Technology, Science And Finding Joy From A Dark Night Of The Soul – One Engineer’s Journey To Self
- Brainz Magazine
- Nov 4, 2023
- 8 min read
Updated: Jan 18, 2024
Written by: Sabine Priestley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What exactly are ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ and ‘Awakening’ anyway?
I had heard of terms like "spiritual awakening" and "enlightenment," but couldn't directly relate to them. I probably envisioned yogis doing yogi things. I didn’t realize it’s really all about personal change on a massive scale.
The Dark Night of the Soul was more familiar to me as an author, from Joseph Campbell’s book The Hero’s Journey. This cultural mythology is a common template used as a plotting device for writing fiction.
At this point I can tell you that dark nights and awakenings are intensely personal and unique to everyone. The hallmark is personal transformation and growth. Or not. The transformation entails a journey and as we live in a paradigm of free will, no all who are ‘called’ choose to respond.
The hero’s journey and dark night
The hero's journey starts when something big happens that takes the main character out of their normal life and pushes them to act, or in story format, forces them to embark on a quest. During the quest, challenges arise, and a point comes where all is lost. This is the dark night of the soul. It’s a turning point for the main character—will they perish, or will they persevere and untimely triumph?
I entered my own hero’s journey and dark night in 2016. The death of my Mother, my Father-in-Law and my then 18yr marriage, all within a month, was my call to action.
It was at this point that I realized I didn’t know who I was any longer. Like someone flipping on the light in a dark room, I saw clearly how my entire life was a series of roles, none of which were really me. Daughter, engineer, wife, mother, author, friend… who was I underneath all that? Aspects of these relationships became illuminated in odd ways, leaving me seriously confused.
This experience led to the classic “awakening” and transformed me into who I am today. At first, I resisted. The things happening in my world were far to woo-woo for me to acknowledge, but ultimately, I realized that staying in my old world wasn’t an option. For the first time in my life, I understood what people mean when they say something was a calling.
I was being led forward and once I surrendered to the unknown, a steady stream of what I call breadcrumbs where always at hand illuminating the path.
Learn from my mistakes
If life is getting weird and somewhat surreal, don’t ignore it. Turn inward and face it head on. It might just be the most amazing trip you’ll ever take, or it could just be last night’s pizza—you’ll find out soon enough.
I changed my perception of reality by learning about energetics as they apply to our bodies, and quantum physics as it applies to the human experience. It’s cool on the level of Star Wars and the Force, or Harry Potter finding Hogwarts.
There’s nothing new here
The ancient Greeks called it Metanoia: a transformative change of heart or mind, often associated with spiritual growth. Zen Buddhists refer to it as Satori: surpassing normal perception to connect with a higher reality. That’s probably why the hippies of the sixties called it a transcendental experience, also known as one hell of a trip.
If Spirituality or any religious affiliation makes your skin crawl or your gut tighten up, it’s OK. This isn’t religion and you don’t need to call it spirituality. What I’m talking about is energy and understanding how that plays a role in everything we do, think and ultimately are. It’s a journey worth taking.
Spirituality for the rest of us – It’s just energy, baby
My “dark night” was a path to self-realization and actualization. That’s a topic for another time but suffice to say that before you can live life on your terms, you must know who you are and what you truly desire.
A meaningful dark night is going to leave you with nothing to build from when it comes time to start over—no assumptions and no limitations either. By being open to all possibilities, this journey can lead you to unexpected places.
Symptoms of a dark night of the soul or awakening
How do you know if you’re staring a “dark night” or awakening in the face? Let’s take a look at some symptoms:
You are increasingly uncomfortable with your life as it is now.
You’re beginning to see life differently, questioning things you always took for granted before.
You feel a calling, or a yearning within to become something more, but you don’t know what.
You know there is more to this life than you are currently living.
Your interests are shifting.
You no longer feel like hanging out with your usual groups and circles of friends.
You find yourself doing things differently.
The changes you’re experiencing are causing those around you to feel uncomfortable. Whether you know it or not, you’re beginning to change the rules of the game you’ve been playing.
All the above was happening in my world. It was confusing and maddening. The engineer in me wanted to fix all the things NOW.
Logic had been my “go to”, but logic was getting me nowhere. And worse, weird stuff was happening all the time. To be clear, it was mostly good, but I couldn’t think my way through this unfamiliar landscape.
If you’re on this journey, you probably have a strong desire to discuss what you’re going through and may have no one to talk to that understands. It’s as though you’re the only one speaking a new language. Everything has shifted, but you’re the only one that notices.
