Written by: Marc Singer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The date is one that will be etched in my memory forever, the 11th of the 11th, 2011, at 11 am. That was the time my life changed forever…
As I sat at the back of the court, awaiting my sentence, having been found guilty of a crime, I knew, and my friends and family knew, I was innocent of, I was a forlorn figure. Dosed up on painkillers to numb the physical and mental pain caused through the stress of having to go through a court case and subsequent conviction had taken a toll. I was numb to the events unfolding around me.
I had been arrested following a fight at a work Christmas party whereby I had stepped in to defend a young lad who was beaten up by several members of a rival car dealership branch to the one I worked for. I was attacked myself and beaten up by four guys. My girlfriend thought they were going to kill me. I was to spend two weeks in hospital as a result.
The whole episode was a sham from start to finish, and there were no independent witnesses, no CCTV, no forensic evidence. Only their word against ours. And because I had a past where I was involved in gangs and drugs, that ultimately came back to haunt me in court. The police decided I must have been to blame and arrested me, not the assailants. Even though it was clear I had been the one seriously assaulted. Their argument was that I must have needed restraining.
Sentenced to what is called an IPP sentence, which is essentially a life sentence with no release date, I would have to demonstrate I would never offend again if I were ever to be released from prison. Once in custody, I appealed the conviction and sentence, but to no avail. Much to the horror of my family and friends. Who was campaigning outside for my release? My girlfriend blamed herself for not keeping the dress which she was wearing, which was covered in my blood, as evidence. It was a living nightmare!
I was told that unless I accepted full responsibility for the ‘offense,’ I would never be free again. But how do you accept responsibility for something you know you have not done?! In order to not lose my mind, I told myself it was karma for all the bad things I had done in my youth. They had finally caught up with me… Just at a time when I had, on the surface, got my life together. I had a great job as a top salesman for the car dealership I worked for, a girlfriend I loved, and we were saving up for our first home.
Two years into the sentence, I had completed an offending behavior course after offending behavior course in an attempt to demonstrate that I was no threat to society. It was Christmas 2013 when my whole world came crumbling down around me. My Mum, who was everything to me, was diagnosed with cancer. Within two weeks, she would be dead. But not before my beloved cat, Typsy, died suddenly the very day before my Mum did. I was stunned. Shocked. Empty. But I had to hold it together for my Dad, who was in poor health himself and struggling on his own outside.
I had to arrange her funeral from prison because he wasn’t able to. He stopped eating. Stopped taking his medication for an overactive thyroid condition. He gave up. And exactly three months to the day after losing my Mum, he died suddenly from a cardiac arrest whilst I spoke to him on the phone. Again, I had to arrange his funeral. Attending both in handcuffs attached to a prison officer. Shortly after that, my last remaining immediate family went when my grandad died at the age of 97.
Throughout all this, I had to arrange for the family home to sell, and with the help of close friends, managed to clear the house out, have it cleaned, and have our remaining 20 cats rehomed. All of whom were like babies to me. All in all that year, I lost no less than thirty-one people, animals, and things (i.e., my home) that I loved. And yet, I still had to keep my mind together and get the hell out of prison.
For a while, I did okay. I was working in a warehouse for DHL there, and that helped occupy my time. But the breaking point came about a year after I lost my Mum. It came when my now ex-girlfriend secretly started a relationship with my best friend. They lied to me about it. However, a friend told me. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I took an overdose and suffered a heart attack. Luckily, a friend found me and administered CPR.
That was my turning point. The following year was hard. My health was poor. I was back and forth to the hospital having checks. And I had lost everyone and everything I loved. Thankfully I did still have some amazing friends supporting me, whom without I don’t know what would have happened. But I decided that I no longer wanted to be a victim… And that was when I decided to change things.
I started working in the Education Department as a teaching assistant in the Critical Reasoning Class. And I started doing a degree. I was mentoring young kids who had been involved in gangs and drugs when I realized I had a natural talent and aptitude to help people and get the best out of them. It was then I started a business course and had to complete a business plan. The first thing that popped into my head was, ‘Life Coach’!
After all, I had endured and been through, and it wasn’t long before the authorities recognized and rewarded me with the release. And ironically, as I write this article today, I have just been invited back to that prison to do a talk to the inmates in there now. Officers and inmates alike were in awe of how well I had coped under so much adversity and pressure. But I did take a toll. And I had therapy and counseling as a consequence.
Fast forward to now, and I am a highly trained professional coach, having embarked on a two-year period and 360 hours of training with the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). I now use my personal experiences and my training to help others become the very best versions of themselves! Using a specific process over several months, I help people transform their thinking and create amazing things. After all, it worked for me, as after leaving prison, I was lost and directionless until I discovered iPEC.
They taught me the CORE Energy Coaching process, a holistic approach that helps you and your clients transform their lives from the inside out. Optimizing all areas of your life so that you are performing at your best consistently, all the time. And using this amazing structure and process, coupled with my own personal experience, has enabled me to set up, build and thrive as a professional coach. And I am only just getting started!
Marc Singer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marc is a highly trained professional coach, a graduate of (iPEC) the institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching. After being badly bullied at school, Marc became involved in a gang full of violence and drugs. Although having enjoyed a great upbringing and from a loving family, he went off the rails. Having moved on from that life, he found himself in a situation one night that would change his life forever. Imprisoned for life for a crime he didn’t commit, he embarked upon an incredible journey of change. Tragically having lost all of his family whilst in prison, Marc found the strength to rebuild his life, secure his freedom, and build an amazing career. He now helps others create the life they desire and become the very best versions of themselves. Currently authoring his first book, his life story, he also coaches one-to-one in groups and does inspiring speaking arrangements motivating others to overcome their own barriers to success. In fact, he was recently invited back to the prison he was in, but this time not as an inmate but as a speaker. His story is unique, tragic, and shocking, but ultimately evidence that with the right mindset and approach to life, you really can achieve absolutely anything!
