Say What You Mean So You Can Succeed And Take Others With You
Updated: Oct 26, 2021
Written by: Cathy Dimarchos, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I hear you through the silence.
Many women, especially in business, opt to stay silent and listen to where the conversation might land before they start to share their ideas. But if we, as leaders sitting around a boardroom table, as executives, and as mothers do this, what are we showing others around us – more importantly what are we showing our future generation – our children?
How can you possibly succeed in life and in business if you don’t say want you mean and ask for what you need?
I recently did a Tedx talk about what I have been seeing in the business world and what I anticipate will happen by 2040. It is about what is happening right now and what has happened for centuries. So please take the time to pause and consider the impact of what we were taught as young girls so that we can bring about the changes that we want to see in the world.
“Children should be seen and not heard.”
How many women have been raised with the belief that “children should be seen and not heard?” I had a client shared this with me again recently – a common experience that is often raised as I work with women across the globe, a common upbringing no matter the culture, in fact, no matter the gender.
I have seen the impact this has had in people’s personal lives’ and in business. It has a ripple effect in everything we do – how we connect, how we communicate (or not) and how we subconsciously impact our children, our future generation.
Staying silent is saying “No”. It prevents us from sharing our voice and when we don’t stand up for what is our truth, what we show others is that it is what is expected of us. I by no means think this is an easy pattern or belief to change, but I have recognised the power in being seen and in standing by the person, the woman, the child who is prepared to share their views, their voice so that they feel like they are being heard.
Share your voice and what resonates for you so those around you feel like they have permission to do to the same.
This simple concept of saying what you feel, what you want and what you mean has diminished over time. Whether it is in person, on the phone, in an email, or by standing on stage for the world to hear, we seem to have lost the art of being truthful and keeping it simple and ensuring that what is received is what was intended.
Early on in my career I attended a training day – “Writing for Lawyers”, whilst I was not in law, I was involved in a lot of litigation work so I thought it would be an appropriate training for me to attend. This course left an imprint on me, something that I have taken away and live by because it made me realise that no matter what we do, we always deal with people. No matter what we are trying to achieve, communication needs to be honest. That means that sometimes, we need to go against the grain and listen to what is being said. So, why is NO such a strong word in business? Why do we follow a path that has not proven itself but forms part of a process that can be done differently, better, quicker?
I have often gone against the grain. As I look back on my life, my career, I have recognised that I have drawn on lived experiences that have made me stop to think before I step forward, and I stand in the small percentage that dares to be different.
As I look at the training earlier in my career, I have also recognised that I had taken away 3 key learnings:
Write and talk to the lowest denominator in your audience
Keep words simple and don’t use jargon
Make the person receiving the information feel as smart as you if not smarter.
Over the years this has clearly stuck in my mind. It was evident to me that this training was to show me what was important in any process - the people you were amongst.
To succeed we must enable and empower those around us to take action.
If the information they need to succeed is clear, simple and achievable to be able to move forward, and most importantly, not to make them feel like they were any less important than you or that they are a failure, then they will take action.
Knowledge is only of value when shared because it is how we create impact and elevate others.
As we speak to our peers, our children, our colleagues, let’s do it with the intent that we want them to succeed without them having to second guess what we are saying.
So much time and energy is invested when we connect and communicate so let’s ensure those around know exactly what we want to say and let them know what is important. Lets prevent and minimise the second guessing or what may be the intention behind what we say. Let’s contribute to making sure our intent is simple and for the success of others.
As we step forward in life and in business, let’s place those around on a platform where we look to elevate and encourage differences. Let’s encourage out future generation to create what is yet to be a dream.
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Cathy Dimarchos, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Cathy Dimarchos is an award-winning business advisor, mentoring and coaching leaders internationally, and is an indefatigable philanthropist who believes we can all contribute to lifting the baseline of people across the world one person at a time.
She founded Solutions2you with the purpose of impacting so that she can serve others and leave a lasting imprint. As a professional advisor and motivational voice, Cathy dedicates her time to perfecting a combination of people, business, and situational skills. Her values take center stage, and business becomes honest and expressive. She believes that knowledge exchange leads to self-reliance with effective and sustainable outcomes.
Her Advisory services extend to New and Established Entrepreneurs, teams, and large corporates and support people to become antifragile in a world that is forever changing, stretching their boundaries.
“When we rise, it is important to also lift those around us” — Cathy Dimarchos.