I’ve worked with many clients and nearly all of them go through this deeply solitary phase. By the time they find me, I’m an oasis of understanding in a previously barren desert.
Not sure who you are anymore?
As I mentioned above, at some point on this journey you’re going to realize you don’t know who you are any longer. The beautiful thing here is that once you break free of your assumptions, you get to begin again to discover and define yourself.
The journey to remembering who you are is scary and magical. It sucks at times, but if you have the courage to step into the unknown, who you become in the end will amaze you and everyone around you. This is the path to superpowers.
Entering the weird zone
Over time you will likely have more and more amazing coincidences that seem to guide you towards something important.
If you’re a logic driven person, this is about the time you’ll question your sanity. I’ve been there. It’s at this point that you have a choice to lean into a new way of living that transcends logic or stay put in your current life.
If you’ve been trying to stay put, how is that working for you? Time and again, my own story has been born out in others; ignore it too long and something will happen that you cannot ignore. You can read my full story in this collaboration of Transforming Pain Into Purpose.
When we combine logic and science with our intuition, something incredible happens. Add to this an understanding of energetics and the human biofield and things get downright wild and wonderful.
We are so much more than we know
Some of the greatest breakthroughs of humanity didn’t come from logic alone. They came from wild-ass ideas, observations, dreams and a determination to see beyond what was known as fact at that time.
Progress in science is slow and arduous under the constraints of peer review, but new frontiers are expanding every day.
A thing is only impossible until it isn’t—hello – 4 min mile. People thought it was impossible, but once it was broken, the new record fell again and again. We just needed someone to do it so others knew it was possible.
Often a theory isn’t accepted as science until it is (thank you, Einstein, Galileo, Tesla etc.) Be open to exploring new “truths.”
Nothing stays the same, not even science
The new frontiers that I initially found, the ones that allowed me to integrate the engineer in me with this new woman I was evolving into, are all using science to facilitate their endeavors and elevate humanity.
Dr. Bruce Lipton was one of the first people I found on this journey. This man has a heart the size of Texas and gives hugs like you’re a long-lost friend. It was a video I tripped over where he was explaining epigenetics and his inability, at first, to go public with what he was finding because he knew he’d be ostracized in the scientific community. He was right, he wasn’t well received, but he was also correct in his research. It takes courage to stand up for what we believe in especially when what we believe in goes against the mainstream.
Dr. Lipton’s work in epigenetics states we are not victims to our DNA, environment is key to how the DNA will (or will not) react. Same for our cells.
The implications of his work are vast and include our personal biofield which is one of my passions.
Other’s that guided me early on and continue to do so are:
Dr. Joe Dispenza and his work on the effect of meditation for healing and expanding consciousness. Becoming Supernatural was the first book of his that I read.
Lynn McTaggart’s work with the power of group intention. In The Power of Eight McTaggart demonstrates what can happen when small groups get together with intention.
There are plenty who eschew research such as this as pseudoscience. We’re talking about managing and directing our personal energetics in order to create better lives and health.
My life is vastly different today than it was in 2016 when I began this journey. I see, feel and experience everything differently now. I don’t do drama - not my own or others. I prefer to play and have fun with all these concepts.
I have a deeper understanding of who I am than ever before. My “ego self” mostly works in my favor and I am able to respond instead of react to life around me.
I am still human, of course. Some days I human better than others, but ultimately, I’m really enjoying the ride more than I ever have.
We live in a world where, more than ever, we can choose how to experience and even create our own reality.
Technology and science change. We change. We are in the process of evolving.
Hogwarts or High School? I’ll take Hogwarts every day.
By reverse engineering my journey, I created a four-month program called Conscious Quantum Living. This experience builds self-awareness of mind and body. It’s a way to optimize the human experience and bring joy back into our lives.
You can sign up for my mailing list here.
I have a growing number of videos on my YouTube channel including discussions and meditations, to get you started on your journey to self. I hope to see you there!
Sabine Priestley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sabine Priestley is the creator of Conscious Quantum Living. She is an electrical engineer, advanced Bio-Well practitioner, researcher of the nexus of science and spirituality and author of steamy, science fiction romance (yes, you read that correctly.) Love informs everything she does. She believes you shape your energy environment, or the environment you’re in will do it for you. Sabine is on a mission to provide people with the tools to navigate this 3D life in order to elevate their energetics and expand their consciousness. She gets them clarity, joy and empowered living.
