My book, which explores this subject and shares the story of losing my parents, is currently available in Swedish, and soon you will also be able to find it in English.
If you would like to stay connected and be among the first to know when the English edition is available, keep an eye on my website and connect with me on social media.
Connect with me on Instagram and through my website for more inspiration on meditation, yoga, and inner harmony.
Read more from Sara Brinell
Sara Brinell, Author, Speaker & Awareness Guide
Sara is an expert in inner harmony and the healing power of nature. She carries a profoundly healing story, having experienced depression in her teenage years and, later in life, the early loss of both her parents. These experiences became part of a deeper journey that eventually led her to guide others back to their hearts through her work as a yoga instructor, mindfulness coach, and speaker. She also shares her insights through her book One With Nature. Her mission is to show that loneliness can become a path to deeper connection, and that nature can heal where words are not enough.
